Why That Toxic Relationship is Created by the Pain You’re Trying to Avoid (And How to Break Free)

Written by herecounseling
Managing emotions

Certain relationships feel like a rerun of old wounds. Maybe it’s a partner whose constant criticism makes you feel small, just like a judgmental parent did in childhood. Or perhaps their helplessness leaves you frustrated and overburdened, echoing the abandonment from an unreliable caregiver. These “toxic” relationships aren’t accidents—they’re born from pains being desperately avoided. In fact, they come from

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5 Somatic Therapy Tools for Calming Panic Attacks

Written by Addy Sonneland
Managing emotions

Panic attacks can feel overwhelming, sudden, and out of your control. Your heart races, your chest tightens, your breath shortens, and it can feel like something terrible is about to happen—even if there’s no clear danger in front of you. While these intense experiences are deeply disruptive, they are not signs of weakness or brokenness. Your nervous system is fighting

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People-pleasing, boundaries, self-care, toxic boundaries, and self-awareness

How to Set Boundaries Without Being Toxic, Even if You People-Please

Written by herecounseling
Healthy Relationships, Managing emotions

In today’s culture, “boundaries” has become a go-to phrase for navigating relationships, often hailed as the ultimate self-care tool. But what if this popular take is missing the mark, turning boundaries into toxic barriers rather than bridges? In this post, we’ll dive into how social media and pop psychology frame boundaries, explore the toxic pitfalls of this view with real

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Perfectionism self-criticism and anger

Perfectionistic? How to Get Rid of Anger, Even If You’ve Tried Before

Written by herecounseling
Managing emotions

Imagine you’re powering through another late night at work, pushing yourself harder because that project just isn’t “good enough” yet. Your mind races with thoughts like, “Why can’t you get this right? You’re falling behind—again.” The tension builds, maybe erupting into anger at yourself or snapping at a colleague. If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. As a perfectionist or

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Why Conflict Feels Like Danger: How to Avoid the 4 Survival Modes in Your Relationships

Written by juliawilson
Anxiety, Healthy Relationships, Managing emotions

Conflict with someone you care about leaves you overwhelmed. You shut down and can’t find any words. Or you raise your voice louder than you wanted to. Whatever the reaction, you feel out of control—and afterward, you’re left wondering: what just happened?  It can feel inevitable—like you always hit a point in your relationships where something takes over and you

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How EMDR Helps: Healing Trauma Through the Body

Written by John Allan Whitacre
EMDR, Managing emotions, Somatic Exercises

If you’ve been exploring different types of therapy—especially for healing trauma—you may have come across EMDR, or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. It’s often described as a technique that helps you “reprocess” difficult memories, especially from past trauma. EMDR isn’t just about changing your memories; it’s a somatic therapy that helps your body release stored tensions. That’s what makes EMDR

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Pasadena couples therapy

Addiction Impacting your Relationship? How to Talk with Your Partner about Couples Therapy

Written by herecounseling
Healthy Relationships, Managing emotions

Addiction—to pornography, gambling, or alcohol—casts a long shadow over relationships, often fracturing trust, draining finances, and eroding emotional intimacy. We’ll address pressing questions partners often ask: How Addiction Impacts Couples The following stories, pulled from Reddit posts, offer a glimpse into the pain and complexity of loving someone with an addiction. These anonymous quotes reflect the emotional, financial, and relational

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