Trauma therapy in Pasadena
Anxiety, EMDR, Managing emotions

How Does Trauma Change my Brain? Discover How Your Brain is Built to Heal

Written by herecounseling

Trauma can leave a lasting mark on your life—maybe you’re on edge all the time, or it’s hard to feel like yourself. You’re not alone, and it’s not your fault. Trauma changes how your brain works, but here’s the good news: your brain can heal. This blog is for anyone thinking about starting trauma therapy. We’ll answer common questions you might have about what trauma does to your brain, why it feels so overwhelming, and how therapy can help you take back control.

Questions about how trauma impacts your brain:

  1. Why do I have trouble with emotions and memories after trauma?
  2. Why does my trauma feel different from others’ experiences?
  3. Do my genetics affect how trauma impacts me?
  4. How does trauma impact my brain chemistry?
  5. Can my brain really heal from trauma?
  6. How can therapy help my brain process trauma?
  7. How does trauma affect my focus, relationships, or health?

Trauma Reshapes the Brain—But So Can Healing

Explore how your brain is wired for recovery and how therapy can help you reclaim peace and balance.

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Q1: Why do I have trouble with emotions and memories after trauma?

Our brains are shaped by our experiences, especially emotional and social ones. The prefrontal cortex, a key part of your brain, helps you feel safe and navigate relationships. It prioritizes learning how relationships work and what can go wrong. When you’ve experienced significant emotional or relational trauma, your brain shows some general changes. You might notice reduced activity in the prefrontal areas, which help with reasoning and emotional control, and hyper-arousal in limbic areas, like the amygdala, which signal danger.

This hyper-arousal means your brain is constantly anticipating a catastrophe, much like someone with a past back injury who stays tense to protect themselves. You might feel hyper-vigilant, always watching for the next “attack.” This makes it hard to regulate emotions, which involves both sides of your frontal lobe—areas responsible for narration, language, reason, morality, comfort, and inhibition. These areas need a lot of energy, and when you’re in a fight-or-flight state, it’s tough to access them without help from caring people.

Memory is affected too. Forming memories often requires your frontal lobe to focus attention, but trauma can make this difficult. Your hippocampus, which helps store memories, shows reduced activity, and old fear patterns take over. Here’s what this might look like:

What You Might FeelWhat’s Happening in Your BrainBrain Area Involved
Constantly on edge or jumpyYour brain’s alarm system is overly activeAmygdala
Struggling to control emotionsThe “calm down” part is overwhelmedPrefrontal Cortex
Memory gaps or feeling disconnectedStress disrupts your memory storageHippocampus

These changes vary depending on the trauma and your support system, both then and now.

What this looks like day-to-day

If you feel panicked in crowded places, it might be your amygdala overreacting, like a car alarm going off at a leaf falling.

What the research says

Shin et al. (2005) found increased amygdala activity and decreased prefrontal cortex activation in PTSD, explaining hyper-vigilance and emotional struggles. A functional magnetic resonance imaging study of amygdala and medial prefrontal cortex responses to overtly presented fearful faces in posttraumatic stress disorder

Quick tips on trauma, emotions, and memory:

  • Trauma reduces activity in your prefrontal cortex, making emotional control harder.
  • Hyper-active limbic areas keep you on edge, anticipating danger.
  • Memory formation suffers due to stress on the hippocampus.
  • Support from others can help your brain recover.

Q2: Why does my trauma feel different from others’ experiences?

There’s a big difference between one-time trauma and ongoing trauma in how your brain learns to develop, manage information, and respond. A single event, like a car accident or a betrayal, creates specific issues that don’t usually spread to every part of your life. For example, if you had a secure childhood with supportive mentors but experienced a car crash, you might get anxious about driving but not feel generally unsafe.

Chronic trauma, like ongoing childhood maltreatment, tends to generalize, affecting how your brain organizes and responds to all information. Daniel Stern, a developmental psychologist, called these “Representations of Interactions that have been Generalized” (RIGs). The earlier and more pervasive the trauma, the more it shapes your mental activity. For instance, if you faced abandonment before age two, it’s more likely to develop into a personality disorder. Later one-time events might lead to something like depression or specific fears instead.

What experts say about early trauma

“The infant’s experience is organized by repeated interactions with caregivers, forming generalized representations that shape future expectations.” – Daniel Stern, The Interpersonal World of the Infant (1985) [https://www.basicbooks.com/titles/daniel-n-stern/the-interpersonal-world-of-the-infant/9780465095897/]

Chronic trauma in early life can make you expect danger everywhere, but even specific traumas can feel heavy—both can be worked through in therapy.

De Bellis (2002) showed that early maltreatment has lasting effects on brain development, supporting the idea of generalized impacts. Developmental traumatology: The psychobiological development of maltreated children and its implications for research, treatment, and policy

Quick tips on chronic trauma vs episodic trauma

  • One-time trauma creates specific triggers, like fear of driving after an accident.
  • Chronic trauma affects how your brain handles all information.
  • Early trauma, especially before age two, can lead to deeper issues like personality disorders.
  • Your unique experience shapes how trauma affects you.

Q3: Do my genetics affect how trauma impacts me?

Genetics are complex, and we’re just starting to understand them. Years ago, we thought genes directly controlled how our brains and bodies respond, but it’s more nuanced. Your lived experiences can influence how your genes are expressed and even affect what you pass on to your kids through epigenetics. Roughly, about 50% of how you respond to trauma is genetic, and 50% is your life experiences. But we might be overestimating the role of genetics—your environment, like the support you have, matters a lot.

For example, if you have a supportive friend or family member, it can make trauma feel less overwhelming. Without that, your brain might struggle more to process the stress.

True et al. (1993) estimated 30-40% heritability for PTSD, showing genetics play a role but not the whole story. A twin study of genetic and environmental contributions to liability for posttraumatic stress symptoms

For example, if you grew up with a loving caregiver, your brain might lean on that strength to cope with a later trauma, like a job loss, compared to someone without that support.

Quick tips on genetics and trauma

  • Genetics influence about half of how trauma affects you, but experiences are just as important.
  • Supportive relationships can lessen trauma’s impact.
  • Your unique background shapes your brain’s response.

Q4: How does trauma impact my brain chemistry?

Your brain’s chemical systems, like the HPA axis and neurotransmitters (serotonin, dopamine, norepinephrine), play a big role in how trauma affects you. Serotonin, which we can think of as your “social belonging” system, helps you feel safe and resilient. When it’s low, you might feel disconnected or lonely. Dopamine is about agency and motivation—when it’s off, you might struggle to focus on goals or feel hopeful. Norepinephrine fuels your energy to respond to situations, but chronic stress can exhaust this system, leading to what’s sometimes called adrenal fatigue, where you feel drained and overwhelmed.

For example, in a fight-or-flight state, your HPA axis might be overworked, leaving you feeling wired but tired. Therapy can help by restoring safety, which lets these systems recover.

Yehuda (2002) noted HPA axis changes in PTSD, linking chronic stress to exhaustion. Post-traumatic stress disorder

Feeling tired or disconnected isn’t just “in your head”—it’s your brain’s chemistry reacting to stress, and therapy can help balance it.

Quick tips on trauma and brain chemistry

  • Low serotonin can make you feel disconnected from others.
  • Low dopamine reduces motivation and focus.
  • Overworked norepinephrine and HPA axis lead to adrenal fatigue.
  • Safety through therapy helps these systems recover.

Q5: Can my brain really heal from trauma?

Yes, your brain can heal through neuroplasticity, its ability to adapt and reorganize. When you’re younger, your brain is more flexible, quickly adapting to your environment. But even as an adult, this capacity fluctuates. When you feel fearful and alone, your brain becomes less open to new information—it’s like it’s locked in survival mode. But when you feel safe and secure, your brain can afford the energy to reorganize and heal. Social relationships, like those with a therapist or loved ones, are key to making this happen.

Davidson & McEwen (2012) found that social support promotes neuroplasticity, aiding recovery. Social influences on neuroplasticity: Stress and interventions to promote well-being

For example, imagine your brain like a garden path—trauma might have worn it down, but therapy is like planting new seeds with someone guiding you.

Quick tips on healing from trauma and neuroplasticity

  • Neuroplasticity lets your brain adapt and heal.
  • Feeling safe with others makes your brain more flexible.
  • Therapy creates the conditions for healing.

Q6: How can therapy help my brain process trauma?

Therapies like EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) and TF-CBT (Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) help your brain heal. EMDR promotes safety through its structured approach, oscillating between facing painful memories and returning to a calm state. This helps your brain process trauma through bilateral stimulation, though some studies suggest the real benefit comes from the therapist’s ability to co-regulate with you—helping you feel safe enough to process overwhelming emotions. The therapist’s presence is like borrowing their calm to handle what feels too big alone.

Stickgold (2002) suggested EMDR’s bilateral stimulation mimics REM sleep, aiding memory processing. EMDR: A putative neurobiological mechanism of action

Therapy isn’t just about talking—it’s about helping your brain feel safe to engage in a natural healing mode.

Your Brain Can Heal—Let’s Begin That Journey

Understand the science of trauma and discover how compassionate therapy supports lasting transformation.

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Quick tips on trauma therapy

  • EMDR helps by alternating between pain and safety, with the therapist’s support.
  • The therapeutic relationship is key to processing overwhelming emotions.
  • Safety helps you heal

Q7: How does trauma impact my brain’s structure?

Beyond the well-known brain areas, trauma affects other regions like the anterior cingulate cortex (ACC), which is shaped by secure mentorship and parenting. The ACC helps you lean into challenges, knowing you can bounce back. When trauma leaves you feeling alone, this area can become deficient, making you feel like all pain must be avoided or that there’s no way out. This can show up as trouble focusing (like in ADHD), difficulty trusting others, or even physical symptoms like chronic fatigue from stress.

For example, you might avoid social events because they feel overwhelming, or you might get sick more often because stress weakens your body. Therapy can help by rebuilding these brain areas, improving your focus, connections, and health.

Thomaes et al. (2013) found altered ACC function in complex PTSD, affecting emotion regulation and focus. Increased anterior cingulate cortex and hippocampus activation in Complex PTSD during encoding of negative words

For example, if you struggle to finish tasks because your mind feels scattered, it might be your ACC reacting to past trauma—but therapy can help you regain clarity.

Quick tips on trauma and brain structures

  • Trauma affects the ACC, making it hard to focus or face challenges.
  • This can lead to struggles with relationships or physical health.
  • Therapy helps rebuild these brain areas for better functioning.

Take the First Step with Trauma Therapy

Trauma may have changed your brain, but it doesn’t define you. With therapy, you can feel calmer, more connected, and in control again. If you’re thinking about starting trauma therapy, you’re already taking a brave step. Reach out to us (#) to learn how we can support your healing journey. You don’t have to do this alone—your brain is ready to heal, and we’re here to help.

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Somatic Therapy for Dissociation
Managing emotions, Somatic Exercises

How to Treat Dissociation: Why Somatic Therapy Heals Trauma Best

Written by Addy Sonneland

By Addy Sonneland, AMFT

Dissociation is a common yet often misunderstood psychological response, especially among those who have experienced trauma. At its core, dissociation is a disconnection—a split between the mind and the body, or between thoughts, memories, and one’s sense of identity. For many, it can feel like zoning out, feeling foggy, or even watching oneself from outside the body. Dr. Bessel van Der Kolk describes dissociation as, “a temporary putting aside, not knowing, and not noticing“. While this response can be protective in moments of overwhelm, chronic dissociation can create challenges in daily life, relationships, and overall well-being.

What Are the Symptoms of Dissociation?

  • Feeling disconnected from yourself and your body
  • Feeling disconnected from reality and your surroundings
  • Gaps in memory
  • Time feels like it is moving too fast or too slow
  • Difficulty concentrating
  • Emotional numbness
  • Feeling like the world around you is not real
  • Zoning out for periods of time

What Causes Dissociation?

Dissociation exists on a spectrum. On one end, there are mild forms, like daydreaming or losing track of time while driving. On the other, more severe forms include depersonalization (feeling detached from yourself) and derealization (feeling like the world isn’t real). For trauma survivors, dissociation can become a survival strategy—an unconscious way the nervous system protects itself from pain, fear, or helplessness. Our nervous system can cycle through feeling hyperactive (or “jumpy”) to feeling nothing at all. However, when this coping mechanism persists long after the threat has passed, it can keep people disconnected from their feelings, sensations, and sense of self.

Schedule a Call with Addy This Week

Somatic therapy can help you recover from dissociation. I’m Addy Sonneland, and I’m available in Los Angeles and Pasadena to help you heal through somatic therapy.

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The Role of Somatic Therapy

Somatic therapy offers a pathway out of dissociation by helping individuals reconnect with their bodies. “Somatic” comes from the Greek word soma, meaning body. Unlike talk therapy alone, somatic approaches incorporate body awareness, movement, breath, and sensation as part of the healing process.

4 Somatic Practices to Help Dissociation

Somatic therapy offers practical, body-centered tools to help bridge the gap between mind and body when dissociation takes hold. Here are key practices that gently invite you back into presence:

1. Grounding Exercises

Grounding helps anchor you in the present moment, providing a safe “anchor” when feelings of dissociation start to surface. Examples include:

  • Feeling your feet firmly on the floor and noticing the sensation of contact.
  • Holding a textured object like a smooth stone or fabric and focusing on its texture, temperature, and weight.
  • Naming five things you see, four things you hear, three things you can touch, two things you smell, and one thing you taste (the “5-4-3-2-1” technique)

These exercises reconnect your mind with your immediate environment, interrupting the foggy or detached experience of dissociation by stimulating your senses.

2. Breathwork

Your breath is a powerful tool to regulate your nervous system and reduce feelings of overwhelm that feed dissociation. Techniques such as:

  • Box breathing (inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4, exhale for 4, hold for 4).
  • Slow, deep belly breathing that encourages the parasympathetic nervous system (your “rest and digest” mode) to activate.

By slowing and deepening the breath, you signal safety to your body, helping to calm hyperarousal and ease dissociative symptoms.

3. Body Scans

Body scans encourage you to notice sensations throughout your body without judgment or the need to “fix” anything. This practice builds interoception — the ability to sense internal bodily states — which is often dulled in dissociation. A typical body scan might involve:

  • Slowly directing your attention from your feet to your head, noticing areas of tension, warmth, coolness, or neutrality.
  • Observing any discomfort or pleasant sensations and accepting them as they are.

This mindful connection to your body rebuilds the bridge between mind and body, helping you regain a sense of embodied presence.

4. Movement

Gentle, intentional movement can release trauma held in muscles and restore a sense of safety within your body. Movement can be as simple as:

  • Stretching tight areas, like your neck or shoulders.
  • Walking mindfully, noticing each step and the movement in your legs.
  • Participating in yoga, dance, or tai chi, which combine movement with breath and awareness.

Movement helps dissolve tension and stuck energy, fostering a grounded sense of self and easing dissociative states.

Mindfulness and Safe Touch

Mindfulness cultivates a compassionate awareness of your thoughts, emotions, and sensations as they arise, helping reduce the “auto-pilot” feeling of dissociation. Pairing mindfulness with safe touch—like placing a hand on your heart or gently hugging yourself—can provide comfort and reassurance.

These acts create a feeling of safety and presence, reminding your nervous system that it’s okay to be in the body and experience emotions without danger.

Reconnecting with the Body

Healing dissociation isn’t about forcing presence or pushing through discomfort. It’s about creating a safe container where the body can slowly become a place of connection rather than fear. Somatic therapy helps build this safety over time, often in small, titrated steps.

The process of reconnection might look like:

  • Noticing when you’ve checked out—and gently bringing yourself back.
  • Building tolerance for sensation without judgment.
  • Developing curiosity and compassion toward your body’s responses.
  • Creating new experiences of embodiment.

The Role of Nervous System Regulation in Healing Dissociation

Dissociation often stems from a nervous system overwhelmed by threat and trauma. Somatic therapy works by teaching the body to regulate its own stress responses.

  • Somatic Experiencing (SE): This approach helps you notice sensations related to trauma, allowing the nervous system to complete its natural “reset” without becoming overwhelmed.
  • Titration: Rather than diving into trauma all at once, titration breaks down the experience into manageable parts, helping avoid retraumatization.
  • Resourcing: Developing internal (breath, mindfulness) and external (safe people, places) supports that help you feel grounded and stable.

With time, nervous system regulation lessens the need for dissociation as a defense mechanism and encourages a gentle return to presence.

Why Professional Support Matters for Healing Dissociation

Healing dissociation isn’t something you need to do alone. Working with a therapist who understands trauma and somatic approaches ensures:

  • Safety: Therapists create a safe, non-judgmental space where you can explore difficult feelings at your own pace.
  • Personalized Care: A therapist can tailor somatic practices to your unique needs and monitor your nervous system’s responses.
  • Integration: Professional guidance supports the reintegration of dissociated parts of yourself and helps translate insights into everyday life.
  • Hope and Patience: Healing is a gradual process—having a supportive guide makes all the difference.

Seeking help is a courageous and essential step toward reclaiming your presence and wholeness.

Why Somatic Therapy Works

The body holds our trauma, but it also holds the key to healing. Somatic therapy recognizes that trauma is not just stored in memories or thoughts—it’s embedded in our nervous system, posture, breath, and muscle patterns. By working with the body directly, we can shift these patterns and restore a sense of wholeness.

Somatic therapy doesn’t promise quick fixes, but it does offer profound tools for lasting change. By tuning in to the body, we reclaim agency, resilience, and a deeper sense of self. For many people, the journey out of dissociation involves building the capacity to stay with what’s happening in the moment—sensations, emotions, relationships—without becoming overwhelmed. Somatic therapy is particularly powerful because it works with the very system that dissociation affects: the nervous system.

Can Dissociation be Cured?

Dissociation isn’t a life sentence, but rather a sign that your system did exactly what it needed to survive at the time. While it may not always “disappear” entirely, it can absolutely be softened, managed, and even transformed. Healing from dissociation is not about erasing your past or pretending the disconnection never happened—it’s about learning to be present in your life again, on your own terms.

Over time, with consistent support, people often find that the fog lifts. They feel more real, more present, and more able to engage with the world around them. The freeze begins to thaw. They begin to live, rather than just survive. Healing from dissociation is possible. It may take time, patience, and support—but you are not alone, and you are not stuck. With the right tools, the body can learn safety, and the mind can return to presence.

FAQ About Dissociation

Is dissociation the same as daydreaming?
Not exactly. While daydreaming is a mild, common form of dissociation, clinical dissociation—especially related to trauma—is more intense and often involves disruptions in memory, identity, and perception. It can interfere with daily functioning in ways that go far beyond zoning out or getting lost in thought.

Can dissociation happen without trauma?
Yes. While trauma is a common cause, dissociation can also be triggered by extreme stress, anxiety, sleep deprivation, or other overwhelming experiences. However, persistent or intense dissociation often points to deeper roots that are worth exploring with a therapist.

How do I know if I’m dissociating?
Some signs include feeling “spaced out,” disconnected from your body, numb, or like you’re watching your life from the outside. You may also experience memory gaps, feel emotionally flat, or notice time distortion (example: “Where did the last hour go?”).

Do I have to remember or talk about my trauma to heal?
Not necessarily. Somatic therapy focuses more on how trauma lives in the body now, rather than rehashing details of the past. Many people find relief and progress without ever needing to tell their full story. Healing can happen through presence, sensation, and gentle reconnection—not just words.

A gentle note…

If you’ve experienced dissociation, know that it’s a natural and understandable response to overwhelming circumstances. You’re not broken—you’re surviving. And with the right tools and support, it is possible to feel more grounded, connected, and at home in your body again.

Learn more about Somatic Therapy with Addy

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Trauma therapy in Pasadena exposure is essential
Anxiety, EMDR, Managing emotions, Somatic Exercises

Trauma Thrives in the Dark: Why You Need Exposure Therapy

Written by herecounseling

Trauma hurts. You know the ache of wanting to escape the pain, to silence the memories, or to build walls around the parts of your life that feel too overwhelming to face. It’s only natural to wish for a way to heal without having to relive the hurt—to somehow remove the trauma without ever looking at it again. But here’s the hard truth: healing from trauma requires confronting the pain. It’s not about avoiding or suppressing it; it’s about facing it head-on in a safe, supported way. This process, known as exposure, is the key to reclaiming your life from trauma’s grip.

In this article, we’ll explore why exposure is essential in trauma therapy, backed by the latest research and real-world examples. We’ll also look at why avoidance—though understandable—keeps trauma alive and how therapy can guide you through the process of healing.

“But why should I have to feel worse to feel better?”

When trauma strikes, the instinct to protect yourself is powerful. You might find yourself doing everything possible to avoid the pain—setting rigid boundaries around “toxic” triggers, numbing with substances or distractions, or even approaching therapy with the hope of silencing the hurt without ever truly facing it. These are common defenses, and they make sense. After all, who wouldn’t want to bypass the agony of reliving a traumatic experience? We wish we could “lobotomize” the trauma, excise it like a tumor, or create an impenetrable fortress around it so it never touches us again.

But avoidance, while offering temporary relief, keeps the trauma alive, festering beneath the surface. Let’s dive into some of the most common ways people try to sidestep their pain—and why these strategies, though well-intentioned, often backfire.

Face Trauma with Support—Not Fear

Exposure therapy helps you gently confront what you’ve been avoiding, in a safe and supportive space. Begin healing with an experienced therapist in Los Angeles or Pasadena.

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Common Ways People Avoid Confronting Trauma

1. Boundaries as Avoidance

Boundaries are essential for healthy relationships, but when used to avoid trauma, they can become rigid barriers that limit your life more than they protect it. For example, someone who experienced abuse in a childhood home might refuse to visit their hometown, even if it means missing family gatherings or reconnecting with loved ones.

This avoidance extends beyond physical spaces—someone who survived a workplace assault might quit their job or avoid professional networking events, labeling them “unsafe.” While setting boundaries can feel empowering, overusing them to dodge trauma-related triggers shrinks your world, and doesn’t provide the intended relief. Instead of reclaiming agency, you hand control to the trauma, letting it dictate where you go and what you do, often leading to isolation or missed opportunities.

2. Addiction and Suppression

When trauma’s pain feels unbearable, many turn to substances or behaviors to numb it. Alcohol, drugs, overeating, or compulsive habits like gaming or social media scrolling can become ways to suppress emotions tied to trauma. For instance, a person haunted by memories of a car accident might drink heavily each evening to avoid intrusive thoughts, only to face heightened anxiety when sober. Another might throw themselves into work, filling every hour with tasks to escape the grief of a loss.

These habits offer a temporary escape, but they don’t resolve the trauma—they delay it. Over time, suppression can spiral into addiction, adding new layers of struggle that complicate healing and reinforce the trauma’s hold.

3. Denial

Denial is a defense mechanism where you refuse to acknowledge the trauma or its impact. Someone who endured childhood neglect might say, “My parents were busy—it didn’t affect me,” despite struggling with chronic distrust or low self-worth. A survivor of a natural disaster might insist, “I’m fine; I got through it,” while battling unexplained panic attacks. Denial feels like a way to stay strong, but it’s a fragile shield.

By burying the trauma, you allow it to manifest indirectly—through irritability, difficulty connecting with others, or even physical symptoms like insomnia. This avoidance prevents you from processing the experience, keeping the pain alive beneath a veneer of “everything’s okay.”

4. Intellectualization

Intellectualization involves focusing on the logical or factual aspects of trauma to avoid its emotional weight. A person who survived a violent incident might research crime statistics obsessively, noting, “The odds of it happening again are low,” without ever addressing the fear that lingers. Another might describe their trauma in detached terms, like a case study—“It was an event that disrupted my routine”—to sidestep the grief or anger it evokes.

This mental distance can feel like control, but it’s a form of avoidance. By staying in the realm of analysis, you bypass the emotional processing needed for healing, leaving the trauma’s deeper impact untouched.

5. Approaching Therapy as a Silencer

Even therapy can become a tool for avoidance if approached with the wrong expectations. Some people enter treatment hoping for a quick fix—a technique or medication to erase the pain without engaging with it. For example, a client might focus solely on symptom relief, like stopping nightmares, without exploring the memories behind them. Others might seek therapy to “move on” without confronting the trauma, expecting the therapist to magically remove it.

This mindset treats therapy as a way to silence distress rather than a space to process it. While symptom management is important, true healing requires facing the pain, not bypassing it, which can be a challenging but necessary shift in perspective.

These avoidance tactics are survival strategies, born from a need to feel safe. But they’re short-term fixes that prolong trauma’s power, keeping you stuck in a cycle of fear, numbness, or disconnection.

Research Supports it: Exposure is Essential for Healing

Healing from trauma isn’t about forgetting or suppressing—it’s about integrating the experience so it no longer controls you. Exposure therapy, a cornerstone of trauma treatment, involves gradually and safely confronting the memories, emotions, or situations that trigger distress. It’s not about reliving the trauma recklessly; it’s about processing it in a controlled, therapeutic setting with support. Research underscores why this approach is critical for lasting recovery.

What the Science Says

A 2024 study in JAMA Psychiatry examined virtual reality exposure therapy (VRET) combined with transcranial direct current stimulation (tDCS) for military veterans with PTSD. Participants engaged with simulated trauma-related scenarios, like combat zones, in a safe environment. The study found a significant reduction in symptoms—over 50%—with benefits persisting a month after treatment (JAMA Psychiatry Article). This shows that controlled exposure can desensitize the brain’s fear response, making traumatic memories less overwhelming.

Similarly, a 2024 Heliyon review of trauma treatment models emphasized that exposure is the backbone of effective therapy. The authors argued that avoiding exposure oversimplifies trauma’s emotional complexity, citing examples like a refugee whose panic attacks lessened after guided exposure to memories of displacement (Heliyon Review).

All therapy is exposure therapy

Essentially, all therapy is exposure therapy to some degree. The healing power of any therapeutic approach lies in its ability to create a safe space where you can revisit the experiences that frighten you most. Whether it’s talking through a memory in talk therapy, processing emotions in EMDR, or reflecting on past pain in psychodynamic work, therapy invites you to face what you’ve avoided.

This controlled re-engagement helps you reclaim power over your story, transforming fear into understanding. By approaching pain with support, therapy ensures you’re not overwhelmed, making exposure the universal thread that weaves healing across all modalities.

Exposure is how we learn resilience and maturity

Exposure isn’t just a therapy tool—it’s how we learn resilience. Take a child afraid of the dark: they might start with every light on, terrified of shadows. A parent introduces a nightlight, then dims it over weeks, exposing the child to increasing darkness. Eventually, the child sleeps comfortably without fear. This gradual process mirrors trauma therapy, where small, supported steps build strength to face what once felt impossible.

How Exposure Rewires the Brain

When you avoid trauma triggers, your brain interprets them as ongoing threats, keeping your nervous system in survival mode. Exposure therapy disrupts this cycle. By facing the trauma in manageable doses—through talking, imagining, or controlled scenarios—you teach your brain that the danger is past. This reduces the intensity of fear responses and helps integrate fragmented memories, allowing you to move forward with less emotional weight.

Why Avoidance Keeps Trauma Alive

Avoidance might feel like protection, but it’s a trap. Sidestepping trauma-related thoughts or feelings signals to your brain that they’re still dangerous, reinforcing a cycle of distress. Over time, this can lead to:

  • Increased Anxiety: Avoiding places tied to trauma, like a crowded mall after an assault, can make even the idea of going there trigger panic.
  • Emotional Numbness: Suppressing grief might dull joy, leaving you disconnected from loved ones.
  • Physical Symptoms: Unprocessed trauma can manifest as tension headaches or fatigue, lingering until the pain is faced.

Exposure, by contrast, rewires this response. It’s like teaching a child to swim by starting in shallow water—they learn the water isn’t a threat. In therapy, you learn the trauma isn’t your present, freeing you from its grip.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)

Why is exposure important in trauma therapy?

Exposure helps process traumatic memories, reducing their emotional hold. Avoiding them strengthens trauma’s grip, while facing it safely with a therapist rewires fear responses, fostering lasting healing.

What are the benefits of exposure in trauma therapy?

  • Reduces Fear: Lowers anxiety tied to triggers.
  • Integrates Memories: Makes fragmented experiences feel whole.
  • Boosts Resilience: Builds confidence in handling distress.
  • Eases Physical Pain: Relieves trauma’s bodily toll.

How does exposure work in trauma therapy?

It’s a gradual process—talking about the trauma, imagining it, or using guided techniques—at a pace you can handle, always supported by a professional to ensure safety.

The Path to Healing: Facing Pain with Support

Confronting trauma is tough, but it’s the road to freedom. Therapy—whether talk-based or EMDR—offers a safe space to face your pain without being overwhelmed. You don’t have to do it alone. With support, you can transform that raw wound into a source of strength, rewriting your story with hope.

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Key Citations

APA Trauma Information Page

JAMA Psychiatry Article on VR and tDCS for PTSD

Heliyon Review on Advancing Trauma Studies

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Anxiety, EMDR, Managing emotions, Podcast, Somatic Exercises

[VIDEO] How EMDR Therapy Works To Heal Generational Wounds

Written by herecounseling

Trauma has a way of embedding itself not just in our own lives but also in the stories and legacies passed down through generations. The idea of confronting this pain can feel overwhelming—our instinct is to avoid the discomfort, to stay within the safety of what we know. Yet, avoiding trauma doesn’t make it disappear; it allows it to linger, affecting us and those who come after us. EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) offers a structured, safe way to face these buried wounds with the support of a therapist, providing a path to personal healing and the chance to break the cycle of generational trauma.

In this article, we’ll explore why confronting trauma is so challenging, how EMDR helps us overcome that challenge, and the profound benefits it offers—not just for ourselves but for our larger family stories.

What is EMDR?

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing

EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, a therapy initially developed by Francine Shapiro in the 1980s. Shapiro stumbled upon its foundations by accident: while walking and feeling distressed, she noticed her eyes moving left to right and felt a sudden relief. This observation sparked decades of research, transforming EMDR into an evidence-based treatment, particularly effective for PTSD, but also valuable for anxiety, depression, and even sports performance.

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The EMDR Process: A Structured Path to Healing Trauma

EMDR is more than just eye movements—it’s a comprehensive therapy built on trust, preparation, and a clear protocol to process trauma safely.

Building Safety and Skills

The journey begins with one to three sessions focused on establishing a relationship with the therapist and equipping the client with coping tools. Dana Carretta-Stein, a licensed therapist and EMDR specialist, emphasizes this preparation: “My job is to make you uncomfortable because if we don’t feel something, we can’t heal it.” These initial steps ensure clients feel secure and ready to face their pain.

Processing with Bilateral Stimulation

The core of EMDR involves bilateral stimulation—such as following a light bar with the eyes, hearing alternating sounds, or feeling vibrations in the hands—while recalling traumatic memories. This dual attention helps the brain reprocess the experience, reducing its emotional charge. Clients might notice a rise in discomfort followed by a release, often marked by a sigh or a shift in posture, signaling healing in action.

“But I don’t want to deal with my trauma”

The Instinct to Avoid Discomfort

Confronting trauma is hard because it hurts. “A comfort zone is a beautiful thing, but nothing ever grows there,” Carretta-Stein notes. Our natural response is to push away pain, fearing it will overwhelm us. Many start therapy with hope but hesitate when subconscious barriers emerge, worried that facing the trauma will make things worse before they get better.

Yet Avoidance has a Hidden Cost

Avoidance offers temporary relief, but it perpetuates the problem. Unresolved trauma can manifest as anxiety, depression, or physical symptoms, and it doesn’t stop with us—it can ripple through generations. EMDR addresses this by providing a structured environment where discomfort is expected and managed, allowing clients to move through it rather than around it.

What is Generational Trauma?

The Legacy of Pain Passed Down

Generational trauma is the idea that trauma’s effects—emotional, behavioral, or even genetic—can be transmitted across family lines. Research suggests that experiences can alter gene expression, meaning the pain of a grandparent might echo in their descendants. Carretta-Stein shares a personal example: during her pregnancy, she experienced a visceral panic, later tracing it to a family history of grief and loss that spanned generations.

EMDR can be a Tool for Healing Generational Trauma

Facing Inherited Pain with Support

EMDR excels at addressing generational trauma by allowing individuals to process not just their own experiences but the emotional baggage handed down to them. With a therapist’s guidance, clients can confront these memories in a safe space, using bilateral stimulation to reprocess and release the pain. “When you work through stuff, you don’t just heal yourself, you heal past generations and future ones,” Carretta-Stein explains.

The Benefits of EMDR Therapy

Personal Relief and Resilience

EMDR brings tangible relief: reduced symptoms, deeper insights, and a sense of letting go. Clients often feel lighter, as if a burden has lifted. “People start to heal the moment they feel heard,” Carretta-Stein says, highlighting the power of being seen and understood in therapy.

Healing Trauma is a Gift to Family and Beyond

The impact extends beyond the individual. By confronting and overcoming trauma, we prevent it from being passed on, fostering healthier relationships and communities. This dual benefit—personal healing and a transformed legacy—makes EMDR a powerful tool for those willing to face the discomfort.

Confronting trauma, especially one woven into your family’s history, takes courage. The discomfort is real, but so is the potential for transformation. EMDR provides a structured, relational approach to make this possible, ensuring you’re not alone on the journey. If you’re ready to explore this path, consider reaching out to a trained therapist. For more insight, Carretta-Stein’s EMDR Therapy Progress Journal, available on Amazon or DanaCorretta.com, offers a helpful starting point.

Trauma isolates us, but healing reconnects us—to ourselves, our past, and our future. With EMDR, you can turn pain into possibility, for you and the generations that follow.

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[VIDEO] Why Trauma Effects Some People and Not Others: How to Give Yourself The Best Chance at Recovery with Trauma Therapy

Written by herecounseling

What is trauma and how is it different from PTSD?

Trauma is a deeply distressing experience that can leave lasting scars on the mind and body. It’s like a storm that upends your world, leaving you to pick up the pieces. For many, the aftermath of trauma is a daily battle, filled with emotional turbulence, physical exhaustion, and a sense of disconnection from the life they once knew. If you’ve ever wondered, what is trauma and how is it different from PTSD?, you’re not alone. Understanding the distinction is key to recognizing when to seek help and how to begin the healing process.

In this article, we’ll explore the nature of trauma, its most common symptoms, and how it impacts daily life. We’ll use an analogy of a dam overflowing with water to explain how trauma occurs and why some people develop PTSD while others do not. We’ll also delve into the research-backed differences between those who engage in trauma therapy and those who do not, highlighting the importance of social support in recovery. For those seeking trauma therapy in Pasadena or elsewhere, this guide will provide valuable insights into the healing journey.

  1. What is trauma?
  2. What are the common symptoms of trauma?
  3. How trauma is like a dam
  4. The impact of trauma therapy
  5. Trauma therapy options

What Does Trauma Feel Like? Common Symptoms and Their Impact

Trauma can manifest in a variety of ways, often leaving survivors feeling like they’re navigating a minefield of emotional and physical triggers. The symptoms can be overwhelming, but understanding them is the first step toward reclaiming control. Here are some of the most common symptoms of trauma and how they impact a person’s life:

1. Flashbacks

These are vivid, involuntary memories of the traumatic event. A flashback can feel like you’re reliving the moment, causing intense fear or panic. For example, a veteran might hear a car backfire and suddenly feel as though they’re back on the battlefield. This can disrupt daily routines, making it hard to focus on work or enjoy time with loved ones.

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2. Nightmares

Trauma often invades sleep, leading to recurring nightmares that disrupt rest and heighten anxiety. This can result in chronic fatigue and a sense of dread around bedtime, leaving survivors exhausted and less equipped to handle daily challenges.

3. Anxiety and Hypervigilance

Survivors may feel constantly on edge, scanning their environment for potential threats. This state of hyperarousal can make it difficult to relax, concentrate, or engage in everyday activities like socializing or driving, turning ordinary moments into sources of stress.

4. Depression

Trauma can lead to feelings of hopelessness, guilt, or numbness. Survivors might withdraw from social interactions, lose interest in hobbies, or struggle with a pervasive sense of sadness, which can strain relationships and diminish their quality of life.

5. Avoidance

Many trauma survivors avoid places, people, or situations that remind them of the event. While this can provide temporary relief, it often limits their ability to live fully—perhaps avoiding a favorite park or skipping family gatherings—leading to isolation and missed opportunities.

6. Physical Symptoms

Trauma doesn’t just affect the mind—it can also cause headaches, muscle tension, gastrointestinal issues, and a weakened immune system. These physical manifestations can make it harder to stay healthy or perform at work, adding another layer of struggle. This is because emotions like chronic anxiety are directly tied to our bodily state. When we hold that state (such as high muscle tension associated with anxiety) it changes the long-term structure of our bodies.

Each of these symptoms can make daily life feel like an uphill battle. Simple tasks, like going to work or socializing, may become daunting. Relationships can suffer as survivors struggle to connect with others while managing their internal turmoil. Over time, the weight of these symptoms can feel unbearable. Many people who have experienced any of these symptoms rightly wonder why their bodies respond this way and if it will ever change.

Trauma therapy allostatic load PTSD

The Overflowing Dam: Defining Trauma

Why do some people experience trauma and not others, even following the same painful experience? To better understand how trauma happens, imagine a dam holding back a reservoir of water. The dam represents your coping mechanisms, social support, and emotional security—everything that helps you manage stress and return to a state of safety. The water symbolizes the stressors in your life, whether they’re everyday challenges or major life events.

Under normal circumstances, the dam holds strong. The water (stress) flows in, but your coping strategies and support systems contain it, preventing it from overwhelming you. However, when a stressor is too intense or prolonged—such as a traumatic event—the water surges, and the dam can no longer hold it back. The water spills over, flooding the surrounding area. This overflow is what we call trauma.

This concept is called allostatic load, which refers to the cumulative wear and tear on the body and mind when stress exceeds our ability to cope.

Then why do some have a trauma response and others don’t?

When the load becomes too great, our systems are overwhelmed, leading to trauma. Trauma, then, is not just about the event itself but about how it overwhelms our capacity to process and integrate the experience. It’s the point at which our emotional and psychological defenses are breached, leaving us feeling helpless, vulnerable, and unsafe.

In this way, trauma has to do with both the amount of “water” and the capacity of the “dam”. When a person has adequate coping skills, social supports, and emotional security (a large dam), they may recover well even from a highly stressful situation (heavy rainfall). When a person is unsupported, however, even the smallest amount of rain will be overwhelming. How a person experiences a traumatic event has to do with both the strength of internal resources and the strength of the stressor.

Trauma vs. PTSD: Key Differences

While trauma refers to the overwhelming experience and its immediate aftermath, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is a specific mental health condition that can develop in some individuals after trauma. Not everyone who experiences trauma will develop PTSD, but for those who do, the symptoms are more persistent and debilitating.

PTSD is characterized by four main clusters of symptoms:

  • Intrusive memories: Flashbacks, nightmares, or distressing thoughts about the trauma that invade daily life.
  • Avoidance: Steering clear of reminders of the trauma, such as specific locations or conversations, which can shrink a person’s world.
  • Negative changes in mood and thinking: Feelings of hopelessness, detachment, or distorted beliefs about oneself or others that darken one’s outlook.
  • Hyperarousal: Being easily startled, feeling tense, or having difficulty sleeping, keeping the body and mind in a constant state of alert.

Using our dam analogy, if trauma is the moment the dam overflows, PTSD is like the floodwaters that never fully recede. The emotional and psychological impact lingers, and the person remains in a state of heightened distress, unable to return to their pre-trauma baseline. PTSD is a clinical diagnosis, requiring a specific set of symptoms lasting for more than a month, whereas trauma encompasses the broader initial response to an overwhelming event, whether or not it leads to PTSD.

Social Support Makes the Difference in Post-Trauma Recovery

Research consistently shows that social support plays a critical role in whether someone develops PTSD after trauma and how well they recover. Strong social networks can act as a buffer, helping individuals process their experiences and regain a sense of safety. Think of social support as reinforcements for the dam—friends, family, and community members who help shore up your emotional defenses.

Studies have found that:

  • Individuals with high levels of social support are less likely to develop PTSD and tend to recover more quickly. For example, a study in the Journal of Traumatic Stress showed that survivors of natural disasters with strong community ties had lower PTSD rates.
  • Conversely, a lack of support can worsen symptoms and prolong recovery, leaving survivors feeling isolated and more vulnerable to the lingering effects of trauma.

This highlights the importance of leaning on trusted loved ones during the healing process. Social support provides emotional validation, practical help, and a sense of belonging—all essential for rebuilding after the dam has been breached.

Trauma Therapy: Research-Backed Benefits

While social support is vital, many trauma survivors benefit from professional intervention, particularly trauma therapy. Evidence-based treatments like Somatic therapy and Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) have been shown to help survivors process their experiences, reduce symptoms, and regain control over their lives.

Research highlights clear differences between those who participate in trauma therapy and those who do not:

  • Symptom Reduction: Therapy participants often see a significant decrease in PTSD symptoms, such as flashbacks and anxiety, allowing them to reclaim parts of their lives lost to trauma.
  • Improved Coping Skills: Therapy provides tools to manage triggers and rebuild emotional resilience, empowering survivors to face challenges with greater confidence.
  • Enhanced Quality of Life: Those who engage in therapy report better relationships, improved work performance, and a greater sense of well-being compared to those who don’t seek help.

A meta-analysis in Clinical Psychology Review found that trauma-focused therapies like Somatic Therapy and EMDR are highly effective. Many participants no longer meeting PTSD criteria after treatment. For those in Pasadena or nearby, seeking trauma therapy in Pasadena can be a crucial step toward healing.

Option 1: Somatic Therapy for Trauma: Healing Through the Body

What is Somatic Therapy?

Somatic therapy is built on the principle that trauma doesn’t just affect the mind—it also gets stored in the body. This approach recognizes the deep connection between physical sensations and emotional experiences, suggesting that unresolved trauma can manifest as tension, pain, or other bodily symptoms. By focusing on these physical cues, somatic therapy aims to help individuals process and release trapped traumatic energy, fostering a sense of safety and wholeness.

Research-Backed Benefits of Somatic Therapy

Studies have demonstrated the effectiveness of somatic therapy for trauma recovery. For instance, research by Levine (2010) on somatic experiencing therapy found it significantly reduced PTSD symptoms in participants. A meta-analysis by van der Kolk et al. (2014) showed that body-oriented therapies can alleviate trauma-related distress, particularly for those who find traditional talk therapy challenging. These findings highlight somatic therapy’s ability to address both the emotional and physical aftermath of trauma.

What to Expect in Somatic Sessions

In a somatic therapy session, you’ll work with a trained therapist to tune into your body’s signals. You might start with a body scan, where you focus on different areas of your body to notice sensations like tightness or discomfort. The therapist may guide you through gentle movements or breathing exercises to release stored tension. Mindfulness practices are also common, helping you stay present and regulate your nervous system. The pace is gentle and tailored to your comfort, with the goal of rebuilding trust in your body’s natural responses.

Option 2: EMDR Therapy for Trauma: Reprocessing Painful Memories

What is EMDR Therapy?

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is a structured psychotherapy designed to help people process traumatic memories that feel “stuck.” Developed by Francine Shapiro in the late 1980s, EMDR uses bilateral stimulation—like guided eye movements or alternating taps—to activate the brain’s ability to reprocess distressing memories. This stimulation mimics the brain’s natural healing during REM sleep, reducing the emotional intensity of the trauma over time.

Research-Backed Benefits of EMDR Therapy

EMDR is widely recognized as an effective trauma treatment, backed by robust research. The American Psychological Association endorses it as a top choice for PTSD, and a meta-analysis by Bisson et al. (2013) found it matches cognitive-behavioral therapy in reducing symptoms—sometimes working faster. Studies suggest EMDR can lessen the grip of flashbacks and anxiety, offering relief in fewer sessions for some, making it a powerful option for trauma survivors.

What to Expect in EMDR Sessions

An EMDR session typically lasts 60-90 minutes and follows a clear structure. You’ll begin by identifying a specific traumatic memory and the negative beliefs tied to it (e.g., “I’m powerless”). Then, while holding that memory in mind, you’ll engage in bilateral stimulation—perhaps following your therapist’s finger with your eyes or listening to alternating tones. This process repeats in short sets until the memory feels less overwhelming. Your therapist will check in regularly, ensuring you feel supported. Over multiple sessions, EMDR aims to transform how you experience that memory, easing its emotional weight.

Rebuilding After the Storm

Trauma is a profound and often life-altering experience, but it doesn’t have to define your future. By understanding the nature of trauma, recognizing its symptoms, and seeking the right support—whether through social networks or professional therapy—you can begin to rebuild your emotional dam and reclaim your life.

Healing is not a linear process, and it’s okay to ask for help along the way. Whether you’re grappling with the immediate aftermath of trauma or the long-term effects of PTSD, recovery is possible. With the right tools and support, you can weather the storm and emerge stronger on the other side.

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EMDR Knee Tapping: Your Ultimate Guide to Healing Trauma

Written by John Allan Whitacre

An EMDR tapping exercise with a trained EMDR therapist helps address relational trauma: painful experiences like abuse, neglect, or betrayal from someone close. You might struggle with trusting others, feel unworthy of love, or find intimacy challenging. These effects can linger, disrupting your relationships and sense of self.

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy offers a way to process these memories, and a specific technique, Knee Tapping, uses alternating taps on the knees to help your brain rewire its response to trauma. If you’re considering EMDR tapping to heal from relational trauma, this guide will walk you through the challenges, a home exercise, and what to expect in therapy.

Understanding the Challenges of EMDR Tapping for Relational Trauma

Starting EMDR tapping can feel intimidating, especially when relational trauma has shaped your worldview. Here are the main pain points you might encounter:

  • Difficulty Trusting Others: After being hurt by someone close, opening up to a therapist can feel risky. You might wonder if they’ll truly understand or support you.
  • Fear of Revisiting Painful Memories: The idea of facing those moments again might make you hesitate. What if the pain feels unbearable?
  • Emotional Overwhelm: Processing trauma can stir up intense feelings—anger, sadness, or fear—that might seem hard to control.
  • Shame and Self-Blame: Relational trauma often leaves you questioning your worth or blaming yourself for what happened, making it tough to feel deserving of healing.
  • Wanting Quick Relief: You might crave fast results, but healing is a gradual journey, which can feel frustrating.

These struggles are normal, and Knee Tapping EMDR is designed to address them gently. With a skilled therapist, you’ll process trauma at a pace that feels safe, reducing its hold over time.

A Simple EMDR Tapping Exercise for Home Practice

While professional guidance is key for EMDR therapy, you can try a simplified EMDR tapping exercise at home to build calm and resilience. This technique, inspired by bilateral stimulation, isn’t a replacement for therapy but can support you between sessions.

Here’s how to do it:

  1. Settle In: Find a quiet, comfortable spot to sit where you won’t be disturbed.
  2. Choose a Positive Resource: Think of something that makes you feel safe and calm—a peaceful place (like a beach), a supportive person, or a happy memory.
  3. Start Tapping: Gently tap your knees alternately—left, right, left, right—at a slow, steady rhythm (about one tap per second).
  4. Focus: As you tap, picture your positive resource. Notice the details—sights, sounds, feelings—and let them sink in.
  5. Pause and Reflect: After 2-3 minutes, stop tapping, take a deep breath, and check in with yourself. How do you feel?
  6. Check-in: If you feel overwhelmed, repeat steps 2-5 to help cool down and return to safety.

This Knee Tapping EMDR exercise helps your brain shift focus to a soothing state. If negative thoughts creep in, gently guide your mind back to your resource. Use it as a tool to feel grounded, not as a fix for deep trauma—that’s where therapy comes in.

It is important to note that you should not try to reprocess a traumatic event without the presence of a trained EMDR therapist who specializes in EMDR tapping. Trying to process traumatic memories through tapping without the presence of a clinician could lead to symptomatic behaviors like disassociation and re-traumatization.

What to Expect in EMDR Therapy: Preparation and Sessions

EMDR therapy is a structured process that starts with preparation and moves into active trauma processing. Here’s what you can expect:

1. Preparation Phase (Around 4 Sessions)

The first few sessions—typically around four—focus on laying a strong foundation:

  • Building Trust: Your therapist will get to know you, creating a safe space. This is crucial if relational trauma makes trust hard.
  • Learning the Process: They’ll explain how EMDR tapping works and what to expect, answering any questions.
  • Developing Coping Skills: You’ll learn techniques like deep breathing or visualization to manage distress during and after sessions.
  • Planning: Together, you’ll identify the traumatic memories you want to target, ensuring you’re ready to process them.

This phase might take longer if trust or safety needs more time to establish, which is common with relational trauma.

2. EMDR Sessions

Once prepared, you’ll begin the core EMDR work:

  • Targeting a Memory: You’ll focus on a specific relational trauma memory—say, a moment of betrayal—recalling how it felt emotionally and physically.
  • Bilateral Stimulation: Your therapist will guide you through Knee Tapping EMDR, tapping your knees alternately (or using another method like eye movements) while you hold the memory in mind.
  • Processing: As you tap, your brain starts reprocessing the memory. You might notice the emotions soften or new insights emerge.
  • Checking In: Sessions last 60-90 minutes, and your therapist will ensure you feel stable before ending, using coping skills if needed.

You might need several sessions per memory, depending on its intensity. Emotions can surface—sadness, relief, even exhaustion—but your therapist will support you, keeping the process manageable.

If relational trauma has left you feeling stuck, Knee Tapping EMDR could be a path to freedom. The home exercise offers a taste of calm, but true healing comes from working with a trained therapist. The journey might feel daunting—trusting again, facing memories, riding emotional waves—but it’s worth it. You’re not alone, and recovery is within reach. Reach out to an EMDR professional to explore how EMDR tapping can help you reclaim your life and relationships.

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5 Ways Trauma Rewires Your Brain for Survival

Written by McKenzie Laird

The human brain is remarkably adaptive, especially in response to adversity. When individuals experience neglect, emotional or verbal abuse, sexual abuse, or witness family violence—particularly in early childhood—their brains undergo survival-based changes to help them navigate a dangerous world. These adaptations are, in many ways, a reflection of the brain’s resilience. However, when trauma survivors move into safer environments, they often struggle deactivating the survival mechanisms they developed. Understanding how the brain adapts to trauma can be the first step in healing and reclaiming a sense of safety.

Imagine a child growing up in a confusing home where every interaction holds the potential for emotional or physical harm. This child’s brain learns to adapt for survival. Now, picture this child as an adult now living somewhere safe. Logically, they know they’re no longer in danger, but their brain hasn’t fully caught up yet. Instead, it continues to operate in survival mode, shaping the way they think, feel, and connect with others—even long into adulthood.

Much like animals in the wild, who develop specific survival tactics in response to threats, trauma survivors exhibit similar resilience. Nature documentaries often showcase how animals adapt to harsh environments—whether it’s a gazelle learning to anticipate predators or a bear cub developing defensive skills after early hardships. While these adaptations serve them well in the wild, if these animals were relocated to a protected sanctuary, they might initially struggle adjusting to the lack of danger. Similarly, trauma survivors may find it difficult to shift from survival mode to a state of peace and trust, even when they are safe.

Here are five ways your brain changes in response to trauma:

1. In Trauma, Hypervigilance Becomes the Norm

After experiencing prolonged danger, your brain becomes hyper-aware of potential threats. The amygdala, the part of the brain responsible for detecting danger, becomes overactive, leading to heightened anxiety and an exaggerated startle response. This makes it difficult to relax, even in safe environments, as your brain continuously scans for danger.

In the animal kingdom, prey animals like deer or rabbits exhibit similar hypervigilance. Their finely tuned senses help them detect danger, but when placed in a controlled environment where threats are minimal, they may still exhibit skittish behavior until they learn to feel safe.

How This Affects Relationships:

  • You may constantly anticipate conflict, even in peaceful relationships.
  • Small misunderstandings may feel like major threats, leading to overreactions.
  • You might struggle to believe your partner’s reassurances, fearing hidden dangers.

2. Emotional Regulation Becomes Difficult when Traumatized

Trauma impacts the prefrontal cortex, the area of the brain responsible for impulse control and emotional regulation. When this region is impaired, it results in heightened emotional reactivity, difficulty managing stress, and challenges in expressing emotions in a healthy way. You may find yourself easily overwhelmed or reacting to situations that seem minor to others.

Similarly, animals that have faced repeated stress, such as rescued shelter dogs, often struggle with emotional regulation. They may lash out or retreat, not because they are naturally aggressive, but because their past experiences have wired their brains to expect harm.

How This Affects Relationships:

  • You might experience sudden mood swings, feeling fine one moment and deeply upset the next.
  • Expressing emotions may feel overwhelming, leading to either emotional outbursts or complete withdrawal.
  • Your partner may struggle to understand why small triggers cause big reactions.

3. Trust Issues Become Deeply Ingrained through Trauma

Because early trauma often involves betrayal or harm from caregivers, the brain learns that people—even those who claim to love you—may not be completely safe. The brain wires itself to be cautious in relationships, leading to difficulties in trusting others, fear of vulnerability, and challenges in forming healthy attachments.

In nature, animals that have been hunted or mistreated by humans often remain wary, even when approached with kindness. A rescued horse that has been abused may take years to learn to trust its new caretaker, despite being in a loving home. The same applies to trauma survivors—learning to trust again takes time and patience.

How This Affects Relationships:

  • You may struggle to believe that your partner’s love is genuine or lasting.
  • Opening up emotionally may feel impossible, leading to distance in relationships.
  • Fear of abandonment might cause you to push people away before they have a chance to leave.

4. Survival Mode of Trauma Disrupts Logical Thinking

The hippocampus, a brain region involved in memory and learning, is affected by trauma, making it difficult to differentiate past from present. This means that even in a safe environment, your brain may react as if the trauma is happening all over again. This can lead to difficulty making decisions, chronic stress, and difficulty retaining positive experiences.

Consider a wild animal repeatedly exposed to danger—its brain remains wired to react instinctively rather than logically. A fox that has barely survived multiple predator encounters may struggle to distinguish a genuine threat from a harmless situation. Likewise, trauma survivors often operate from a protective than connective place.

How This Affects Relationships:

  • You may misinterpret neutral comments or actions as personal attacks.
  • It can be difficult to see your partner’s intentions clearly, leading to misunderstandings.
  • Conflict resolution may feel impossible, as your brain automatically assumes the worst.

5. Trauma Distorts Self-Perception

When trauma happens early in life, particularly at the hands of caregivers, the brain may internalize the experience as a reflection of self-worth. This can result in deep-seated feelings of shame, guilt, or unworthiness. Survivors may develop negative self-talk, struggle with self-compassion, and feel as though they are fundamentally broken.

A perfect example of this can be seen in elephants that have been held in captivity. Even when freed, some remain chained mentally, believing they are still confined. Similarly, trauma survivors may feel stuck in limiting beliefs about themselves, even when those beliefs are no longer valid.

How This Affects Relationships

  • You may feel unworthy of love, leading to self-sabotage in relationships.
  • Accepting compliments or kindness from others may feel uncomfortable or even suspicious.
  • A deep fear of rejection may cause you to settle for unhealthy relationships or avoid intimacy altogether.

Reach Out and Move Toward Healing

The good news is that the brain remains plastic—meaning it can change and heal even after years of trauma-induced adaptations. Therapy, mindfulness, and trauma-informed practices can help retrain the brain to recognize safety, regulate emotions, and develop healthier relational patterns.

Like rehabilitated wildlife that learns to thrive in a protected environment, trauma survivors can relearn what it means to be safe, loved, and emotionally free. If you recognize these trauma responses in yourself, know that you are not alone. Your brain adapted to survive, but now, you deserve to heal. With the right support, you can create new neural pathways that foster a sense of safety, trust, and emotional balance in your life.

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How to Best Choose a Therapist: 3 Essential Tips to Ensure the Right Fit for Success

Written by herecounseling

Choosing the right therapist can feel overwhelming, especially when you’re already facing personal challenges. However, knowing how to choose a therapist and understanding what to look for in a therapist can simplify the process. Drawing from expert insights by Dr. Connor McClenahan, director of Here Counseling, this guide highlights three essential qualities—availability, authenticity, and helpfulness—to help you find a therapist who’s the perfect fit for your needs. Let’s explore these qualities and practical tips to ensure your therapy journey is supportive and effective.

What to Look for in a Therapist:

Your therapist should be…

1. Available

When figuring out how to choose a therapist, availability is a top priority. You need someone who’s accessible when you need them most. Dr. McClenahan emphasizes this, saying, “You really want to know that when you pick up the phone, somebody is going to respond to you.” A therapist who’s available ensures you’re not left waiting during critical moments.

  • Why it matters: Delays in scheduling or responses can increase feelings of frustration or isolation. A therapist who prioritizes availability shows they value your time and mental well-being.
  • How to spot it: Look for therapists who reply promptly to inquiries and offer appointments within a reasonable timeframe. For instance, Here Counseling aims to respond within a day or two and schedule sessions within a week.

Choosing a therapist who’s available means you’ll feel supported from the start, making it easier to begin your healing process.

2. Real

Another critical aspect of what to look for in a therapist is authenticity. You want someone genuine—someone who connects with you on a human level. Dr. McClenahan notes that clients need “somebody who’s real,” highlighting the importance of a therapist’s ability to empathize and relate.

  • Why it matters: Studies show that the “goodness of fit” between you and your therapist strongly predicts therapy’s success. An authentic therapist builds trust, creating a safe space for you to share openly.
  • How to spot it: Seek therapists who are approachable and transparent. Many, like those at Here Counseling, offer profiles with blog posts or videos to help you gauge their personality before meeting.

An authentic therapist fosters a meaningful connection, which is vital when deciding how to choose a therapist you can rely on.

3. Helpful

When considering what to look for in a therapist, helpfulness is non-negotiable. Therapy isn’t just about talking—it’s about growth. Dr. McClenahan explains that a helpful therapist knows “what it takes to actually heal and grow in a therapy room,” using proven methods to guide you forward.

  • Why it matters: A helpful therapist goes beyond listening; they equip you with tools to tackle challenges like anxiety or relationship struggles. This focus on results makes therapy worthwhile.
  • How to spot it: Look for therapists trained in evidence-based approaches, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) or psychoanalysis. At Here Counseling, therapists tailor these methods to your unique goals.

Choosing a therapist who prioritizes helpfulness ensures your sessions lead to real, lasting progress.

Practical Tips for How to Choose a Therapist

Beyond these core qualities, here are some actionable steps to refine your search for the right therapist:

  • Check credentials: Confirm the therapist is licensed and experienced in areas relevant to your needs, like depression or trauma.
  • Schedule a consultation: Many therapists offer an initial chat to assess fit. Use this to ask questions and test your comfort level.
  • Read reviews: Client feedback or recommendations from friends can reveal a therapist’s strengths and style.

These steps can boost your confidence in finding a therapist who aligns with what to look for in a therapist for your situation.

Why Here Counseling Simplifies Choosing a Therapist

Wondering how to choose a therapist without the guesswork? Here Counseling makes it easier. They provide a care coordinator to match you with a therapist based on your needs, plus detailed therapist profiles with videos and posts to preview their approach. This process reflects their commitment to availability, authenticity, and helpfulness—everything you should look for in a therapist.

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Managing emotions, Neurology, Podcast

[VIDEO] Motivation 101: How to Rewire Your Brain to Get Things Done

Written by Connor McClenahan

Have you ever found yourself staring at a to-do list, feeling completely overwhelmed and unable to start even the simplest task? Maybe your house is a mess, your inbox is overflowing, or that big project is looming like a dark cloud. You’re not alone. Many of us struggle with motivation, especially when life feels like a high-wire act with no safety net.

But what if I told you that understanding your brain’s natural mechanisms could help you regain your drive and accomplish your goals? In this podcast episode, we dive into the psychology of motivation, why we lose it, and how to get it back—without beating yourself up in the process.

The Overwhelm Trap: Why Motivation Slips Away

Picture this: You’re trying to walk a high wire, 200 feet in the air, with no safety net below. Every step feels like a life-or-death decision, and the fear of falling keeps you frozen in place. This is what happens in your brain when you’re overwhelmed. Your limbic system—the emotional center responsible for sensing safety and danger—gets flooded with too many signals. Deadlines, chores, expectations—they all pile up, screaming “threat!” until you shut down.

This overwhelm often triggers a depressive spiral. You know something needs to get done—a report, the laundry, calling a friend—but instead of acting, you feel a heavy weight settle in. Sadness creeps up, followed by a sense of “I can’t do this.” In that moment, what you really need is comfort, rest, or a helping hand. But too often, what you get instead is your inner critic swooping in: “Why can’t you just get it together? You’re so lazy!”

I’ve been there. I once had a huge presentation due, and instead of starting, I berated myself for procrastinating. The harsher I got, the less I accomplished—until I was a ball of exhaustion and guilt. Sound familiar? That self-critical voice might feel like a tough coach pushing you forward, but it’s actually sinking you deeper into the spiral. The sad, overwhelmed feelings almost always win, leaving you stuck.

How Your Brain Wants to Motivate You

Here’s the good news: Your brain is built to motivate itself—it’s just that overwhelm and self-criticism throw a wrench in the works. Three key areas team up to get you moving:

  1. Limbic System: This is your safety detector. When it’s calm, you feel secure enough to act. When it’s flooded with “danger” signals, you freeze—like you’re stuck on that high wire.
  2. Prefrontal Cortex: Think of this as your inner planner. It breaks big goals into bite-sized steps and keeps you on track, like a coach mapping out a marathon training schedule.
  3. Ventral Striatum: This is your reward center, and it thrives on social connection and meaning. It’s the cheering crowd at the finish line, the pride of sharing your win with someone, or the feeling of becoming the person you admire.

When these parts work together, motivation flows naturally. The problem? Modern life floods the limbic system, drowns out the prefrontal cortex, and leaves the ventral striatum starved for meaningful rewards. But you can flip the script with a few smart strategies.

Three Steps to Reignite Your Drive

Ready to get unstuck? Here’s how to tap into your brain’s natural motivation system:

1. Create Safety First

If your limbic system thinks you’re on a high wire, it’s going to keep you paralyzed. Bring it back to solid ground with these simple tricks:

  • Gratitude: Jot down three things you’re thankful for—it could be coffee, a sunny day, or a kind text.
  • Comfort: Give yourself a hug (seriously, it works!) or call a friend to vent about your day.

These acts dial down the overwhelm, signaling to your brain that it’s safe to move forward.

2. Break It Down—Way Down

Your prefrontal cortex loves a clear plan. Big tasks like “clean the house” or “finish the project” can feel like unclimbable mountains. Instead, shrink them into tiny, doable steps:

  • Instead of “write the report,” start with “open the document.”
  • Instead of “organize the closet,” begin with “pull out one shelf.”

Focus on just the next step. Once you check it off, the momentum builds—and suddenly, that mountain looks more like a hill.

3. Make Rewards Social and Meaningful

Your ventral striatum doesn’t care about another cup of coffee or a Netflix binge. It lights up for rewards that connect you to others or your values:

  • Social: Who can you share your win with? Plan to text a friend, “I did it!” or celebrate with a loved one.
  • Meaningful: Link the task to who you want to be. Maybe finishing that report means you’re responsible like your role model, or helping a teammate aligns with your desire to be kind.

For example, when I finally tackled that presentation, I told myself, “This is me being the reliable person my dad always was.” Plus, I called my best friend to brag when it was done. Those rewards pulled me through.

The Real Motivation Killer: Self-Criticism

Here’s the catch: None of this works if your inner critic is running the show. That voice saying, “You’re not good enough,” or “Why can’t you keep up?” isn’t motivating—it’s paralyzing. Often, it’s a leftover habit from childhood, when you needed help but got sighs or eye rolls instead. Over time, you learned to turn that criticism inward.

Next time it pipes up, pause. Ask yourself, “What would I say to a friend who’s struggling?” Chances are, you’d be gentle: “It’s okay, you’ve got a lot on your plate. Let’s figure this out together.” Offer yourself that same grace. If the self-criticism feels like a brick wall, therapy can help you explore where it came from and set it aside—so you can focus on who you want to become.

You’ve Got This—And You Don’t Have to Do It Alone

Lack of motivation isn’t about laziness or a lack of discipline. It’s your brain crying out for safety, clarity, and purpose amid the chaos. By calming your limbic system, leaning on your prefrontal cortex, and feeding your ventral striatum with rewards that matter, you can break the overwhelm spiral and get moving again.

So, next time you’re staring down that to-do list, try this: Take a deep breath, list three things you’re grateful for, pick one tiny step to start with, and decide who you’ll tell when it’s done. You might be surprised how far it takes you. And if you’re still stuck? Reach out—to a friend, a loved one, or a professional. Motivation isn’t a solo sport, and you don’t have to go it alone.

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Kristi Wollbrink
Managing emotions

“Why did this happen?” How to Find Hope in Tragedy

Written by Kristi Wollbrink

Loss and sadness naturally leave us feeling uncertain. This can bring with them a deeper yearning for understanding – this deep yearning for meaning in the midst of the pain.  Tragedy and loss naturally cause us to notice deep questions about ourselves and our experiences. This sense of searching for meaning in the midst of our pain and sadness.  

Often as we are experiencing a loss or crisis we find ourselves trying to find answers to help us understand why we are experiencing the pain.  We begin to find ourselves searching for answers to really hard questions.  

“Why me?”

Thoughts like “why?” or “why me?” begin to creep in and can feel very overwhelming.  These questions and wonderings are our way of seeking as a way of making peace with our experiences.  That’s is also why it can feel distressing and overwhelming to be asking these questions when there seem to be no clear answers to these questions.  

Our internal need for answers is a normal and natural longing.  Being unable to make sense of our experience and sensing that we cannot find the answers we so deeply need can lead to other linked experiences such as:

  • Anger
  • Irritability
  • Lack of motivation
  • Feeling numb
  • Increased anxiety
  • Racing or ruminating thoughts

These may signal a deeper need for an ability to gain a sense of clarity to help us to understand what has happened and the reason for the event or tragedy.  

You may notice yourself going back to this swirling thought:  “Why me? Why now? Why this way?”

Your search for meaning started as a child

There is this very primary response that we all have that needs to be able to connect with the meaning of a situation or experience.  For many of us, we may remember these moments in our early development where there is a continual quest for understanding.  This is often the season that tests the patience of most parents or caregivers when small children begin to ask the perpetual question of “why?”  

“Why does the sun look like that?”  “Why does the cat say meow?”  

Why, why why.  This is a primal instinct that is without question one of the most important parts of learning how to navigate things that feel uncertain or unknown.  In this process of wondering and asking we are also finding ways to care for our deeper emotional need for safety and security.  

One of the most valued and important feelings that we need is that of safety and security.  This need for security is absolutely related to our own desire to know that I am safe.  

We want to know we’re still safe

Moments of crisis shake the very foundation of our internal sense of safety.  These moments that feel like they shatter all that we once knew, also threaten this deeper feeling of security and safety.  

Being able to make meaning of these life shattering moments is one of the most important steps in being able to regain your feeling of inner rest.  The continual feelings of fear and uncertainty can seem endless and exhausting.  Yet, being able to notice the questions that keep coming up in a way that is accepting and compassionate can be just what you need to move from a place of fear and into a place of hope and rest.

What to do when you notice yourself caught in a flurry of wondering and ache.

Here are three things that can most help you make sense of the pain.

1. Give yourself space to ask questions.  It can feel scary to notice that we are wondering about things that seem to have no answer.  Yet, these questions are important to help you to seek a sense of meaning making that is so valuable in your own sense of understanding that you are so naturally seeking.  Think of this as your small child self that needs to ask the questions, even if there may not be a perfect answer that solves the wondering.  Sometimes designating a set amount of time to be able to sit with these deeper feelings and questions can be helpful to prevent feeling overwhelmed. Setting a timer and allowing a set amount of time for which you can allow yourself to explore the questions and feelings can be helpful.  Once the allotted time has ended you can begin to shift your focus and know that you come back to these thoughts again tomorrow or next week.  

2. Find a safe space to tell your story.  It can feel hard to feel like you are having to say the same thing again and again, without being able to move past the pain, but the pain is an important indicator that you need to seek out safe spaces to talk and be heard.  For many people, having friends and family who can listen and care are invaluable.  There is also something helpful about being able to share your story with others who have experiences that are similar to your own.  There is this incredible feeling that comes when you begin to share and someone says, “yeah, I hear you, that is totally relatable and understandable.”  Seeking out a support group or grief group for others who are going through a similar experience can be one of the greatest resources to help in regaining your own sense of well being. 

3. Seek out practices and spaces that help you in moments of difficulty.This could include practices that bring a sense of connection with your own empowerment, clarity about their own life purpose and spaces that help you live out your deeper personal values.  A great resources for times of fear and uncertainty can be to move into a connection with deeper values and meaning. 

– Spending time with important people.

– Find intentional ways that allow you to give back  

– Connecting with nature and beauty in the world around you. 

– Seeking out faith communities or other spiritual practices. 

When we go through difficult times, we can often find ourselves disconnecting from these places and people who are important parts of our own grounding and connection.  Creating a plan for intentional connection can be important and helpful, especially as you grapple with deeper yearning for understanding and meaning.

These moments of deep pain or unexpected loss can be some of the most difficult and unsettling experiences.  Allowing space to allow the questions to come can be an important part of helping to find a deeper sense of meaning.  Sometimes there isn’t a clear path forward, and sometimes the answers themselves may not feel clear or complete.  Yet you don’t have to feel overwhelmed in the midst of your pain.  There are ways that you can help to move through the questions with greater courage and peace.  

Seeking a safe place to be able to explore these deeper questions in the midst of tragedy is so very important.  Sometimes it can feel helpful to seek out the help of a therapist or other mental health professional to help support you in the process of seeking clarity during these difficult moments.

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