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Trauma therapy in Pasadena exposure is essential

Anxiety, EMDR, Managing emotions, Somatic Exercises

Trauma Thrives in the Dark: Why You Need Exposure Therapy

Trauma hurts. You know the ache of wanting to escape the pain, to silence the memories, or to build walls around the parts of your life that feel too overwhelming to face. It’s only natural to wish for a way to heal without having to relive the hurt—to somehow remove the trauma without ever looking at it again. But here’s the hard truth: healing from trauma requires confronting the pain. It’s not about avoiding or suppressing it; it’s about facing it head-on in a safe, supported way. This process, known as exposure, is the key to reclaiming your life from trauma’s grip.

In this article, we’ll explore why exposure is essential in trauma therapy, backed by the latest research and real-world examples. We’ll also look at why avoidance—though understandable—keeps trauma alive and how therapy can guide you through the process of healing.

“But why should I have to feel worse to feel better?”

When trauma strikes, the instinct to protect yourself is powerful. You might find yourself doing everything possible to avoid the pain—setting rigid boundaries around “toxic” triggers, numbing with substances or distractions, or even approaching therapy with the hope of silencing the hurt without ever truly facing it. These are common defenses, and they make sense. After all, who wouldn’t want to bypass the agony of reliving a traumatic experience? We wish we could “lobotomize” the trauma, excise it like a tumor, or create an impenetrable fortress around it so it never touches us again.

But avoidance, while offering temporary relief, keeps the trauma alive, festering beneath the surface. Let’s dive into some of the most common ways people try to sidestep their pain—and why these strategies, though well-intentioned, often backfire.

Face Trauma with Support—Not Fear

Exposure therapy helps you gently confront what you’ve been avoiding, in a safe and supportive space. Begin healing with an experienced therapist in Los Angeles or Pasadena.

Common Ways People Avoid Confronting Trauma

1. Boundaries as Avoidance

Boundaries are essential for healthy relationships, but when used to avoid trauma, they can become rigid barriers that limit your life more than they protect it. For example, someone who experienced abuse in a childhood home might refuse to visit their hometown, even if it means missing family gatherings or reconnecting with loved ones.

This avoidance extends beyond physical spaces—someone who survived a workplace assault might quit their job or avoid professional networking events, labeling them “unsafe.” While setting boundaries can feel empowering, overusing them to dodge trauma-related triggers shrinks your world, and doesn’t provide the intended relief. Instead of reclaiming agency, you hand control to the trauma, letting it dictate where you go and what you do, often leading to isolation or missed opportunities.

2. Addiction and Suppression

When trauma’s pain feels unbearable, many turn to substances or behaviors to numb it. Alcohol, drugs, overeating, or compulsive habits like gaming or social media scrolling can become ways to suppress emotions tied to trauma. For instance, a person haunted by memories of a car accident might drink heavily each evening to avoid intrusive thoughts, only to face heightened anxiety when sober. Another might throw themselves into work, filling every hour with tasks to escape the grief of a loss.

These habits offer a temporary escape, but they don’t resolve the trauma—they delay it. Over time, suppression can spiral into addiction, adding new layers of struggle that complicate healing and reinforce the trauma’s hold.

3. Denial

Denial is a defense mechanism where you refuse to acknowledge the trauma or its impact. Someone who endured childhood neglect might say, “My parents were busy—it didn’t affect me,” despite struggling with chronic distrust or low self-worth. A survivor of a natural disaster might insist, “I’m fine; I got through it,” while battling unexplained panic attacks. Denial feels like a way to stay strong, but it’s a fragile shield.

By burying the trauma, you allow it to manifest indirectly—through irritability, difficulty connecting with others, or even physical symptoms like insomnia. This avoidance prevents you from processing the experience, keeping the pain alive beneath a veneer of “everything’s okay.”

4. Intellectualization

Intellectualization involves focusing on the logical or factual aspects of trauma to avoid its emotional weight. A person who survived a violent incident might research crime statistics obsessively, noting, “The odds of it happening again are low,” without ever addressing the fear that lingers. Another might describe their trauma in detached terms, like a case study—“It was an event that disrupted my routine”—to sidestep the grief or anger it evokes.

This mental distance can feel like control, but it’s a form of avoidance. By staying in the realm of analysis, you bypass the emotional processing needed for healing, leaving the trauma’s deeper impact untouched.

5. Approaching Therapy as a Silencer

Even therapy can become a tool for avoidance if approached with the wrong expectations. Some people enter treatment hoping for a quick fix—a technique or medication to erase the pain without engaging with it. For example, a client might focus solely on symptom relief, like stopping nightmares, without exploring the memories behind them. Others might seek therapy to “move on” without confronting the trauma, expecting the therapist to magically remove it.

This mindset treats therapy as a way to silence distress rather than a space to process it. While symptom management is important, true healing requires facing the pain, not bypassing it, which can be a challenging but necessary shift in perspective.

These avoidance tactics are survival strategies, born from a need to feel safe. But they’re short-term fixes that prolong trauma’s power, keeping you stuck in a cycle of fear, numbness, or disconnection.

Research Supports it: Exposure is Essential for Healing

Healing from trauma isn’t about forgetting or suppressing—it’s about integrating the experience so it no longer controls you. Exposure therapy, a cornerstone of trauma treatment, involves gradually and safely confronting the memories, emotions, or situations that trigger distress. It’s not about reliving the trauma recklessly; it’s about processing it in a controlled, therapeutic setting with support. Research underscores why this approach is critical for lasting recovery.

What the Science Says

A 2024 study in JAMA Psychiatry examined virtual reality exposure therapy (VRET) combined with transcranial direct current stimulation (tDCS) for military veterans with PTSD. Participants engaged with simulated trauma-related scenarios, like combat zones, in a safe environment. The study found a significant reduction in symptoms—over 50%—with benefits persisting a month after treatment (JAMA Psychiatry Article). This shows that controlled exposure can desensitize the brain’s fear response, making traumatic memories less overwhelming.

Similarly, a 2024 Heliyon review of trauma treatment models emphasized that exposure is the backbone of effective therapy. The authors argued that avoiding exposure oversimplifies trauma’s emotional complexity, citing examples like a refugee whose panic attacks lessened after guided exposure to memories of displacement (Heliyon Review).

All therapy is exposure therapy

Essentially, all therapy is exposure therapy to some degree. The healing power of any therapeutic approach lies in its ability to create a safe space where you can revisit the experiences that frighten you most. Whether it’s talking through a memory in talk therapy, processing emotions in EMDR, or reflecting on past pain in psychodynamic work, therapy invites you to face what you’ve avoided.

This controlled re-engagement helps you reclaim power over your story, transforming fear into understanding. By approaching pain with support, therapy ensures you’re not overwhelmed, making exposure the universal thread that weaves healing across all modalities.

Exposure is how we learn resilience and maturity

Exposure isn’t just a therapy tool—it’s how we learn resilience. Take a child afraid of the dark: they might start with every light on, terrified of shadows. A parent introduces a nightlight, then dims it over weeks, exposing the child to increasing darkness. Eventually, the child sleeps comfortably without fear. This gradual process mirrors trauma therapy, where small, supported steps build strength to face what once felt impossible.

How Exposure Rewires the Brain

When you avoid trauma triggers, your brain interprets them as ongoing threats, keeping your nervous system in survival mode. Exposure therapy disrupts this cycle. By facing the trauma in manageable doses—through talking, imagining, or controlled scenarios—you teach your brain that the danger is past. This reduces the intensity of fear responses and helps integrate fragmented memories, allowing you to move forward with less emotional weight.

Why Avoidance Keeps Trauma Alive

Avoidance might feel like protection, but it’s a trap. Sidestepping trauma-related thoughts or feelings signals to your brain that they’re still dangerous, reinforcing a cycle of distress. Over time, this can lead to:

Increased Anxiety: Avoiding places tied to trauma, like a crowded mall after an assault, can make even the idea of going there trigger panic.
Emotional Numbness: Suppressing grief might dull joy, leaving you disconnected from loved ones.
Physical Symptoms: Unprocessed trauma can manifest as tension headaches or fatigue, lingering until the pain is faced.

Exposure, by contrast, rewires this response. It’s like teaching a child to swim by starting in shallow water—they learn the water isn’t a threat. In therapy, you learn the trauma isn’t your present, freeing you from its grip.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)

Why is exposure important in trauma therapy?

Exposure helps process traumatic memories, reducing their emotional hold. Avoiding them strengthens trauma’s grip, while facing it safely with a therapist rewires fear responses, fostering lasting healing.

What are the benefits of exposure in trauma therapy?

Reduces Fear: Lowers anxiety tied to triggers.
Integrates Memories: Makes fragmented experiences feel whole.
Boosts Resilience: Builds confidence in handling distress.
Eases Physical Pain: Relieves trauma’s bodily toll.

How does exposure work in trauma therapy?

It’s a gradual process—talking about the trauma, imagining it, or using guided techniques—at a pace you can handle, always supported by a professional to ensure safety.

The Path to Healing: Facing Pain with Support

Confronting trauma is tough, but it’s the road to freedom. Therapy—whether talk-based or EMDR—offers a safe space to face your pain without being overwhelmed. You don’t have to do it alone. With support, you can transform that raw wound into a source of strength, rewriting your story with hope.

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Key Citations

APA Trauma Information Page

JAMA Psychiatry Article on VR and tDCS for PTSD

Heliyon Review on Advancing Trauma Studies

Anxiety, EMDR, Managing emotions, Podcast, Somatic Exercises

[VIDEO] How EMDR Therapy Works To Heal Generational Wounds

Written by herecounseling

Trauma has a way of embedding itself not just in our own lives but also in the stories and legacies passed down through generations. The idea of confronting this pain can feel overwhelming—our instinct is to avoid the discomfort, to stay within the safety of what we know. Yet, avoiding trauma doesn’t make it disappear; it allows it to linger, affecting us and those who come after us. EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) offers a structured, safe way to face these buried wounds with the support of a therapist, providing a path to personal healing and the chance to break the cycle of generational trauma.

In this article, we’ll explore why confronting trauma is so challenging, how EMDR helps us overcome that challenge, and the profound benefits it offers—not just for ourselves but for our larger family stories.

What is EMDR?

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing

EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, a therapy initially developed by Francine Shapiro in the 1980s. Shapiro stumbled upon its foundations by accident: while walking and feeling distressed, she noticed her eyes moving left to right and felt a sudden relief. This observation sparked decades of research, transforming EMDR into an evidence-based treatment, particularly effective for PTSD, but also valuable for anxiety, depression, and even sports performance.

Break the Cycle of Generational Trauma

EMDR therapy helps you process inherited pain and create a new path forward. Start healing with a skilled EMDR therapist in Los Angeles or Pasadena today.

The EMDR Process: A Structured Path to Healing Trauma

EMDR is more than just eye movements—it’s a comprehensive therapy built on trust, preparation, and a clear protocol to process trauma safely.

Building Safety and Skills

The journey begins with one to three sessions focused on establishing a relationship with the therapist and equipping the client with coping tools. Dana Carretta-Stein, a licensed therapist and EMDR specialist, emphasizes this preparation: “My job is to make you uncomfortable because if we don’t feel something, we can’t heal it.” These initial steps ensure clients feel secure and ready to face their pain.

Processing with Bilateral Stimulation

The core of EMDR involves bilateral stimulation—such as following a light bar with the eyes, hearing alternating sounds, or feeling vibrations in the hands—while recalling traumatic memories. This dual attention helps the brain reprocess the experience, reducing its emotional charge. Clients might notice a rise in discomfort followed by a release, often marked by a sigh or a shift in posture, signaling healing in action.

“But I don’t want to deal with my trauma”

The Instinct to Avoid Discomfort

Confronting trauma is hard because it hurts. “A comfort zone is a beautiful thing, but nothing ever grows there,” Carretta-Stein notes. Our natural response is to push away pain, fearing it will overwhelm us. Many start therapy with hope but hesitate when subconscious barriers emerge, worried that facing the trauma will make things worse before they get better.

Yet Avoidance has a Hidden Cost

Avoidance offers temporary relief, but it perpetuates the problem. Unresolved trauma can manifest as anxiety, depression, or physical symptoms, and it doesn’t stop with us—it can ripple through generations. EMDR addresses this by providing a structured environment where discomfort is expected and managed, allowing clients to move through it rather than around it.

What is Generational Trauma?

The Legacy of Pain Passed Down

Generational trauma is the idea that trauma’s effects—emotional, behavioral, or even genetic—can be transmitted across family lines. Research suggests that experiences can alter gene expression, meaning the pain of a grandparent might echo in their descendants. Carretta-Stein shares a personal example: during her pregnancy, she experienced a visceral panic, later tracing it to a family history of grief and loss that spanned generations.

EMDR can be a Tool for Healing Generational Trauma

Facing Inherited Pain with Support

EMDR excels at addressing generational trauma by allowing individuals to process not just their own experiences but the emotional baggage handed down to them. With a therapist’s guidance, clients can confront these memories in a safe space, using bilateral stimulation to reprocess and release the pain. “When you work through stuff, you don’t just heal yourself, you heal past generations and future ones,” Carretta-Stein explains.

The Benefits of EMDR Therapy

Personal Relief and Resilience

EMDR brings tangible relief: reduced symptoms, deeper insights, and a sense of letting go. Clients often feel lighter, as if a burden has lifted. “People start to heal the moment they feel heard,” Carretta-Stein says, highlighting the power of being seen and understood in therapy.

Healing Trauma is a Gift to Family and Beyond

The impact extends beyond the individual. By confronting and overcoming trauma, we prevent it from being passed on, fostering healthier relationships and communities. This dual benefit—personal healing and a transformed legacy—makes EMDR a powerful tool for those willing to face the discomfort.

Confronting trauma, especially one woven into your family’s history, takes courage. The discomfort is real, but so is the potential for transformation. EMDR provides a structured, relational approach to make this possible, ensuring you’re not alone on the journey. If you’re ready to explore this path, consider reaching out to a trained therapist. For more insight, Carretta-Stein’s EMDR Therapy Progress Journal, available on Amazon or DanaCorretta.com, offers a helpful starting point.

Trauma isolates us, but healing reconnects us—to ourselves, our past, and our future. With EMDR, you can turn pain into possibility, for you and the generations that follow.

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Anxiety, EMDR, Managing emotions, Podcast, Somatic Exercises

[VIDEO] Why Trauma Effects Some People and Not Others: How to Give Yourself The Best Chance at Recovery with Trauma Therapy

Written by herecounseling

What is trauma and how is it different from PTSD?

Trauma is a deeply distressing experience that can leave lasting scars on the mind and body. It’s like a storm that upends your world, leaving you to pick up the pieces. For many, the aftermath of trauma is a daily battle, filled with emotional turbulence, physical exhaustion, and a sense of disconnection from the life they once knew. If you’ve ever wondered, what is trauma and how is it different from PTSD?, you’re not alone. Understanding the distinction is key to recognizing when to seek help and how to begin the healing process.

In this article, we’ll explore the nature of trauma, its most common symptoms, and how it impacts daily life. We’ll use an analogy of a dam overflowing with water to explain how trauma occurs and why some people develop PTSD while others do not. We’ll also delve into the research-backed differences between those who engage in trauma therapy and those who do not, highlighting the importance of social support in recovery. For those seeking trauma therapy in Pasadena or elsewhere, this guide will provide valuable insights into the healing journey.

What is trauma?
What are the common symptoms of trauma?
How trauma is like a dam
The impact of trauma therapy
Trauma therapy options

What Does Trauma Feel Like? Common Symptoms and Their Impact

Trauma can manifest in a variety of ways, often leaving survivors feeling like they’re navigating a minefield of emotional and physical triggers. The symptoms can be overwhelming, but understanding them is the first step toward reclaiming control. Here are some of the most common symptoms of trauma and how they impact a person’s life:

1. Flashbacks

These are vivid, involuntary memories of the traumatic event. A flashback can feel like you’re reliving the moment, causing intense fear or panic. For example, a veteran might hear a car backfire and suddenly feel as though they’re back on the battlefield. This can disrupt daily routines, making it hard to focus on work or enjoy time with loved ones.

Trauma Is Personal—So Is Your Healing

Everyone responds to trauma differently. Get the support you need to heal in a way that works for you. Compassionate trauma therapy is available in Los Angeles and Pasadena.

2. Nightmares

Trauma often invades sleep, leading to recurring nightmares that disrupt rest and heighten anxiety. This can result in chronic fatigue and a sense of dread around bedtime, leaving survivors exhausted and less equipped to handle daily challenges.

3. Anxiety and Hypervigilance

Survivors may feel constantly on edge, scanning their environment for potential threats. This state of hyperarousal can make it difficult to relax, concentrate, or engage in everyday activities like socializing or driving, turning ordinary moments into sources of stress.

4. Depression

Trauma can lead to feelings of hopelessness, guilt, or numbness. Survivors might withdraw from social interactions, lose interest in hobbies, or struggle with a pervasive sense of sadness, which can strain relationships and diminish their quality of life.

5. Avoidance

Many trauma survivors avoid places, people, or situations that remind them of the event. While this can provide temporary relief, it often limits their ability to live fully—perhaps avoiding a favorite park or skipping family gatherings—leading to isolation and missed opportunities.

6. Physical Symptoms

Trauma doesn’t just affect the mind—it can also cause headaches, muscle tension, gastrointestinal issues, and a weakened immune system. These physical manifestations can make it harder to stay healthy or perform at work, adding another layer of struggle. This is because emotions like chronic anxiety are directly tied to our bodily state. When we hold that state (such as high muscle tension associated with anxiety) it changes the long-term structure of our bodies.

Each of these symptoms can make daily life feel like an uphill battle. Simple tasks, like going to work or socializing, may become daunting. Relationships can suffer as survivors struggle to connect with others while managing their internal turmoil. Over time, the weight of these symptoms can feel unbearable. Many people who have experienced any of these symptoms rightly wonder why their bodies respond this way and if it will ever change.

The Overflowing Dam: Defining Trauma

Why do some people experience trauma and not others, even following the same painful experience? To better understand how trauma happens, imagine a dam holding back a reservoir of water. The dam represents your coping mechanisms, social support, and emotional security—everything that helps you manage stress and return to a state of safety. The water symbolizes the stressors in your life, whether they’re everyday challenges or major life events.

Under normal circumstances, the dam holds strong. The water (stress) flows in, but your coping strategies and support systems contain it, preventing it from overwhelming you. However, when a stressor is too intense or prolonged—such as a traumatic event—the water surges, and the dam can no longer hold it back. The water spills over, flooding the surrounding area. This overflow is what we call trauma.

This concept is called allostatic load, which refers to the cumulative wear and tear on the body and mind when stress exceeds our ability to cope.

Then why do some have a trauma response and others don’t?

When the load becomes too great, our systems are overwhelmed, leading to trauma. Trauma, then, is not just about the event itself but about how it overwhelms our capacity to process and integrate the experience. It’s the point at which our emotional and psychological defenses are breached, leaving us feeling helpless, vulnerable, and unsafe.

In this way, trauma has to do with both the amount of “water” and the capacity of the “dam”. When a person has adequate coping skills, social supports, and emotional security (a large dam), they may recover well even from a highly stressful situation (heavy rainfall). When a person is unsupported, however, even the smallest amount of rain will be overwhelming. How a person experiences a traumatic event has to do with both the strength of internal resources and the strength of the stressor.

Trauma vs. PTSD: Key Differences

While trauma refers to the overwhelming experience and its immediate aftermath, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is a specific mental health condition that can develop in some individuals after trauma. Not everyone who experiences trauma will develop PTSD, but for those who do, the symptoms are more persistent and debilitating.

PTSD is characterized by four main clusters of symptoms:

Intrusive memories: Flashbacks, nightmares, or distressing thoughts about the trauma that invade daily life.
Avoidance: Steering clear of reminders of the trauma, such as specific locations or conversations, which can shrink a person’s world.
Negative changes in mood and thinking: Feelings of hopelessness, detachment, or distorted beliefs about oneself or others that darken one’s outlook.
Hyperarousal: Being easily startled, feeling tense, or having difficulty sleeping, keeping the body and mind in a constant state of alert.

Using our dam analogy, if trauma is the moment the dam overflows, PTSD is like the floodwaters that never fully recede. The emotional and psychological impact lingers, and the person remains in a state of heightened distress, unable to return to their pre-trauma baseline. PTSD is a clinical diagnosis, requiring a specific set of symptoms lasting for more than a month, whereas trauma encompasses the broader initial response to an overwhelming event, whether or not it leads to PTSD.

Research consistently shows that social support plays a critical role in whether someone develops PTSD after trauma and how well they recover. Strong social networks can act as a buffer, helping individuals process their experiences and regain a sense of safety. Think of social support as reinforcements for the dam—friends, family, and community members who help shore up your emotional defenses.

Studies have found that:

Individuals with high levels of social support are less likely to develop PTSD and tend to recover more quickly. For example, a study in the Journal of Traumatic Stress showed that survivors of natural disasters with strong community ties had lower PTSD rates.
Conversely, a lack of support can worsen symptoms and prolong recovery, leaving survivors feeling isolated and more vulnerable to the lingering effects of trauma.

This highlights the importance of leaning on trusted loved ones during the healing process. Social support provides emotional validation, practical help, and a sense of belonging—all essential for rebuilding after the dam has been breached.

Trauma Therapy: Research-Backed Benefits

While social support is vital, many trauma survivors benefit from professional intervention, particularly trauma therapy. Evidence-based treatments like Somatic therapy and Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) have been shown to help survivors process their experiences, reduce symptoms, and regain control over their lives.

Research highlights clear differences between those who participate in trauma therapy and those who do not:

Symptom Reduction: Therapy participants often see a significant decrease in PTSD symptoms, such as flashbacks and anxiety, allowing them to reclaim parts of their lives lost to trauma.
Improved Coping Skills: Therapy provides tools to manage triggers and rebuild emotional resilience, empowering survivors to face challenges with greater confidence.
Enhanced Quality of Life: Those who engage in therapy report better relationships, improved work performance, and a greater sense of well-being compared to those who don’t seek help.

A meta-analysis in Clinical Psychology Review found that trauma-focused therapies like Somatic Therapy and EMDR are highly effective. Many participants no longer meeting PTSD criteria after treatment. For those in Pasadena or nearby, seeking trauma therapy in Pasadena can be a crucial step toward healing.

Option 1: Somatic Therapy for Trauma: Healing Through the Body

What is Somatic Therapy?

Somatic therapy is built on the principle that trauma doesn’t just affect the mind—it also gets stored in the body. This approach recognizes the deep connection between physical sensations and emotional experiences, suggesting that unresolved trauma can manifest as tension, pain, or other bodily symptoms. By focusing on these physical cues, somatic therapy aims to help individuals process and release trapped traumatic energy, fostering a sense of safety and wholeness.

Research-Backed Benefits of Somatic Therapy

Studies have demonstrated the effectiveness of somatic therapy for trauma recovery. For instance, research by Levine (2010) on somatic experiencing therapy found it significantly reduced PTSD symptoms in participants. A meta-analysis by van der Kolk et al. (2014) showed that body-oriented therapies can alleviate trauma-related distress, particularly for those who find traditional talk therapy challenging. These findings highlight somatic therapy’s ability to address both the emotional and physical aftermath of trauma.

What to Expect in Somatic Sessions

In a somatic therapy session, you’ll work with a trained therapist to tune into your body’s signals. You might start with a body scan, where you focus on different areas of your body to notice sensations like tightness or discomfort. The therapist may guide you through gentle movements or breathing exercises to release stored tension. Mindfulness practices are also common, helping you stay present and regulate your nervous system. The pace is gentle and tailored to your comfort, with the goal of rebuilding trust in your body’s natural responses.

Option 2: EMDR Therapy for Trauma: Reprocessing Painful Memories

What is EMDR Therapy?

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is a structured psychotherapy designed to help people process traumatic memories that feel “stuck.” Developed by Francine Shapiro in the late 1980s, EMDR uses bilateral stimulation—like guided eye movements or alternating taps—to activate the brain’s ability to reprocess distressing memories. This stimulation mimics the brain’s natural healing during REM sleep, reducing the emotional intensity of the trauma over time.

Research-Backed Benefits of EMDR Therapy

EMDR is widely recognized as an effective trauma treatment, backed by robust research. The American Psychological Association endorses it as a top choice for PTSD, and a meta-analysis by Bisson et al. (2013) found it matches cognitive-behavioral therapy in reducing symptoms—sometimes working faster. Studies suggest EMDR can lessen the grip of flashbacks and anxiety, offering relief in fewer sessions for some, making it a powerful option for trauma survivors.

What to Expect in EMDR Sessions

An EMDR session typically lasts 60-90 minutes and follows a clear structure. You’ll begin by identifying a specific traumatic memory and the negative beliefs tied to it (e.g., “I’m powerless”). Then, while holding that memory in mind, you’ll engage in bilateral stimulation—perhaps following your therapist’s finger with your eyes or listening to alternating tones. This process repeats in short sets until the memory feels less overwhelming. Your therapist will check in regularly, ensuring you feel supported. Over multiple sessions, EMDR aims to transform how you experience that memory, easing its emotional weight.

Rebuilding After the Storm

Trauma is a profound and often life-altering experience, but it doesn’t have to define your future. By understanding the nature of trauma, recognizing its symptoms, and seeking the right support—whether through social networks or professional therapy—you can begin to rebuild your emotional dam and reclaim your life.

Healing is not a linear process, and it’s okay to ask for help along the way. Whether you’re grappling with the immediate aftermath of trauma or the long-term effects of PTSD, recovery is possible. With the right tools and support, you can weather the storm and emerge stronger on the other side.

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Anxiety, Healthy Relationships, Neurology, Parenting, Podcast

Attachment Styles: How to Heal the Hidden Lens Shaping Your Relationships

Written by Connor McClenahan

Attachment styles profoundly impact the way you view yourself and your world.

Have you ever wondered why you react the way you do in relationships? Whether it’s a romantic partnership, a friendship, or even a professional connection, the way you form and maintain bonds with others is deeply influenced by something you may not even be aware of: your attachment style. Rooted in early childhood experiences, attachment styles act as a lens through which we view and navigate our relationships. This lens can either clarify or distort how we connect with others, often without us realizing it.

In this article, we’ll explore what attachment styles are, why they matter, and how they impact your life as an adult. We’ll also discuss practical ways to move toward a more secure way of relating to others. By understanding your attachment style, you can gain valuable insights into your relational patterns and take steps to build healthier, more fulfilling connections.

What Are Attachment Styles and Why Do They Matter?

Attachment styles are patterns of behavior, emotion, and thinking that we develop in early childhood based on our interactions with primary caregivers—typically our parents. These patterns form a template for how we approach relationships throughout our lives. The concept of attachment was first introduced by British psychologist John Bowlby, who observed that the bonds formed between children and their caregivers have a profound impact on emotional development and relational behavior.

At its core, attachment is about survival. Human beings are wired to seek safety and security through social bonds. Our brains, particularly the prefrontal cortex, evolved to help us form secure tribes or communities where we feel protected and valued. This need for connection doesn’t fade as we grow older; it simply shifts from parents to peers, partners, and colleagues. However, the way we learned to attach as children continues to influence how we seek and maintain these connections as adults.

Understanding your attachment style is crucial because it affects every relationship you have. It shapes how you handle conflict, express emotions, and perceive the availability of support from others. Fortunately, attachment styles are not set in stone. With self-awareness and effort, you can move toward a more secure way of relating to the world.

The Four Main Attachment Styles

Researchers have identified four primary attachment styles: secure, avoidant, anxious, and disorganized. Each style reflects a different way of perceiving and responding to closeness and emotional needs in relationships.

Secure Attachment: The Foundation of Healthy Relationships

People with a secure attachment style feel comfortable with intimacy and independence. They trust that others will be there for them when needed and are confident in their ability to navigate challenges. In childhood, securely attached individuals typically had caregivers who were responsive, attuned, and consistent in meeting their emotional needs. As adults, they tend to form stable, trusting relationships and are skilled at balancing their own needs with those of others.

Avoidant Attachment: The Struggle with Emotional Closeness

Avoidant attachment develops when caregivers are emotionally distant or dismissive of a child’s needs. As a result, individuals with this style learn to suppress their emotions and rely heavily on self-sufficiency. They often view asking for help as a weakness and may feel uncomfortable with too much closeness. In adult relationships, avoidantly attached people can appear independent and self-reliant, but they may struggle to form deep emotional bonds and often feel isolated.

Anxious Attachment: The Fear of Abandonment

Anxious attachment arises when caregivers are inconsistent—sometimes attentive, sometimes unavailable. This unpredictability leads to heightened anxiety about relationships. Anxiously attached individuals often crave closeness but fear that others will abandon them. They may become overly dependent on their partners, constantly seeking reassurance and validation. In adult relationships, this can manifest as clinginess, jealousy, or difficulty trusting that their partner truly cares.

Disorganized Attachment: The Impact of Chaos and Trauma

Disorganized attachment is the most complex and often stems from traumatic or abusive experiences in childhood. Caregivers in these situations may have been a source of fear rather than comfort, leaving the child confused and without a clear strategy for seeking safety. As adults, individuals with disorganized attachment may exhibit a mix of anxious and avoidant behaviors, often feeling overwhelmed by their emotions and struggling to maintain stable relationships.

How Attachment Styles Impact Adult Relationships

Your attachment style doesn’t just stay in childhood—it follows you into adulthood, influencing how you interact with others in profound ways. Here’s how each style typically manifests in adult relationships:

Secure Attachment: Securely attached adults are generally confident in their relationships. They communicate openly, handle conflict constructively, and trust their partners. They are also comfortable with vulnerability, which allows them to form deep, meaningful connections.
Avoidant Attachment: Adults with avoidant attachment often prioritize independence over intimacy. They may avoid emotional discussions, struggle to express their feelings, and distance themselves when relationships become too close. This can lead to feelings of loneliness or dissatisfaction, even in otherwise healthy relationships.
Anxious Attachment: Anxiously attached individuals tend to be hyper-vigilant about their relationships. They may overanalyze their partner’s words and actions, constantly seeking proof of love and commitment. This can create tension, as their need for reassurance may feel overwhelming to their partners.
Disorganized Attachment: Those with disorganized attachment often experience intense emotional highs and lows in relationships. They may oscillate between seeking closeness and pushing others away, driven by a deep fear of rejection or harm. This unpredictability can make it difficult to maintain long-term, stable partnerships.

It’s important to note that attachment styles exist on a spectrum. You may recognize elements of more than one style in yourself, and that’s perfectly normal. The goal isn’t to fit neatly into a category but to understand how your attachment history influences your current relationships.

Moving Toward Secure Attachment: Strategies for Growth

The good news is that attachment styles are not fixed. With self-awareness and intentional effort, you can develop a more secure way of relating to others. Here are some strategies to help you on that journey:

1. Cultivate Self-Awareness

The first step toward change is understanding your attachment style and how it affects your relationships. Reflect on your emotional responses, especially in moments of conflict or stress. Ask yourself: Do I tend to withdraw when I’m upset? Do I constantly worry about being abandoned? Recognizing these patterns is key to interrupting them.

2. Practice Emotional Vulnerability

Secure attachment requires the ability to express your emotions openly and honestly. If you’re avoidantly attached, this might mean pushing yourself to share your feelings, even when it feels uncomfortable. If you’re anxiously attached, it might involve learning to sit with uncertainty without seeking immediate reassurance.

3. Seek Support from Trusted Relationships

Healing attachment wounds often happens in the context of safe, supportive relationships. Whether it’s a friend, partner, or therapist, having someone who can listen without judgment allows you to explore your fears and vulnerabilities. Over time, these experiences can help you build a more secure internal template for relationships.

4. Engage in Therapy or Counseling

Therapy can be a powerful tool for addressing attachment-related challenges. A skilled therapist can help you process past experiences, develop healthier relational patterns, and practice new ways of connecting with others. Modalities like attachment-based therapy or emotionally focused therapy (EFT) are particularly effective for this purpose.

5. Be Patient and Compassionate with Yourself

Changing deeply ingrained attachment patterns takes time. It’s normal to experience setbacks along the way, but each step forward is progress. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a close friend. Remember, the goal is not perfection but growth.

The Power of Understanding Your Attachment Style

Attachment styles are a fundamental part of what makes us human, shaping how we connect, love, and navigate the world. By understanding your attachment style, you gain a powerful tool for self-awareness and relational growth. Whether you identify as securely attached or recognize elements of insecurity in your patterns, know that change is possible. With patience, reflection, and support, you can move toward a more secure way of being—one that allows you to form deeper, more fulfilling relationships.

Anxiety, Managing emotions, Neurology

5 Ways Trauma Rewires Your Brain for Survival

Written by McKenzie Laird

The human brain is remarkably adaptive, especially in response to adversity. When individuals experience neglect, emotional or verbal abuse, sexual abuse, or witness family violence—particularly in early childhood—their brains undergo survival-based changes to help them navigate a dangerous world. These adaptations are, in many ways, a reflection of the brain’s resilience. However, when trauma survivors move into safer environments, they often struggle deactivating the survival mechanisms they developed. Understanding how the brain adapts to trauma can be the first step in healing and reclaiming a sense of safety.

Imagine a child growing up in a confusing home where every interaction holds the potential for emotional or physical harm. This child’s brain learns to adapt for survival. Now, picture this child as an adult now living somewhere safe. Logically, they know they’re no longer in danger, but their brain hasn’t fully caught up yet. Instead, it continues to operate in survival mode, shaping the way they think, feel, and connect with others—even long into adulthood.

Much like animals in the wild, who develop specific survival tactics in response to threats, trauma survivors exhibit similar resilience. Nature documentaries often showcase how animals adapt to harsh environments—whether it’s a gazelle learning to anticipate predators or a bear cub developing defensive skills after early hardships. While these adaptations serve them well in the wild, if these animals were relocated to a protected sanctuary, they might initially struggle adjusting to the lack of danger. Similarly, trauma survivors may find it difficult to shift from survival mode to a state of peace and trust, even when they are safe.

Here are five ways your brain changes in response to trauma:

1. In Trauma, Hypervigilance Becomes the Norm

After experiencing prolonged danger, your brain becomes hyper-aware of potential threats. The amygdala, the part of the brain responsible for detecting danger, becomes overactive, leading to heightened anxiety and an exaggerated startle response. This makes it difficult to relax, even in safe environments, as your brain continuously scans for danger.

In the animal kingdom, prey animals like deer or rabbits exhibit similar hypervigilance. Their finely tuned senses help them detect danger, but when placed in a controlled environment where threats are minimal, they may still exhibit skittish behavior until they learn to feel safe.

How This Affects Relationships:

You may constantly anticipate conflict, even in peaceful relationships.
Small misunderstandings may feel like major threats, leading to overreactions.
You might struggle to believe your partner’s reassurances, fearing hidden dangers.

2. Emotional Regulation Becomes Difficult when Traumatized

Trauma impacts the prefrontal cortex, the area of the brain responsible for impulse control and emotional regulation. When this region is impaired, it results in heightened emotional reactivity, difficulty managing stress, and challenges in expressing emotions in a healthy way. You may find yourself easily overwhelmed or reacting to situations that seem minor to others.

Similarly, animals that have faced repeated stress, such as rescued shelter dogs, often struggle with emotional regulation. They may lash out or retreat, not because they are naturally aggressive, but because their past experiences have wired their brains to expect harm.

How This Affects Relationships:

You might experience sudden mood swings, feeling fine one moment and deeply upset the next.
Expressing emotions may feel overwhelming, leading to either emotional outbursts or complete withdrawal.
Your partner may struggle to understand why small triggers cause big reactions.

3. Trust Issues Become Deeply Ingrained through Trauma

Because early trauma often involves betrayal or harm from caregivers, the brain learns that people—even those who claim to love you—may not be completely safe. The brain wires itself to be cautious in relationships, leading to difficulties in trusting others, fear of vulnerability, and challenges in forming healthy attachments.

In nature, animals that have been hunted or mistreated by humans often remain wary, even when approached with kindness. A rescued horse that has been abused may take years to learn to trust its new caretaker, despite being in a loving home. The same applies to trauma survivors—learning to trust again takes time and patience.

How This Affects Relationships:

You may struggle to believe that your partner’s love is genuine or lasting.
Opening up emotionally may feel impossible, leading to distance in relationships.
Fear of abandonment might cause you to push people away before they have a chance to leave.

4. Survival Mode of Trauma Disrupts Logical Thinking

The hippocampus, a brain region involved in memory and learning, is affected by trauma, making it difficult to differentiate past from present. This means that even in a safe environment, your brain may react as if the trauma is happening all over again. This can lead to difficulty making decisions, chronic stress, and difficulty retaining positive experiences.

Consider a wild animal repeatedly exposed to danger—its brain remains wired to react instinctively rather than logically. A fox that has barely survived multiple predator encounters may struggle to distinguish a genuine threat from a harmless situation. Likewise, trauma survivors often operate from a protective than connective place.

How This Affects Relationships:

You may misinterpret neutral comments or actions as personal attacks.
It can be difficult to see your partner’s intentions clearly, leading to misunderstandings.
Conflict resolution may feel impossible, as your brain automatically assumes the worst.

5. Trauma Distorts Self-Perception

When trauma happens early in life, particularly at the hands of caregivers, the brain may internalize the experience as a reflection of self-worth. This can result in deep-seated feelings of shame, guilt, or unworthiness. Survivors may develop negative self-talk, struggle with self-compassion, and feel as though they are fundamentally broken.

A perfect example of this can be seen in elephants that have been held in captivity. Even when freed, some remain chained mentally, believing they are still confined. Similarly, trauma survivors may feel stuck in limiting beliefs about themselves, even when those beliefs are no longer valid.

How This Affects Relationships

You may feel unworthy of love, leading to self-sabotage in relationships.
Accepting compliments or kindness from others may feel uncomfortable or even suspicious.
A deep fear of rejection may cause you to settle for unhealthy relationships or avoid intimacy altogether.

Reach Out and Move Toward Healing

The good news is that the brain remains plastic—meaning it can change and heal even after years of trauma-induced adaptations. Therapy, mindfulness, and trauma-informed practices can help retrain the brain to recognize safety, regulate emotions, and develop healthier relational patterns.

Like rehabilitated wildlife that learns to thrive in a protected environment, trauma survivors can relearn what it means to be safe, loved, and emotionally free. If you recognize these trauma responses in yourself, know that you are not alone. Your brain adapted to survive, but now, you deserve to heal. With the right support, you can create new neural pathways that foster a sense of safety, trust, and emotional balance in your life.

Therapy for trauma and depression with McKenzie Laird, AMFT

Learn More About Therapy with McKenzie

Anxiety, Podcast

Young Adults Need to Feel Strong: Why “Vibey” Therapists are Unhelpful, and Tips to Find a Good One for Your Young Adult

Written by herecounseling

Navigating mental health as a community college student is no small feat. At Pasadena City College (PCC), where about 24,000 students—fresh-faced high school grads, career switchers, and everyone in between—chase their dreams, the mental health team works overtime to keep up. Dr. Andrea Bailey, Faculty Lead and Clinical Director, compares her job to running a small city’s mental health system, juggling limited resources and a dizzying array of student needs.

But here’s the kicker: therapy alone isn’t enough. This article dives into why trauma thrives without communal support, the traps of “vibey” therapists that can trip up young adults, and how to spot a therapist who’ll actually help you grow.

Trauma’s Roots: Where Community Falls Short

Trauma doesn’t hit like a lightning bolt—it’s more like a slow burn. Dr. Bailey explains that after big events, like wildfires or political chaos, students don’t flood the counseling center right away. They lean on their communities first—friends, family, campus buddies. But when those ties weaken or dissolve, the fallout creeps in months later, driving up demand for therapy. This delay reveals something big: mental health isn’t just about what’s in your head. It’s tied to the people around you.

In today’s world, where stable communities—think tight-knit families or neighborhood crews—are fading, students end up relying on therapists to fill the void. Dr. Bailey’s point is clear: therapy can patch you up, but it’s communal support that keeps you steady. Without it, trauma festers, and young adults, already figuring out who they are, feel the weight even more.

The Trap of “Vibey” Therapists: Why Good Vibes Aren’t Enough

Ever met a therapist who’s all warm fuzzies but no substance? Dr. Bailey calls them “vibey therapists”—the ones who nail the cozy vibe but don’t push you to grow. For young adults, this can be a real stumbling block. Drawing from Abigail Shrier’s Bad Therapy, here are three common pitfalls of this approach and how they mess with students:

Fostering Dependence Over Independence
These therapists might leave you hooked on their affirmations, like you’re a plant that can’t grow without constant watering. Young adults, who are supposed to be learning how to stand on their own, end up needing a session just to face a bad grade or a fight with a roommate.
Turning Struggles Into Identities
Too much focus on feelings without a game plan can glue you to your pain. Dr. Bailey hears students say, “I am my anxiety,” like it’s their whole personality. For young adults shaping their futures, this can lock them into a victim mindset instead of pushing them past it.
Prioritizing Comfort Over Challenge
If therapy feels like a hug fest with no tough questions, it’s not doing its job. Young adults need to stretch their wings—avoiding hard stuff keeps them fragile, not ready for the real world’s curveballs.

These traps don’t just stall you—they can backfire, making resilience harder to build. Shrier’s critique hits home: therapy that’s too soft can turn growing pains into permanent scars, especially for students at a crossroads.

Finding the Right Therapist: Tips That Work

So, how do you dodge the “vibey” trap and find a therapist who’s legit? It’s like picking a workout buddy—you want someone who’ll cheer you on but also call you out when you’re slacking. Dr. Bailey’s got some solid advice. Here are three tips to know if a therapist’s a good fit:

They Challenge You (But Not Too Hard)
A great therapist listens, gets you, then nudges you forward. If you’re just venting every week with no progress, it’s too vibey. Look for someone who sparks action.
They’ve Walked the Walk
Ask if they’ve been in therapy themselves. A therapist who’s faced their own stuff won’t lean on you to feel useful. For young adults, this means less risk of a weird, clingy vibe and more focus on your growth.
You Feel Seen, Not Babied
You should leave a session feeling understood but not pampered. If they’re handing you tools or a fresh angle—not just nodding and smiling—you’ve got a keeper. It’s about moving forward, not wallowing.

These pointers help you zero in on therapy that builds you up, not just props you up.

Therapy Plus Community

Therapy’s a tool, but it shines brightest alongside real community—friends, clubs, a campus crew. At PCC, Dr. Bailey’s team pushes students to plug into campus life, because healing sticks when you’re not alone. For young adults, dodging “vibey” therapists and chasing solid support—both in and out of the counseling room—can turn a rough patch into a launchpad. In a world that’s shaky at best, that’s worth figuring out.

Anxiety, Somatic Exercises

What is Embodiment? 3 Big Myths About Your Mind-Body Connection

Written by Addy Sonneland

You’ve heard of “embodiment” and you are curious how this could work for you. You find yourself stuck in your head, disconnected from your experiences, and just going through the motions. Maybe you have a general understanding of your emotions, but you feel a step or two away from truly feeling them. Stress and trauma have kept you from feeling fully present and moments of dissociation feel like regular occurrences.

You’ve tried the phrases, “mind over matter” or “just shake it off”. You know that feeling tense, numb, and overwhelmed is keeping you from being fully present. Additionally, You want to experience your emotions without feeling hijacked by them. You long to find ease – a desire to walk through life feeling grounded, connected, and comfortable in your own skin. You are longing for embodiment.

Embodiment is a way of working with the mind-body connection, not by doing something entirely new, but by bringing awareness to what your body is already doing. As somatic trauma therapist, Manuela Mischke Reeds says,

“Embodiment is the awareness process through which we recognize ourselves as interconnected living systems.”

When we cultivate this awareness, we gain wisdom and insight, allowing ourselves to respond authentically and engage fully—both with ourselves and others. In this blog, we’ll explore how emotions take visible form in the body and how tuning into these signals can help you feel more present, grounded, and at home in yourself. Let’s talk more about embodiment and how somatic awareness works.

3 Common Myths About Embodiment

Many people have misconceptions about what embodiment really is. Let’s clear up some confusion around the most common ones.

1. Embodiment means always feeling “good” in your body

While embodiment includes focusing on comfortable or soothing sensations, it is not about finding a state of constant comfort or ease. It includes (but is not limited to) awareness of discomfort, tension, or even moments of disconnection from physical sensations. The goal is not to eliminate the feelings, but rather to cultivate curiosity and compassion.

2. Embodiment is something you achieve once and for all

As amazing as it would be, embodiment is not a final destination. Our awareness of our body and emotions fluctuates throughout the day. Embodiment is an ongoing process of noticing. The power of embodiment is found through returning to awareness again and again, building a relationship between the mind and body over time.

3. Embodiment is just about movement or posture

While movement plays a role, embodiment is more than standing tall or stretching. It’s about recognizing how emotions show up in the body—like a clenched jaw in frustration or a sense of lightness in joy. Movement can help us learn to work with these sensations rather than ignoring or suppressing them.

3 Truths About Embodiment

Now that we have cleared up some misconceptions, let’s explore what embodiment really is and why it is so important.

1. Embodiment is for everyone

A history of trauma is not required to benefit from developing somatic awareness. We all navigate stress, emotions, and daily experiences that shape how we feel in our bodies. Embodiment helps correct the tendency to intellectualize emotions—thinking about them rather than actually feeling them. Emotions begin in the body, and they always have a physical manifestation. Through sensory awareness—exteroception (external sensations), proprioception (body position and movement), and interoception (internal bodily signals)—you can learn to recognize and process emotions as they arise. When you do, you ground yourself in the present.

2. Embodiment is an ongoing practice

It’s not a one-time realization but a long-term process of cultivating awareness to your body’s signals. The more you practice, the more natural it becomes. Over time, you’ll develop a stronger felt sense– your innate, pre-verbal knowledge of the mind-body connection. Instead of relying on “mind over matter,” you’ll recognize when to rest, move, or seek support. This shift leads toward greater authenticity both with yourself and others.

3. The mind and body are intimately connected

Finally, Your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations are deeply intertwined through the truly brilliant vagus nerve. Dr. Willa Blythe Baker from the Mind & Life Institute notes, “Neuroscience now recognizes that the brain and the body are so intimately intertwined that they cannot be thought of separately.” Embodiment is not just about understanding your emotions but about sensing and processing them through the body. When you lean into embodiment, you move toward wholeness—engaging with life fully rather than slipping into disconnection or overwhelm.

Ready to reconnect with your body?

I help people just like you learn to move from overthinking to deeply feeling – so you can trust yourself, respond authentically, and feel more at home in your body. Embodiment is a process and you don’t have to figure it out alone.

I help people move out of survival mode and toward embodiment. We can work together to help you get there. In somatic therapy, we will use mindful awareness and gentle exploration to tap into your innate strength. This includes noticing body sensations, processing emotions through intentional movement, and inviting your body to tell the story. Your body is already speaking to you, somatic therapy helps you listen. Click below and schedule a free consultation today.

Learn more about Somatic Therapy with Addy

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Anxiety, Podcast, Somatic Exercises

[VIDEO] Somatic Therapist on How to Harness the Miraculous Power of Memory and Motion

Written by herecounseling

Arianne MacBean, a somatic therapist with a profound background in dance education and choreography, helps people with trauma and anxiety to create change using their bodies. On the surface, this idea sounds trivial, yet as Arianne explains, the body is absolutely central in any process of healing. Arianne shared her unique journey from leading dance workshops for veterans to becoming a somatic psychotherapist, illustrating how movement and memory can catalyze deep emotional and psychological healing.

How veterans heal trauma through movement

Arianne’s work began with veterans through “The Collective Memory Project,” where she combined writing and movement to help veterans process their memories. “We were dealing with memory making as a relational process,” Arianne explains. “It changes as you tell it and share it.” This initiative was not just about dance but about using movement as a medium to externalize and reinterpret personal experiences. Veterans found themselves in a space where their memories could be shared, reshaped, and witnessed by others, leading to profound moments of vulnerability, healing, and sometimes, performance on stage alongside professional dancers.

Moving from dance to therapy

The transition from dance educator to therapist was driven by Arianne’s realization of the deep therapeutic impact her workshops had. She noticed that moving memories physically allowed for an emotional release that talking alone could not achieve. “What we were doing was incredibly evocative, provocative, emotional, vulnerable, and healing,” Arianne recounts. This insight led her to pursue further skills in somatic psychotherapy, where she could formally integrate these practices into healing processes.

How Somatic Therapy Works

Arianne describes how, in therapy sessions, she encourages clients to embody their emotions or memories physically. “It’s a kind of embodied way of processing experience,” she notes. For example, she recounts a session where a client with an autoimmune condition physically took on a posture from a painful memory, leading to significant emotional shifts. This method isn’t about escaping discomfort but about engaging with it in a controlled, therapeutic setting, which can lead to acceptance and eventual relief.

The process allows for a re-experiencing of trauma in a safe environment, where the body’s memory can be explored and reframed. “It’s about feeling change, not just thinking it,” Arianne adds, emphasizing the emotional and bodily release that somatic therapy facilitates.

Somatic therapy exercises actually involve two people: you and the therapist

One of the key takeaways from Arianne’s discussion is the human connection in therapy. By sharing and mirroring physical expressions, both therapist and client connect on a primal, empathetic level. “I do a lot of movement with them too; I mirror what they’re doing,” Arianne shares, highlighting how this practice fosters an environment where healing can occur not just through distance or professional detachment but through shared human experience.

3 Somatic Therapy Exercises

Arianne suggests simple exercises for those dealing with panic or pain:

Acknowledge the Sensation: Recognize the pain or panic as a signal, not an enemy. “Hello, anxiety,” she suggests as a way to acknowledge rather than fight the feeling.
Breathe Into It: Instead of breathing away from the discomfort, breathe into it, sending your breath to where you feel the pain or anxiety. “It’s about inhaling and exhaling into the sensation,” she explains.
Re-center in the Present: Remind yourself of your current safety and environment, grounding yourself back to the present moment. “You’re here, you’re okay,” she reassures.

Arianne MacBean’s journey from the stage to the therapy room highlights a beautiful synergy between art and healing. Her work underscores the potential of somatic practices in psychological therapy, offering hope and new methods for those seeking to heal from deep-seated traumas or chronic conditions through the power of their own bodies. Her approach not only transforms personal narratives but also invites everyone to rethink how we engage with our emotions and memories, fostering a space where healing is both an individual and communal journey.

Learn about Somatic Therapy for Trauma

5 Somatic Therapy Exercises to Calm Your Body and Mind Now

Anxiety, Somatic Exercises

Somatic Therapy Exercises at Home: 5 Simple Somatic Exercises for Trauma, Anxiety, and Stress Relief

Written by Here Counseling

Somatic therapy is a practice that connects the mind and body for healing. It offers exercises that address trauma, stress, and enhance overall well-being. The exercises are simple and many of them you can do at home. You may even already be doing them without knowing! Somatic exercises are simple practices that connect the mind and body to promote healing and relaxation.

Somatic therapy exercises, also known as somatic experiencing exercises or somatic exercises for anxiety, can be performed easily at home to manage physical sensations related to stress and trauma. Here are five exercises you can try at home to calm your body and mind today.

Quick List of Somatic Exercises

Body Spotlight: Shine an imaginary spotlight on your body to notice sensations without judgment.
Centering: Ground yourself by focusing on the floor or chair beneath you.
Breath as Anchor: Use deep, abdominal breathing to calm your nervous system.
Body Directed Movement: Move gently to release tension and connect with your body.
Dialogue with Body: Tune into your body’s sensations and ask what it needs.

What is Somatic Therapy? Understanding Mind-Body Techniques

Somatic therapy, often referred to as somatic experiencing, focuses on the body’s role in healing from trauma and stress. Developed by Dr. Peter Levine, it emphasizes bodily sensations (interoceptive, proprioceptive, and kinesthetic) to release trapped energy without directly revisiting traumatic memories. Unlike traditional talk therapy, somatic therapy works bottom-up, starting with the body to influence the mind. Studies show it effectively reduces PTSD symptoms and anxiety by mimicking natural stress release processes in the body.

Benefits of Somatic Therapy Exercises at Home for Trauma and Anxiety

Somatic exercises at home provide numerous advantages for mental and physical health:

Releases stored trauma by addressing physical sensations like tightness or discomfort.
Reduces anxiety quickly through nervous system regulation, lowering fight-or-flight responses.
Improves emotional regulation and self-awareness for better daily stress management.
Enhances mind-body connection, similar to how full somatic therapy supports trauma recovery.
Promotes relaxation and well-being without needing professional help for mild issues.

Why Practice Somatic Therapy Exercises?

Somatic exercises address the physical signs of stress and trauma that talk therapy might miss. By focusing on bodily sensations, they help release stored trauma, reduce stress, and improve emotional regulation. They foster self-awareness and provide tools for daily stress management, promoting a harmonious mind-body connection.

5 Somatic Therapy Exercises: Step-by-Step Guide

1. Body Spotlight

The body spotlight is a practice aimed at increasing awareness of where you hold emotional distress and emotional resource. By focusing on our body with attunement, we note where there is work to be done and what resources we can draw from. Begin by finding a quiet, comfortable place to sit or lie down. Close your eyes, or drop your focus inward. Notice your regular breathing pattern, and then slow it down just a tad, nothing fancy, just slow and easy. Imagine there is an interior spotlight that you can shine around your body.

Start at one end of your body and shine your spotlight around, taking in the feelings, sensations, images, and memories that pop up. Progressively move your attention through your body to the other end. As you light up each part of the interior landscape of your body, notice any sensations – tightness, warmth, tingling, pain, or comfort. Don’t judge, just acknowledge and note. This exercise can reveal areas where you might be holding stress or trauma, and where you gather strength and love, teaching you to tune into your body’s signals which often go unnoticed in daily life.

Demonstrating body spotlight somatic exercise for awareness

2. Centering

Centering is essential if you feel disconnected from your body or overwhelmed by emotions. It helps remind your body that you are safe, even if your emotions feel too strong. To practice, sit or stand with your feet firmly planted on the ground. Keep your eyes open and concentrate on the sensation of the ground beneath your feet – the firmness, the temperature, the texture through your shoes or socks.

If you’re sitting, feel the chair beneath you and sense where your body ends and the chair begins. Pay attention to the way the floor or chair hold and press into your body. Feel your edges. Look around the room and name the things you see. Tell yourself, “I am here. My body is OK.” Centering techniques help anchor you in the present moment, reducing anxiety and the feeling of being “out of body.” They are particularly useful for managing symptoms of PTSD or dissociation, providing a sense of safety and control over your physical environment.

For variations in somatic exercises for anxiety, try adding gentle foot movements like wiggling toes to enhance grounding.

Addy Sonneland, Somatic Therapy

Heal from somatic issues

Your body is struggling, and you know anxiety is the culprit. It’s difficult to calm yourself, leading to either panic attacks, IBS issues, sleep issues, or even problems connecting with others.

I help people just like you experience relief. I’m Addy Sonneland, AMFT and I provide certified somatic psychotherapy in Pasadena and throughout California.

Schedule a 15-min phone call with me to hear how I can help you reduce anxiety with somatic therapy:

Schedule a Consultation with Addy

3. Breath as Anchor

Breath work in somatic therapy isn’t just about deep breathing; it’s about reconnecting with your life force. Your breath is ALWAYS there for you as a tool for regulation. It is the quickest way to calm your nervous system. To practice, find a comfortable position, sitting or lying down. Place one hand on your abdomen and the other on your chest. Inhale deeply through your nose, allowing your abdomen to rise while keeping your chest relatively still. Exhale slowly through your mouth.

Focus on the sensation of the air entering and leaving your body, the rise and fall of your abdomen. If your mind wanders, gently bring it back to your breath. This exercise can be done anywhere and helps to activate the parasympathetic nervous system, promoting relaxation and reducing stress levels. It’s a fundamental tool in somatic therapy for managing anxiety and panic attacks.

Breath as anchor somatic therapy exercise technique

4. Body Directed Movement

Body directed movement encourages you to let your body lead the way, moving in ways that feel natural and releasing. This can help discharge pent-up energy and emotions stored in the body. Start in a standing position with feet shoulder-width apart. Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. Begin to move your body slowly, allowing it to guide the movement – sway, stretch, shake, or twist as feels right.

Pay attention to areas of tension and allow movement to flow through them. Continue for 5-10 minutes, then gradually slow down and come to a still position. Reflect on how your body feels after the exercise. This practice helps release physical tension and emotional blockages, improving flexibility both physically and emotionally. It’s particularly beneficial for those who feel stuck or repressed in their emotional expression.

5. Dialogue with Body

Dialoguing with your body involves listening to and communicating with your physical sensations as if they were messages from a wise friend. This exercise fosters a deeper understanding and compassion for your physical self. Sit or lie in a comfortable position. Close your eyes and scan your body for any sensations – pain, tightness, warmth, etc.

Once you identify a sensation, focus on it and ask, “What do you need right now?” or “What are you trying to tell me?” Listen for any intuitive responses – they might come as thoughts, images, or feelings. Respond with compassion, perhaps by adjusting your position or offering kind words internally. This dialogue can uncover underlying emotional needs and promote self-healing. It’s useful for developing self-compassion and addressing chronic pain or illness from a holistic perspective.

How to Build a Daily Somatic Routine at Home

Starting a somatic routine doesn’t need to be complicated. The most effective changes often begin with small, consistent steps. If you’ve already tried the exercises above, choose one or two that felt most natural and build from there. Set aside 5 to 10 minutes each morning or evening—somewhere quiet, where you can be alone with your body.

A daily routine might look like this:

Start with a few grounding breaths.
Do one somatic movement or scan.
Reflect for a minute on how you feel afterward.

Over time, this practice becomes less about “fixing” something and more about reconnecting with yourself.

Common Mistakes to Avoid With Somatic Exercises

Somatic exercises are gentle, but they can bring up strong emotions or sensations if done too quickly or without mindfulness. Here are a few common missteps to look out for:

Doing too much, too soon – These practices work best slowly and with intention.
Expecting instant relief – Somatic work often works beneath the surface first.
Forcing movements – If your body resists, it’s a signal to pause, not push.
Not checking in afterward – Reflection helps track subtle shifts and keeps you connected.

It’s okay if your practice doesn’t feel “perfect.” What matters is staying present.

Signs Your Body Is Responding to Somatic Work

How do you know if the exercises are helping? The signs may be subtle at first, but they’re meaningful. People often report:

A greater sense of calm or spaciousness after sessions
Decreased tension in the jaw, neck, or shoulders
Feeling more emotionally grounded during the day
Improved sleep quality
Being able to notice and name emotions more easily

Even if changes feel small, they often indicate deeper nervous system shifts.

Combining Somatic Exercises With Other Healing Practices

Somatic work is powerful on its own, but it also blends beautifully with other forms of healing. You might:

Pair breathwork with a body scan
Do gentle stretching or yoga before a somatic movement
Journal after exercises to explore what surfaced emotionally
Practice mindfulness to deepen body awareness throughout the day

Just make sure not to overwhelm yourself. The goal is regulation—not perfection.

Can Somatic Exercises Make Things Worse Before They Get Better?

It’s not uncommon to feel more sensitive, tired, or emotional after starting somatic work. This doesn’t mean it’s not working—it often means your body is finally softening and processing what’s been held for too long.

If this happens, try not to panic or shut down the practice entirely. Instead:

Go slower
Shorten sessions
Focus on grounding (feet on floor, deep breath, eye contact with something familiar)

If overwhelm persists, it might be a sign that support from a trained therapist could help you process things safely.

Creating a Grounding Space for Somatic Practice

You don’t need a fancy studio. A small, quiet space in your home—corner of a room, a mat on the floor, even a cushion by a window—can be enough. What matters most is how the space feels. Consider:

Dimming lights or using soft lighting
Playing calming background music or white noise
Keeping grounding objects nearby (a soft blanket, weighted item, or calming scent)

Your body is more likely to settle when your environment feels stable and predictable.

Somatic Exercises for Specific Situations (Anxiety, Sleep, Grief)

Somatic practices can be adapted based on what you’re moving through:

For anxiety:
Focus on grounding movements that bring your awareness to your feet or lower body. Try pressing your feet into the ground slowly, or clenching and releasing fists.

For sleep:
Gentle body scans or slow rhythmic rocking can calm the nervous system before bed. Try lying down and placing a hand on your belly to feel each breath.

For grief or emotional release:
Allow for spontaneous movement—swaying, curling, or even tears. Somatic work doesn’t always look neat, but it can open space for deep emotional shifts.

Somatic Therapy vs. At-Home Exercises: When to Seek Professional Help

While somatic exercises at home are excellent for mild stress and anxiety, full somatic therapy with a professional is recommended for deep trauma or chronic issues. For more on certified somatic practices, visit somaticexperiencing.com.

Somatic Therapy at Here Counseling in Pasadena

At Here Counseling’s office in Pasadena, our therapists specialize in somatic therapy techniques to help you connect mind and body for lasting healing. Whether you’re dealing with trauma, stress, or seeking greater self-awareness, our experts guide you through personalized exercises and sessions. Discover how somatic therapy can transform your well-being – schedule a consultation today!

WE PROVIDE SOMATIC THERAPY IN PASADENA

We offer somatic therapy in Pasadena, CA to help individuals move from disconnection to embodiment. We’ve served the Pasadena area with licensed therapists for over 10 years, helping clients with somatic complaints. Stored tension and trauma can be released, and you can learn new ways to feel safe and present in your body. We have somatic therapists who can guide you toward that transformation.

The somatic approach understands that our emotions are expressed not first with words, but with our bodily state. Somatic therapy emphasizes movement and feeling over talking and thinking. We listen to the body to create safety, greater awareness, and regulation of emotions like anxiety, depression, and panic, and traumatic stress.

We are certified in somatic interventions and can help you create lasting change in your body and mind.

Julia Wilson, Trauma Therapy in Pasadena

Addy Sonneland, Somatic Therapy

Couples therapy with John Allan Whitacre, AMFT — EMDR therapist John Allan Whitacre in Pasadena with EMDR

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Frequently Asked Questions

What are somatic exercises?

Somatic exercises are mind-body practices that focus on bodily sensations to promote healing and relaxation. By tuning into physical feelings like tension or warmth, they help release stress and trauma, fostering a deeper connection between mind and body. These simple techniques can be done at home to enhance emotional and physical well-being.

How often should I practice somatic exercises?

You can practice somatic exercises daily or as needed to manage stress and improve well-being. Start with 5-10 minutes a day, adjusting based on your comfort and goals. Regular practice strengthens mind-body awareness, helping you stay grounded. For trauma or intense stress, combine with professional guidance for best results.

Can somatic exercises help with trauma?

Yes, somatic exercises help release trauma stored in the body by addressing physical sensations like tightness or discomfort. They promote nervous system regulation, reducing fight-or-flight responses. While effective for mild trauma, they work best alongside therapy for deeper healing, helping you process and integrate traumatic experiences safely and effectively.

What are somatic exercises for anxiety?

Somatic exercises for anxiety include grounding techniques like centering, breathwork, and body scans to calm the nervous system. These help reduce physical symptoms of anxiety by focusing on present-moment sensations rather than worrisome thoughts.

What’s the difference between somatic therapy and yoga?

Somatic therapy focuses on releasing trauma through body awareness and sensations, while yoga combines physical postures, breath, and meditation for overall well-being. Both enhance mind-body connection, but somatic therapy is more targeted for emotional healing.

Anxiety, Somatic Exercises

How does Somatic Therapy help? Healing your body and mind

Written by Here Counseling

You don’t have to be a guru to do somatic work. At its core, somatic work is simply being aware of your body, and you don’t need to do anything fancy to experience its benefits. It only takes a few seconds to drop into your body, feel whatever your body is feeling, note the sensations, and then carry on with your day. Simply spending a few moments with your body’s felt experience brings you closer to your embodied self.

What does somatic mean?

The term somatic itself can be distancing because it is used mostly in academic settings and not in everyday life. The word somatic essentially means relating to the body. So, you’re doing somatic work any time you notice your body’s sensations. It’s that simple.

What is an embodied self?

An embodied self is the experience of being fundamentally connected to your physical body. The experience of an embodied self encompasses awareness of sensations, movements, and perceptions. In other words, and embodied self is a way of understanding yourself as never being separate from your physical form but rather integrated within it. The embodied YOU holds a deep sense of being present in your body and actively interacts with the world through these sensations.

Why are somatics helpful?

Somatic exercises are tools to bridge mind and body. By linking mind and body, somatics are the means toward emotional regulation, stress reduction, pain management, and general well-being. When we feel that our mind and body are working together, not fighting each other, we feel better! Somatics help us integrate our physicality and cognition, our feeling and our thinking. We can feel more dynamically whole and embodied by practicing somatics.

What somatic work can I do on my own?

Just by noticing your feet on the ground when you sit or stand is somatic work. Taking a moment to notice the rise and fall of your chest when you breath is somatic work. Feeling tightness in your neck and then rolling your shoulders around is somatic work. It really doesn’t need to be anything too complicated.

Try this somatic therapy practice

Take a minute to close your eyes or turn your focus inward. Scan the internal and external landscapes of your body. Feel the air on your skin, the clothes on you back, the way your body is in contact with the couch you’re sitting on or the floor your standing on. Send attention to any part of your body that seeks your attention. Scan your body for sensations (aches, pangs, tickles; pain, pleasure, emotion, warmth, fatigue, anything!) Notice what comes up. Acknowledge your sensations and thank them.

How can I use somatics to better know myself?

Somatics are a wonderful way to connect deeply with stored tension, pain, or destabilization that is stored in your body from past traumatic experiences or dysfunctional coping mechanisms. Working with a somatic psychotherapist can help relieve physical pain and stress, improve emotional awareness and release of trauma. In somatic psychotherapy you become more attuned to your body’s signals, develop a deeper understanding of your needs and how to respond to them with compassion.

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Anxiety

“But why should I have to feel worse to feel better?”

Face Trauma with Support—Not Fear

Common Ways People Avoid Confronting Trauma

1. Boundaries as Avoidance

2. Addiction and Suppression

3. Denial

4. Intellectualization

5. Approaching Therapy as a Silencer

Research Supports it: Exposure is Essential for Healing

What the Science Says

All therapy is exposure therapy

Exposure is how we learn resilience and maturity

How Exposure Rewires the Brain

Why Avoidance Keeps Trauma Alive

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)

Why is exposure important in trauma therapy?

What are the benefits of exposure in trauma therapy?

How does exposure work in trauma therapy?

The Path to Healing: Facing Pain with Support

What is EMDR?

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing

Break the Cycle of Generational Trauma

The EMDR Process: A Structured Path to Healing Trauma

Building Safety and Skills

Processing with Bilateral Stimulation

“But I don’t want to deal with my trauma”

The Instinct to Avoid Discomfort

Yet Avoidance has a Hidden Cost

What is Generational Trauma?

The Legacy of Pain Passed Down

EMDR can be a Tool for Healing Generational Trauma

Facing Inherited Pain with Support

The Benefits of EMDR Therapy

Personal Relief and Resilience

Healing Trauma is a Gift to Family and Beyond

What is trauma and how is it different from PTSD?

What Does Trauma Feel Like? Common Symptoms and Their Impact

1. Flashbacks

Trauma Is Personal—So Is Your Healing

2. Nightmares

3. Anxiety and Hypervigilance

4. Depression

5. Avoidance

6. Physical Symptoms

The Overflowing Dam: Defining Trauma

Then why do some have a trauma response and others don’t?

Trauma vs. PTSD: Key Differences

Social Support Makes the Difference in Post-Trauma Recovery

Trauma Therapy: Research-Backed Benefits

Option 1: Somatic Therapy for Trauma: Healing Through the Body

What is Somatic Therapy?

Research-Backed Benefits of Somatic Therapy

What to Expect in Somatic Sessions

Option 2: EMDR Therapy for Trauma: Reprocessing Painful Memories

What is EMDR Therapy?

Research-Backed Benefits of EMDR Therapy

What to Expect in EMDR Sessions

Rebuilding After the Storm

What Are Attachment Styles and Why Do They Matter?

The Four Main Attachment Styles

Secure Attachment: The Foundation of Healthy Relationships

Avoidant Attachment: The Struggle with Emotional Closeness

Anxious Attachment: The Fear of Abandonment

Disorganized Attachment: The Impact of Chaos and Trauma

How Attachment Styles Impact Adult Relationships

Moving Toward Secure Attachment: Strategies for Growth

1. Cultivate Self-Awareness

2. Practice Emotional Vulnerability

3. Seek Support from Trusted Relationships

4. Engage in Therapy or Counseling

5. Be Patient and Compassionate with Yourself

The Power of Understanding Your Attachment Style

1. In Trauma, Hypervigilance Becomes the Norm

How This Affects Relationships:

2. Emotional Regulation Becomes Difficult when Traumatized

How This Affects Relationships:

3. Trust Issues Become Deeply Ingrained through Trauma

How This Affects Relationships:

4. Survival Mode of Trauma Disrupts Logical Thinking