EMDR, Managing emotions

Is EMDR the Right Somatic Therapy for You? How to tell which therapy is best

Written by Here Counseling

“I don’t feel right in my own skin.” That sensation, of not feeling comfortable in your body, is a signal that simply talking about difficult memories, experiences, and emotions may not be enough to fully process and heal from your discomfort. The dis-ease you feel may need to be treated with therapeutic techniques that don’t rely solely on the thinking self, but on the feeling and sensing self as well: that is somatic psychotherapy.

Somatic approaches to healing were originally developed to treat trauma and post-traumatic stress disorder. Now, somatic therapies have been found to be helpful for relief of all kinds of stressors. Often, people automatically equate somatic therapy with eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR), but there are many other types. Which somatic therapy is right for you?

EMDR – Benefits

When people look for somatic therapy, they often get directed to Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR). EMDR asks you to identify the sources of trauma in your life. As you recall the sources, a therapist guides you to follow certain eye movements (such as following a pen moving side to side in front of you) to retrain the brain on a neurological level to lessen the impact of that trauma memory. This modality has been proven helpful for many people who can identify the life events that caused them to feel distressed and slowly diminish their negative impact on the body and psyche.

EMDR – Limitations

EMDR may not be the best modality to treat conditions that are biological, genetic, or generational. EMDR is not recommended for people who have dissociative disorders, complex trauma, or those who cannot identify the events from their past that bring them emotional or physical discomfort.

You may not fall under any of the above categories, and still found that EMDR did not help you ease pain around past trauma. That may be because you do not get triggered during session when those memories are brought up. EMDR works when the client becomes activated or upset when a certain traumatic memory is brought up, but if you do not get activated, the treatment cannot be effective.

Alternative Somatic Therapies to EMDR

  • Somatic Experiencing (SE): Like EMDR, SE asks clients to return to traumatic memories while a therapist guides them to slowly tolerate body sensations and emotional distress. This modality is based on the nervous system’s flight/flight/freeze response to potential harm. SE helps clients gently release stored energy from incomplete nervous system re-set.
  • Brainspotting: Like EMDR, Brainspotting was developed to treat trauma and identifies spots in a person’s visual field. This modality involves asking the client to discuss difficult feelings while noticing when they blink, twitch, wobble or roll their eyes. These micro movements act as a map for where the client should mindfully hold a particular eye position to help process trauma.
  • Body-Mind Centering integrates movement, touch, voice, and mind. Like Alexander technique, it works to re-pattern the fundamental natural developments of the body. This modality works well for those who are comfortable with free movement and are interested in the application of anatomical and physiological approaches to healing and wellness.
  • Hakomi Method is based on the idea that the body is a core resource for self-understanding. Almost all Hakomi sessions takes place in a state of mindfulness, where the client holds an inward focus on the present moment. This modality also incorporates aspects of depth psychology, which allows unconscious material that the client might not be aware of to surface and be integrated.
  • Sensorimotor Psychotherapy was developed to remedy the disconnect between mind and body during the healing process. Unlike EMDR and SE, this modality does not need the client to return to the traumatic memory itself, but rather simply the time leading up to the trauma, and then talk about any feelings they experience. The therapist will ask you to locate feelings in the body and encourage the completion of movement that were unfulfilled to create closure.
  • Laban Movement Analysis (also known as Bartenieff Fundamentals) is based on the idea that certain non-verbal postures and body movements are connected to specific emotions and that you can impact your emotional state by adjusting your body shape. Therapists “track” client movement during session, offering insight into how the movement may be connected to emotion.

All the above somatic therapy modalities have their own training and certification process. If one of them feels like a good fit, you can find a specific practitioner near you.

Woman receiving EMDR somatic therapy

Somatic Therapy Tailored for YOU.

If you are still not sure if you want to focus on just one treatment style, you can see a therapist, like me, who holds a Certification in Somatic Psychotherapies and Practices and can dip into many different modalities as needed. I highly recommend this path for those with more than one concern or diagnosis, people who suffer from both physical and emotional pain, for those who are unsure about where their emotional or physical pain comes from, and for those who want to augment regular talk therapy with specific somatic interventions tailored to fit their needs.

You may have come to therapy, not because your mind told you to, but because your body did. When the body speaks, listen.

I would love to talk with you more about providing the somatic therapy best for you.

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Anxiety

How to stop a Panic Attack: Video Explanation

Written by Connor McClenahan

A panic attack can be really scary and overwhelming.

A lot of people can get frustrated with themselves when they experience a panic attack.

It can be something that happens constantly and as a “regular” thing in your life. Because of that, you don’t feel comfortable going out in social settings or to work or other places where you fear you’ll have another panic attack. So you stay close to home and isolate yourself.

Panic attacks are a difficult experience that can cause disruption to your daily life. Let’s talk more specifically about what they are and what you can do the next time you find yourself experiencing one.

What is a Panic Attack?

A panic attack is a heightened state of anxiety. It can feel like a heart attack; you might experience heart palpitations (your heart beats really fast), chest tightness, headaches, and the inability to think clearly.

Sometimes the only thing you can do when you’re experiencing a panic attack is lay down in bed or some other safe space and wait for the pain to pass.

Why do we Have Panic Attacks?

Panic attacks can be a sign of dysregulated anxiety that’s become extremely physiological. Whenever we get anxious, our bodies sometimes give out smaller signals at first. We might feel fluttering in our chest, or we feel tension and anxiety around certain situations. Then it can build without our knowing it, until it gets to the point where it feels like something is physiologically wrong. Many people even go into the ER because they think they’re having a heart attack.

Woman overcoming panic attacks with self-care

There’s actually a lot you can learn about yourself if you are experiencing panic attacks. When you experience panic attacks, it’s a sign that something is off in your life. Something is hard to deal with, something is putting pressure on you, you’re experiencing some sort of big stressor in your life. However, sometimes you don’t know what that is on the surface, which is frustrating and difficult.

How to Reduce Panic Attacks

1. Journal Panic Attack History


Set aside some time to journal and ask yourself a few questions. When did the panic attacks start? How bad are they? What’s the normal course of a panic attack for you? When does the pain start? What symptoms do you experience? How intense do those symptoms get? When does the panic attack finally pass? Usually panic attacks last under an hour, typically around 30 minutes. Have you always experienced panic attacks or when did they start to become a thing in your life? Was there a moment in which they became worse?


The reason these things are important to know is because when you go into a panic attack, you want to know what triggered it and how long the course of the panic attack might last.

2. Make a plan for the panic attack


A lot of people get frustrated when they experience panic attacks; they just want them to go away. But once you get to that heightened state, there’s not much you can do aside from waiting it out. As difficult as it may be, waiting it out requires you to release, relax, and let it all pass. So find a comfortable, safe space where you’re not around other people. It might be helpful to have something to hold, somewhere to lay down, something to drink – whatever will help you feel safest. Let yourself ride it out, knowing that it will eventually pass. You don’t have to talk about your anxiety during those 30-ish minutes or try to figure things out ways to make the panic go away. You just need to ride the wave. At the end of those 30-some minutes (or however long it takes for the panic to pass) is when you can do some assessing.

3. Assess Causes for the Panic Attack


Get out the same journal you originally wrote in (or a piece of paper or even a Notes app) and ask yourself: When did I first start experiencing this panic attack? When did it first start to come on? What was the earliest point that I can recognize I started to feel anxious? For some, the anxiety builds for a week before they experience a panic attack. For others, the anxiety builds for a day before they experience a panic attack. What was that moment for you, in which you started to feel anxious and tense? See if you can do a bit of exploration to understand the earliest moment at which you remember yourself feeling anxious.

4. Work with a Therapist who can treat a Panic Attack


In addition to these things, working with a professional will be important in order to understand your panic attack history and to learn ways to manage and regulate your anxiety before it escalates to a panic attack. Through therapy, you get the opportunity to learn how to pay attention to the cues your body gives you when you are feeling anxious, and know how to take care of yourself in the moments when you are feeling increasingly stressed. You learn to listen to yourself, to take care of yourself, and to resolve the anxiety before you find yourself in a full blown panic attack. We have therapists who can help with anxiety and panic attacks.

A panic attack can be treated, and you can experience relief

Those who deal with anxiety and panic attacks often feel very alone, but you are not alone. Please reach out to a professional if these are things you are struggling with. It might be nerve-wracking to do so but doing so is also a significant step towards better understanding yourself and prioritizing your mental and emotional well-being.

I help professionals who experience panic attacks to learn new ways of coping with difficult emotions.

Learn about Therapy for Panic Attacks
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somatic experiencing therapy
Managing emotions

The blame game: How to stop the cycle of anger and self criticism

Written by Kristi Wollbrink

I had this self critical moment the other day.  I had made a plan for all the things I needed to get done.  I was going to stop and get a few errands done before I headed into the office.  I was sure I could get things completed and into the office with plenty of time to spare.  But I found myself with a very unexpected change in my plan.  In an instant, I noticed myself in this space where it felt like everything else in me was in wild turmoil, as if the world had stopped for a moment and I was stuck in this frenzy of emotion and frustration.

Maybe you’ve faced one of these moments.  One moment you are sailing along perfectly, feeling calm, centered and ready to conquer the day.  The next moment, you find yourself feeling overwhelmed, your mind and emotions spinning.  It’s in these moments that you can feel like you’ve been completely derailed from the place of focus and connection with yourself.  Like your very sense of safety and happiness is gone.

Blaming Others vs. Blaming Myself

Often in these moments we can find ourselves moving toward two common responses.  The first is this feeling of anger at the people or situation around us.  We press our fear and frustrations outward onto those around us.  You may find yourself feeling your internal pressure rising and getting defensive and reactive.  This can lead to moments of responding with yelling or blaming others.  

On the other side of this is frustration toward yourself.  Your mind starts to race and you find yourself stuck in these self-defeating thoughts.  The feeling of fear and anger are aimed within us, with blame and self-criticism toward ourselves.   You may find yourself feeling foolish or embarrassed, and begin to blame yourself for all the things you should (or shouldn’t) have done.   

These responses are both natural coping mechanisms that we use to help us to try to move through difficult moments.  Whether is an unexpected change of plans or a critical comment from a co-worker or partner – these moments can cause us to begin to move toward these responses of blame and self-criticism.  This is linked with our survival instinct as a way that our nervous system is using to try to protect us from moments where we feel some kind of threat, which results in this fear response turning on.  

woman freed from self criticism

Begin to understand the pain behind the blame.

Whether the blame is internalized in blaming ourselves, or more external in our frustration and anger toward others, both of these are an emotional response to a deeper sense of pain that we are responding to.  

But the only way to help in moving past these, is to begin to understand what is going on that is behind these behaviors.

Using these three steps, you can begin to allow yourself to slow down the frustration and begin to calm these patterns of blame.

3 steps to slow down and stop self criticism.

1. Tune in to slow down.

Slowing to take a few breathes can be a huge help when you notice these feelings of anger or blame that you may be experiencing.  Often, when we are overwhelmed with fear or anger we are unable to access the place of being able to regain control and calm.  It can be helpful to just allow yourself to be present in the feeling and try to regain control of yourself in the moment.  In these moments our fear response often has us going into a place of heightening of physical tension – our heart rate rises, our breath gets short and shallow, our muscles can get tense.  It is important to disrupt this place of physical tension to be able to then allow yourself to feel safe enough to slow down and decrease the blame.  Breathing in as you count up to 5 and then counting back down from 5 as your breath out can be a great way to help slow yourself down.  Tuning into notice this intentional act of slowing your breath can remind you that you are able to regain control.

2. Begin to understand what you are feeling.

It can be helpful to ask yourself, what is it that is feeling attacked or threatened right now?  It can be hard in the moment to be able to understand what it is that is going on underneath the anger and blaming behaviors, but taking a moment to consider what it is that is the deeper feeling can help us to begin to allow a greater space for understanding that can help us to feel more calm and in control.  You may first start with stating that you are feeling angry or frustrated.  Then begin to ask yourself what am I feeling that is fueling the feeling of anger or self-criticism.  Anger is usually a response to a deeper internal feeling and it is important to be able to name that underlying feeling to help in reducing the blame and criticism that you are experiencing.  It could be that you feel helpless or unseen; maybe you feel alone or unsupported.  Whatever it is, taking a moment to understand and name this feeling is a powerful way to begin to regain control over the anger and blame.

3. Imagine yourself as you would a close friend.

As you begin to notice this underlying feeling, it can be helpful to imagine yourself as you would a close friend.  If for a moment, you can imagine your friend telling you about how they are feeling misunderstood and helpless, you might do something like slow down and take a moment to say that you are sorry they are feeling this way.  You might lean a little closer and ask how you can help them.  You might remind your friend of all the ways you see her as helpful and valuable.  These are likely the same things that you are needing to know to help you to slow down the blame and anger and begin to regain a feeling of internal control and support that you need to be able to move forward.  It could be helpful to use a word or phrase that you can say to yourself that can help to calm this feeling of anger and frustration.  Something like, “I am able to make decisions for myself” or “I am not alone and can ask for help” can be really helpful to slow down regain a sense of confidence and control. 

These overwhelming moments of blame and frustration don’t have to keep you from being able to stay in control and in tune with your truest self.  Learning these three simple steps can help to take you from a place of regret, anger and fear and into a place of connectedness with what you need most. 

Gaining the confidence you need to help you overcome these patterns of blaming yourself and others is possible.  It can be helpful to have someone to come alongside you in this process of change. 

I help people like you to begin to understand their own needs and to move toward a greater place of connection with themselves and those they are closest with. 

 Click below to schedule a free consultation.

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Anxiety

The ABC’s of Panic Attacks: How to Empower Yourself

Written by Here Counseling

By Arianne MacBean

Many clients come to therapy because they experience panic. Panic, or intense anxiety, can show up in the most random places and moments. You’re sitting there, doing your thing, and then suddenly you feel dizzy, your heart races, you feel nauseous, and a sense of doom overtakes you. This is panic, and it can feel overwhelming. However, there are three steps you can take to understand, manage, and re-ground yourself if you find yourself in the throes of an episode.

Panic attacks are a way your body deals with fear.

Before we get to the ABC’s of how to deal with panic, it’s important to understand that panic is a way your body deals with fear, and it is a natural survival mechanism. In a way, panic is your body trying to help you. You’ve probably heard of the flight, flight, freeze responses that all animals have when they are faced with something that threatens them. These innate responses say that when the animal is frightened, they should either engage aggressively, run away, or hide. Fight, flight, and freeze are tools that keep animals alive.

You can ease out of panic attacks.

When a human animal experiences panic, it’s the same thing. Panic in a human is saying, “You’re scared, and you need to do something about it.” But why do we experience panic when we’re just sitting on the couch? Because life is complicated for human animals, and we have many kinds of micro and macro threats that we experience over a lifetime. Those threats become recorded into the body and, especially if we do not process them, they can show up unannounced to remind us that we do indeed need to deal with them. In this way, panic is a reminder that we have some fear that needs to be processed. This is why so many clients come to therapy – to deal with these unconscious fears. So, when you’re not in the therapy office processing emotions in a safe space with a caring advocate, how can you soothe yourself out of panic?

The ABC’s of Panic Attacks: 3 ways to recover

A. Acknowledge.

It’s vital that when you begin to experience panic that you acknowledge what is going on and that the panic is not YOU, but a feeling you have. Acknowledging panic can look like saying to yourself, “You’re feeling panic. Panic is just your body telling you to pay attention.” You can remind yourself that panic is an energy in your body that will pass soon. Our instinct when we feel panic is to distract ourselves from the discomfort and focus on something else, but like most emotions, being with the feeling will help you move through it more productively than ignoring it. Dealing with, and acknowledging panic, is the one of the best cures for it.

B. Breathe.

Focusing on your breath really is the trick to calming panic. A simple slow inhale through the nose and a long, controlled exhale through the mouth is always a great technique. If you watch any great baseball slugger at bat, you will see them use this method to calm themselves under pressure. If you want to try something a little more structured, you can inhale for a count of three, and exhale for a count of five. Lengthening the exhale will activate your parasympathetic nervous system, which controls how the body relaxes.

C. Center.

Centering is a way to re-orient yourself back to the here and now. A great way to center is to look around and notice three things in the environment around you. When your eyes fall on, let’s say, a bookshelf, really look at it. Notice the spines of the books, the colors of covers, the sheen of the wooden shelf. Then, let your eyes wander to another thing in your field of vision. Focus on it, see the details, textures, as if you’re looking at it for the first time. This will help bring you to the safety of the moment. It will help you see that you are not under attack.

As much as panic can feel engulfing, it is not entirely out of your control. Understand that panic is your body’s way of letting you know you have feelings of fear that need to be addressed. Acknowledge that panic is an energy force moving through you. Breath to anchor yourself and calm the panicky energy. Center yourself by gently engaging with the environment around you. These ABC’s are steps you can take to befriend panic as a signal to slow down, check in with yourself, and be in the process of healing.

LEARN MORE ABOUT ARIANNE



Further Resources for Understanding Panic:
https://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/Resources/Looking-After-Yourself/Panic

https://washingtoncenterforcognitivetherapy.com/problems-treated/panic-disorder/panic-disorder-organizations/

https://www.psychologytools.com/self-help/panic-attacks-and-panic-disorder/

https://www.healthline.com/health/anxiety/best-anxiety-books#A-quick-look-at-the-13-best-books-about-anxiety

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Anxiety, Managing emotions

What is somatic psychotherapy? How body awareness restores your mind

Written by Here Counseling

Somatic psychotherapy is the umbrella term for methods of therapy that are rooted in the body where trauma, stress, and memory are housed. Somatic psychotherapies are based on the theory that the body holds emotion and experience. When hard-to-handle feelings and traumas are not processed, they can manifest as anxiety, panic, depression, chronic pain or illness, relational issues, self-esteem problems, grief, or post-traumatic stress disorder. Somatic methods aid in draining the power of these feelings through attunement with the body – its positions, gestures, energies, and sensations. 

Somatic Psychotherapy Modalities

There are many somatic psychotherapeutic modalities. You may have heard of some of them such as, Somatic Experiencing, Sensorimotor Psychotherapy, Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR), Hakomi Method, Brainspotting, and plain old Mindfulness. Ultimately, the kind of somatic work that happens in the therapy room depends on the client and the therapist and can involve a wide variety of techniques, including breath work, visualizations, sensory awareness, posture tracking, guided imagery, gesture, and movement. 

Somatic Psychotherapy Exercises

Sometimes, somatic exercises are very straight forward, such as simply sending compassionate breath toward a particular part of the body that is experiencing activation. Other times, exercises are created on the spot to aid a client’s specific needs in the moment. For example, a client who struggles with low self-esteem feels they are unable to accept compliments. They might say, “Positivity just flows right through me – in one ear and out the other.” In this case, we might mindfully “build” a space in the body to hold compliments, positive feedback, and love. Then, when they hear a compliment, they can visualize the affirmation dropping into and being held compassionately in the space they created for it in their body.

Somatic psychotherapy is a way to help people feel safe in their bodies while exploring thoughts, feelings, and memories. Painful experiences live in us on a cellular level, but we can heal by restoring the body to live with vitality, ease, and joy.

Questions about Somatic Psychotherapy

  • One question I often get is, “Does somatic psychotherapy include talk therapy?” The answer is YES! Although somatic practices are body-based, talking through feelings and sensations is an essential component of the therapeutic work.
  • Another question I get is, “Do I have to dance?” And the answer is NO, not unless you want to. Like most productive therapy, somatic work is client-centered and client-lead. Together with your therapist, you decide when and how to integrate the body into the healing process.

If you choose to work with me, you can expect:

  • I will naturally return to the body in the here and now as a way to ground and understand authentic self.
  • I utilize body scanning techniques to gain awareness of where pain or emotion is located in the body.
  • I track and bring awareness to repetitive gestures or postures that align with certain memories or feelings to aid in self-knowledge.
  • I share tools for calming, centering, and releasing emotions in productive ways.
  • I gently guide clients through painful experiences while noting the accompanying physical sensations and addressing them in the moment.
  • I emphasize the body as a base to locate natural resources, strengths, and self-empowerment.

If you have interest in somatic psychotherapy and healing your body, I would love to talk with you.

Learn about Somatic Psychotherapy with Arianne

Further reading on somatic psychotherapy:

The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma (Hardcover) by Bessel van der Kolk 

Hakomi Mindfulness-Centered Somatic Psychotherapy: A Comprehensive Guide to Theory and Practice (Paperback) by Halko Weiss 

Somatic Psychology: Body, Mind and Meaning (Paperback) by Linda Hartley 

Awakened Heart, Embodied Mind: A Modern Yoga Philosophy Infused with Somatic Psychology & Neuroscience (Kindle Edition) by Julian Walker

Here Counseling

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Parents who have undergone their Pre-Adoption Psychological Evaluation with their adopted child: a happy family.
Testing and Assessment

Unlock the Power of the Pre-Adoption Psychological Evaluation

Written by Here Counseling

Transitioning into parenthood through adoption is a journey filled with anticipation, love, and the promise of new beginnings. Yet, as you embark on this life-altering adventure, there are essential steps to consider. One of these steps is the Pre-Adoption Psychological Evaluation. In my previous blog, I detailed exactly what this process is and how to navigate it. You can read that by clicking here. Adoption agencies require a psych eval as part of the adoption process to help ensure a good placement of child and parent(s) (which you can read more about by clicking here). Today, let’s delve into the invaluable insights this evaluation can offer you, as you prepare to embrace parenthood through adoption.

The Significance of the Pre-Adoption Psychological Evaluation

As mentioned, in my previous blog, I provided a comprehensive explanation of what a Pre-Adoption Psychological Evaluation entails. Furthermore, I highlighted how it serves as a vital tool for prospective parents. It offers them a deeper understanding of themselves, their parenting styles, and their readiness for adoption. If you haven’t had a chance to read that blog, I encourage you to do so, as it lays the foundation for the discussion here. Now, let’s shift our focus to the significance of the Pre-Adoption Psychological Evaluation beyond its procedural aspects. Here, we explore why this evaluation is more than just a checklist item—it’s a transformative experience that can enrich your adoption journey in numerous ways.

1. Self-Discovery and Reflection

The evaluation process encourages introspection. It prompts you to reflect on your motivations, values, and experiences, allowing you to gain a deeper understanding of your own identity and how it aligns with your parenting aspirations.

2. Navigating Challenges

Parenthood, whether through adoption or biological means, comes with its share of challenges. The Pre-Adoption Psychological Evaluation equips you with insights into your coping strategies, emotional resilience, and stress management techniques, ensuring you are better prepared to handle the demands of parenting.

3. Building Secure Attachments

Understanding your attachment style and history is pivotal in forming strong bonds with your future child. This knowledge enables you to create a secure and loving environment for them from day one. Understanding your attachment style and history is crucial for building strong bonds with your future adopted child. Your attachment style, whether secure or otherwise, shapes how you approach relationships and parenting. A secure attachment style can foster a safe and emotionally connected environment, while recognizing less secure styles empowers you to address potential challenges. By delving into your attachment history, you gain insights into your tendencies and can proactively create a loving, secure, and emotionally nurturing atmosphere for your adopted child, ensuring they feel valued and cherished from day one in their new family.

4. Setting Realistic Expectations

It’s common for individuals to have expectations about parenthood and adoption. The evaluation helps you align these expectations with the realities of the adoption process, fostering a more informed and adaptive mindset.

5. Strengthening Support Networks

A strong support system is crucial on your adoption journey. The evaluation process encourages you to assess your existing support network and explore ways to enhance it, ensuring you have the backing you need.

6. Personal Growth

Embracing the evaluation as an opportunity for personal growth can be immensely rewarding. It’s not about judgment but about growth, self-awareness, and empowerment.

7. Informed Decision-Making

Post-evaluation, you’ll have a clear picture of your strengths and areas for development. Armed with this knowledge, you can make informed decisions about your adoption journey, from choosing the right agency to preparing for your child’s arrival.

Utilize the Power of the Pre-Adoption Psychological Evaluation

Remember, the Pre-Adoption Psychological Evaluation is not a standalone event. Rather, it is an integral part of your preparation for parenthood. By recognizing the importance of self-discovery, personal growth, and readiness, you can navigate the adoption journey with greater confidence and insight.

In my role as a clinical psychologist with extensive experience in Pre-Adoption Psychological Assessments, I am here to support you on this transformative path. The evaluation process is a collaborative and nurturing experience, designed to empower you to become the best possible parent for your future child.

Book your Pre-Adoption Psychological Evaluation Today

Let’s begin this adventure together, where every step is a meaningful one toward becoming the loving and nurturing parent you aspire to be. Your journey to parenthood through adoption continues, and I am here to walk beside you every step of the way.

Ready to embark on this incredible journey? Click below to book your Pre-Adoption Psychological Evaluation with us today.

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Managing emotions

Constantly worrying? How to soothe rumination using somatic psychotherapy

Written by Here Counseling

Have you ever been driving somewhere, and a memory from the past suddenly overwhelms you and you forget where you are going? Have you ever woken up in the middle of the night and began to worry about all the things you need to do, until the thoughts take over and you cannot fall back to sleep? Or have you ever had a perfectly normal day, when all of a sudden, a negative thought creeps into your head and snowballs into a sadness that you can’t shake off? This is rumination, persistent negative thoughts that hijack our minds, interfering with normal activity.

Many clients turn to therapy because they cannot get out of their heads or worry too much. Rumination is common, normal, and most of the time, temporary. In some severe cases, it can become continuous and negatively impact daily functions. More common temporary rumination is the mind’s way of letting us know we are anxious, and we can do something to help soothe ourselves out of this state.

Do thoughts have you, or do you have thoughts?

The way I like to describe rumination is that it feels like thoughts have you, rather than you having thoughts. It’s as though your thoughts are dragging you away from your centered self. Thoughts are in control, not you. Here are a few techniques that can get you back to feeling that you are in control of where you mind goes.

1. Move your body to reduce worry

A great way to unlock ourselves from rumination is to move our awareness into our body. If you find yourself ruminating in bed while trying to fall asleep, hug your knees tightly to your chest and then alternate that position with a long, big, full-bodied stretch. You will find that you naturally inhale deeply on the stretch and exhale slowly when you crunch you knees to your chest. Do this a few times. You might even want to exhale with aahhh, shhhhhh, or hhmmm sound, which stimulates the vagus nerve system, helping to promote inner balance and relaxation. 

If you’re driving, shoulder rolls can help bring your focus to your body and you can keep both hands on the wheel! Try inhaling as you roll the shoulder forward and up, and exhaling as you roll them back and down. Try to trace the widest circle your shoulders can make. Again, you can add a sound on the exhale – and the best thing about doing this when you’re driving alone is that no one can hear you. So, make the sounds as loud and weird as you want. A sense of playfulness can also help ease our way out of obsessive thinking.

2. Touch your body to reduce worry.

If you find yourself ruminating, you can give yourself a gentle face massage, or lightly tap the tips of your fingers on your face, head, neck, chest, and shoulders. This body stimulation will aid in notifying your brain that you are safe and not in harms way. It will signal to your brain that it’s OK to relax. You can also alternating tapping your right and then left thigh, which activates your right and left brain, aiding in re-orienting and unhooking from repetitive thinking.

3. Focus on your breath to reduce worry

A tried-and-true method that has helped many of my clients fall back to sleep or bring them swiftly out of a rumination episode is a ten-count visualization. This works best with eyes closed or soft inward focus, so do not do this on the road! Tune into your natural breathing rhythm. When you’re ready, visualize the number one in your mind’s eye as you exhale. Conjure the number so that you see it in front of you, almost like the number appears in your mind floating. Do this for each number all the way to ten, and then begin again with number one. This is the key – always return to one after you reach ten. Some nights, it might take three rounds before you fall sleep and others, ten or twenty. Keep at it! If you find your mind returning to intrusive thoughts let them glide by and return to your ten count visualization.

If you can’t close your eyes, but you need a breathing technique to re-center yourself after you have moved or touched your body out of rumination, a simple box breathe can help. Visualize your inhale moving up the left side of a square, extend or hold the inhale as you visualize tracing the top line of the square, exhale as you visualize tracing down the right line of the square, and extend or hold the exhale as you visualize tracing the bottom line, completing the square.

Freedom to be.

Repetitive thoughts do not have to drag us away from ourselves. They are signals that we need some reassurance, re-calibrating, and re-centering. Activating the body is a powerful way to exit the hamster wheel of obsessive thinking and anchor ourselves in the life force of breath, and just be.

-Arianne MacBean

Somatic therapy in Pasadena with Arianne MacBean, AMFT
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Anxiety

Why do I get panic attacks? How to soothe yourself and restore calm inside, for lawyers and other professionals

Written by Connor McClenahan

The familiar pounding in your chest, the tightness in your lungs – it can feel like you’re having a heart attack. What’s worse is you are afraid it could happen again at any moment. You feel hesitant going out, being social, even driving, for fear that you’ll have another attack.

As someone who takes pride in your work, who is used to pushing hard and getting a result, it’s common to feel shame about the anxiety attacks. You can wonder

  • Why is this panic attack happening?
  • Why won’t it go away?
  • What do I do when I have panic attacks?
  • Do other professionals experience this?

There are many people who experience panic just like you. It’s a common way our bodies react when anxiety flares up. Let’s talk about why panic attacks happen and how to shift your approach to help you grow.

Why you’re experiencing panic attacks: suppressing anxiety

Panic attacks happen when anxiety is “disregulated”. This means that the anxiety isn’t consciously seen or paid attention to. When this happens, the anxiety doesn’t have a backboard. It becomes louder and louder until it shows up in a strong physiological way: heavy breathing, tight chest, and the feeling like something is seriously wrong in our bodies.

Why is the anxiety not consciously paid attention to? For some of us, we don’t like to pay attention when we’re anxious. We might avoid feelings like disappointment, worry, and concern because they make us feel out of control. Sometimes our way of getting through those feelings is to “change the channel”. This is called affect suppression. When the feeling of anxiety comes up we don’t pay attention to it or wonder about it – we try to get it out of our heads. This can look like

  • Addictive behaviors
  • Fidgeting
  • Workaholism
  • Excessive phone use
  • Substance use
  • Sleeplessness
  • Avoiding silence

But the trick is, the less we pay attention to the anxiety, the louder it tends to get.

How to make panic attacks stop: seeing anxiety as a signal

For panic attacks to stop, we need to see anxiety as a signal, not a disease. Our anxiety is usually a signal that something doesn’t feel safe. It’s a sign that something needs attention, just like when a fire alarm goes off.

If your building’s fire alarm went off, you wouldn’t put in headphones right away. You’d turn, look, not for the alarm sound, but for the look and smell of smoke. In the same way, our panic attacks are not themselves the thing we need to “fix” or make go away. They are a signal that something is off in our lives. It may be a relationship, a re-emerging trauma, a life-transition, or work-related stressor that is no longer tolerable. Your mind is telling you that you’re unsafe and you need to pay attention.

What happens if we don’t pay attention to the anxiety signal?

If we don’t pay attention to the signal of anxiety, our panic will get worse. The more common panic attacks become, the more they lead to agoraphobia – the fear of leaving the house. You may feel this presently in your life. It’s the feeling of fearfulness and avoidance of any trips or engagements that take you away from home. The fear that you’ll have another panic attack keeps you close to home. People who have agoraphobia struggle to accomplish daily tasks and the world feels unsafe to them.

Additionally, if we don’t pay attention to anxiety, we continue to avoid and suppress it through addictive behaviors. It becomes hard to sleep, hard to rest, hard to concentrate. We depend more and more on substances like caffeine, alcohol, and other addictive substances. We avoid anything that will trigger an attack.

Most of all, when we don’t pay attention to anxiety, we diminish some of the most vibrant parts of ourselves.

There’s a different way to handle anxiety and panic attacks

We need to learn a new way to engage our anxiety if we want panic attacks to subside. For lawyers and other professionals, it can be hard to slow down and trust that doing so will actually move them forward faster than “changing the channel”.

It’s incredibly difficult.

Because listening to your anxiety requires a new voice inside: one that can be understanding and empathetic toward your experience. One that is soothing rather than critical. It can be difficult to trust that this small act is actually a fulcrum that will change the course of your life. Yet this is the work I engage in all the time with people just like you. One of the most powerful things you can do with your panic attack is give yourself a chance to listen to yourself. I can help you do that. Contact me today for a consultation.

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Connor McClenahan

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Childhood ADHD screener. Pre-Adoption Evaluation for parents trying to adopt child as psychologist helps individual or couple with adoption process
Testing and Assessment

Pre-Adoption Psychological Evaluations: Everything You Need to Know

Written by Here Counseling

The journey towards adoption can be a roller-coaster of emotions, hopes, and uncertainties. If you are a prospective adoptive parent, you may feel wholly overwhelmed by the process. This can be frustrating and confusing. You may find yourself wondering why the worthy goal to provide a loving and stable home for a child in need is so challenging. Perhaps you are thinking that a Pre-Adoption Psychological Evaluation is just one more box to tick in a series of required steps towards your goal. Additionally, you may be wondering why it is even necessary.

I am here to simplify this process. Psychologists play a crucial role in the adoption process. We offer support and conduct Pre-Adoption Psychological Evaluations to ensure the best possible match for both child and family. My goal is to make this part of the process comfortable, streamlined, and straightforward for you. Firstly, let me explain what we will be doing and why Pre-Adoption Psychological Evaluations have become a mandatory step in the adoption process.

To learn more about our pre-adoption psychological evaluation services in California, click here. You can also book a call with us at the button at the bottom of the page.

Understanding Pre-Adoption Psychological Evaluations

A pre-adoption psychological evaluation is a comprehensive assessment conducted by a psychologist to determine the psychological readiness of prospective adoptive parents. This evaluation aims to provide insights into the individual’s emotional well-being, parenting abilities, and capacity to meet the needs of an adopted child. Here are some key aspects of the evaluation:

1. Psychosocial History

Firstly, I will conduct a clinical interview to assess your psychosocial history. This includes an exploration of your own family of origin and your mental health history, including any previous diagnoses or treatments. By understanding your mental health journey, I can assess its impact on your current well-being and coping strategies. That’s because this helps me identify potential challenges and develop strategies to support you in providing a loving and stable environment for your future child.

2. Parenting Attitudes and Skills

Secondly, I will ask you about your parenting attitudes, beliefs, and strategies. My aim here is to learn more about your ability to provide a nurturing and supportive environment. We will explore elements such as your parenting approach, discipline methods, and communication style. This part of the assessment helps ensure that your parenting style aligns with the needs of the child you adopt.

3. Relationships and Support Systems

Thirdly, I will evaluate your current support systems, including your relationships with family, friends, and community, which contribute to a strong support network. I recognize the importance of a robust support system in the adoption journey. By assessing the quality of your relationships and the availability of social support, I can gauge the resources you currently have in place and recommend additional resources, if relevant, to help you navigate the joys and challenges of adoptive parenting.

Common Questions about Pre-Adoption Psychological Evaluations

1. I’ve already done so much. Why is a psychological evaluation necessary for adoption?

A pre-adoption psychological evaluation is necessary to ensure the well-being and compatibility of the prospective parents and the child, promoting a successful adoption outcome and long-term family stability. By assessing various psychological factors, I can identify any potential challenges or areas of strength, which allows me to provide targeted support and guidance throughout the adoption process.

2. I have faced mental health challenges in the past. Sometimes I still do. Will this affect my chances of adopting?

Firstly, having a history of mental health challenges does not automatically disqualify someone from adopting. Psychologists focus on assessing your current emotional well-being and coping strategies. I understand that individuals grow and evolve over time. Thus, your present state matters most in determining your readiness to provide a loving and stable home. I work collaboratively with you to address any concerns and to provide resources and strategies to support your emotional well-being throughout the adoption journey.

3. What can I do to prepare for a pre-adoption psychological evaluation?

Prior to the evaluation, it is helpful to reflect on your motivations for adoption, review your parenting strategies, and be open and honest about your experiences and challenges. Initially, consider what you envision for your future family. Next, think about any concerns or questions you may have. Remember, the evaluation is designed to support you in the adoption process, so approach it with an open mind and a willingness to share your thoughts and feelings. Understandably, it can be uncomfortable to talk about such personal topics. That’s why I create a warm, empathetic, and comfortable space for your evaluation, be it virtual or in-person.

Choosing the Right Psychologist for Your Pre-Adoption Psychological Evaluation

It is important to consider what you are looking for from your assessment. I pride myself in offering competitive prices to lower the financial stressor. I also offer both virtual and in-person assessments. Therefore, as long as you are a resident of California, you don’t have to physically be in Los Angeles. If you’re interested in virtual assessment, check in with your adoption agent. Specifically, ask if the country you are adopting from (e.g. India) requires you to be at least partially assessed in-person. If you would like to learn more about Pre-Adoption Psychological Evaluations, peruse common Q&A’s answered by Raising Everlasting Hope by clicking here.

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Person utilizing EMDR to address trauma
EMDR, Managing emotions

Is EMDR the best way to treat trauma? Proven therapy options to help you recover

Written by Here Counseling

Emotional trauma can be a daily struggle. It can be upsetting to have feelings like fear, panic, anger, or sadness pop-up uninvited. Maybe you have wondered about how to get help, but have felt overwhelmed at the options. Which therapist is going to help me? Is there a “right” kind of therapy that will make my daily life better? And what is EMDR?

I understand how hard it can be to settle on the right kind of therapy for you. In this blog, I’m going to help you make sense of a few of the most common approaches to treating emotional trauma, including EMDR, Somatic Experiencing, CBT, and DBT.

Is there a “go-to” way to treat trauma?

In short, no. Trauma affects people in very different ways. It can be caused by a single highly traumatic event or by repeated experiences to what therapists refer to as “little ‘t’ traumas.” Regardless of the form it takes, trauma can cause long-lasting psychological distress that affects every aspect of one’s life.

Let’s talk options, EMDR and otherwise

The most common form of therapy for trauma is talk therapy. Talk therapy can utilize numerous modalities, from psychodynamic to CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy). Both integrate evidence-based practices. They have been tried and tested and demonstrated effectiveness across various populations and symptoms. EMDR is a new method that many people find highly effective to alleviate their symptoms of trauma. However, it is just one of many therapeutic techniques that can help you more effectively cope with and overcome your trauma. Depending on your needs and preferences, you may select for a therapist who specializes in one/multiple of the following forms of treatment.

1. Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

In recent years, EMDR was developed. It quickly became a popular form of treatment for trauma. EMDR was developed in the late-1980s by psychologist Francine Shapiro to treat PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). EMDR targets trauma’s underlying emotional and cognitive processes. Therapists who practice EMDR believe that traumatic experiences can become “stuck” in the brain. Memories of trauma can thus cause negative beliefs and emotions that affect one’s ability to cope. EMDR can help reprocess these experiences and help develop more adaptive beliefs and coping mechanisms.

In summary, EMDR involves bilateral stimulation. This may be achieved through eye movements, tapping, or auditory cues. While focusing on these cues, the client focuses on a traumatic memory. This bilateral stimulation is believed to aid the client as they reprocess their traumatic memory, thereby facilitating the client to process the memory in a new manner. In my next blog, I’ll interview a therapist who integrates EMDR into treatment for trauma to further explore the goals, practice, and effectiveness of EMDR therapy.

2. Somatic Experiencing (SE)

Of the other treatment methods included in this blog, Somatic Experiencing (SE) has the most in common with EMDR. If you have ever heard of “tapping,” you are already familiar with SE! SE focuses on the physical sensations associated with trauma. It is based on the belief that traumatic experiences can become “trapped” in the body. SE theorizes that by releasing these physical sensations, you can release the trauma and heal. In SE, the therapist will help you become more aware of the physical sensations associated with trauma. This may include tightness in the chest, tension in the muscles, or a racing heart. You will then learn to tune into these sensations and to develop strategies for releasing them. SE often involves gentle physical touch, such as tapping or holding, to help the person release the physical tension that is associated with the trauma. The therapist might also guide you through movements or exercises to help release the trauma from your body.

3. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) focuses on the triad relationship between thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. It is often used to treat anxiety and depression, but can also be effective in treating trauma. CBT will teach you how to identify negative thought patterns associated with your trauma. Then you will learn to challenge them, and then replace them with more realistic, positive, and adaptive ones. This can help you develop coping strategies and improve your overall well-being.

4. Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)

Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) was originally developed to treat borderline personality disorder. However, it has been found to be effective in treating other mental health disorders as well, including trauma. DBT focuses on helping you learn to regulate your emotions and develop more effective coping strategies. In DBT, your therapist will teach you how to identify the triggers that lead to emotional dysregulation. You will then learn and practice skills to help you manage your emotions. These skills may include mindfulness, distress tolerance, and interpersonal effectiveness.

So how do I determine which method is right for me?

Actually, you don’t need to choose just one! EMDR is not a standalone treatment for trauma. That means that it is often used in combination with other therapies. EMDR’s goal is to reduce traumatic memories’ intensity and associated negative beliefs. Thus, EMDR can make it easier for you to engage in other forms of therapy. Overall, there are many different therapeutic approaches to treating trauma, and no one approach is right for everyone. The best approach will depend on your individual needs, preferences, and experiences.

What are my next steps?

Whether you choose EMDR, CBT, DBT, SE, or another approach to treating trauma, the most important thing is to take that first step and seek help. If you are struggling with trauma or a trauma-related disorder, it’s important to seek help from a qualified mental health professional who can help you find the right treatment approach for you. As a psychologist, I appreciate when potential clients ask me about my qualifications to help them achieve their treatment goals! I hope this empowers you to ask the therapist you are considering working with about their level of experience and expertise in treating trauma in general and/or in a specific form of treatment.

Trauma can have a profound impact on a person’s life, but it doesn’t have to control it. With the help of a qualified mental health professional, you can develop the skills and strategies you need to heal from the effects of trauma and live a happier, more fulfilling life.

Don’t let trauma hold you back any longer – book an appointment with a psychologist today and start your journey towards healing and recovery. Your mental health and well-being are worth investing in, and there is no better time than now to take that first step towards a brighter future.

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