Anxiety Archives

5 Ways Trauma Rewires Your Brain for Survival

The human brain is remarkably adaptive, especially in response to adversity. When individuals experience neglect, emotional or verbal abuse, sexual abuse, or witness family violence—particularly in early childhood—their brains undergo survival-based changes to help them navigate a dangerous world. These adaptations are, in many ways, a reflection of the brain’s resilience. However, when trauma survivors move into safer environments, they often struggle deactivating the survival mechanisms they developed. Understanding how the brain adapts to trauma can be the first step in healing and reclaiming a sense of safety.

Imagine a child growing up in a confusing home where every interaction holds the potential for emotional or physical harm. This child’s brain learns to adapt for survival. Now, picture this child as an adult now living somewhere safe. Logically, they know they’re no longer in danger, but their brain hasn’t fully caught up yet. Instead, it continues to operate in survival mode, shaping the way they think, feel, and connect with others—even long into adulthood.

Much like animals in the wild, who develop specific survival tactics in response to threats, trauma survivors exhibit similar resilience. Nature documentaries often showcase how animals adapt to harsh environments—whether it’s a gazelle learning to anticipate predators or a bear cub developing defensive skills after early hardships. While these adaptations serve them well in the wild, if these animals were relocated to a protected sanctuary, they might initially struggle adjusting to the lack of danger. Similarly, trauma survivors may find it difficult to shift from survival mode to a state of peace and trust, even when they are safe.

Here are five ways your brain changes in response to trauma:

1. In Trauma, Hypervigilance Becomes the Norm

After experiencing prolonged danger, your brain becomes hyper-aware of potential threats. The amygdala, the part of the brain responsible for detecting danger, becomes overactive, leading to heightened anxiety and an exaggerated startle response. This makes it difficult to relax, even in safe environments, as your brain continuously scans for danger.

In the animal kingdom, prey animals like deer or rabbits exhibit similar hypervigilance. Their finely tuned senses help them detect danger, but when placed in a controlled environment where threats are minimal, they may still exhibit skittish behavior until they learn to feel safe.

How This Affects Relationships:

You may constantly anticipate conflict, even in peaceful relationships.
Small misunderstandings may feel like major threats, leading to overreactions.
You might struggle to believe your partner’s reassurances, fearing hidden dangers.

2. Emotional Regulation Becomes Difficult when Traumatized

Trauma impacts the prefrontal cortex, the area of the brain responsible for impulse control and emotional regulation. When this region is impaired, it results in heightened emotional reactivity, difficulty managing stress, and challenges in expressing emotions in a healthy way. You may find yourself easily overwhelmed or reacting to situations that seem minor to others.

Similarly, animals that have faced repeated stress, such as rescued shelter dogs, often struggle with emotional regulation. They may lash out or retreat, not because they are naturally aggressive, but because their past experiences have wired their brains to expect harm.

How This Affects Relationships:

You might experience sudden mood swings, feeling fine one moment and deeply upset the next.
Expressing emotions may feel overwhelming, leading to either emotional outbursts or complete withdrawal.
Your partner may struggle to understand why small triggers cause big reactions.

3. Trust Issues Become Deeply Ingrained through Trauma

Because early trauma often involves betrayal or harm from caregivers, the brain learns that people—even those who claim to love you—may not be completely safe. The brain wires itself to be cautious in relationships, leading to difficulties in trusting others, fear of vulnerability, and challenges in forming healthy attachments.

In nature, animals that have been hunted or mistreated by humans often remain wary, even when approached with kindness. A rescued horse that has been abused may take years to learn to trust its new caretaker, despite being in a loving home. The same applies to trauma survivors—learning to trust again takes time and patience.

How This Affects Relationships:

You may struggle to believe that your partner’s love is genuine or lasting.
Opening up emotionally may feel impossible, leading to distance in relationships.
Fear of abandonment might cause you to push people away before they have a chance to leave.

4. Survival Mode of Trauma Disrupts Logical Thinking

The hippocampus, a brain region involved in memory and learning, is affected by trauma, making it difficult to differentiate past from present. This means that even in a safe environment, your brain may react as if the trauma is happening all over again. This can lead to difficulty making decisions, chronic stress, and difficulty retaining positive experiences.

Consider a wild animal repeatedly exposed to danger—its brain remains wired to react instinctively rather than logically. A fox that has barely survived multiple predator encounters may struggle to distinguish a genuine threat from a harmless situation. Likewise, trauma survivors often operate from a protective than connective place.

How This Affects Relationships:

You may misinterpret neutral comments or actions as personal attacks.
It can be difficult to see your partner’s intentions clearly, leading to misunderstandings.
Conflict resolution may feel impossible, as your brain automatically assumes the worst.

5. Trauma Distorts Self-Perception

When trauma happens early in life, particularly at the hands of caregivers, the brain may internalize the experience as a reflection of self-worth. This can result in deep-seated feelings of shame, guilt, or unworthiness. Survivors may develop negative self-talk, struggle with self-compassion, and feel as though they are fundamentally broken.

A perfect example of this can be seen in elephants that have been held in captivity. Even when freed, some remain chained mentally, believing they are still confined. Similarly, trauma survivors may feel stuck in limiting beliefs about themselves, even when those beliefs are no longer valid.

How This Affects Relationships

You may feel unworthy of love, leading to self-sabotage in relationships.
Accepting compliments or kindness from others may feel uncomfortable or even suspicious.
A deep fear of rejection may cause you to settle for unhealthy relationships or avoid intimacy altogether.

Reach Out and Move Toward Healing

The good news is that the brain remains plastic—meaning it can change and heal even after years of trauma-induced adaptations. Therapy, mindfulness, and trauma-informed practices can help retrain the brain to recognize safety, regulate emotions, and develop healthier relational patterns.

Like rehabilitated wildlife that learns to thrive in a protected environment, trauma survivors can relearn what it means to be safe, loved, and emotionally free. If you recognize these trauma responses in yourself, know that you are not alone. Your brain adapted to survive, but now, you deserve to heal. With the right support, you can create new neural pathways that foster a sense of safety, trust, and emotional balance in your life.

Therapy for trauma and depression with McKenzie Laird, AMFT

Learn More About Therapy with McKenzie

Anxiety, Podcast

Young Adults Need to Feel Strong: Why “Vibey” Therapists are Unhelpful, and Tips to Find a Good One for Your Young Adult

Written by herecounseling

Navigating mental health as a community college student is no small feat. At Pasadena City College (PCC), where about 24,000 students—fresh-faced high school grads, career switchers, and everyone in between—chase their dreams, the mental health team works overtime to keep up. Dr. Andrea Bailey, Faculty Lead and Clinical Director, compares her job to running a small city’s mental health system, juggling limited resources and a dizzying array of student needs.

But here’s the kicker: therapy alone isn’t enough. This article dives into why trauma thrives without communal support, the traps of “vibey” therapists that can trip up young adults, and how to spot a therapist who’ll actually help you grow.

Trauma’s Roots: Where Community Falls Short

Trauma doesn’t hit like a lightning bolt—it’s more like a slow burn. Dr. Bailey explains that after big events, like wildfires or political chaos, students don’t flood the counseling center right away. They lean on their communities first—friends, family, campus buddies. But when those ties weaken or dissolve, the fallout creeps in months later, driving up demand for therapy. This delay reveals something big: mental health isn’t just about what’s in your head. It’s tied to the people around you.

In today’s world, where stable communities—think tight-knit families or neighborhood crews—are fading, students end up relying on therapists to fill the void. Dr. Bailey’s point is clear: therapy can patch you up, but it’s communal support that keeps you steady. Without it, trauma festers, and young adults, already figuring out who they are, feel the weight even more.

The Trap of “Vibey” Therapists: Why Good Vibes Aren’t Enough

Ever met a therapist who’s all warm fuzzies but no substance? Dr. Bailey calls them “vibey therapists”—the ones who nail the cozy vibe but don’t push you to grow. For young adults, this can be a real stumbling block. Drawing from Abigail Shrier’s Bad Therapy, here are three common pitfalls of this approach and how they mess with students:

Fostering Dependence Over Independence
These therapists might leave you hooked on their affirmations, like you’re a plant that can’t grow without constant watering. Young adults, who are supposed to be learning how to stand on their own, end up needing a session just to face a bad grade or a fight with a roommate.
Turning Struggles Into Identities
Too much focus on feelings without a game plan can glue you to your pain. Dr. Bailey hears students say, “I am my anxiety,” like it’s their whole personality. For young adults shaping their futures, this can lock them into a victim mindset instead of pushing them past it.
Prioritizing Comfort Over Challenge
If therapy feels like a hug fest with no tough questions, it’s not doing its job. Young adults need to stretch their wings—avoiding hard stuff keeps them fragile, not ready for the real world’s curveballs.

These traps don’t just stall you—they can backfire, making resilience harder to build. Shrier’s critique hits home: therapy that’s too soft can turn growing pains into permanent scars, especially for students at a crossroads.

Finding the Right Therapist: Tips That Work

So, how do you dodge the “vibey” trap and find a therapist who’s legit? It’s like picking a workout buddy—you want someone who’ll cheer you on but also call you out when you’re slacking. Dr. Bailey’s got some solid advice. Here are three tips to know if a therapist’s a good fit:

They Challenge You (But Not Too Hard)
A great therapist listens, gets you, then nudges you forward. If you’re just venting every week with no progress, it’s too vibey. Look for someone who sparks action.
They’ve Walked the Walk
Ask if they’ve been in therapy themselves. A therapist who’s faced their own stuff won’t lean on you to feel useful. For young adults, this means less risk of a weird, clingy vibe and more focus on your growth.
You Feel Seen, Not Babied
You should leave a session feeling understood but not pampered. If they’re handing you tools or a fresh angle—not just nodding and smiling—you’ve got a keeper. It’s about moving forward, not wallowing.

These pointers help you zero in on therapy that builds you up, not just props you up.

Therapy Plus Community

Therapy’s a tool, but it shines brightest alongside real community—friends, clubs, a campus crew. At PCC, Dr. Bailey’s team pushes students to plug into campus life, because healing sticks when you’re not alone. For young adults, dodging “vibey” therapists and chasing solid support—both in and out of the counseling room—can turn a rough patch into a launchpad. In a world that’s shaky at best, that’s worth figuring out.

Anxiety, Somatic Exercises

What is Embodiment? 3 Big Myths About Your Mind-Body Connection

Written by Addy Sonneland

You’ve heard of “embodiment” and you are curious how this could work for you. You find yourself stuck in your head, disconnected from your experiences, and just going through the motions. Maybe you have a general understanding of your emotions, but you feel a step or two away from truly feeling them. Stress and trauma have kept you from feeling fully present and moments of dissociation feel like regular occurrences.

You’ve tried the phrases, “mind over matter” or “just shake it off”. You know that feeling tense, numb, and overwhelmed is keeping you from being fully present. Additionally, You want to experience your emotions without feeling hijacked by them. You long to find ease – a desire to walk through life feeling grounded, connected, and comfortable in your own skin. You are longing for embodiment.

Embodiment is a way of working with the mind-body connection, not by doing something entirely new, but by bringing awareness to what your body is already doing. As somatic trauma therapist, Manuela Mischke Reeds says,

“Embodiment is the awareness process through which we recognize ourselves as interconnected living systems.”

When we cultivate this awareness, we gain wisdom and insight, allowing ourselves to respond authentically and engage fully—both with ourselves and others. In this blog, we’ll explore how emotions take visible form in the body and how tuning into these signals can help you feel more present, grounded, and at home in yourself. Let’s talk more about embodiment and how somatic awareness works.

3 Common Myths About Embodiment

Many people have misconceptions about what embodiment really is. Let’s clear up some confusion around the most common ones.

1. Embodiment means always feeling “good” in your body

While embodiment includes focusing on comfortable or soothing sensations, it is not about finding a state of constant comfort or ease. It includes (but is not limited to) awareness of discomfort, tension, or even moments of disconnection from physical sensations. The goal is not to eliminate the feelings, but rather to cultivate curiosity and compassion.

2. Embodiment is something you achieve once and for all

As amazing as it would be, embodiment is not a final destination. Our awareness of our body and emotions fluctuates throughout the day. Embodiment is an ongoing process of noticing. The power of embodiment is found through returning to awareness again and again, building a relationship between the mind and body over time.

3. Embodiment is just about movement or posture

While movement plays a role, embodiment is more than standing tall or stretching. It’s about recognizing how emotions show up in the body—like a clenched jaw in frustration or a sense of lightness in joy. Movement can help us learn to work with these sensations rather than ignoring or suppressing them.

3 Truths About Embodiment

Now that we have cleared up some misconceptions, let’s explore what embodiment really is and why it is so important.

1. Embodiment is for everyone

A history of trauma is not required to benefit from developing somatic awareness. We all navigate stress, emotions, and daily experiences that shape how we feel in our bodies. Embodiment helps correct the tendency to intellectualize emotions—thinking about them rather than actually feeling them. Emotions begin in the body, and they always have a physical manifestation. Through sensory awareness—exteroception (external sensations), proprioception (body position and movement), and interoception (internal bodily signals)—you can learn to recognize and process emotions as they arise. When you do, you ground yourself in the present.

2. Embodiment is an ongoing practice

It’s not a one-time realization but a long-term process of cultivating awareness to your body’s signals. The more you practice, the more natural it becomes. Over time, you’ll develop a stronger felt sense– your innate, pre-verbal knowledge of the mind-body connection. Instead of relying on “mind over matter,” you’ll recognize when to rest, move, or seek support. This shift leads toward greater authenticity both with yourself and others.

3. The mind and body are intimately connected

Finally, Your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations are deeply intertwined through the truly brilliant vagus nerve. Dr. Willa Blythe Baker from the Mind & Life Institute notes, “Neuroscience now recognizes that the brain and the body are so intimately intertwined that they cannot be thought of separately.” Embodiment is not just about understanding your emotions but about sensing and processing them through the body. When you lean into embodiment, you move toward wholeness—engaging with life fully rather than slipping into disconnection or overwhelm.

Ready to reconnect with your body?

I help people just like you learn to move from overthinking to deeply feeling – so you can trust yourself, respond authentically, and feel more at home in your body. Embodiment is a process and you don’t have to figure it out alone.

I help people move out of survival mode and toward embodiment. We can work together to help you get there. In somatic therapy, we will use mindful awareness and gentle exploration to tap into your innate strength. This includes noticing body sensations, processing emotions through intentional movement, and inviting your body to tell the story. Your body is already speaking to you, somatic therapy helps you listen. Click below and schedule a free consultation today.

Learn more about Somatic Therapy with Addy

See our Somatic Therapists

Anxiety, Podcast, Somatic Exercises

[VIDEO] Somatic Therapist on How to Harness the Miraculous Power of Memory and Motion

Written by herecounseling

Arianne MacBean, a somatic therapist with a profound background in dance education and choreography, helps people with trauma and anxiety to create change using their bodies. On the surface, this idea sounds trivial, yet as Arianne explains, the body is absolutely central in any process of healing. Arianne shared her unique journey from leading dance workshops for veterans to becoming a somatic psychotherapist, illustrating how movement and memory can catalyze deep emotional and psychological healing.

How veterans heal trauma through movement

Arianne’s work began with veterans through “The Collective Memory Project,” where she combined writing and movement to help veterans process their memories. “We were dealing with memory making as a relational process,” Arianne explains. “It changes as you tell it and share it.” This initiative was not just about dance but about using movement as a medium to externalize and reinterpret personal experiences. Veterans found themselves in a space where their memories could be shared, reshaped, and witnessed by others, leading to profound moments of vulnerability, healing, and sometimes, performance on stage alongside professional dancers.

Moving from dance to therapy

The transition from dance educator to therapist was driven by Arianne’s realization of the deep therapeutic impact her workshops had. She noticed that moving memories physically allowed for an emotional release that talking alone could not achieve. “What we were doing was incredibly evocative, provocative, emotional, vulnerable, and healing,” Arianne recounts. This insight led her to pursue further skills in somatic psychotherapy, where she could formally integrate these practices into healing processes.

How Somatic Therapy Works

Arianne describes how, in therapy sessions, she encourages clients to embody their emotions or memories physically. “It’s a kind of embodied way of processing experience,” she notes. For example, she recounts a session where a client with an autoimmune condition physically took on a posture from a painful memory, leading to significant emotional shifts. This method isn’t about escaping discomfort but about engaging with it in a controlled, therapeutic setting, which can lead to acceptance and eventual relief.

The process allows for a re-experiencing of trauma in a safe environment, where the body’s memory can be explored and reframed. “It’s about feeling change, not just thinking it,” Arianne adds, emphasizing the emotional and bodily release that somatic therapy facilitates.

Somatic therapy exercises actually involve two people: you and the therapist

One of the key takeaways from Arianne’s discussion is the human connection in therapy. By sharing and mirroring physical expressions, both therapist and client connect on a primal, empathetic level. “I do a lot of movement with them too; I mirror what they’re doing,” Arianne shares, highlighting how this practice fosters an environment where healing can occur not just through distance or professional detachment but through shared human experience.

3 Somatic Therapy Exercises

Arianne suggests simple exercises for those dealing with panic or pain:

Acknowledge the Sensation: Recognize the pain or panic as a signal, not an enemy. “Hello, anxiety,” she suggests as a way to acknowledge rather than fight the feeling.
Breathe Into It: Instead of breathing away from the discomfort, breathe into it, sending your breath to where you feel the pain or anxiety. “It’s about inhaling and exhaling into the sensation,” she explains.
Re-center in the Present: Remind yourself of your current safety and environment, grounding yourself back to the present moment. “You’re here, you’re okay,” she reassures.

Arianne MacBean’s journey from the stage to the therapy room highlights a beautiful synergy between art and healing. Her work underscores the potential of somatic practices in psychological therapy, offering hope and new methods for those seeking to heal from deep-seated traumas or chronic conditions through the power of their own bodies. Her approach not only transforms personal narratives but also invites everyone to rethink how we engage with our emotions and memories, fostering a space where healing is both an individual and communal journey.

Learn about Somatic Therapy for Trauma

5 Somatic Therapy Exercises to Calm Your Body and Mind Now

Anxiety, Somatic Exercises

Somatic Therapy Exercises at Home: 5 Simple Somatic Exercises for Trauma, Anxiety, and Stress Relief

Written by Here Counseling

Somatic therapy is a practice that connects the mind and body for healing. It offers exercises that address trauma, stress, and enhance overall well-being. The exercises are simple and many of them you can do at home. You may even already be doing them without knowing! Somatic exercises are simple practices that connect the mind and body to promote healing and relaxation. Somatic therapy exercises, also known as somatic experiencing exercises or somatic exercises for anxiety, can be performed easily at home to manage physical sensations related to stress and trauma. Here are five exercises you can try at home to calm your body and mind today.

Quick List of Somatic Exercises

Body Spotlight: Shine an imaginary spotlight on your body to notice sensations without judgment.
Centering: Ground yourself by focusing on the floor or chair beneath you.
Breath as Anchor: Use deep, abdominal breathing to calm your nervous system.
Body Directed Movement: Move gently to release tension and connect with your body.
Dialogue with Body: Tune into your body’s sensations and ask what it needs.

What is Somatic Therapy? Understanding Mind-Body Techniques

Somatic therapy, often referred to as somatic experiencing, focuses on the body’s role in healing from trauma and stress. Developed by Dr. Peter Levine, it emphasizes bodily sensations (interoceptive, proprioceptive, and kinesthetic) to release trapped energy without directly revisiting traumatic memories. Unlike traditional talk therapy, somatic therapy works bottom-up, starting with the body to influence the mind. Studies show it effectively reduces PTSD symptoms and anxiety by mimicking natural stress release processes in the body.

Benefits of Somatic Therapy Exercises at Home for Trauma and Anxiety

Somatic exercises at home provide numerous advantages for mental and physical health:

Releases stored trauma by addressing physical sensations like tightness or discomfort.
Reduces anxiety quickly through nervous system regulation, lowering fight-or-flight responses.
Improves emotional regulation and self-awareness for better daily stress management.
Enhances mind-body connection, similar to how full somatic therapy supports trauma recovery.
Promotes relaxation and well-being without needing professional help for mild issues.

Why Practice Somatic Therapy Exercises?

Somatic exercises address the physical signs of stress and trauma that talk therapy might miss. By focusing on bodily sensations, they help release stored trauma, reduce stress, and improve emotional regulation. They foster self-awareness and provide tools for daily stress management, promoting a harmonious mind-body connection.

5 Somatic Therapy Exercises: Step-by-Step Guide

1. Body Spotlight

The body spotlight is a practice aimed at increasing awareness of where you hold emotional distress and emotional resource. By focusing on our body with attunement, we note where there is work to be done and what resources we can draw from. Begin by finding a quiet, comfortable place to sit or lie down. Close your eyes, or drop your focus inward. Notice your regular breathing pattern, and then slow it down just a tad, nothing fancy, just slow and easy. Imagine there is an interior spotlight that you can shine around your body.

Start at one end of your body and shine your spotlight around, taking in the feelings, sensations, images, and memories that pop up. Progressively move your attention through your body to the other end. As you light up each part of the interior landscape of your body, notice any sensations – tightness, warmth, tingling, pain, or comfort. Don’t judge, just acknowledge and note. This exercise can reveal areas where you might be holding stress or trauma, and where you gather strength and love, teaching you to tune into your body’s signals which often go unnoticed in daily life.

Demonstrating body spotlight somatic exercise for awareness

2. Centering

Centering is essential if you feel disconnected from your body or overwhelmed by emotions. It helps remind your body that you are safe, even if your emotions feel too strong. To practice, sit or stand with your feet firmly planted on the ground. Keep your eyes open and concentrate on the sensation of the ground beneath your feet – the firmness, the temperature, the texture through your shoes or socks.

If you’re sitting, feel the chair beneath you and sense where your body ends and the chair begins. Pay attention to the way the floor or chair hold and press into your body. Feel your edges. Look around the room and name the things you see. Tell yourself, “I am here. My body is OK.” Centering techniques help anchor you in the present moment, reducing anxiety and the feeling of being “out of body.” They are particularly useful for managing symptoms of PTSD or dissociation, providing a sense of safety and control over your physical environment.

For variations in somatic exercises for anxiety, try adding gentle foot movements like wiggling toes to enhance grounding.

3. Breath as Anchor

Breath work in somatic therapy isn’t just about deep breathing; it’s about reconnecting with your life force. Your breath is ALWAYS there for you as a tool for regulation. It is the quickest way to calm your nervous system. To practice, find a comfortable position, sitting or lying down. Place one hand on your abdomen and the other on your chest. Inhale deeply through your nose, allowing your abdomen to rise while keeping your chest relatively still. Exhale slowly through your mouth.

Focus on the sensation of the air entering and leaving your body, the rise and fall of your abdomen. If your mind wanders, gently bring it back to your breath. This exercise can be done anywhere and helps to activate the parasympathetic nervous system, promoting relaxation and reducing stress levels. It’s a fundamental tool in somatic therapy for managing anxiety and panic attacks.

Breath as anchor somatic therapy exercise technique

4. Body Directed Movement

Body directed movement encourages you to let your body lead the way, moving in ways that feel natural and releasing. This can help discharge pent-up energy and emotions stored in the body. Start in a standing position with feet shoulder-width apart. Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. Begin to move your body slowly, allowing it to guide the movement – sway, stretch, shake, or twist as feels right.

Pay attention to areas of tension and allow movement to flow through them. Continue for 5-10 minutes, then gradually slow down and come to a still position. Reflect on how your body feels after the exercise. This practice helps release physical tension and emotional blockages, improving flexibility both physically and emotionally. It’s particularly beneficial for those who feel stuck or repressed in their emotional expression.

5. Dialogue with Body

Dialoguing with your body involves listening to and communicating with your physical sensations as if they were messages from a wise friend. This exercise fosters a deeper understanding and compassion for your physical self. Sit or lie in a comfortable position. Close your eyes and scan your body for any sensations – pain, tightness, warmth, etc.

Once you identify a sensation, focus on it and ask, “What do you need right now?” or “What are you trying to tell me?” Listen for any intuitive responses – they might come as thoughts, images, or feelings. Respond with compassion, perhaps by adjusting your position or offering kind words internally. This dialogue can uncover underlying emotional needs and promote self-healing. It’s useful for developing self-compassion and addressing chronic pain or illness from a holistic perspective.

How to Build a Daily Somatic Routine at Home

Starting a somatic routine doesn’t need to be complicated. The most effective changes often begin with small, consistent steps. If you’ve already tried the exercises above, choose one or two that felt most natural and build from there. Set aside 5 to 10 minutes each morning or evening—somewhere quiet, where you can be alone with your body.

A daily routine might look like this:

Start with a few grounding breaths.
Do one somatic movement or scan.
Reflect for a minute on how you feel afterward.

Over time, this practice becomes less about “fixing” something and more about reconnecting with yourself.

Common Mistakes to Avoid With Somatic Exercises

Somatic exercises are gentle, but they can bring up strong emotions or sensations if done too quickly or without mindfulness. Here are a few common missteps to look out for:

Doing too much, too soon – These practices work best slowly and with intention.
Expecting instant relief – Somatic work often works beneath the surface first.
Forcing movements – If your body resists, it’s a signal to pause, not push.
Not checking in afterward – Reflection helps track subtle shifts and keeps you connected.

It’s okay if your practice doesn’t feel “perfect.” What matters is staying present.

Signs Your Body Is Responding to Somatic Work

How do you know if the exercises are helping? The signs may be subtle at first, but they’re meaningful. People often report:

A greater sense of calm or spaciousness after sessions
Decreased tension in the jaw, neck, or shoulders
Feeling more emotionally grounded during the day
Improved sleep quality
Being able to notice and name emotions more easily

Even if changes feel small, they often indicate deeper nervous system shifts.

Combining Somatic Exercises With Other Healing Practices

Somatic work is powerful on its own, but it also blends beautifully with other forms of healing. You might:

Pair breathwork with a body scan
Do gentle stretching or yoga before a somatic movement
Journal after exercises to explore what surfaced emotionally
Practice mindfulness to deepen body awareness throughout the day

Just make sure not to overwhelm yourself. The goal is regulation—not perfection.

Can Somatic Exercises Make Things Worse Before They Get Better?

It’s not uncommon to feel more sensitive, tired, or emotional after starting somatic work. This doesn’t mean it’s not working—it often means your body is finally softening and processing what’s been held for too long.

If this happens, try not to panic or shut down the practice entirely. Instead:

Go slower
Shorten sessions
Focus on grounding (feet on floor, deep breath, eye contact with something familiar)

If overwhelm persists, it might be a sign that support from a trained therapist could help you process things safely.

Creating a Grounding Space for Somatic Practice

You don’t need a fancy studio. A small, quiet space in your home—corner of a room, a mat on the floor, even a cushion by a window—can be enough. What matters most is how the space feels. Consider:

Dimming lights or using soft lighting
Playing calming background music or white noise
Keeping grounding objects nearby (a soft blanket, weighted item, or calming scent)

Your body is more likely to settle when your environment feels stable and predictable.

Somatic Exercises for Specific Situations (Anxiety, Sleep, Grief)

Somatic practices can be adapted based on what you’re moving through:

For anxiety:
Focus on grounding movements that bring your awareness to your feet or lower body. Try pressing your feet into the ground slowly, or clenching and releasing fists.

For sleep:
Gentle body scans or slow rhythmic rocking can calm the nervous system before bed. Try lying down and placing a hand on your belly to feel each breath.

For grief or emotional release:
Allow for spontaneous movement—swaying, curling, or even tears. Somatic work doesn’t always look neat, but it can open space for deep emotional shifts.

Somatic Therapy vs. At-Home Exercises: When to Seek Professional Help

While somatic exercises at home are excellent for mild stress and anxiety, full somatic therapy with a professional is recommended for deep trauma or chronic issues. For more on certified somatic practices, visit somaticexperiencing.com.

Somatic Therapy at Here Counseling

At Here Counseling, our therapists specialize in somatic therapy techniques to help you connect mind and body for lasting healing. Whether you’re dealing with trauma, stress, or seeking greater self-awareness, our experts guide you through personalized exercises and sessions. Discover how somatic therapy can transform your well-being – schedule a consultation today!

Learn more about Somatic Therapy

See our Pasadena Therapists

Frequently Asked Questions

What are somatic exercises?

Somatic exercises are mind-body practices that focus on bodily sensations to promote healing and relaxation. By tuning into physical feelings like tension or warmth, they help release stress and trauma, fostering a deeper connection between mind and body. These simple techniques can be done at home to enhance emotional and physical well-being.

How often should I practice somatic exercises?

You can practice somatic exercises daily or as needed to manage stress and improve well-being. Start with 5-10 minutes a day, adjusting based on your comfort and goals. Regular practice strengthens mind-body awareness, helping you stay grounded. For trauma or intense stress, combine with professional guidance for best results.

Can somatic exercises help with trauma?

Yes, somatic exercises help release trauma stored in the body by addressing physical sensations like tightness or discomfort. They promote nervous system regulation, reducing fight-or-flight responses. While effective for mild trauma, they work best alongside therapy for deeper healing, helping you process and integrate traumatic experiences safely and effectively.

What are somatic exercises for anxiety?

Somatic exercises for anxiety include grounding techniques like centering, breathwork, and body scans to calm the nervous system. These help reduce physical symptoms of anxiety by focusing on present-moment sensations rather than worrisome thoughts.

What’s the difference between somatic therapy and yoga?

Somatic therapy focuses on releasing trauma through body awareness and sensations, while yoga combines physical postures, breath, and meditation for overall well-being. Both enhance mind-body connection, but somatic therapy is more targeted for emotional healing.

WE PROVIDE SOMATIC THERAPY IN PASADENA.

We offer somatic therapy to help individuals move from disconnection to embodiment. Stored tension and trauma can be released, and you can learn new ways to feel safe and present in your body. We have somatic therapists who can guide you toward that transformation.

The somatic approach understands that our emotions are expressed not first with words, but with our bodily state. Somatic therapy emphasizes movement and feeling over talking and thinking. We listen to the body to create safety, greater awareness, and regulation of emotions like anxiety, depression, and panic, and traumatic stress.

We are certified in somatic interventions and can help you create lasting change in your body and mind.

Julia Wilson, Trauma Therapy in Pasadena

Addy Sonneland, Somatic Therapy

Couples therapy with John Allan Whitacre, AMFT — EMDR therapist John Allan Whitacre in Pasadena with EMDR

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Anxiety, Somatic Exercises

How does Somatic Therapy help? Healing your body and mind

Written by Here Counseling

You don’t have to be a guru to do somatic work. At its core, somatic work is simply being aware of your body, and you don’t need to do anything fancy to experience its benefits. It only takes a few seconds to drop into your body, feel whatever your body is feeling, note the sensations, and then carry on with your day. Simply spending a few moments with your body’s felt experience brings you closer to your embodied self.

What does somatic mean?

The term somatic itself can be distancing because it is used mostly in academic settings and not in everyday life. The word somatic essentially means relating to the body. So, you’re doing somatic work any time you notice your body’s sensations. It’s that simple.

What is an embodied self?

An embodied self is the experience of being fundamentally connected to your physical body. The experience of an embodied self encompasses awareness of sensations, movements, and perceptions. In other words, and embodied self is a way of understanding yourself as never being separate from your physical form but rather integrated within it. The embodied YOU holds a deep sense of being present in your body and actively interacts with the world through these sensations.

Why are somatics helpful?

Somatic exercises are tools to bridge mind and body. By linking mind and body, somatics are the means toward emotional regulation, stress reduction, pain management, and general well-being. When we feel that our mind and body are working together, not fighting each other, we feel better! Somatics help us integrate our physicality and cognition, our feeling and our thinking. We can feel more dynamically whole and embodied by practicing somatics.

What somatic work can I do on my own?

Just by noticing your feet on the ground when you sit or stand is somatic work. Taking a moment to notice the rise and fall of your chest when you breath is somatic work. Feeling tightness in your neck and then rolling your shoulders around is somatic work. It really doesn’t need to be anything too complicated.

Try this somatic therapy practice

Take a minute to close your eyes or turn your focus inward. Scan the internal and external landscapes of your body. Feel the air on your skin, the clothes on you back, the way your body is in contact with the couch you’re sitting on or the floor your standing on. Send attention to any part of your body that seeks your attention. Scan your body for sensations (aches, pangs, tickles; pain, pleasure, emotion, warmth, fatigue, anything!) Notice what comes up. Acknowledge your sensations and thank them.

How can I use somatics to better know myself?

Somatics are a wonderful way to connect deeply with stored tension, pain, or destabilization that is stored in your body from past traumatic experiences or dysfunctional coping mechanisms. Working with a somatic psychotherapist can help relieve physical pain and stress, improve emotional awareness and release of trauma. In somatic psychotherapy you become more attuned to your body’s signals, develop a deeper understanding of your needs and how to respond to them with compassion.

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Anxiety

Deep breathing isn’t helping? How to finally stop recurring anxiety

Written by Connor McClenahan

Deep breathing isn’t helping your anxiety

For many, anxiety is a recurring theme, showing up every day like an overstayed house guest. You try everything to avoid the Groundhog’s Day recurrence, only it doesn’t stop. For many, the anxiety shows up unwelcomed and unforeseen through a pain in your chest, tightness, migraines, fast heartbeat, or antsy behaviors like fidgeting, pacing, angry outbursts, sleeplessness… or all of the above. Anxiety can show up:

First thing in the morning
On the drive to work
When logging off work
Going to bed

It can impact your relationships, your productivity, and keep you in a heightened state of discomfort.

A common way many people cope is to try to calm themselves. They try everything:

Change their diet
Change their sleep patterns
exercise more
track their sleep
track their steps
track their heart rate
take deep breaths, or
distract themselves.

It’s incredibly frustrating when your efforts only keep the anxiety at bay for a moment before it reemerges, like a firefighter who puts out a fire, only for the house to burst into flames the moment you roll up the hose.

Deep breathing isn’t helping.

Deep breathing doesn’t stop your anxiety from resurfacing

There’s a reason your anxiety keeps reemerging. The more you tamp down your anxiety, the worse it will become. It will get louder and louder. The emotional energy pushing your heart rate up, messing up your sleep, causing you to pace is much stronger and more resilient than any breathwork you can do. For many, the anxiety peaks into a panic attack, IBS issues, back pain, addiction, or relationship problems.

“Why is this? Why doesn’t the deep breathing or sleep tracking work?” People often ask. “I must not be diligent enough. I’ll double down on my tracking and be more strict about meditation.”

I see this cycle all the time in my practice. Clients treat their anxiety like a tumor they must remove, or an invasive ivy they must uproot before it takes over. It’s an aggressive metaphor in which we battle against anxiety to try to achieve peace.

Using a battle metaphor profoundly shapes the way we see the problem. In this metaphor, anxiety acts as a villain we need to defeat.

There’s a historical reason some people use a battle metaphor to understand their anxiety.

Early experiences impact your perspective on anxiety

This isn’t your first time handling anxiety, not by a long shot.

Your first time handling anxiety was when you were a baby. You’d cry, you’d get scared, and you learned a certain way to manage yourself in tandem with your caregivers. For some, they learned an aggressive way to handle anxiety – called avoidant attachment.

These children learned that when in distress, it was their crying that was the main problem to be fixed. “Stop crying or else something bad will happen” was the message reverberating in their minds. Instead of focusing on solving the larger reason for their tears, their parents focused on turning off the tears.

This strategy teaches a child that their cries aren’t actually useful for solving a problem. They learn to see their cries as unhelpful and disgusting to others, not as signals that something is needing attention.

The kid with a splinter who cries out and is dismissed may end up with an infected toe.
The boy who bites their lip to keep from crying when they’ve been rejected at school may fail to elicit their parent’s support to make new friends.
The young adult who learns to silence their own cries after being unfairly treated by a partner will lock themselves into a hellish relationship.
The adult who silences their anxiety may be completely unaware of the ways their life is needing care and mending.

Instead of deep breathing, reframe your perspective on anxiety

Anxiety is not the villain. It’s actually the signal that will point you toward healing.

I’m aware how that sounds: woo-woo, therapy speak, lofty. But consider it with me for a minute. The reason tamping down a fire alarm doesn’t work is because when there’s smoke, the fire alarm will sound – it’s doing its job to point you toward the fire.

Anxiety is a signal. It’s fear. It’s telling you you’re feeling unsafe where you are. If we even make this small shift, what starts to come into focus? Why might you feel unsafe? What might feel threatened or fragile or lost in your life?

Take a moment to think on these questions.

Sometimes the answer is immediately apparent: a current relationship, or work stress, or direct worries about finances or job stability. Other times the worry is less apparent: There’s a sense of instability, but you can’t pin it on your current situation. Our minds are incredibly intuitive. Most of the time, our fear response precedes our rational mind. Anniversaries of difficult moments, reaching the age our parents were when a major crisis hit, our own kids reminding us of past trauma, our friends’ situations reminding us of our own pain that needs attention.

Instead of deep breathing, cultivate curiosity about where your anxiety is leading you

Curiosity is the right stance. You want to be in an open, curious stance toward your anxiety, as this will lead you toward security and healing.

In fact, you want more than to constantly combat and suppress your anxiety. You want more than constant vigilance about your anxiety. Not only does it not work – it’s overwhelming and frustrating. What you really want is security. Here’s what that looks like:

Secure People Identify Their Pain

Secure people are adept at recognizing when something isn’t right. They don’t see pain as an enemy but as information. They notice the signs of anxiety not as failures but as prompts to dive deeper into what might be causing distress.

Secure People Soothe Themselves

Instead of suppressing their feelings, secure individuals learn self-soothing techniques. This process is something natural to our nervous system. Secure people develop a calming internal presence that reassures them of their value and their safety.

Secure People Ask for Help

Understanding that no one can manage everything alone, secure people reach out for support when needed. This could mean talking to friends, consulting with therapists, or joining support groups where they can share and learn from others’ experiences. On a more immediate level, they express what they feel and get support then needed.

Secure People Create a Plan

Once they understand their anxiety, secure individuals take proactive steps. They don’t just name their feelings and move on. Instead, they listen to their anxiety as feedback about things that might need to change, they set expectations in relationships and work, they plan breaks and self-care activities, and they confront conflicts directly to get resolution. All in all, they listen to their feelings to help them discern a plan for enhancing overall life satisfaction.

Secure People Help Others

Finally, secure people often extend their understanding and skills to help others. By sharing what they’ve learned, they contribute to a community of support, teaching others how to navigate their own anxieties. This not only helps others but reinforces their own sense of security and belonging.

Anxiety will lead you toward health

Instead of treating anxiety like it’s some intruder to be expelled, and suppressing it with deep breathing, let’s consider it more like that annoying alarm clock that never seems to let you snooze. It’s irritating, yes, but it’s also trying to wake you up to something important. It’s time we stop fighting the signal and start listening to what it’s got to say.

So, when anxiety next comes knocking, don’t immediately reach for the bolt. Maybe sit with it for a bit, hear it out. You might just discover that what you thought was an enemy is actually your mind’s way of telling you where you need to look next for healing.

I help people with anxiety with psychoanalytic psychotherapy

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Anxiety, Healthy Relationships, Managing emotions

End People-Pleasing: How to Reclaim Your Voice and Relationships

Written by John Allan Whitacre

People-Pleasing is exhausting

Wrestling with the urge to please others can lead you to say yes when you often want to say no. Whether it’s a boss who overlooks your limits or a partner whose disappointment feels unbearable, many people feel pressured to prioritize others’ happiness over their own. This tendency is rooted in a desire for approval, fear of rejection, and conflict avoidance. While it may seem minor, people-pleasing can heighten anxiety, lead to burnout, and foster resentment in relationships.

As a therapist, I’ve seen how chronic people-pleasing can erode self-esteem, create burnout, and lead to resentment. The good news? You can break free from this cycle. Here’s a guide to understanding and overcoming people-pleasing, so you can reclaim your voice and live authentically.

People-Pleasing is a survival strategy

At its core, people-pleasing is a survival strategy. It often stems from childhood experiences where approval and compliance were necessary for safety, love, or acceptance. You may have learned that in stressful situations, your family needed you to be the rescuer/caretaker of the family. Over time, this behavior can solidify into a belief that your worth is tied to how much you can give or how well you can meet others’ expectations.

You may have received recognition or continue to receive praise for your people-pleasing tendencies. You might be known in your community as “a selfless giver” or as the friend who is available “day and night.” While these qualities may appear admirable, they often come at the expense of your well-being, personal boundaries, and authentic self.

People-pleasing can cause a painful cycle of over-accommodating people you are in relationships with. This can lead to resentment toward your partner and an inability to state your needs in the relationship.

Signs of people-pleasing:

Difficulty saying no – You feel guilty or anxious when setting boundaries.
Constantly seeking approval – Your self-worth depends on others’ validation.
Avoiding conflict at all costs – You prioritize peace over expressing your true feelings.
Overcommitting – You stretch yourself too thin to meet others’ needs.
Neglecting your needs – Your desires and well-being take a backseat.

The Cost of People-pleasing

While accommodating others may feel rewarding in the short term, the long-term impact can be detrimental. Chronic people-pleasing can lead to:

Emotional exhaustion and burnout
Suppressed anger or resentment
A weakened sense of self
Strained relationships due to unspoken needs and expectations

It is fascinating to me that the very thing we get external validation for is also the thing that leads to further hurt and strain in our relationships. In your need to accommodate other people’s needs and feelings, you end up missing one of the most powerful elements of relationships: reciprocity. Breaking free starts with recognizing these costs and making a conscious choice to prioritize your well-being.

Strategies to Overcome People-Pleasing

Understand Your Triggers Reflect on situations that prompt people-pleasing. Is it fear of rejection? A need for control? Awareness is the first step toward change.
Challenge Limiting Beliefs Replace thoughts like “I must make everyone happy” with affirmations such as “My needs are valid, too.”
Practice Saying No Start small. Politely decline requests that overextend you. For example, “I can’t take that on right now, but thank you for thinking of me.”
Set Clear Boundaries Identify your limits and communicate them assertively. Remember, boundaries are not about pushing others away but protecting your energy.
Embrace Discomfort Saying no or setting boundaries might feel uncomfortable initially. Lean into this discomfort as a sign of growth.
Reprioritize Yourself Regularly ask, “What do I need right now?” and honor the answer, even if it means disappointing others.
Seek Support Share your journey with trusted friends, a support group, or a therapist. External validation can reinforce your progress.

For Every Giver there is a Taker

A lot of people-pleasers experience a relationship in their childhood where they were asked to give up their needs in pursuit of meeting another person’s needs. This relationship creates an imbalance, leading you to suppress your needs because you believe they are burdensome to others.

In many relationships, especially those involving a people-pleaser, there can be an unhealthy dynamic where one party takes more than they give. Individuals who have unmet attachment needs might rely on others to fulfill them without recognizing the emotional labor or contributions of those they rely on. This can lead to a one-sided relationship where the people-pleaser feels compelled to constantly accommodate the other person’s desires, often at the expense of their own well-being.

This cycle becomes detrimental over time. The people-pleaser may feel overwhelmed and depleted, while the other individual remains unaware or indifferent to the imbalance. The people-pleaser must take a step back and evaluate this dynamic. Having an open and honest conversation about the relationship’s dynamics is vital. They should express their feelings and concerns, emphasizing the need for mutual recognition and support.

A helpful experiment to gauge the relationship’s strength is to begin asserting personal needs more clearly—especially by saying “no” when it’s necessary. Observing the response to this shift can provide insights into how the other person values the relationship. If they react positively and start to accommodate your needs as well, it might indicate a healthy foundation. Conversely, if they respond negatively or attempt to manipulate you back into your previous accommodating role, it can signal that the relationship may not be as balanced or sustainable as desired. Prioritizing one’s own needs is essential in any relationship, as it fosters mutual respect and emotional health for both individuals involved.

Strive for Reciprocal Relationships

One of the most beautiful aspects of relationships is reciprocity, where both partners are acknowledged for their needs. In a reciprocal relationship, each values the other’s feelings, thoughts, and desires, creating a balanced dynamic that fosters understanding and support. This mutual recognition not only strengthens the bond between partners but also enhances their ability to communicate effectively and resolve conflicts. Ultimately, reciprocity ensures that both individuals feel seen and appreciated, allowing the relationship to flourish in a nurturing environment.

Setting boundaries is another key aspect. Establishing limits on what one is willing to give can create space for both individuals to communicate their needs more effectively. It also fosters a healthier exchange of support and care.

These sorts of changes take time. Systems, habits, and relational patterns are hard to recorrect. If efforts to address the dynamic in your relationships don’t lead to any improvement, it might be necessary to reassess the relationship’s viability. Ending a relationship is never easy, but if it consistently undermines one’s self-worth and happiness, it might be the best course of action.

Breaking free from people-pleasing is not about becoming selfish; it’s about becoming self-aware and self-compassionate. As you practice prioritizing your needs, you’ll find that your relationships deepen and your sense of self strengthens. Over time, you’ll discover the freedom and joy of living authentically.

Your Worth is Measured by Reciprocity

Your worth is not measured by how much you do for others, it’s measured by your ability to honor yourself while building relationships rooted in mutual respect and reciprocity. Take small, consistent steps toward reclaiming your voice—you deserve it.

Are you feeling burnt out in your relationships, struggling with anger or resentment, or finding it hard to navigate strained connections due to people pleasing? Your needs are worth the time and space in therapy. Reach out now to schedule a call with me and start your journey toward healing.

Couples therapy in Pasadena with John Allan Whitacre, AMFT

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Anxiety, Somatic Exercises

How to Teach Your Body to Best Calm Your Anxiety

Written by Here Counseling

All of us have behaviors that we unconsciously act out when we are worried. For example, if you are concerned about the state of affairs in the world, you might reach for a snack, which results in a distraction from your anxiety. Sometimes, our unconscious behaviors actually double our worry, like when we are concerned about getting a task completed so we fidget with our hands and ruminate over it, going over all the possible things that could go wrong, which results in us feeling more scared and stressed. But your body can actually help alleviate anxiety!

The behaviors attached to anxiety start out as comforting because they give us the sense that we are DOING SOMETHING with our worry, rather than just wallowing in it. These behaviors are also easier to recognize than underlying stressors because they show up in our body. We can use behaviors as signals for our deeper feelings, and work backwards from them to understand and lessen anxiety.

Noticing and changing the behaviors associated with anxiety is a somatic intervention that can unwind the coping methods that we have developed, which no loner serve us. Here are three steps you can take to understand how anxiety shows up in your body, unhook from old habits, and create new patterns that lessen your activation.

1. Notice your body’s actions

If you’re anxious, make a mental note of your body’s actions. Observe your heart racing, the tightness in your throat, your impulse to clean, or play with your hair. Name the action.

2. Notice the emotion attached to the somatic action

Look underneath the action for the hidden emotion. For example, while you tap your pen repeatedly on the desk, see if you can locate the feeling connected with that movement, like fear, overwhelm, or self doubt. Hold that feeling with compassion. Name the emotion.

3. Do something else with your body

Without judgement, get present with the action and emotion. Drop into the moment and breathe. Then, put your body into a different position. You can yawn, stretch, clasp your hands together, walk, jump, dance. Simply doing a different action can reorganize the anxious energy and direct you to a more secure place. Visualize the anxiety shifting as your body shifts.

Remember, your body is yours! If you want to move it, you can. Sometimes, emotions feel like they have taken over but your body is capable of redirecting emotions to feel less powerful. Your body is an amazing organic machine. Let it do what it is meant to do, move!

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woman managing her schedule to become less exhausted

Anxiety

Never Ending To-Do List? How to End Exhaustion and Be More Energized

Written by Kristi Wollbrink

We all like things to be full. There is something that comes alive in me when I have a full plate of food, or see that my movie popcorn is overflowing with buttery goodness. It’s also certain that most people love the feeling of a full bank account after payday.

The same feeling of satisfaction can happen with scheduling. We think we’ll feel excited when we fill weeks full of meetings and tasks and the plethora of calendar to-dos. This satisfaction that happens when we see our popcorn bucket overflowing may very well also come alive when we have a day filled with activity. Yet in the midst of this sense of purpose and satisfaction that comes with a week full of to-dos, there is often moments when we find ourselves exhausted and desperate for a way to escape or shut down rather than enjoying all the things that our schedules may hold.

Why we exhaust ourselves with scheduling.

This delight may be just the thing that keeps us filling our daily schedules and calendars. Yet, there is this reality that while we keep finding our agenda full to the brim we may simultaneously be noticing just how exhausting this is. This often creates a space that is desperate to slow down.

If we ignore this deep need to slow down it lead to seeking relief in any way we can.

Having a full calendar and what feels like an endless list of things to accomplish may very well be the thing that has kept you moving forward and able to be the successful student or employee that you are. There are many benefits of having a healthy level of commitments and the impact of this on feelings of satisfaction and happiness. It is often our weekly routines and commitments that give a sense of security and accomplishment which connect into feelings of purpose and value.

But there is a limit to how much of this continual pressure we are able to sustain and still maintain our own well-being.

When we find ourselves feeling like the hamster wheel of life has no way out, these are the moments when our natural instinct will lead us to seek out relief in any way that it can.

How to notice when you are overwhelmed by demands.

Some signs that you may be facing an overwhelming sense of commitments and pressure in your daily life may be:

You notice yourself fantasizing about ways to escape from the stress.
You notice an increase in unwanted patterns of things like substance use, spending, or binge media consumption.
You are more prone to isolating and withdraw from your normal daily activities.
You are experiencing feelings of hopelessness and worry that things will never change.

These may be signs that you may need to lower the load of these demands and begin to take time to notice your own needs. It can sometimes feel selfish to let yourselves move away from the feverish pace of commitments and tasks toward creating space to simply care for your own needs.

The drive to continually show up and care for others can deter us from allowing space we need to care for ourselves .

Taking steps to notice your needs and to let yourselves receive support and care, can help to relieve these patterns of uncontrolled fantasy and escape that keep creeping in.

3 Scheduling Tips to Reduce Exhaustion and Regain Energy

1. Plan regular ways to escape

It is so important to allow space to indulge. This is a way to allow our inner self to feel a sense of being held and cared for. If we don’t plan for this we will find ourselves suddenly out of control in these spaces of self indulgence and instead find these in really unhealthy ways. It is important to plan in regular times of enjoyment for yourself. These don’t have to be huge. Something like, “tonight I am going to take time to slow down to enjoy my glass of wine” or “I’m going to take 10 extra minutes to read my novel, just for fun” may be absolutely enough to help you feel less overwhelmed with the regular stresses.

2. Be adaptable

Being able to consider what you are able to accomplish can be a really valuable tool to help yourself learn how to manage your daily responsibilities. It can be really hard to allow ourselves the space to consider that our capacity for certain tasks may change. How we respond to these feelings and changes is a really caring way to increase a more compassionate way to care for yourself each day. Things like, “I normally feel great about going out with co-workers for Friday happy hour, but today feels a little more scattered for me. I think I’m going to go home and enjoy a quieter night instead.” Noticing what we are experiencing and choosing how to respond can take us to a place of feeling a greater sense of hopefulness and care.

3. Practice letting go of your schedule, even for a short while.

It can be really hard to step away from the things that feel so pressing – work, kids, family, health. The simple practice of choosing to step away from the daily pressures can provide just what you need to begin to learn how to lessen the effects of pending burnout. This could look as simple as:

choosing to turn off your phone as you spend time with a friend
sitting in stillness at a park during your lunch break
allowing yourself one day of the week that is a non-work day where you choose to do only things that are non-work related

Whatever it is, let yourself notice what it is like to pause, even for a few moments. This can help us later while we are in these moments of high stress and to be able to do things with a little more ease. Small pauses can help connect us to the reality that we can take a pause and things will still go on. This can increase a feeling of freedom to notice the continual pressure and to feel less overwhelmed.

Taking a few simple steps to shift how you arrange your day or week will allows you the space to regain a sense of balance that you so deeply need.

Sometimes it can be hard to know where to even begin the process of noticing what we need and taking the steps to get there. If you are experiencing a sense of stress and overload that feels unbearable, it may be helpful to have support in the journey toward finding what you need. I would love to help you in your journey. Let’s set up a time for a consultation call to help you begin toward finding what you need most!

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