to help you find intimacy together

Maybe you feel like no matter what you do, how hard you try, you can’t seem to get “out” of sadness. You can’t cheer yourself up, and you feel guilty about it. In this moment, we use a belief – a story – about what we should do to feel better. The false story is that serotonin, the “happiness hormone”,

As you see the sun increasingly less during this time of year, you might also find yourself feeling sad and wondering why things are feeling more and more difficult. You notice that it’s harder to keep up your motivation. You’re feeling disconnected from your friends and family. There are days you feel significantly weighed down by your sadness. All you

It is a common experience to feel excited and hopeful as we anticipate the coming holiday season.  This is often a time for family gatherings and much needed break from your daily activities.  Yet also many people find that they have some hesitations and worries related to the holidays.  It is easy to find yourself dreading the potential difficulties and

There’s always that one friendship that feels more tough than easy. You find yourself often frustrated with that person and misunderstood. Maybe you feel like you put way more into the friendship than the other person does. At its worst, you feel used or manipulated. You wonder if the friendship might qualify as a toxic one. Perhaps this person even

Having the skills to stay engaged when relationship conflict arises can feel impossible. Sometimes, you wish you could push the eject button as soon as another argument begins. You find yourself remaining silent, or saying whatever you feel will “ease the tension,” even just for a moment. You feel desperate to quickly resolve the tension in whatever way you can.  

“Have you eaten?” As an Asian American, I was more likely to hear those words in place of “I love you”, and a plate of cut-up fruit replaced their way of expressing support and care for what I did. Now that I am an adult, I’ve come to interpret the indirect ways that my parents express love, but as a

The bad apology: We’ve all heard one. We’ve all used one. And when we do it feels so gross. “God, I’m SORRY!”“I don’t know what I did but whatever it is I apologize.”“I guess I’m sorry that you think I wasn’t listening.”“Look, I said I’m sorry. Why’re you still angry? No. It doesn’t work. It doesn’t help. Actually, a bad

I get it. It always feels easier to ignore the thing that’s bothering you in your relationships – whether that be with your friend, coworker, boss, family member, or partner.  You hope that the comment that rubbed you the wrong way or the awkward moment of tension will just pass and be a thing of the past. You hope that

Do you struggle with building boundaries? Have you paid attention to the patterns you hold in your relationships? Do you find yourself setting no boundaries with potential friends but you swear them out of your life when they cross an invisible line? Do you feel like you have your guard up all the time and never let anyone in despite

It can feel difficult to know how much of ‘their own space’ to give your teenager while still knowing that you need to be their parent. Learning to change a few of the things you are doing may help your teenager feel more heard and understood and bring a deeper connection that you’ll both benefit from in your relationship. Adolescent

Have you ever had the feeling that no matter how hard you try to make a change, you are just not able to “get it right” in the relationships and with the people that matter to you the most? You might find yourself worried all the time, holding back in your interactions, second-guessing yourself, or even finding that you want

“I don’t want you to just fix the situation – can’t you just hear me?”  For many couples this is a familiar rough spot. Maybe one partner is overwhelmed by something difficult, and the other partner – often well intentioned – responds by finding solutions to the pain. This can be a place of contention and can escalate quickly. Each

Once, exhausted after a long day, I let my body droop from the edge of my couch to lay next to my dog on the floor. Hoping I could live the comfortable life that my dog does without a worry in the world, I stared into my dog’s innocent eyes and sought comfort – the comfort of her gentle, furry

Of course it hurts to lose someone you love. Loving and being loved is at the center of being human. Whether a loss is a a break-up or a death, loss is loss. And we feel pain in the center of ourselves when someone we love is gone forever. But there is a story we tell ourselves that makes the

Setting healthy boundaries is always worthwhile, but as quarantine set in, this may have begun to feel like an impossible goal. You are not alone. As many of us find ourselves spending all our time in confined spaces with loved ones, recognizing and respecting one’s physical and emotional limitations is a challenge. Lots of people are finding themselves needing to

Life has looked a bit different these days. Instead of carpooling to soccer practice and planning birthday parties, you have helped your children set up their virtual classrooms and are doing anything to keep boredom at bay. Personal stressors arise for you as you navigate this uncertain time as a parent but how does a world pandemic look through the

With all the changes in our lives due the coronavirus and quarantine, our relationships are going to feel the strain. You are likely going to have more conflicts with your partner, simply by being around them more often. You also have the opportunity to deepen your relationship- therapy from home. In difficult times, our relationships can get stronger To really

For couples, quarantine can be anything but relaxing. The image of snuggling by a warm fire and completing crossword puzzles may be a reality for a small minority of couples, but for many of us it can be a pressure cooker. The risk of COVID-19, fears or realities of economic distress, lack of normal coping patterns (such as other friendships,

Close relationships are the center of a happy life. And while each of us wants to feel connected to others, often our words, actions, and non-verbals don’t seem to pull us closer to others. I want to talk about “passive questions” – a kind of interaction that can be tough to deal with in any relationship. Let’s talk about what