Blog | Page 2 of 21 | Here Counseling

EMDR vs Somatic Experiencing: Which Helps With Trauma Triggers Faster?

Written by Jamen

Trauma can leave the body and mind reacting long after the event is over. Some people find themselves suddenly overwhelmed by flashbacks, anxiety, or physical sensations that seem to come out of nowhere. At Here Counseling, we often meet clients who ask — “Which therapy helps trauma triggers resolve faster: EMDR or Somatic Experiencing?”

Both are evidence-based trauma therapies, but they work in different ways. Understanding their differences can help you choose the approach that fits your healing process.

Understanding Trauma Triggers

Before comparing EMDR and Somatic Experiencing, it helps to understand what trauma triggers are.
A trauma trigger is anything — a sound, smell, word, or even a thought — that unconsciously reminds your body of a past traumatic experience. These triggers activate the same stress response as the original event, leading to panic, dissociation, or physical tension.

When triggers occur frequently, they can make daily life exhausting. Effective trauma therapy aims not just to manage these responses, but to reprocess the underlying memory so the body no longer perceives it as a current threat.

What Is EMDR Therapy?

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is a structured, research-backed therapy designed to help people reprocess traumatic memories safely. Developed by Francine Shapiro, EMDR uses bilateral stimulation — such as eye movements, tapping, or auditory tones — while guiding you through recalling distressing experiences.

This process helps the brain move the memory from the “stuck” state in the limbic system to the rational part of the brain, where it can be processed without intense emotional charge.
Clients often describe it as being able to remember the trauma without reliving it.

What EMDR targets:

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
Single-event trauma (accidents, assault, disasters)
Anxiety and panic
Emotional distress related to specific memories

In many cases, EMDR produces noticeable relief within fewer sessions compared to talk therapy, making it a powerful choice for individuals seeking structured trauma resolution.

What Is Somatic Experiencing?

Somatic Experiencing (SE), developed by Dr. Peter Levine, focuses on how trauma is stored in the body rather than in thoughts or memories. Trauma can leave the nervous system in a constant state of fight, flight, or freeze. Somatic Experiencing helps restore balance by gently guiding the body to release stored survival energy.

Rather than revisiting traumatic memories in detail, SE works by increasing awareness of bodily sensations — tension, tightness, breath patterns — and allowing these sensations to resolve gradually.

Somatic Experiencing helps with:

Chronic stress and burnout
Developmental or complex trauma
Anxiety and hypervigilance
Physical symptoms linked to emotional distress (e.g., muscle tightness, fatigue)

Sessions are often slower-paced and body-focused, emphasizing safety and regulation.

Our Pasadena Therapists

View All Therapists

EMDR vs Somatic Experiencing: How They Differ

Both therapies aim to reduce trauma symptoms and emotional reactivity, but they differ in focus and process.

Aspect	EMDR	Somatic Experiencing
Focus	Reprocessing traumatic memories	Regulating the nervous system and releasing body-held tension
Approach	Uses bilateral stimulation to desensitize distressing memories	Uses body awareness to track and release trauma responses
Session Structure	Structured and protocol-based	Fluid and experiential
Ideal For	Single-event trauma or PTSD	Chronic or developmental trauma
Speed of Results	Often faster for specific memories	Gradual, deeper nervous system repair

If you’re looking for quicker symptom relief, EMDR may show progress sooner, especially for identifiable traumatic events.
If your trauma is long-term or linked to ongoing stress patterns, Somatic Experiencing may be a better long-term approach.

Which Works Faster for Trauma Triggers?

The question of speed depends on the type of trauma and how your nervous system responds to treatment.

EMDR is generally faster for acute trauma — such as a car accident, loss, or assault — because it helps reprocess a specific event. Clients often notice a decrease in emotional intensity after a few sessions.

Somatic Experiencing, on the other hand, is more effective for chronic stress or complex trauma, where the body has learned to stay in a constant state of alert. The process is slower, but it creates foundational nervous system regulation, which reduces the intensity of future triggers.

In other words, EMDR tends to address the “flash” of the memory, while Somatic Experiencing addresses the body’s ongoing reaction to that flash. Many trauma-informed clinicians integrate both methods to achieve faster and deeper healing.

The Science Behind EMDR and Somatic Experiencing

Both EMDR and Somatic Experiencing are grounded in neuroscience.

EMDR works by activating the brain’s natural reprocessing system, similar to what occurs during REM sleep. This helps integrate fragmented memories into normal narrative memory.
Somatic Experiencing targets the autonomic nervous system — the network controlling stress responses. By releasing stored tension, SE helps restore a sense of safety and presence.

Research supports both approaches. The APA and WHO recognize EMDR as an effective trauma therapy. Somatic Experiencing is supported by emerging studies showing reductions in anxiety, PTSD symptoms, and physiological stress markers.

Choosing Between EMDR and Somatic Experiencing

Choosing a trauma therapy depends on your history, symptoms, and what feels safe for you.
At Here Counseling, we often discuss the following with clients before deciding on a treatment plan:

Nature of the trauma: Was it a single event or repeated over time?
Body awareness: Do you feel disconnected from your body, or overly reactive to sensations?
Comfort level: Are you comfortable revisiting traumatic memories, or would you rather work indirectly through sensations?
Therapy goals: Are you seeking faster symptom relief or long-term regulation?

Both methods can be effective, and sometimes combining them — for instance, using Somatic Experiencing to ground the body before EMDR — leads to better outcomes.

Can EMDR and Somatic Experiencing Be Combined?

Yes. Many trauma therapists integrate both modalities.
For example, a client might start with Somatic Experiencing to build safety and body awareness. Once their nervous system feels more regulated, EMDR can help reprocess specific traumatic memories without overwhelming the body.

This integrated approach allows for both emotional desensitization and physical release — a balance that helps reduce trauma triggers more sustainably.

The Role of the Therapist

The effectiveness of trauma therapy depends not only on the method but also on the therapeutic relationship.
At Here Counseling, our trauma-informed therapists are trained in EMDR, Somatic Experiencing, and integrative approaches. We focus on pacing sessions according to your nervous system’s readiness, ensuring you feel supported and grounded throughout your healing journey.

Every client’s trauma story is unique. Our goal isn’t just to help you cope with triggers, but to help your mind and body truly feel safe again.

When to Seek Help for Trauma Trigger

If you find yourself:

Easily startled or anxious
Reliving past events through flashbacks or nightmares
Feeling detached from your body or surroundings
Physically tense or fatigued without clear reason

you may be experiencing unresolved trauma responses.
Reaching out for help doesn’t mean your trauma defines you — it means you’re ready to take back control of your life.

Our Pasadena Therapists

View All Therapists

How We Help at Here Counseling

Whether through EMDR therapy in Pasadena or Somatic Experiencing sessions, we help clients process trauma safely and effectively — in person or through secure online sessions.

We focus on creating a space where you can understand your triggers, regulate your nervous system, and move toward lasting emotional balance.

If you’re unsure which approach is right for you, we’ll guide you through the options, explain what to expect, and design a plan that fits your comfort level and goals.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is EMDR better than Somatic Experiencing for PTSD?
Both are effective for PTSD. EMDR is usually faster for single-event trauma, while Somatic Therapy helps with chronic or developmental trauma.

How many sessions will I need?
It varies. EMDR may bring relief in several sessions; Somatic Experiencing often requires a longer process for deep nervous system regulation.

Can I do these therapies online?
Yes. Both EMDR and Somatic Experiencing can be conducted virtually with proper therapist guidance.

Do I need to relive my trauma during EMDR?
No. You recall the event briefly but from a safe and guided state. The goal is to reprocess, not to retraumatize.

Can I combine EMDR with Somatic Experiencing?
Absolutely. Many clients benefit from integrating both to balance emotional and physical healing.

Begin Healing With Trauma Therapy in Pasadena

Healing from trauma isn’t about erasing the past — it’s about freeing your body and mind from its grip.
At Here Counseling, we offer EMDR and Somatic Experiencing therapy in Pasadena, helping you manage trauma triggers, rebuild safety, and move forward with greater calm and confidence.

deep breathing isn't working to treat addiction

Managing emotions

Addiction isn’t About Genes, It’s About Shame: How to Re-Understand Addiction with Psychoanalysis

Written by herecounseling

You’re wondering why you or a loved one struggles with addiction. Usually a quick internet search gives two tidy yet disappointing answers: (1) It’s genetic, or (2) it’s self-destructive behavior. But you know from experience addiction is much more complex.

This article explores how addiction can arise from shame. We’ll look at addiction through the lens of self-psychology, a branch of psychoanalysis, to help you understand that the struggles of addiction can be tied to unmet needs for affection and autonomy, rather than just biology or self-sabotage. By recognizing the role of shame, you can begin to approach healing with compassion for yourself.

Traditional Views of Addiction Fall Short

Society often views addiction through a medicalized lens, focusing on individual vulnerabilities to substances. This perspective emphasizes biological and behavioral factors but overlooks the obvious emotional underpinnings that drive addictive behaviors.

Common Medicalized Explanations for Addiction

Genetic Explanations: Research suggests that certain genetic predispositions can increase susceptibility to addiction, making some individuals more reactive to substances like alcohol or opioids.
Self-Sabotage Explanations: Addiction is sometimes framed as a form of unconscious self-destruction, where individuals engage in harmful behaviors due to low self-esteem or unresolved trauma.

While these views provide partial insights, they don’t fully address why addiction feels so intertwined with personal shame.

Shame Drives Addiction in Self-Psychology

Self-psychology, developed by Heinz Kohut, shifts the focus to shame as a core driver of addiction. In this framework, addiction arises from early experiences where natural needs for connection and independence are suppressed, leading to a cycle of hidden longings and self-reproach. Understanding this helps explain “why do some people have addiction”. It’s often a maladaptive attempt to fulfill unmet emotional needs in a private, shame-filled way.

Close Relationships Build a Healthy Self

Self-psychology emphasizes the development of a healthy and strong self through close and loving caregivers. Psychological health depends on taking in positive interactions that foster independence and intimacy.

Selfobjects are people, things, or experiences outside of us that help build and keep our sense of who we are. They meet key emotional needs. They’re especially important when kids are growing up, but they matter all through life. There are three main kinds: mirroring (which makes you feel valued), idealizing (which gives you strength from someone you look up to), and twinship (which makes you feel like you belong because of similarities).

Traditional View Of Addiction	Self-Psychology View of Addiction
Focuses on genetic vulnerabilities and self-sabotage	Emphasizes shame from unmet relational needs
Treats addiction as a biological disease	Sees addiction as a dysregulated attempt to fulfill longings for affection and autonomy
Interventions: Medication and behavioral therapy	Interventions: Building awareness and healthy selfobject relationships

Examples of Selfobjects in Self-Psychology

Mirroring Selfobjects

These help by showing approval and making the child feel special and seen, which builds confidence.

A mom who gets really excited and claps when her child takes their first steps, making the kid feel proud and important.
A dad who smiles and says “Great job!” when his child shows him a drawing, helping the kid feel noticed and good about themselves.
A parent who cheers for their child’s little wins, like learning to tie shoes, which makes the kid feel capable.

Idealizing Selfobjects

These help by being a strong, calm role model that the child can admire and feel safe with.

A child seeing their dad as a hero who stays calm during a scary storm, which helps the kid feel protected.
A parent acting as a wise helper during homework time, giving the child a sense of security and something to look up to.
A mom who stays steady and comforting when her child falls and gets hurt, easing the kid’s worries.

Twinship (Alter-Ego) Selfobjects

These help by creating a feeling of being similar and connected, like you’re on the same team.

A parent and child doing a fun activity together, like planting flowers in the garden, which makes the kid feel like they share the same interests.
A dad playing sports with his child who loves the same games, building a bond through feeling alike.
A mom working on a puzzle side by side with her child, giving comfort from the shared way they think and do things.

Each of these helps a child build the ability to feel affection and autonomy. Affection is the ability to feel close, intimate, soothed, and safe. Autonomy is the ability to feel proud, independent, strong, and capable.

Without Close Relationships, Shame Grows

When parents fail to meet a child’s needs for affection and autonomy, shame emerges, forcing the child to suppress natural emotions.

Parental shortcomings cause the child to feel ashamed of their desires for connection and independence.
These desires become unavailable and threatening to the parent-child bond.
The child disavows their experiences, suppressing longings instead of expressing them through hugs or prideful moments.
Suppressed selfobject needs don’t vanish; they retreat into private fantasies within the child’s mind.
These fantasies can become dysregulated, mixing pleasure with overwhelming shame.

This process sets the stage for later struggles, including addiction, as individuals seek to recapture these denied experiences in unhealthy ways.

Addiction Follows Early Shame

The addictive experience parallels the child’s retreat into fantasy, where suppressed needs for power, goodness, and connection manifest in a chaotic blend of pleasure and shame.

Parallels Between Childhood Shame and Adult Addiction

People with addictions, like kids who felt ashamed, see their needs for feeling affectionate and autonomous as inherently bad.
They turn to substances for love and freedom, feeling a blend of nice relief and guilty shame about themselves, just like the kid’s out-of-control daydreams.
They criticize themselves, feeling they’ve indulged too much, or have been too selfish.
They’re unaware of the good longings behind their chaotic behavior.

View Available Therapists

Healing Involves Awareness and Relational Fulfillment

Recovery in self-psychology focuses on uncovering the good longings – typically for love and freedom – at addiction’s core. This awareness fosters self-acceptance and encourages seeking these states in healthy relationships without shame. Therapy can help rebuild selfobject experiences, reducing reliance on substances.

Treatment Goals in Self-Psychology

Self-psychology therapy sets goals in three key areas: your inner thoughts and feelings (intrapsychic), your daily actions (behavioral), and your connections with others (relational). These goals help you address the shame and unmet needs at the root of addiction.

Inner Goals: Rebuilding Your Sense of Self

The focus here is on exploring and accepting your hidden feelings of shame about needing love and independence. Therapy helps you see these needs as normal, not weak or bad, so you can feel more whole inside without constant self-doubt. This is a challenge. In response to the rejection you faced early on, your mind forms defenses that keep you from accepting love for yourself. A good psychoanalytic therapist will help you through these obstacles so you can soothe yourself and experience inner strength.

Behavioral Goals: Changing Habits Step by Step

This involves looking at why you turn to substances and finding healthier ways to meet those same needs. Instead of strict rules, you’ll learn to pause during cravings and try new actions that make you feel good or in control in positive ways. Behavioral change isn’t about abstinence, it’s about practicing new ways to respond to your growing awareness of your needs for affection and autonomy. The more you can find healthy ways to direct your emotional energy, the less you tend to rely on addictive behaviors.

Relational Goals: Connecting Without Fear

Therapy uses your relationship with the therapist as a safe practice ground to express needs openly. The aim is to rebuild trust in others, so you can seek closeness and freedom in relationships without hiding or feeling ashamed. When you learn to accept affection and autonomy within yourself, we expect that your relationships change as well. You’ll find new ways to ask for and give love to those close to you. You won’t be as withdrawn or angry, but rather will be able to engage with your partner without shame. These changes can make a significant difference in your daily life.

What Healing Looks Like

As you move forward, progress shows up in small, meaningful shifts across the three areas, building on the supportive bond with your therapist.

Inner Progress: You’ll start noticing and naming shame without letting it overwhelm you. Over time, this turns into self-acceptance, where you view your longings for connection as valid. You might feel less empty or self-critical, replaced by a growing sense of inner strength.
Behavioral Progress: Early signs include spotting patterns in your habits, like linking cravings to loneliness. As you experiment, you’ll replace old behaviors with new ones, such as choosing a walk over a substance. Progress feels like more control and fewer automatic reactions, leading to habits that truly satisfy you.
Relational Progress: You’ll begin sharing more honestly in therapy, feeling heard without judgment. This builds confidence to do the same with others, reducing isolation. Progress means relationships where you can be yourself, with less fear of rejection and more genuine bonds.

Slips can happen, but they’re seen as chances to learn, not failures, helping you stay compassionate toward yourself.

Timeline of Expected Changes

Healing unfolds gradually, with the therapist’s empathy guiding you. Here’s what changes might look like in initial treatment (first few months) versus longer-term (6 months and beyond), affecting your daily life.

Initial Treatment: Building Foundations

In the early stages, expect subtle shifts as you get comfortable in therapy. Inner changes might include less intense self-hate and starting to spot shame triggers during the day. Behaviorally, you could track cravings in a journal, leading to small wins like delaying a habit once or twice a week—maybe better sleep or more energy follows. Relationally, therapy feels like a safe space to open up a bit, reducing some loneliness, though daily interactions might still feel guarded. Overall, life may seem a little less chaotic, with glimmers of hope.

Longer-Term Changes: Deeper Transformation

As time goes on, changes become more noticeable and lasting. Inner growth brings a steadier sense of self, where you wake up feeling okay and handle stress with kinder thoughts, cutting down on overwhelming urges. Behaviorally, new habits stick, like regular hobbies or coping tools, freeing up time and boosting accomplishments—you might notice improved health or focus at work. Relationally, you’ll form stronger connections outside therapy, sharing needs with friends or family, leading to less isolation and more joy in social time. Daily life often feels lighter and more authentic, with addiction fading as you embrace real fulfillment.

Many clients report feeling more alive and capable of true happiness. If this sounds helpful, reaching out to one of our therapists is a good way to start.

Overcome Addiction in Pasadena and Los Angeles

We’ve been serving Pasadena and Los Angeles for the past 10 years, helping people just like you understand and overcome the root of addiction. In our clients, addiction has show up in many ways: alcohol, pornography, social media, food, illegal substances, and gambling.

Other solutions can unwittingly create a cycle of shame. Many treatments for addiction focus on compliance: Monitoring and aiming to reduce addictive behaviors. While this sounds like a no-nonsense way to approach a destructive habit, our experience and research shows that behavioral interventions serve as temporary fixes to a much deeper problem. If compliance is the only goal, the addictive behavior will transfer to another behavior. For example, a person reduces their alcohol consumption, but secretly begins gambling instead. This is because the shame beneath the addictive behavior was never addressed, but was instead exasperated by the treatment.

Our approach is to increase awareness as to the emotional need behind the addictive impulse. Building awareness moves you from reactivity to agency; you become more empowered to make a choice about what to do with your feeling.

Reach out today for a free consultation with one of our therapists.

View Available Therapists

Ossanna Amran therapy for depression in pasadena — Ossanna Amran

Andrew Wong, Therapy for Depression and Men in Pasadena — Ossanna Amran

Frequently Asked Questions About Addiction and Shame

What Role Does Psychoanalysis Play in Understanding Addiction?

Psychoanalysis, including self-psychology, explores how early relational dynamics contribute to addiction, shifting focus from substances to emotional deficits.

Why Do Some People Develop Addiction While Others Don’t?

Individual differences in early experiences of shame and selfobject failures can make some more prone to using substances as a coping mechanism.

How Can I Overcome the Shame Associated with Addiction?

Start by recognizing shame as a learned response, then work with a therapist to reframe your longings as healthy and pursue them relationally.

Is Self-Psychology Effective for All Types of Addiction?

While it complements medical treatments, self-psychology is particularly helpful for addressing the emotional roots of behavioral and substance addictions.

Testing and Assessment

100 Reflective Therapy Questions to Deepen Self-Awareness and Growth

Written by Jamen

Sometimes the hardest part of therapy is knowing where to begin. The right question can open new doors, spark insights, and lead to growth you didn’t think possible. Whether you’re exploring these prompts in journaling, with a therapist, or simply during quiet reflection, the questions below are designed to support self-awareness, healing, and long-term growth.

How to Approach These Questions

Take your time. There’s no need to answer all 100. Even one question, explored fully, can shift your perspective.
Choose what feels safe. Some prompts may touch on painful memories or vulnerabilities. It’s okay to skip or return later.
Use multiple methods. Write, talk them through with a therapist, or even reflect on a walk.
Allow emotion. If something stirs sadness, anger, or fear, pause and breathe. Therapy is about compassion, not judgment.

Questions About the Past & Childhood (1–15)

Exploring your history can reveal the roots of today’s patterns.

What early memory feels most vivid to you?
How was love expressed in your family?
Which experiences shaped your sense of safety?
Did you feel truly seen as a child? By whom?
What role did you play in your family (helper, peacekeeper, rebel)?
What unspoken rules guided your household?
What did you learn about handling emotions as a child?
Were there moments when you felt deeply misunderstood?
What gave you comfort growing up?
How did school experiences shape your self-esteem?
What was your first experience of loss or grief?
What part of childhood do you miss most?
What wounds from the past still echo in the present?
Which childhood dreams did you leave behind?
How has your relationship with your family changed over time?

Our Pasadena Therapists

View All Therapists

Questions About Beliefs & Inner Narratives (16–30)

These prompts uncover the stories you tell yourself.

What belief about yourself feels hardest to let go of?
How do you explain your successes to yourself?
What thoughts repeat most often in your mind?
Which beliefs help you feel strong?
Which beliefs hold you back?
How do you view mistakes — as failures or as teachers?
What assumptions do you make about how others see you?
How do you measure whether you’re “enough”?
What hidden rules do you live by?
How has culture or community shaped your values?
What role does perfectionism play in your life?
How do you talk to yourself when you’re struggling?
Which parts of your identity feel most certain?
Which beliefs do you wish you could rewrite?

If you let go of one limiting story, what might open up?

Questions About Emotions & Inner Life (31–45)

Emotions are signals — not problems to fix.

Which feeling do you find hardest to accept?
How does your body show you’re anxious?
When do you feel most at peace?
What sparks joy in your daily life?
When do you feel the most anger?
How do you soothe yourself when overwhelmed?
What emotion comes most naturally to you?
What feelings make you want to shut down?
When was the last time you felt truly free?
What does sadness feel like in your body?
How do you react to feeling vulnerable?
Which emotions do you allow others to see?
How do you carry grief?
When did you last feel proud of yourself?
What does emotional safety mean to you?

Questions About Identity & Self-Concept (46–60)

These help you reflect on who you are beyond labels.

Who are you when roles and titles are stripped away?
What makes you feel most authentic?
When do you feel like you’re performing?
What do you want people to remember about you?
What qualities define your character?
What parts of yourself do you hide out of fear?
When do you feel most confident?
How do you define “home” for yourself?
What values guide your everyday choices?
What part of your identity feels in transition?
Who are you becoming right now?
How do you want to describe yourself in five years?
What qualities do you admire in others — and also carry yourself?
How do you relate to your inner critic?
What would self-acceptance look like for you today?

Questions About Relationships & Connection (61–75)

Relationships can mirror both your strengths and wounds.

Who makes you feel safest?
What friendships energize you most?
Which relationships drain you — and why?
How do you express care for others?
What makes you feel most loved?
How do you respond to conflict?
What role do boundaries play in your connections?
Who do you still need to forgive?
How do you rebuild trust once it’s broken?
What makes intimacy possible for you?
Which relationships feel unfinished?
How do you show up when someone else is hurting?
What patterns repeat in your partnerships?
How do you balance independence and closeness?
Who in your life really “gets” you?

6. Questions About Work, Stress & Purpose (76–85)

Because our careers often shape identity and stress levels.

What first drew you to your current line of work?
How do you know when you’re nearing burnout?
What does a “balanced” work life look like for you?
How much of your identity comes from your job?
What gives you purpose in your work?
What drains your energy at work most?
How do you handle pressure and deadlines?
What boundaries could protect your well-being at work?
What’s one small change that would make work feel better?
How do you define success on your own terms?

7. Questions About Growth, Future & Healing (86–100)

These prompts turn toward what’s possible.

What does healing mean for you right now?
What scares you about change?
What excites you about change?
How do you know when you’re growing?
What dream do you want to revisit?
How do you practice self-compassion?
What would you do if you trusted yourself more?
What small daily habit would change your life over time?
How do you want to feel one year from now?
What legacy do you want to leave behind?
Who do you want to become?
What part of your life feels most ready for renewal?
How do you create hope when things feel heavy?
What future vision brings you peace?
If fear weren’t in the way, what’s the first step you’d take?

Our Pasadena Therapists

View All Therapists

Why These Questions Matter

Reflecting on questions like these can:

Increase self-awareness and compassion
Reveal patterns you may not have noticed
Provide clarity during transitions or stress
Strengthen therapy sessions by giving you starting points

They’re not about “right” answers — they’re about inviting curiosity, healing, and growth.

FAQs

Do I need to answer all 100?
No. Choose the ones that feel meaningful. Even a few can spark insight.

Should I do this alone or with a therapist?
Both work. Journaling can deepen reflection, and therapy provides support to unpack tougher emotions.

What if I feel stuck on a question?
Skip it for now. Often the questions that make us pause are the ones worth returning to later.

Can these questions replace therapy?
They’re a tool, not a substitute. Therapy offers safe guidance to process what arises.

Final Note

At Here Counseling, we know self-awareness isn’t always comfortable — but it’s the foundation of healing. These 100 questions are a way to begin listening more closely to yourself. If you’d like to explore them in the safety of a therapeutic relationship, our Los Angeles and Pasadena therapists are here to walk with you.

Managing emotions

What Is Trauma Dumping?

Written by Jamen

Understanding Oversharing, Boundaries, and Healing

Imagine catching up with a friend when, without warning, they begin describing painful, traumatic memories in vivid detail. You want to be there for them, but suddenly you feel overwhelmed, unsure what to say, and even guilty for wanting to pull away.

This is what many people describe as trauma dumping — when someone unloads their trauma without checking whether the listener is prepared to hold it.

At Here Counseling, we believe trauma dumping isn’t about being “too much.” It’s usually an attempt to find relief from unbearable emotions. But without boundaries, this way of sharing can unintentionally harm both the sharer and the listener.

What Is Trauma Dumping?

Trauma dumping happens when painful experiences are shared abruptly, intensely, and without consent. Unlike healthy sharing, where there’s mutual understanding and pacing, trauma dumping is one-sided and often leaves the listener feeling flooded.

The difference lies not in the story itself, but in the way it’s told. Healthy sharing invites connection. Trauma dumping can overwhelm, strain relationships, and keep trauma unprocessed.

Why Trauma Dumping Happens

People rarely trauma dump on purpose. It usually comes from desperation rather than malice.

Some trauma survivors have never been shown how to set boundaries or regulate their emotions. Others simply don’t have safe outlets, so friends, partners, or even coworkers become default spaces for their pain. Often, the person is seeking immediate relief, unaware of the toll it takes on others.

Understanding this helps us replace judgment with compassion. The act may be overwhelming, but behind it is someone longing for connection, safety, and support.

The Impact on Relationships

Trauma dumping can weigh heavily on both sides. For the listener, it can create exhaustion, anxiety, or even secondary stress. Over time, it may lead to avoidance or resentment if the relationship feels one-sided.

For the sharer, the pattern can reinforce isolation. Instead of receiving genuine connection, they may feel rejected when others pull away. Retelling trauma repeatedly without professional guidance can also re-trigger painful emotions, preventing real healing.

Recognizing the Signs

You might be trauma dumping if you find yourself telling traumatic stories suddenly, without asking if it’s a good time. It may also look like retelling the same painful event without relief, or feeling compelled to “get it all out” in one conversation.

If you’re on the receiving end, you might notice yourself feeling drained, uncomfortable, or pressured to listen without space to respond.

Recognizing these dynamics is not about blame. It’s about becoming more aware of how trauma shows up in conversations, so both people can stay connected without harm.

How to Share Without Trauma Dumping

Sharing trauma is not wrong — it’s human. What matters is how we share and where. A few shifts can make a big difference.

Checking in first is a powerful step. Asking, “Is this a good time to talk about something difficult?” honors the other person’s boundaries and creates safety.

Pacing your story also helps. Rather than pouring everything out at once, try focusing on one part and pausing to see how the listener responds. If the emotions feel too intense, journaling, grounding exercises, or breathwork can help you regulate before opening up to someone else.

Most importantly, seeking therapy offers a safe, structured space to explore trauma. Unlike friends or coworkers, a therapist is trained to hold the weight of painful stories, guide you through processing, and help you find relief that lasts.

Our Pasadena Therapists

View All Therapists

Responding Thoughtfully as a Listener

If someone begins trauma dumping with you, it’s normal to feel conflicted. You want to be supportive, but you also need to care for yourself. Here are compassionate ways to respond:

You might acknowledge their pain with something like, “I can see this is really hard for you.” Then set a gentle boundary: “I want to support you, but I’m not in the right headspace to go deep right now.”

You can also redirect them toward professional support: “This sounds like something a therapist could really help with. Would you consider talking to someone trained in this?”

Afterward, take care of yourself. Even short conversations about trauma can be draining. Giving yourself space to rest, reflect, or ground again ensures you don’t carry the weight alone.

The Role of Therapy

The urge to tell your trauma story is deeply human. But repeating it without containment can reinforce cycles of pain. Therapy provides a different path.

In a therapeutic space, you can share at your own pace with someone trained to hold the intensity of trauma. Approaches such as EMDR, somatic therapy, and psychodynamic work help you process memories in ways that bring genuine relief rather than re-traumatization.

At Here Counseling, our therapists in Los Angeles and Pasadena offer a safe, compassionate environment for this kind of work. We don’t just listen — we help you move from cycles of overwhelm toward clarity, connection, and healing.

Our Pasadena Therapists

View All Therapists

FAQs

Is trauma dumping intentional?
Usually not. It often happens when someone feels overwhelmed and doesn’t realize they’re crossing boundaries.

Does trauma dumping mean I’m toxic?
No. It means you may not yet have found safe outlets. With therapy and awareness, you can learn new ways of sharing.

Can trauma dumping damage relationships?
Yes, it can strain connections. But with healthier communication and professional support, relationships can also heal.

How do I set boundaries without hurting someone?
Be honest and compassionate. Try: “I care about you, but I don’t have the space to go into this right now. Let’s revisit later.”

Why is therapy safer than trauma dumping?
Therapy provides a structured, confidential space where your story can be shared without overwhelming others and with professional guidance toward healing.

Final Thoughts

Wanting to share your trauma is not wrong — it’s a sign of being human. But without boundaries, trauma dumping can leave both people feeling more burdened than connected. Healing comes when stories are shared in safe, supportive spaces.

If you’ve felt caught in cycles of oversharing or disconnection, therapy can provide the relief you’ve been searching for. At Here Counseling, we’re here to help you process trauma in a way that restores balance and creates lasting change.

Schedule a call with our Care Coordinator today and take the first step toward safe, compassionate healing.

Managing emotions, Somatic Exercises

Find Relief from Shame With These 3 Somatic Exercises

Written by juliawilson

When Self-Blame Keeps You In Burnout

It’s the end of the day, and you feel exhausted. The laundry list of things you started with in the morning is still half undone. You’re irritable with friends who want to hang out, even though part of you wants to see them. But mostly, you’re frustrated with yourself, thinking: “How did I get to the end of the day AGAIN with so much left undone? I should have been able to do more…”

The problem here isn’t just stress — it’s the “shoulds.” The repeated “should-ing” is often a sign that shame has taken the wheel. Shame isn’t just a thought in your head. It’s a full-body experience that pulls you into self-criticism, withdrawal, and hypervigilance. But here’s the good news: your body isn’t the enemy. In fact, it holds the doorway to healing.

What Is Shame?

Shame is the emotion that whispers, “I am bad” instead of “I did something bad.” When you feel overwhelmed by your to-do list or worry you’re letting friends down, shame can convince you that it’s not just your choices that are the problem — it’s you.

How Shame is Connected to Burnout

This self-judgment doesn’t just live in your mind — it drains your energy and keeps your body tense, linking shame directly to burnout. Burnout isn’t just about having too much on your plate — it’s also fueled by shame. When you constantly judge yourself for not doing enough, your body and mind stay in a state of tension. That “I should have…” voice doesn’t just create mental stress; it triggers the same physiological collapse that shame causes, keeping you trapped in exhaustion, self-criticism, and disconnection. In other words, burnout and shame are often two sides of the same coin: one drains your energy, the other convinces you that it’s your fault.

Why Shame Shows Up

From an evolutionary perspective, shame originally served to keep us safe and connected. Historically, if we risked being excluded from the group, shame acted as an internal alarm: “Don’t do that — you might get cast out.” Because humans depend on belonging, shame evolved as a way to keep us tethered to relationships.

That’s why shame is so often relational. It’s less about personal failure and more about disconnection. At its core, shame is a bid for reconnection.

How Shame Lives in the Body

When shame gets activated, many of us experience a kind of collapse. Even if shame tells you to “do more,” the underlying experience is one of defeat. Your body might slump forward, your gaze lowers, your voice gets quieter, and you feel smaller. Physiologically, your nervous system is moving into a withdrawal state — a survival response that once protected you, but now keeps you stuck.

Where Does Shame Come From?

Shame can take root in many ways. Sometimes it comes from early relational experiences:

A parent who disciplined harshly or sent the message that you were bad, not just your behavior.
A teacher who shamed you in front of the class.
Peer bullying that left you feeling unworthy or unlikable.

Cultural messages reinforce this wiring. We all absorb ideas about what emotions are “acceptable,” what bodies are “beautiful,” and what level of productivity equals “success.” When we inevitably fall short of these narrow ideals, shame floods in, telling us we’re not enough.

Over time, repeated relational injuries — especially in environments where shame was used as control or where love felt conditional — shape the nervous system. Shame becomes an automatic response to certain triggers, like making a mistake, being vulnerable, or even resting.

3 Common Patterns of Shame

Shame doesn’t just live in our thoughts — it shapes how we show up in daily life. Over time, shame creates patterns that can leave us stuck in cycles of exhaustion, self-doubt, and disconnection. Here are three of the most common ways shame shows up in our bodies, minds, and relationships:

1. Self-Criticism & Overthinking

Replaying mistakes, a harsh inner voice, the feeling that no matter what you do, it’s never enough.

You replay mistakes over and over, trying to figure out what you should have done differently. The inner voice gets harsh and relentless: “Why can’t you just get it right?” Even when you’ve done something well, shame convinces you it wasn’t enough.

2. Avoidance & Disconnection

Pulling away from people or opportunities to avoid judgment, rejection, or failure.

To avoid being judged or rejected, you start pulling back. Maybe you cancel plans, stop sharing openly, or avoid taking risks. On the surface it looks like “just needing space,” but underneath it’s about protecting yourself from potential shame.

3. People-Pleasing & Compliance

Saying yes when you want to say no, suppressing your needs to keep connection (but leaving yourself depleted).

Instead of risking disapproval, you give in. You say yes when you want to say no. You hide your real feelings or silence your needs to maintain connection. While this might prevent immediate conflict, it often leaves you feeling unseen, exhausted, and resentful.

These patterns are painful, but they’re not signs that you’re broken. They’re survival strategies your body learned long ago to protect you from the threat of disconnection. And because they live in the body, the body is also where healing begins.

Three Steps to Healing Through Somatic Awareness

The work of healing shame isn’t about erasing it. Shame is part of being human. Instead, it’s about changing how we respond when shame arises. Since shame shows up not only in our thoughts but also in our posture, breath, and nervous system, the body is one of the most powerful places to begin.

1. Notice the Body’s Signals of Shame.

When shame surfaces, the body often shifts into a collapse state: your shoulders round forward, your gaze drops, your voice gets quieter, or your chest feels tight. Begin by simply noticing these signals without judgment. The act of noticing creates space between you and the shame response.

2. Soften and Create Space in the Body.

This could be as simple as taking a slower, deeper breath, uncrossing your arms, or placing your feet firmly on the ground. Small movements signal safety to the nervous system and interrupt the spiral of collapse.

3. Nurture with Compassionate Touch or Movement.

Offer your body the same care you might give a hurting child or friend. Place a hand over your heart and take a deep breath, stretch in a way that feels kind, or maybe go on a short walk. These small gestures remind your body that it is safe, worthy, and deserving of compassion.

Each time you notice shame and respond with gentleness instead of self-blame, you’re rewiring your nervous system. Over time, your body learns that it no longer needs to collapse into shame — it can move toward connection, safety, and compassion instead.

Move From Shame Toward Compassion

Shame can feel overwhelming. It can keep you stuck in burnout. But it doesn’t have to define you. When you start to recognize shame’s signals and respond with curiosity and kindness, you loosen its grip. Each breath, each shift in posture, each small act of compassion toward your body becomes a way of saying: I am not the enemy. I am worth care.

Healing shame isn’t about getting rid of it altogether. It’s about building a new relationship with yourself — one where your body is not a battleground, but a guide back to connection and peace.

If you find yourself caught in cycles of self-blame and overwhelm, know that you don’t have to walk through it alone. At Here Counseling, we help people untangle these patterns and reconnect with themselves in more compassionate, embodied ways. Reaching out for support can be the first step in learning to live with more ease, gentleness, and freedom.

I’d love to walk with you. You can gain insight into your self-blame. You can build new patterns. And you can find freedom from the overwhelm. Reach out today.

Schedule a Free Consultation for Trauma Therapy in Pasadena

Julia Wilson, MA

I’m a trained integrative trauma therapist practicing in Pasadena, CA. When you’re stuck in cycles of burnout, shame, or overwhelm, I can help you grow through deeper awareness and acceptance. I help individuals and adolescents tune into their bodies, notice shame’s signals, and build self-compassion while reclaiming their inner strength.

Learn more about Trauma Therapy with Julia

Parenting, Testing and Assessment

Cost of Adoption in California

Written by Jamen

Understanding Adoption Expenses and What They Mean for Your Journey

Adoption is one of the most profound ways a family can grow. It creates lifelong bonds, offers a child stability and love, and opens the door to a future filled with possibility. But alongside the emotional considerations, many families face a practical and pressing question:

“How much does adoption cost in California?”

It’s a fair and important question. Adoption can be an incredible experience, but it also comes with financial responsibilities that deserve clarity. If you’re considering adoption, understanding the typical expenses involved will help you prepare with confidence, avoid surprises, and focus more fully on the joy of welcoming a child into your life.

In this article, we’ll break down the average cost of adoption in California, explore what those fees actually cover, and discuss why costs can vary so widely.

How Much Does It Cost to Adopt a Child in California?

The cost of adoption in California varies depending on several factors: the type of adoption you pursue, the agency you choose, the birth mother’s needs, and legal considerations.

For domestic infant adoptions, most families in California can expect costs to fall between $40,000 and $70,000.

Yes, that’s a significant range. And understandably, many prospective parents are surprised when they first hear these numbers. But it’s important to remember: these costs include far more than paperwork. They cover a wide spectrum of services designed to ensure a safe, ethical, and supportive adoption experience for everyone involved: you, the birth mother, and most importantly, the child.

What’s Included in California Adoption Costs?

Adoption costs are generally divided into two categories:

Agency Fees — paid to the adoption professional who guides you through the process.
Variable Expenses — costs that depend on the unique needs of the birth mother and the child.

Let’s break these down further.

Agency Fees Explained

Working with an adoption agency in California usually means paying agency fees. These are not arbitrary numbers; they cover essential services that make adoption possible, ethical, and supportive.

Advertising & Outreach:
Finding a birth mother who is considering adoption takes time, effort, and resources. Agencies invest heavily in outreach and advertising so hopeful adoptive families have more opportunities to connect. The more resources an agency allocates to outreach, the faster families may be matched.
Matching Services:
Once a birth mother expresses interest, agencies provide matching services. This might include creating your adoptive family profile, facilitating communication, and ensuring both parties feel supported as they begin this life-changing relationship.
Counseling & Support:
Adoption is emotional for everyone involved. Many agencies include counseling services for both adoptive families and birth mothers. This ensures that everyone feels heard, supported, and prepared for the journey ahead.

Agency fees can look different depending on the professional you choose, but they typically make up a large portion of the overall adoption cost in California.

Variable Expenses

Beyond agency fees, families also cover variable expenses. These depend on the birth mother’s circumstances, medical needs, and legal requirements.

Legal Services and Expenses:
Adoption is a legal process, requiring attorneys to ensure parental rights are properly terminated, adoption is finalized, and all procedures follow California law. Legal fees can vary significantly, but they are essential to protecting both the child and the adoptive family.
Living Expenses for the Birth Mother:
California law allows adoptive families to cover certain living expenses for the birth mother during her pregnancy. This may include rent, groceries, transportation, utilities, or maternity clothing. These costs provide stability and ensure that the mother can focus on her health and well-being while preparing for adoption.
Medical Expenses:
Prenatal care, delivery, and postnatal care for both the birth mother and baby are typically part of adoption costs. Insurance coverage can offset some of these expenses, but in cases where coverage is limited, adoptive families are often responsible for filling the gap.

Together, these variable expenses account for a significant portion of adoption costs in California.

Why Do Adoption Costs Vary So Much in California?

When families hear a range like $40,000 to $70,000, the first reaction is often confusion: why such a big difference?

Several factors influence total adoption costs:

The adoption professional you choose — full-service agencies often charge more but provide broader support.
Birth mother’s individual needs — living expenses, medical care, and counseling vary.
Legal complexity — some cases require more extensive legal work than others.
Insurance coverage — if the birth mother has insurance, medical expenses may be lower.
Geographic considerations — in some areas, living and medical costs are simply higher.

Every adoption is unique, and these variables mean that no two adoption journeys look exactly the same.

Our Pasadena Therapists

View All Therapists

Planning Ahead for Adoption Expenses

Hearing the costs can feel overwhelming. But there are ways to plan and prepare so that finances don’t become a barrier to building your family.

Ask for Transparency:
Always request a detailed breakdown of what an agency’s fees cover. Look for professionals who use fixed fees and avoid hidden costs.
Budget Thoughtfully:
Begin saving early and explore financing options. Some families set up dedicated savings accounts specifically for adoption-related expenses.
Explore Adoption Grants and Loans:
There are organizations that provide financial assistance to adoptive families. Researching grants or low-interest adoption loans can help ease the burden.
Consider Tax Benefits:
Adoptive families may qualify for the Federal Adoption Tax Credit, which can offset some of the financial investment.

By planning ahead and asking the right questions, you can take the uncertainty out of adoption costs and focus on what matters most: your future child.

The Emotional Investment Behind Adoption Costs

It’s important to step back and remember what adoption represents. The fees aren’t just transactions — they fund services that make adoption safe, ethical, and sustainable.

They ensure birth mothers are cared for and supported.
They guarantee that legal steps are handled with integrity.
They create opportunities for children to enter loving, permanent homes.

The cost of adoption in California may feel daunting, but when viewed as an investment in your child’s future and your family’s growth, the perspective begins to shift.

Why Choose Here Counseling for Adoption Assessment

At Here Counseling, we understand that adoption is one of the most meaningful and life-changing decisions a family can make. Our Pre-adoption assessments are designed to be both thorough and compassionate, helping prospective parents feel supported throughout the process. We take time to get to know your story, values, and hopes for the future so that the assessment reflects who you truly are. Our goal is not only to meet legal and professional requirements but also to create a safe, encouraging environment where families feel prepared and confident.

What sets us apart is our dedication to individualized care and professional expertise. Every adoption journey is unique, and we approach each assessment with sensitivity, respect, and a deep understanding of the challenges and rewards involved. With experienced counselors who specialize in adoption-related services, we ensure that families receive the guidance, clarity, and reassurance they need. Choosing Here Counseling means having a trusted partner by your side as you take this important step toward building or expanding your family.

Our Pasadena Therapists

View All Therapists

Final Thoughts on Adoption Expenses in California

Adoption is both a financial and emotional journey. While the costs in California can be significant, they reflect the many moving parts of an adoption process that prioritizes the well-being of the child, the birth mother, and the adoptive family.

If you’re beginning to explore adoption, the most important step is gathering accurate, transparent information. Know what to expect, ask the right questions, and choose an adoption professional who values honesty and care as much as you do.

The investment is real, but so is the reward — a family built on love, commitment, and the promise of a brighter future.

Anxiety

What to Consider When Choosing a Therapist in Pasadena, CA

Written by Jamen

Finding the right therapist can feel overwhelming. With so many choices in Pasadena — from private practices in Old Town to larger clinics downtown and even online options — it’s not always easy to know where to start. Therapy is a deeply personal investment of time, energy, and money. Choosing someone who understands your needs, makes you feel safe, and has the right training is one of the most important steps you can take toward healing.

As a counseling practice based in Pasadena, I’ve seen how life-changing the right therapeutic match can be. This guide will walk you through the key factors to consider when choosing a therapist in Pasadena, CA, so you can feel confident and informed in your decision.

Why Choosing the Right Therapist Matters

Therapy is more than just talking — it’s about building a relationship that supports real change. Research shows that the therapeutic alliance (your sense of trust and connection with your therapist) is one of the strongest predictors of whether therapy will help you. You could work with someone who has an impressive resume, but if you don’t feel heard, safe, or respected, progress will be limited.

That’s why this process isn’t just about credentials or directories. It’s about finding the right fit for you.

Step 1: Clarify What You’re Looking For

Before you begin searching, take some time to reflect on your goals. Ask yourself:

Am I looking for help with anxiety, depression, or trauma?
Do I need support for my child, teen, or family?
Would I benefit from a structured, short-term approach like CBT, or do I want to explore deeper patterns through long-term therapy?

In Pasadena, you’ll find therapists who work across a wide range of specialties — from couples counseling in Old Town to somatic therapy practices near East Colorado Boulevard. Narrowing your focus will help you filter through the options more quickly.

Step 2: Understand Credentials and Specialties

When you start searching, you’ll see titles like LMFT, LCSW, PsyD, or PhD. Each represents a different type of training:

LMFT (Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist): Often trained to work with couples, families, and relationship issues.
LCSW (Licensed Clinical Social Worker): Focuses on mental health but also considers social systems, environment, and resources.
PsyD/PhD (Clinical Psychologist): Extensive training in assessment, diagnosis, and research-based treatment.

Beyond licenses, many therapists have specialized training — for example, EMDR for trauma, CBT for anxiety and depression, or somatic therapy for mind-body healing. In Pasadena, it’s common to see therapists highlight these specialties in their profiles.

Tip: Don’t just look for a long list of techniques. Look for evidence that the therapist has experience applying them to issues like yours.

Step 3: Practical Considerations — Location, Availability, and Format

Therapy only works if you can actually stick with it. That means considering the practical side:

Location: If you’re commuting across Pasadena or from nearby Los Angeles, convenience matters. Here Counseling, for example, is located at 595 E Colorado Blvd, with street parking nearby.
Availability: Evening and weekend sessions are in high demand. Make sure the therapist’s schedule aligns with yours.
Format: Many Pasadena therapists now offer both in-person and online sessions. Telehealth can be just as effective for many people, and it adds flexibility if traffic or childcare is an issue.

Think long term — is this someone you can realistically see week after week without constant scheduling stress?

Step 4: Fees, Insurance, and Payment Options

Money can be an uncomfortable subject, but it’s an important part of the decision. In Pasadena, many therapists operate out-of-network, meaning you’ll pay upfront and then submit claims to your insurance company for partial reimbursement.

Questions to ask include:

Do you take insurance directly, or provide superbills?
Do you offer a sliding scale based on income?
What is your cancellation policy?

If cost is a major barrier, consider community clinics, therapy collectives, or online platforms that offer lower-cost options. But remember: therapy is an investment in your well-being, and the right fit often outweighs the cheapest option.

Step 5: The First Call — Questions to Ask

Most therapists offer a free 10–20 minute consultation call. This is your chance to get a feel for their style and approach. Here are some questions you might ask:

Have you worked with people who share my concerns?
What therapeutic approach do you use, and how might it help me?
How do you measure progress?
What can I expect in the first few sessions?

Pay attention not just to their answers, but to how you feel during the conversation. Do you feel respected? Do they explain things in a way you can understand? Are they open to your questions?

Step 6: Trust the Fit

This is where your instincts come in. The right therapist is someone you feel comfortable opening up to — not right away, but enough to imagine trust building over time.

Signs you’ve found a good fit:

You feel heard and not judged.
The therapist listens more than they talk, but also gives structure and direction.
You leave sessions feeling supported, even if the work feels challenging.

If you don’t feel a connection after a few sessions, it’s okay to move on. Many people try two or three therapists before finding the one that feels right.

Step 7: Red Flags to Watch Out For

While rare, it’s important to recognize when a therapist might not be the right choice. Red flags include:

They dismiss or minimize your concerns.
They frequently cancel or reschedule without explanation.
They push their own agenda instead of listening to yours.
They make promises of quick fixes.

Therapy takes work and time. A trustworthy therapist will be honest about that.

Step 8: Evaluate Progress

Therapy isn’t meant to last forever. While some people stay in therapy for ongoing support, others seek short-term solutions. After 6–8 sessions, check in with yourself:

Do I feel any relief or progress?
Am I gaining tools to cope outside of sessions?
Do I have a better understanding of my challenges?

If the answer is “yes,” you’re on the right track. If not, bring it up with your therapist — or consider a different approach.

Local Resources in Pasadena

If you’re searching for therapists in Pasadena, here are a few resources to start with:

Here Counseling — offering anxiety therapy, family therapy, somatic therapy, and Couple counseling both in-office and online.
Community mental health clinics — options for lower-cost therapy, sometimes with interns supervised by licensed professionals.
Psychology Today & Zencare directories — filter by specialty, insurance, and availability.

Our Pasadena Therapists

View All Therapists

Why Consider Here Counseling in Pasadena, CA

Finding the right therapist can feel overwhelming, but choosing a trusted local practice can make the process smoother. At Here Counseling in Pasadena, CA, you’ll find a team of compassionate and experienced therapists who understand that every individual and family has unique challenges.

What sets Here Counseling apart is the emphasis on creating a supportive, non-judgmental space where you can truly feel heard. Whether you’re looking for help with anxiety, depression, relationship struggles, or family challenges, their therapists tailor sessions to your needs rather than offering a one-size-fits-all approach.

Because they’re rooted in the Pasadena community, Here Counseling also brings a deep awareness of the stressors and lifestyle factors specific to the area — from balancing busy careers and family life to navigating the pressures of living in a fast-paced city. This local understanding adds an extra layer of care to the therapeutic process.

If you’re ready to take the next step in your healing journey, Here Counseling offers both in-person and online sessions, making therapy accessible no matter your schedule.

FAQs

How do I find a good therapist in Pasadena?
Start by clarifying your needs, checking credentials, and scheduling consultations. Use directories like Psychology Today, and don’t be afraid to try more than one therapist before deciding.

How much does therapy cost in Pasadena?
Individual sessions typically range from $125–$250. Many therapists provide superbills for out-of-network reimbursement. Sliding scales and lower-cost options are available through community clinics.

Is online therapy effective?
Yes. Research shows that online therapy can be just as effective as in-person sessions for many issues, including anxiety, depression, and stress.

How long will I need therapy?
It depends on your goals. Some people benefit from short-term therapy lasting a few months, while others continue for a year or longer. Your therapist should revisit your goals periodically to assess progress.

What if I don’t connect with my therapist?
It’s okay to switch. Finding the right fit is part of the process, and most therapists understand if you decide to try someone else.

Our Pasadena Therapists

View All Therapists

Final Thoughts

Choosing a therapist in Pasadena is about more than credentials or convenience. It’s about finding someone you can trust, who understands your needs, and who offers the tools and support to help you heal.

If you’re ready to take that step, Here Counseling offers both in-person therapy at our Pasadena office and online sessions for flexibility. Whether you’re seeking help with anxiety, trauma, family struggles, or life transitions, our therapists are here to walk with you on your journey.

You don’t have to figure it out alone — the right support is here in Pasadena.

Managing emotions, Somatic Exercises

Emotional & Somatic Flashbacks: How Trauma Shows Up in the Body

Written by Addy Sonneland

What Are Emotional & Somatic Flashbacks?

When we talk about flashbacks, many people imagine vivid mental images of traumatic events. Emotional flashbacks are a bit different. Emotional flashbacks happen when the emotions tied to past trauma return (hurt, shame, fear, worthlessness, etc.) without a clear memory or image. Somatic flashbacks (or somatic re-experiencing) are bodily sensations that echo trauma—tightness, nausea, trembling, heart racing, freezing, pain, or other physical sensations that don’t seem to have a present cause. Occasionally, emotional and somatic flashbacks overlap. These experiences are especially common for those who have experienced complex trauma (C-PTSD) and trauma histories, especially when childhood or developmental trauma has occurred. (Charlie Health)

What the Research Shows Us: Body, Memory, and Trauma

Let’s look at what research tell us about how and why somatic/emotional flashbacks happen, how the body is involved, and, most importantly, what it means for healing.

Body Memories & Negative Bodily Experiences

In Clinical Manifestations of Body Memories (2022), researchers explores how negative bodily experiences from the past are stored as “body memories,” and the ways they influence behavior and physical responses even in the absence of conscious recall (PMC), Similar to visual memories, our bodies also can recall the events we have lived through. Likely, these are not conscious thoughts, but rather sensations (tightness in the chest, pain in the abdomen, nausea, trembling) or automatic behaviors like freezing, bracing, or withdrawing.

Body memories can “pull” the nervous system into sympathetic or dorsal vagal states as if the old trauma is still happening. The body reacts to past danger in the present moment, bypassing conscious awareness. That’s why someone might suddenly feel panicked, nauseated, or disconnected without knowing why—because their nervous system is protecting them based on an old template.

2. Neural Sensory Overwhelm, Dysregulation & Sensory Reactivity
Research on PTSD (and PTSD with dissociative symptoms) shows that traumatic experiences change how the nervous system responds to sensory input. Sensory stimuli—even subtle ones—can overwhelm processing regions in the brainstem/midbrain, triggering intense emotional or bodily reactions (Frontiers). Stimuli that otherwise might be neutral like a car honking in the distance or someone dropping their phone can shift the nervous system into dysregulation.

Think of your nervous system like a smoke alarm. A well-tuned alarm only goes off when there’s real smoke. But after trauma, the alarm can become overly sensitive—it blares at burnt toast, not just a house fire. Sensory overwhelm is your body’s alarm system going off too often or too intensely.

3. Interoceptive Awareness & Mental Health
Interoception is the awareness of sensations inside the body. In “The Body Can Balance the Score: Using a Somatic Self-Care…” researchers argue that strengthening interoceptive awareness helps people track and regulate their bodily sensations more effectively, reducing distress in cases of trauma and PTSD (PMC). Interoceptive awareness is your ability to notice and make sense of the signals coming from inside your body. These signals include things like your heartbeat, hunger, thirst, muscle tension, breathing, or the “gut feeling” you get when something feels right or wrong. It’s basically your inner notification center telling you what’s happening inside so you can respond in a healthy way.

4. Effectiveness of Somatic Therapies
Research is showing that somatic therapies—like Somatic Experiencing—can make a real difference for people living with trauma. In fact, randomized controlled trials (the gold standard in research) have found that this approach not only reduces PTSD symptoms but can also ease depression and even chronic physical sensations of pain (Psych Central). What makes this exciting is that it confirms what many people already feel in their own bodies: trauma isn’t just in the mind, it’s in the body too. And when therapy directly works with the body—through gentle awareness, movement, and regulation—it can support healing on multiple levels.

What Emotional Flashbacks Feel Like

Sudden waves of an old emotion (shame, fear, grief) without clear “this is why” trigger
Bodily sensations: tight chest, racing heart, dizziness, shaking or trembling, freezing
Disconnection: feeling unreal, like you’re observing from outside, or stuck in a younger version of self
Time distortion: feeling as if you were back in the moment of trauma, or that it’s still ongoing
Inner critic activation: harsh self-talk, feelings of worthlessness, or believing you’re “bad” without a clear reason.
Shame spirals: wanting to hide, collapse, or withdraw suddenly.
Heightened sensory sensitivity: everyday sounds, light, and touch feel overwhelming or unbearable

Four Somatic Therapy Interventions to Help

Intervention	What It Does / Why It Helps	How to Use It
1. Grounding through the body & orient to the present	This helps shift your nervous system from being in “past/ trauma mode” into the present. Grounding reduces dissociation and helps remind your body that you are safe now.	When you notice flashback symptoms, try things like pressing your feet into the floor, feeling the texture of something nearby, naming 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste. Pair grounding with time-stamping, telling yourself “This is 2025…I am in my home/a safe environment…the abusive situation is over… I am no longer around unsafe people…This is an adult body. I survived…”. (Pasadena Trauma Therapy)
2. Somatic pacing or pendulation	This idea-often used in somatic experiencing or sensorimotor therapy-gives you a way to gently move between a state of high arousal/activation (flashback) and something calmer, so you don’t get overwhelmed. Your body learns it can tolerate distress and return to regulation.	For example: when you feel the flashback coming, notice the sensations, but after a short while shift attention to something calming (soft touch, soothing sounds, safe memory). You might literally rock or sway, do gentle movement, alternate arm/leg movements, or shift your focus to somewhere physically present and safe. Over time you can increase the “distance” or duration you spend in noticing discomfort before returning to calm.
3. Breath work & activating the parasympathetic nervous system	Flashbacks often trigger sympathetic arousal (fight/flight/freeze). Conscious breathing can engage the parasympathetic branch, slowing the heart, relaxing the body, reducing panic.	A few options: 4-7-8 breathing (inhale 4, hold 7, exhale 8), belly/diaphragmatic breathing, exhaling slowly through the mouth with an audible sigh to exhale. Pair breathing with soft affirmations like “I am safe now” or “This is a body memory, I am not in present danger”. Practicing breathwork when calm will help make deep breathing a habit that is accessible to you in an activated state.
4. Movement, sensory input & safe touch	Movement helps the body complete responses that may have been “stuck” during trauma; sensory input (touch, pressure, warmth) helps “re-anchor” the body in the here and now. Movement naturally helps modulate over-activation or numbness.	Movement practices and intentional sensory input like gentle yoga, slowly walking in nature, shaking/tremoring (with guidance or in safe space), tactile self-soothing (holding a soft object, putting hands under cold running water, hugging yourself, weighted blanket) shift the nervous system toward regulation. As you move, practice body scans to notice where tension is, then consciously relax or non-judgmentally observe those muscles. If safe and if accessible, massage or therapeutic touch can ease somatic flashbacks. Remember to stay within tolerable limits—slow movement or decrease sensory input as needed.

Putting it all together: a gentle self-care plan

Here’s a sample flow you might try when a flashback hits, combining the tools above. You can adapt this based on what feels safest / what resonates.

Notice & Name
“I am having a somatic/emotional flashback.” Naming it helps shift the experience from being overwhelming and unnamable to something you can respond to.
Ground Into the Present
Use time-stamping and grounding: touch, look around, feel your feet, describe surroundings. Speak to yourself, reminding yourself you are safe and in the present moment.
Regulate Through Breath
Once slightly grounded, initiate slow, calm breathing. As breath slows, allow the body’s intensity to lessen.
Pendulate / Movement
When safe, allow small movement or gentle shifts. Then return to rest, softness, slowing. As needed, alternate until you feel more anchored.
Soothing Sensation or Safe Touch
Use soft touch, warmth, safe object around you. Let your skin/ body feel “something kind.”

Healing That Lasts: Returning the Traumatized Nervous System to Safety and Regulation

Healing from trauma is a journey, and it doesn’t happen overnight. As much as we all wish there were a quick fix, trauma leaves real changes in how our brains and bodies respond to the world. Recovery is about gently creating new experiences of safety and regulation so that, over time, your nervous system learns it’s okay to stay within a steadier, calmer “window of tolerance.”

Coping tools you use on your own can be very helpful, but research shows that healing often goes deeper when you have the support of a trauma-informed therapist—especially one trained in approaches like Somatic Therapy, EMDR, Somatic Experiencing, Brainspotting, or Polyvagal-based practices.

You’ve probably had moments where you instantly felt calmer just by being around someone steady and kind—or, on the flip side, noticed yourself becoming tense around someone who’s anxious or angry. That’s not just imagination. It’s your nervous system tuning in to someone else’s nervous system. Through things like tone of voice, facial expression, body posture, and even subtle shifts in breathing, our bodies are constantly “reading” cues of safety or danger in others. This happens automatically, beneath conscious thought, through a process called neuroception (a concept from polyvagal theory). This is why somatic trauma therapies are so effective—they actively use the therapist’s calm, attuned presence to help the body re-learn safety and regulation through co-regulation. Each session is a new experience for the your nervous system to encode!

The Reality of Emotional & Somatic Flashbacks

Flashbacks rarely disappear overnight, and the path to healing is rarely a straight line. With consistent practice and support, they may become less frequent or intense over time, but it’s normal for sensations or emotions to still feel overwhelming at moments. Whenever possible, do this work with someone you trust or a trained professional, and remember to be gentle with yourself—frustration, shame, or fear about having flashbacks are normal, but they aren’t helpful. Every time you notice these experiences with awareness and self-compassion, you are taking steps toward healing.

It’s also important to pay attention to your physical health: if new or concerning symptoms appear—like heart racing, dizziness, chest pain, shortness of breath, or fainting—check in with a medical professional, as these could be related to conditions such as arrhythmia, anemia, thyroid issues, low blood pressure, or other health concerns, not just trauma.

Your path forward

Emotional and somatic flashbacks are intense. They can make you feel trapped in the past, disconnected from your body, or overwhelmed by sensations you don’t fully understand. But they are not signs of failure—they are signals. Signals that your nervous system is still carrying unresolved pain. The body is trying to communicate what words sometimes cannot.

The good news: research and many practitioners have shown that with somatic awareness, grounding, supportive movement, breath, and gentle, compassionate self-care, people can learn to ride the waves of flashbacks rather than be swept away by them. Over time, they can lessen—both in frequency and in the intensity of the responses with the help of a trained mental health professional. Your not stuck, your nervous system is crying out for regulation. Healing is right around the corner and your body can learn to be safe again.

Schedule a Free Consultation for Somatic Therapy in Pasadena

Addy Sonneland, Somatic Therapy

Hi, I’m Addy, a trained integrative somatic trauma therapist. If you notice trauma showing up in your body, whether through flashbacks, muscle tension, or overwhelming sensations, this isn’t something have to go through it alone. I help individuals and adolescents recover from trauma, rewire their nervous system, and tap into their innate inner strength.

Learn more about Somatic Therapy with Addy

Managing emotions

How Long to Heal Childhood Trauma? 1-3 Years with Therapy, Research Says

Written by herecounseling

You’ve carried it quietly for decades: that knot in your chest from a childhood home laced with shouts, neglect, or worse. Now, as an adult, it sneaks in: explosive reactions in relationships, executive function fog, or a vague “stuck” feeling amid life’s fires (literal or not). If you’re asking, How long until I feel whole?breathe. Survivors like you arrive resilient but weary, often after losses amplify old wounds. Science affirms: Healing isn’t endless; with therapy, it’s a structured journey to freedom. Here’s what research reveals, and steps to lighten your load.

What Percentage of Adults Recover from Childhood Trauma?

Hearteningly, 60-80% achieve significant recovery with trauma-informed therapy, regaining trust and vitality. Without? Only 20-30% naturally process it, as unhealed trauma doubles risks for anxiety or relational rifts. Longitudinal studies show EMDR or somatic therapy yields 70% symptom reduction lasting 2+ years.

Why Childhood Trauma Lingers (And Feels Like a Shadow in Adulthood)

Trauma rewires the brain’s alarm system, turning safety into scarcity. Genetic and environmental factors (abusive homes, chronic stress) create vulnerability, with 40-50% heritability in responses. For clients post-fires or breakups, it resurfaces as dissociation or hypervigilance, echoing that young self’s survival mode.

Childhood Trauma Recovery Timeline: How Long Does It Take?

Timelines vary by chronicity: Acute (single events) heals in months, but ongoing abuse? 1-3 years with therapy. Expect 3-6 months for safety, 6-18 for processing, and 1-3 years for integration. A pilot study of trauma therapy found 65% “life-changing” relief by year 1.

Factors That Shape Your Trauma Healing Timeline

The speed at which a person heals from childhood trauma depends on:

Trauma Type: Physical/emotional (faster, 1-2 years) vs. complex (2-3+ years).
Support Network: Strong ties cut time by 30%; isolation extends it.
Therapy Modality: Somatic/EMDR therapy accelerates by 40% over talk-alone.
Co-Occurring Issues: ADHD or anxiety (common in requests) adds 6 months but responds well to integrated care.

What Are the Stages of Healing from Childhood Trauma?

Let’s outline five core stages of therapy for childhood trauma. These stages are a broad overview of what to expect, based on our experience taking clients through EMDR, Somatic, and psychoanalytic therapy.

Safety & Stabilization (Months 1-3): Establish resources and a therapeutic alliance to feel secure.
Awareness & Assessment (Months 3-6): Identify and acknowledge trauma targets through gentle exploration.
Processing & Discharge (Months 6-12): Access and express trauma via bilateral stimulation or titration.
Integration & Reconnection (Months 12-18): Build new internal resources for coping, regulating, and expressing emotions in a healthy way.
Reevaluation & Maintenance (Months 18+): Build lifelong tools that promote connection and agency throughout life.

These stages often overlap or cycle, but clients frequently describe a profound shift, like one who said, “Processing unlocked the freeze in my chest—now I breathe freer than I have in years.”

Stage	Focus	Typical Duration	Key Practice
Safety	Build security and resources	1-3 months	Grounding and alliance-building
Awareness	Acknowledge wounds	3-6 months	Sensation tracking and memory mapping
Processing	Release held energy	6-12 months	EMDR sets or titration exercises
Integration	Rewire beliefs and reconnect	12-18 months	Positive cognition installation and narrative shifts
Reevaluation	Sustain growth	18+ months	Progress reviews and self-care rituals

Therapy for Childhood Trauma vs. No Therapy

Solo efforts help short-term, but therapy triples recovery odds, halving timelines. Without? Symptoms fester, raising relapse to 70%. Somatic therapy, ideal for your fire survivors, targets body-stored pain for 80% faster relief.

Approach	Recovery Rate	Timeline	Symptom Reduction
No Therapy (Self-Help)	20-30%	3+ years (variable)	20-40%
With Therapy	60-80%	1-3 years	60-70%

Frequently Asked Questions About Healing Childhood Trauma

Can childhood trauma cause PTSD in adults?

Yes, childhood trauma significantly increases the risk of developing PTSD later in life, as it alters brain responses to stress and safety. Therapy like EMDR can help reprocess these early experiences to reduce PTSD symptoms effectively.

How do I know if I have unresolved childhood trauma?

Signs include chronic anxiety, relationship difficulties, or unexplained emotional triggers that echo past events. Reflecting on questions like “Was your home a safe place?” can help identify patterns worth exploring in therapy.

Does childhood trauma ever go away?

Childhood trauma doesn’t fully disappear but can be integrated and managed, allowing you to live without its constant shadow. With consistent therapy, most people report reduced impact and greater emotional freedom over time.

What are the signs of childhood trauma in adults?

Common indicators are low self-esteem, hypervigilance, or avoidance in relationships, often stemming from early instability. Recognizing these early paves the way for healing through targeted interventions like somatic therapy.

How long does it take to heal from childhood trauma?

Healing timelines vary from months for acute cases to 1-3 years for complex trauma with therapy support. Factors like support networks and therapy type play key roles in accelerating progress.

Is Trauma Therapy Right for Your Childhood Wounds?

If echoes disrupt your peace, therapy transforms shadows into strength. Approaches like somatic or EMDR can help, turning survival into thriving.

Healing starts with one brave step. Schedule a free consultation with one of our therapists that specialize in childhood trauma work.

Our Pasadena Therapists

Trauma Therapists

View All Therapists

Pre-adoption psychological evaluation services in California

Parenting, Testing and Assessment

Requirements to Adopt a Child

Written by Jamen

Adoption is one of the most meaningful decisions a family can make. It’s a process that blends legal requirements, agency procedures, and emotional preparation. While the legal rules vary by state, the emotional journey is universal: opening your home to a child who needs safety, care, and belonging.

At Here Counseling, we specialize in supporting prospective adoptive parents through California pre-adoption psychological assessments. These evaluations are a key requirement for many domestic and international adoptions, helping to ensure emotional readiness and family stability. We believe that preparing for adoption goes beyond paperwork—it’s about creating a nurturing environment where parents and children can grow together. Learn more about our services here.

What is a Pre-Adoption Psychological Evaluation?

A pre-adoption psychological evaluation is a structured assessment conducted by licensed psychologists to evaluate prospective parents’ emotional health, personality traits, mental stability, and parenting capacity. It’s often required by adoption agencies or international countries to confirm that families are prepared to provide a supportive home. At Here Counseling, our evaluations are comprehensive, supportive, and tailored to meet specific agency or country standards, focusing on strengths, potential concerns, and personalized recommendations for success.

This process isn’t about judgment—it’s a collaborative opportunity for self-reflection and growth. We address past challenges, current coping strategies, and future family visions to help you build a strong foundation for adoption.

General Requirements to Adopt a Child, Including Psychological Evaluations

Every adoption in the U.S. follows a legal framework designed to protect the best interests of the child. While details vary by state, most adoptive parents must demonstrate the following, often verified through evaluations like ours:

Age: Most states require adoptive parents to be at least 21 years old. Some raise this to 25, while others focus on being a certain number of years older than the child. Health and energy levels are assessed, which our psychological evaluations help document.
Marital Status: Adoption is open to single individuals, divorced parents, married couples, and LGBTQ+ families. Our evaluations emphasize home stability over marital status.
Residency & Citizenship: Prospective parents must typically be U.S. citizens or lawful permanent residents, with some states requiring residency for at least six months.
Criminal Background Checks: Fingerprinting and checks are standard; serious convictions related to violence or abuse can be barriers.
Financial Stability: Proof of stable income and housing is needed—not wealth, but the ability to meet a child’s needs.
Health and Psychological Readiness: Medical records are reviewed, and psychological evaluations like those we provide at Here Counseling are often mandatory. These assess mental health, personality, and parenting readiness to ensure long-term family well-being.

For California adoptions, there’s no maximum age limit, and evaluations play a crucial role in highlighting maturity and emotional preparedness. Explore our California-specific pre-adoption psychological assessment services here.

The Home Study: How Psychological Evaluations Fit In

The home study is a core part of the adoption process, involving interviews, home visits, and document reviews by a licensed social worker. It’s designed to confirm a safe, child-friendly environment.

Psychological evaluations complement the home study by providing deeper insights into emotional and relational dynamics. At Here Counseling, we often work with families during this phase, offering a safe space to process anxiety or self-doubt. Our evaluations include standardized tests like the MMPI-3 to evaluate personality and functioning, ensuring your report supports a smooth home study approval.

State-by-State Differences, with a Focus on California

Adoption laws vary, but psychological evaluations are increasingly common across states:

California: Emphasizes health, maturity, and inclusivity for all family types. Our evaluations are tailored for California residents, meeting both domestic and international requirements with virtual or in-person options in Pasadena or Los Angeles.
Texas: Requires parents to be at least 21, with training; evaluations help demonstrate readiness.
New York: Minimum age of 18; background checks and evaluations ensure suitability.

For foster-to-adopt paths, additional trauma-informed training may be needed, which our reports can inform.

Emotional Readiness: Why Psychological Evaluations Matter

While legal requirements ensure physical safety, emotional readiness is key to successful adoptions. Common challenges include attachment issues, grief, identity questions, and blending families. Our pre-adoption psychological evaluations at Here Counseling address these by:

Exploring motivations, personal history, and parenting styles.
Identifying strengths and areas for growth, like managing past mental health issues.
Providing recommendations for counseling, classes, or resources to enhance family bonds.

This overlooked “requirement” helps prevent future struggles and fosters lasting connections.

Types of Adoption and Evaluation Requirements

Different adoption paths have unique needs, but psychological evaluations are often essential:

Domestic Infant Adoption: Managed by agencies; evaluations confirm emotional stability amid wait times and birth-parent agreements.
Foster Care Adoption: Requires trauma-informed insights; our assessments support training and subsidies.
International Adoption: Involves Hague Convention compliance and country-specific rules; we tailor evaluations to meet immigration and cultural standards.

Our Adoption Psychological Evaluation Services

How Here Counseling Provides Pre-Adoption Psychological Evaluations

At Here Counseling, our licensed psychologists, led by experts in adoption assessments, offer a hassle-free, empathetic process to support your journey. Available virtually statewide or in-person in Pasadena/Los Angeles, our evaluations ensure compliance while promoting family growth.

The Three-Step Process

Initial Interview (2 Hours): A conversational session to discuss your history, motivations, and family vision. We select tests based on your needs and provide a clear timeline.
Psychological Testing (3 Hours): Confidential, standardized assessments like the MMPI-3. No prep needed—just honesty for accurate results.
Feedback & Report: A detailed report delivered within 4 weeks, with a follow-up session to review findings and recommendations.

We schedule your first appointment within a week, with no waitlists. The cost is $2500 per couple/family, split into two payments, and includes everything from consultation to final report.

Benefits include timely turnaround, insightful feedback on dynamics, and a supportive approach that views challenges as opportunities. Get started with a free consultation here.

Final Thoughts

Pre-adoption psychological evaluations are more than a checkbox—they’re a vital step in preparing for a thriving family. By addressing emotional readiness alongside legal requirements, families can build secure, loving bonds. At Here Counseling, we’re here to guide California families through this process with expertise and compassion, turning adoption into a foundation for lifelong connection.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is a pre-adoption psychological evaluation?
It’s an assessment of emotional health, personality, and parenting readiness required for many adoptions. Our service provides a comprehensive report to support your application.

Who needs a pre-adoption psychological evaluation?
Prospective parents pursuing domestic or international adoptions, especially in California, where agencies often mandate it.

How long does the evaluation take?
From initial interview to final report, about 4 weeks. We schedule quickly, within a week of your inquiry.

What if I have a history of mental health issues?
It doesn’t automatically disqualify you. We focus on current stability and provide recommendations for support.

How much does it cost?
$2500 per couple/family, with flexible payment options. Insurance typically doesn’t cover it, but we offer competitive pricing.

Can the evaluation be done virtually?
Yes, for California residents. In-person or hybrid options are available in Pasadena/Los Angeles if required.

How do I get started?
Schedule a free consultation via our pre-adoption psychological assessment page. Prepare by gathering agency requirements and reflecting on your family goals.

Is counseling required after the evaluation?
Not always, but our reports may recommend it for ongoing support in attachment or trauma-informed parenting.

Our News

Understanding Trauma Triggers

What Is EMDR Therapy?

What Is Somatic Experiencing?

EMDR vs Somatic Experiencing: How They Differ

Which Works Faster for Trauma Triggers?

The Science Behind EMDR and Somatic Experiencing

Choosing Between EMDR and Somatic Experiencing

Can EMDR and Somatic Experiencing Be Combined?

The Role of the Therapist

When to Seek Help for Trauma Trigger

How We Help at Here Counseling

Frequently Asked Questions

Begin Healing With Trauma Therapy in Pasadena

Traditional Views of Addiction Fall Short

Common Medicalized Explanations for Addiction

Shame Drives Addiction in Self-Psychology

Close Relationships Build a Healthy Self

Examples of Selfobjects in Self-Psychology

Mirroring Selfobjects

Idealizing Selfobjects

Twinship (Alter-Ego) Selfobjects

Without Close Relationships, Shame Grows

Addiction Follows Early Shame

Parallels Between Childhood Shame and Adult Addiction

Healing Involves Awareness and Relational Fulfillment

Treatment Goals in Self-Psychology

Inner Goals: Rebuilding Your Sense of Self

Behavioral Goals: Changing Habits Step by Step

Relational Goals: Connecting Without Fear

What Healing Looks Like

Timeline of Expected Changes

Initial Treatment: Building Foundations

Longer-Term Changes: Deeper Transformation

Overcome Addiction in Pasadena and Los Angeles

Reach out today for a free consultation with one of our therapists.

Frequently Asked Questions About Addiction and Shame

What Role Does Psychoanalysis Play in Understanding Addiction?

Why Do Some People Develop Addiction While Others Don’t?

How Can I Overcome the Shame Associated with Addiction?

Is Self-Psychology Effective for All Types of Addiction?

How to Approach These Questions

Questions About the Past & Childhood (1–15)

Questions About Beliefs & Inner Narratives (16–30)

Questions About Emotions & Inner Life (31–45)

Questions About Identity & Self-Concept (46–60)

Questions About Relationships & Connection (61–75)

6. Questions About Work, Stress & Purpose (76–85)

7. Questions About Growth, Future & Healing (86–100)

Why These Questions Matter

FAQs

Final Note

What Is Trauma Dumping?

Why Trauma Dumping Happens

The Impact on Relationships

Recognizing the Signs

How to Share Without Trauma Dumping

Responding Thoughtfully as a Listener

The Role of Therapy

FAQs

Final Thoughts

When Self-Blame Keeps You In Burnout

What Is Shame?

How Shame is Connected to Burnout

Why Shame Shows Up

How Shame Lives in the Body

Where Does Shame Come From?

3 Common Patterns of Shame

1. Self-Criticism & Overthinking

2. Avoidance & Disconnection

3. People-Pleasing & Compliance

Three Steps to Healing Through Somatic Awareness

1. Notice the Body’s Signals of Shame.

2. Soften and Create Space in the Body.

3. Nurture with Compassionate Touch or Movement.

Move From Shame Toward Compassion

Schedule a Free Consultation for Trauma Therapy in Pasadena

Julia Wilson, MA

How Much Does It Cost to Adopt a Child in California?

What’s Included in California Adoption Costs?