Anxiety, Neurology, Podcast, Somatic Exercises

[VIDEO] Understanding Your Body’s Signals: A Neurologic Physical Therapist’s Insights on Pain, Healing, and Hope

Written by herecounseling

Living with unexplained dizziness, tremors, or weakness can feel like a daily battle. You might wake up dreading the moment you turn your head, fearing that spinning sensation will return. Or perhaps your hands shake when you reach for a cup, and you wonder if it’s all in your head—or if something’s seriously wrong. These symptoms can make you feel trapped, isolated, and desperate for answers.

At Casa Colina Hospital in Pomona, neurologic physical therapist Dan Humphrey works with people just like you, helping them navigate neurologic and somatic symptoms to reclaim their lives. In a recent podcast, Dan shared profound insights about how our bodies process pain, the power of neuroplasticity, and the surprising connection between mind and body. Here are the key lessons to help you understand your symptoms and find a path forward.

Your Body Is Speaking—Are You Listening?

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Lesson 1: Your Brain Can Rewire Itself to Heal

If you’re struggling with symptoms like dizziness or weakness after a stroke, brain injury, or even stress, it’s easy to feel like your body is broken. But Dan emphasizes the incredible power of neuroplasticity—your brain’s ability to adapt and rewire itself. “We’re really relying on the neuroplasticity of the brain, the ability of the brain to change,” Dan explains. This means that even if part of your brain is damaged, nearby areas can step in to help, like borrowing strength from a neighboring bridge strut when one is weakened.

What This Means for You: Your symptoms don’t have to define you forever. Through targeted exercises and strategies, a neurologic physical therapist can guide your brain to form new pathways. For example, if you’ve lost strength in one hand after a stroke, practicing tasks like writing with that hand—even when it feels exhausting—can retrain your brain. Ask yourself: What small, meaningful task (like holding a pen or walking to the mailbox) could you practice to start this rewiring process?

Lesson 2: Pain and Symptoms Often Have Emotional Roots

You might feel your symptoms physically—shaking, dizziness, or numbness—but Dan’s work reveals that these can stem from emotional or psychological stress, especially in conditions like functional neurologic disorder (FND). He describes a patient who felt unsteady months after an ear infection cleared, driven by fear that moving her head would trigger vertigo again. “This was fear avoidant behavior,” Dan notes, treated through gradual exposure to movement, like picking up objects from the floor. This isn’t “all in your head” in a dismissive way—your brain’s fear response is amplifying real physical sensations.

What This Means for You: If you avoid activities like bending over or going outside because you’re scared of triggering symptoms, your brain might be stuck in a protective mode. This doesn’t mean your pain isn’t real; it means your nervous system is on high alert. Working with a therapist trained in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) or habituation techniques can help you safely face these triggers. Try this: Next time you feel a symptom flare, pause and ask, “Am I feeling anxious or unsafe?” Naming the emotion can be a first step to calming your body’s response.

Lesson 3: Meaningful Goals Make Healing Possible

Rehabilitation can feel grueling, especially when symptoms make everyday tasks daunting. Dan stresses that healing happens when you have a reason to push through. He worked with a patient with a spinal cord injury who loved fishing, so therapy focused on getting him back on a boat—not fixing his injury entirely, but enabling what mattered most. “How can we still get you doing the things that you care about?” Dan asks. This salience, or personal importance, drives your brain to adapt.

What This Means for You: Think about what you miss most—writing a note to a loved one, playing with your kids, or even gardening. These goals give your brain a “why” to rewire itself. Share these with your therapist so they can tailor exercises to what lights you up. For instance, if you want to write birthday cards again, practicing hand movements with that goal in mind can feel less like a chore and more like a step toward joy. What’s one activity you’d love to reclaim, and how could you start practicing it today?

Lesson 4: Your Mind and Body Are Inseparable

You might feel frustrated when doctors can’t find a clear cause for your symptoms on a scan, or worse, suggest it’s “psychological.” Dan challenges this outdated separation of mind and body, rooted in historical ideas from philosophers like Plato. Modern science shows “very real interactions between the mind and body that require treatment in both senses,” he says. For example, a woman with tremors had no physical cause on tests, but her symptoms eased when Dan helped her face feared movements in a safe space, reducing her brain’s stress response.

What This Means for You: Your symptoms might feel purely physical, but stress, trauma, or anxiety can amplify them. This isn’t your fault—it’s how your brain prioritizes threats. A holistic approach, combining physical therapy with mental health support, can address both sides. If you’re told “it’s all in your head,” seek providers who validate your experience and offer tools like graded exposure or mindfulness. Reflect: Could talking to a counselor about stress or past trauma complement your physical therapy?

Lesson 5: You Have the Power to Take Charge

It’s easy to feel helpless when symptoms persist, especially if you’ve tried treatments that didn’t work. Dan believes in self-efficacy—empowering you to drive your own recovery. He tells patients, “I didn’t do anything. I just bossed you around!” to emphasize their role in their success. For one patient, suggesting she find her own path outside his care sparked a shift toward ownership. “The work’s been done… This for the rest is up to you,” Dan says.

What This Means for You: You’re not just a passenger in your healing journey. Small choices—like doing prescribed exercises, asking questions about your treatment, or exploring new therapies—build confidence. If a provider’s approach isn’t clicking, it’s okay to seek someone who resonates with you. A strong therapeutic alliance, where you feel heard and supported, can make all the difference. Try this: Write down one question to ask your doctor or therapist at your next visit to feel more in control.

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A Path Forward for Your Healing

Your symptoms—whether dizziness, tremors, or unexplained pain—are real, and they’re your body’s way of signaling that it needs help. As Dan Humphrey’s work shows, healing isn’t just about fixing a broken part; it’s about teaching your brain new ways to move, calming its fear responses, and reconnecting with what makes life meaningful. Your brain is adaptable, your emotions are valid, and you have the strength to take charge.

If you’re ready to explore these ideas, consider reaching out to a neurologic physical therapist or a mental health professional who understands the mind-body connection. At Casa Colina, experts like Dan are dedicated to helping you rebuild independence, one meaningful step at a time. What’s the first step you’ll take today to listen to your body and start healing?

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Podcast, Somatic Exercises

[VIDEO] How to Heal Anger with Somatic Therapy

Written by herecounseling

For many, emotions like anger or anxiety feel like storms to be avoided, suppressed, or controlled. Yet, in somatic therapy, these waves are not threats but messengers, carrying vital signals from the body.

This article, inspired by a conversation with somatic therapist Arianne MacBean, LMFT, explores how somatic therapy can help those who fear facing emotions like anger or anxiety. We’ll debunk common misconceptions, offer a framework for approaching these feelings through somatic awareness, and provide practical insights for navigating this transformative process.

The Fear of Feeling: Why Emotions Feel Dangerous

For many, emotions like anger or anxiety are not just uncomfortable—they feel like wildfires threatening to consume. Arianne, a somatic therapist with a background in dance, describes clients who enter therapy desperate to “make the feeling go away.” They seek a quick fix, an exercise to extinguish the panic attack or silence the rage. This urgency stems from a deep-seated belief that these emotions are dangerous, chaotic forces that must be controlled to maintain safety or social acceptance.

This fear often has roots in early experiences. Arianne explains that many clients learned as children that expressing strong emotions crossed invisible boundaries, leading to punishment or disconnection from caregivers. Over time, they internalized the idea that to be “good” means to flatline emotionally, suppressing anger or anxiety to avoid conflict or rejection. Society reinforces this, rewarding emotional restraint as a hallmark of success or maturity. Yet, this suppression comes at a cost: the emotions don’t vanish; they fester, manifesting as numbness, addiction, or explosive outbursts that reinforce the belief that feelings are bad.

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Common Misconceptions About Emotions in Somatic Therapy

Somatic therapy, which emphasizes the body’s role in processing emotions, often challenges these ingrained beliefs. However, misconceptions can make clients hesitant to engage. Here are three common myths Arianne encounters:

Emotions Must Be Controlled or Erased:

Many clients believe therapy should provide a switch to turn off unwanted feelings. They view anger or anxiety as external invaders, not internal signals. Arianne counters this by suggesting that these emotions are not problems to solve but messages to listen to, offering clues about unmet needs or unresolved pain.

Feeling Emotions Means Getting Stuck in Pain:

Clients fear that exploring anger or anxiety will trap them in a cycle of suffering. Arianne acknowledges this concern but emphasizes that somatic therapy is about being with the emotion, not drowning in it. By observing sensations neutrally, clients can move through the wave rather than being overwhelmed by it.

Emotional Health Means Being Calm All the Time:

Some clients equate mental health with a flat, unbothered state, mistaking emotional suppression for stability. Arianne debunks this, noting that emotional health involves dynamic waves of feeling—cortisol spikes, relief, frustration, joy—that give life rhythm and purpose.

A Somatic Framework: Riding the Wave of Emotion

Somatic therapy invites clients to shift their relationship with emotions, viewing them as bodily sensations rather than enemies. Arianne’s approach, informed by her dance background, likens this process to a dance with the body’s signals. Here’s a framework for approaching anger or anxiety through somatic awareness:

1. Observe, Don’t Oppose

When anxiety surges or anger flares, the instinct is to fight or flee. Arianne encourages clients to adopt a neutral, observational stance instead. Imagine standing on the shore, watching the wave approach without trying to push it back. In therapy, this might mean noticing where anger lives in the body—perhaps a clenched jaw or tight chest—and simply naming the sensation. This act of observing reduces the tug-of-war between chaos and control, allowing the emotion to exist without overwhelming.

2. Trust the Body’s Wisdom

The body, Arianne explains, is always communicating, even when we numb its signals. Anger might erupt to demand attention, while anxiety might signal a need for safety. Somatic therapy trusts that these sensations are not random but purposeful, rooted in the “pure self” present from birth. By tuning into subtle cues—heat in the hands, a hollow stomach—clients reconnect with this innate wisdom, uncovering insights about their needs or unresolved experiences.

3. Move Through, Not Away

Suppression is like holding a beach ball underwater; it takes immense energy and eventually bursts free. Arianne advocates moving through emotions by embodying them safely. For example, her interactive journal prompts clients to throw the book against a wall to express anger physically, honoring its purpose without letting it fester. This movement—whether through breath, gesture, or writing—helps emotions flow, preventing the numbness or explosions that come from suppression.

4. Grow the Container

Arianne references Daniel Siegel’s metaphor of a cup to explain how somatic therapy builds emotional capacity. If two tablespoons of salt (pain) are in a small espresso cup of water (your capacity), the taste is overwhelming. Somatic therapy grows the container—your ability to hold pain—into a bathtub, where the same salt is diluted and manageable. By mindfully engaging with sensations, clients expand their resilience, finding that anger or anxiety no longer consumes them.

Confronting the Fear: What to Expect in Somatic Therapy

For those fearful of facing emotions, somatic therapy can feel like stepping into a storm. Arianne acknowledges this courage, noting that clients often arrive feeling stuck or numb, unaware of the suppressed waves beneath. The process begins gently, with the therapist building trust by listening to the client’s story—about their day, their family—while subtly noting bodily cues. A clenched fist or shallow breath becomes an entry point, sparking curiosity: “What’s happening in your shoulder right now?”

As clients explore these sensations, they may encounter resistance, fearing that anger will make them “bad” or anxiety will spiral out of control. Arianne reassures them that these feelings are already present, part of the body’s natural rhythm. The goal is not to amplify pain but to acknowledge it, allowing it to shift. Over time, clients discover that anger points to unmet desires for connection, while anxiety signals a need for safety, guiding them toward change.

Somatic Therapy’s Promise: Rewilding the Self

Arianne describes somatic therapy as a return to the “wild,” a reclaiming of the vibrant, intuitive self suppressed by societal norms. This rewilding doesn’t mean unleashing chaos but rediscovering the body’s capacity to feel, adapt, and heal. Like a dancer finding the rhythm of a new piece, clients learn to move with their emotions, trusting that each wave carries them closer to their true self.

FAQ About Anger and Somatic Therapy

Q: Will somatic therapy make my anger worse?

A: While exploring anger can feel intense, somatic therapy is designed to help you move through feelings safely, not amplify them. A skilled therapist paces the process to prevent overwhelm.

Q: How long does it take to feel better?

A: Progress varies, but somatic therapy often creates shifts in the moment of observation. Consistent practice can lead to lasting changes over weeks or months.

Q: Do I need to be physically active for somatic therapy?

A: No, somatic therapy focuses on bodily awareness, which can involve subtle movements, breath, or simply noticing sensations, adaptable to all physical abilities.

Quick-Guide Summary: Facing Emotions with Somatic Therapy

  • Observe Neutrally: Notice bodily sensations like tightness or heat without trying to change them.
  • Trust Your Body: View emotions as signals guiding you toward needs or insights.
  • Move Through Feelings: Use safe expressions like writing or gentle movement to let emotions flow.
  • Build Capacity: Grow your ability to hold emotions without being overwhelmed, like expanding a container.
  • Embrace the Wild: Reconnect with your intuitive self, trusting that emotions are part of your vitality.

By approaching anger or anxiety as waves to ride rather than storms to flee, somatic therapy offers a path to emotional freedom, one sensation at a time.

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Anxiety, EMDR, Managing emotions, Podcast, Somatic Exercises

[VIDEO] How EMDR Therapy Works To Heal Generational Wounds

Written by herecounseling

Trauma has a way of embedding itself not just in our own lives but also in the stories and legacies passed down through generations. The idea of confronting this pain can feel overwhelming—our instinct is to avoid the discomfort, to stay within the safety of what we know. Yet, avoiding trauma doesn’t make it disappear; it allows it to linger, affecting us and those who come after us. EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) offers a structured, safe way to face these buried wounds with the support of a therapist, providing a path to personal healing and the chance to break the cycle of generational trauma.

In this article, we’ll explore why confronting trauma is so challenging, how EMDR helps us overcome that challenge, and the profound benefits it offers—not just for ourselves but for our larger family stories.

What is EMDR?

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing

EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, a therapy initially developed by Francine Shapiro in the 1980s. Shapiro stumbled upon its foundations by accident: while walking and feeling distressed, she noticed her eyes moving left to right and felt a sudden relief. This observation sparked decades of research, transforming EMDR into an evidence-based treatment, particularly effective for PTSD, but also valuable for anxiety, depression, and even sports performance.

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The EMDR Process: A Structured Path to Healing Trauma

EMDR is more than just eye movements—it’s a comprehensive therapy built on trust, preparation, and a clear protocol to process trauma safely.

Building Safety and Skills

The journey begins with one to three sessions focused on establishing a relationship with the therapist and equipping the client with coping tools. Dana Carretta-Stein, a licensed therapist and EMDR specialist, emphasizes this preparation: “My job is to make you uncomfortable because if we don’t feel something, we can’t heal it.” These initial steps ensure clients feel secure and ready to face their pain.

Processing with Bilateral Stimulation

The core of EMDR involves bilateral stimulation—such as following a light bar with the eyes, hearing alternating sounds, or feeling vibrations in the hands—while recalling traumatic memories. This dual attention helps the brain reprocess the experience, reducing its emotional charge. Clients might notice a rise in discomfort followed by a release, often marked by a sigh or a shift in posture, signaling healing in action.

“But I don’t want to deal with my trauma”

The Instinct to Avoid Discomfort

Confronting trauma is hard because it hurts. “A comfort zone is a beautiful thing, but nothing ever grows there,” Carretta-Stein notes. Our natural response is to push away pain, fearing it will overwhelm us. Many start therapy with hope but hesitate when subconscious barriers emerge, worried that facing the trauma will make things worse before they get better.

Yet Avoidance has a Hidden Cost

Avoidance offers temporary relief, but it perpetuates the problem. Unresolved trauma can manifest as anxiety, depression, or physical symptoms, and it doesn’t stop with us—it can ripple through generations. EMDR addresses this by providing a structured environment where discomfort is expected and managed, allowing clients to move through it rather than around it.

What is Generational Trauma?

The Legacy of Pain Passed Down

Generational trauma is the idea that trauma’s effects—emotional, behavioral, or even genetic—can be transmitted across family lines. Research suggests that experiences can alter gene expression, meaning the pain of a grandparent might echo in their descendants. Carretta-Stein shares a personal example: during her pregnancy, she experienced a visceral panic, later tracing it to a family history of grief and loss that spanned generations.

EMDR can be a Tool for Healing Generational Trauma

Facing Inherited Pain with Support

EMDR excels at addressing generational trauma by allowing individuals to process not just their own experiences but the emotional baggage handed down to them. With a therapist’s guidance, clients can confront these memories in a safe space, using bilateral stimulation to reprocess and release the pain. “When you work through stuff, you don’t just heal yourself, you heal past generations and future ones,” Carretta-Stein explains.

The Benefits of EMDR Therapy

Personal Relief and Resilience

EMDR brings tangible relief: reduced symptoms, deeper insights, and a sense of letting go. Clients often feel lighter, as if a burden has lifted. “People start to heal the moment they feel heard,” Carretta-Stein says, highlighting the power of being seen and understood in therapy.

Healing Trauma is a Gift to Family and Beyond

The impact extends beyond the individual. By confronting and overcoming trauma, we prevent it from being passed on, fostering healthier relationships and communities. This dual benefit—personal healing and a transformed legacy—makes EMDR a powerful tool for those willing to face the discomfort.

Confronting trauma, especially one woven into your family’s history, takes courage. The discomfort is real, but so is the potential for transformation. EMDR provides a structured, relational approach to make this possible, ensuring you’re not alone on the journey. If you’re ready to explore this path, consider reaching out to a trained therapist. For more insight, Carretta-Stein’s EMDR Therapy Progress Journal, available on Amazon or DanaCorretta.com, offers a helpful starting point.

Trauma isolates us, but healing reconnects us—to ourselves, our past, and our future. With EMDR, you can turn pain into possibility, for you and the generations that follow.

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Anxiety, EMDR, Managing emotions, Podcast, Somatic Exercises

[VIDEO] Why Trauma Effects Some People and Not Others: How to Give Yourself The Best Chance at Recovery with Trauma Therapy

Written by herecounseling

What is trauma and how is it different from PTSD?

Trauma is a deeply distressing experience that can leave lasting scars on the mind and body. It’s like a storm that upends your world, leaving you to pick up the pieces. For many, the aftermath of trauma is a daily battle, filled with emotional turbulence, physical exhaustion, and a sense of disconnection from the life they once knew. If you’ve ever wondered, what is trauma and how is it different from PTSD?, you’re not alone. Understanding the distinction is key to recognizing when to seek help and how to begin the healing process.

In this article, we’ll explore the nature of trauma, its most common symptoms, and how it impacts daily life. We’ll use an analogy of a dam overflowing with water to explain how trauma occurs and why some people develop PTSD while others do not. We’ll also delve into the research-backed differences between those who engage in trauma therapy and those who do not, highlighting the importance of social support in recovery. For those seeking trauma therapy in Pasadena or elsewhere, this guide will provide valuable insights into the healing journey.

  1. What is trauma?
  2. What are the common symptoms of trauma?
  3. How trauma is like a dam
  4. The impact of trauma therapy
  5. Trauma therapy options

What Does Trauma Feel Like? Common Symptoms and Their Impact

Trauma can manifest in a variety of ways, often leaving survivors feeling like they’re navigating a minefield of emotional and physical triggers. The symptoms can be overwhelming, but understanding them is the first step toward reclaiming control. Here are some of the most common symptoms of trauma and how they impact a person’s life:

1. Flashbacks

These are vivid, involuntary memories of the traumatic event. A flashback can feel like you’re reliving the moment, causing intense fear or panic. For example, a veteran might hear a car backfire and suddenly feel as though they’re back on the battlefield. This can disrupt daily routines, making it hard to focus on work or enjoy time with loved ones.

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2. Nightmares

Trauma often invades sleep, leading to recurring nightmares that disrupt rest and heighten anxiety. This can result in chronic fatigue and a sense of dread around bedtime, leaving survivors exhausted and less equipped to handle daily challenges.

3. Anxiety and Hypervigilance

Survivors may feel constantly on edge, scanning their environment for potential threats. This state of hyperarousal can make it difficult to relax, concentrate, or engage in everyday activities like socializing or driving, turning ordinary moments into sources of stress.

4. Depression

Trauma can lead to feelings of hopelessness, guilt, or numbness. Survivors might withdraw from social interactions, lose interest in hobbies, or struggle with a pervasive sense of sadness, which can strain relationships and diminish their quality of life.

5. Avoidance

Many trauma survivors avoid places, people, or situations that remind them of the event. While this can provide temporary relief, it often limits their ability to live fully—perhaps avoiding a favorite park or skipping family gatherings—leading to isolation and missed opportunities.

6. Physical Symptoms

Trauma doesn’t just affect the mind—it can also cause headaches, muscle tension, gastrointestinal issues, and a weakened immune system. These physical manifestations can make it harder to stay healthy or perform at work, adding another layer of struggle. This is because emotions like chronic anxiety are directly tied to our bodily state. When we hold that state (such as high muscle tension associated with anxiety) it changes the long-term structure of our bodies.

Each of these symptoms can make daily life feel like an uphill battle. Simple tasks, like going to work or socializing, may become daunting. Relationships can suffer as survivors struggle to connect with others while managing their internal turmoil. Over time, the weight of these symptoms can feel unbearable. Many people who have experienced any of these symptoms rightly wonder why their bodies respond this way and if it will ever change.

Trauma therapy allostatic load PTSD

The Overflowing Dam: Defining Trauma

Why do some people experience trauma and not others, even following the same painful experience? To better understand how trauma happens, imagine a dam holding back a reservoir of water. The dam represents your coping mechanisms, social support, and emotional security—everything that helps you manage stress and return to a state of safety. The water symbolizes the stressors in your life, whether they’re everyday challenges or major life events.

Under normal circumstances, the dam holds strong. The water (stress) flows in, but your coping strategies and support systems contain it, preventing it from overwhelming you. However, when a stressor is too intense or prolonged—such as a traumatic event—the water surges, and the dam can no longer hold it back. The water spills over, flooding the surrounding area. This overflow is what we call trauma.

This concept is called allostatic load, which refers to the cumulative wear and tear on the body and mind when stress exceeds our ability to cope.

Then why do some have a trauma response and others don’t?

When the load becomes too great, our systems are overwhelmed, leading to trauma. Trauma, then, is not just about the event itself but about how it overwhelms our capacity to process and integrate the experience. It’s the point at which our emotional and psychological defenses are breached, leaving us feeling helpless, vulnerable, and unsafe.

In this way, trauma has to do with both the amount of “water” and the capacity of the “dam”. When a person has adequate coping skills, social supports, and emotional security (a large dam), they may recover well even from a highly stressful situation (heavy rainfall). When a person is unsupported, however, even the smallest amount of rain will be overwhelming. How a person experiences a traumatic event has to do with both the strength of internal resources and the strength of the stressor.

Trauma vs. PTSD: Key Differences

While trauma refers to the overwhelming experience and its immediate aftermath, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is a specific mental health condition that can develop in some individuals after trauma. Not everyone who experiences trauma will develop PTSD, but for those who do, the symptoms are more persistent and debilitating.

PTSD is characterized by four main clusters of symptoms:

  • Intrusive memories: Flashbacks, nightmares, or distressing thoughts about the trauma that invade daily life.
  • Avoidance: Steering clear of reminders of the trauma, such as specific locations or conversations, which can shrink a person’s world.
  • Negative changes in mood and thinking: Feelings of hopelessness, detachment, or distorted beliefs about oneself or others that darken one’s outlook.
  • Hyperarousal: Being easily startled, feeling tense, or having difficulty sleeping, keeping the body and mind in a constant state of alert.

Using our dam analogy, if trauma is the moment the dam overflows, PTSD is like the floodwaters that never fully recede. The emotional and psychological impact lingers, and the person remains in a state of heightened distress, unable to return to their pre-trauma baseline. PTSD is a clinical diagnosis, requiring a specific set of symptoms lasting for more than a month, whereas trauma encompasses the broader initial response to an overwhelming event, whether or not it leads to PTSD.

Social Support Makes the Difference in Post-Trauma Recovery

Research consistently shows that social support plays a critical role in whether someone develops PTSD after trauma and how well they recover. Strong social networks can act as a buffer, helping individuals process their experiences and regain a sense of safety. Think of social support as reinforcements for the dam—friends, family, and community members who help shore up your emotional defenses.

Studies have found that:

  • Individuals with high levels of social support are less likely to develop PTSD and tend to recover more quickly. For example, a study in the Journal of Traumatic Stress showed that survivors of natural disasters with strong community ties had lower PTSD rates.
  • Conversely, a lack of support can worsen symptoms and prolong recovery, leaving survivors feeling isolated and more vulnerable to the lingering effects of trauma.

This highlights the importance of leaning on trusted loved ones during the healing process. Social support provides emotional validation, practical help, and a sense of belonging—all essential for rebuilding after the dam has been breached.

Trauma Therapy: Research-Backed Benefits

While social support is vital, many trauma survivors benefit from professional intervention, particularly trauma therapy. Evidence-based treatments like Somatic therapy and Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) have been shown to help survivors process their experiences, reduce symptoms, and regain control over their lives.

Research highlights clear differences between those who participate in trauma therapy and those who do not:

  • Symptom Reduction: Therapy participants often see a significant decrease in PTSD symptoms, such as flashbacks and anxiety, allowing them to reclaim parts of their lives lost to trauma.
  • Improved Coping Skills: Therapy provides tools to manage triggers and rebuild emotional resilience, empowering survivors to face challenges with greater confidence.
  • Enhanced Quality of Life: Those who engage in therapy report better relationships, improved work performance, and a greater sense of well-being compared to those who don’t seek help.

A meta-analysis in Clinical Psychology Review found that trauma-focused therapies like Somatic Therapy and EMDR are highly effective. Many participants no longer meeting PTSD criteria after treatment. For those in Pasadena or nearby, seeking trauma therapy in Pasadena can be a crucial step toward healing.

Option 1: Somatic Therapy for Trauma: Healing Through the Body

What is Somatic Therapy?

Somatic therapy is built on the principle that trauma doesn’t just affect the mind—it also gets stored in the body. This approach recognizes the deep connection between physical sensations and emotional experiences, suggesting that unresolved trauma can manifest as tension, pain, or other bodily symptoms. By focusing on these physical cues, somatic therapy aims to help individuals process and release trapped traumatic energy, fostering a sense of safety and wholeness.

Research-Backed Benefits of Somatic Therapy

Studies have demonstrated the effectiveness of somatic therapy for trauma recovery. For instance, research by Levine (2010) on somatic experiencing therapy found it significantly reduced PTSD symptoms in participants. A meta-analysis by van der Kolk et al. (2014) showed that body-oriented therapies can alleviate trauma-related distress, particularly for those who find traditional talk therapy challenging. These findings highlight somatic therapy’s ability to address both the emotional and physical aftermath of trauma.

What to Expect in Somatic Sessions

In a somatic therapy session, you’ll work with a trained therapist to tune into your body’s signals. You might start with a body scan, where you focus on different areas of your body to notice sensations like tightness or discomfort. The therapist may guide you through gentle movements or breathing exercises to release stored tension. Mindfulness practices are also common, helping you stay present and regulate your nervous system. The pace is gentle and tailored to your comfort, with the goal of rebuilding trust in your body’s natural responses.

Option 2: EMDR Therapy for Trauma: Reprocessing Painful Memories

What is EMDR Therapy?

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is a structured psychotherapy designed to help people process traumatic memories that feel “stuck.” Developed by Francine Shapiro in the late 1980s, EMDR uses bilateral stimulation—like guided eye movements or alternating taps—to activate the brain’s ability to reprocess distressing memories. This stimulation mimics the brain’s natural healing during REM sleep, reducing the emotional intensity of the trauma over time.

Research-Backed Benefits of EMDR Therapy

EMDR is widely recognized as an effective trauma treatment, backed by robust research. The American Psychological Association endorses it as a top choice for PTSD, and a meta-analysis by Bisson et al. (2013) found it matches cognitive-behavioral therapy in reducing symptoms—sometimes working faster. Studies suggest EMDR can lessen the grip of flashbacks and anxiety, offering relief in fewer sessions for some, making it a powerful option for trauma survivors.

What to Expect in EMDR Sessions

An EMDR session typically lasts 60-90 minutes and follows a clear structure. You’ll begin by identifying a specific traumatic memory and the negative beliefs tied to it (e.g., “I’m powerless”). Then, while holding that memory in mind, you’ll engage in bilateral stimulation—perhaps following your therapist’s finger with your eyes or listening to alternating tones. This process repeats in short sets until the memory feels less overwhelming. Your therapist will check in regularly, ensuring you feel supported. Over multiple sessions, EMDR aims to transform how you experience that memory, easing its emotional weight.

Rebuilding After the Storm

Trauma is a profound and often life-altering experience, but it doesn’t have to define your future. By understanding the nature of trauma, recognizing its symptoms, and seeking the right support—whether through social networks or professional therapy—you can begin to rebuild your emotional dam and reclaim your life.

Healing is not a linear process, and it’s okay to ask for help along the way. Whether you’re grappling with the immediate aftermath of trauma or the long-term effects of PTSD, recovery is possible. With the right tools and support, you can weather the storm and emerge stronger on the other side.

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Neurology, Podcast, Somatic Exercises

[VIDEO] Pelvic Floor Issues? The Truth About How to Heal Trauma

Written by herecounseling

Pelvic floor therapy targets the muscles, ligaments, and connective tissues that support your pelvic organs—think bladder, bowels, and reproductive system. These structures play a starring role in everyday functions like urination, digestion, and even sexual health. Problems here can affect anyone, regardless of gender, and can throw a wrench into your quality of life. In a recent interview, Dr. Rachel Daof, a pelvic floor physical therapist at Pelvic Model Physical Therapy, sat down with Dr. Connor McClenahan to unpack this essential yet often overlooked topic.

What Pelvic Floor Therapy Can Do for You

Pelvic floor therapy tackles a surprising variety of issues that might be disrupting your daily routine. Dr. Daof sums it up with a memorable phrase: “We help with pee, poo, and pleasure.” Here’s a closer look at the common challenges it addresses:

  • Urinary Incontinence: Ever leak a little when you cough, sneeze, or hit the gym? That’s more common than you might think.
  • Bowel Dysfunction: Struggles like constipation or fecal incontinence can be tough to talk about, but they’re treatable.
  • Pelvic Pain: Discomfort in the genital, anal, or lower abdominal areas can stem from muscle tension or injury.
  • Sexual Health Challenges: Pain during intimacy, erectile dysfunction, or premature ejaculation can all tie back to pelvic floor issues.

These problems don’t discriminate—they can affect people of all ages and genders, often triggered by things like childbirth, trauma, or even prolonged stress. The good news? They’re not something you have to just live with.

Pelvic Floor Therapy is About Safety

At Pelvic Model Physical Therapy, the treatment process is all about creating safety. It starts with a conversation—a detailed chat about your symptoms and history. Dr. Daof stresses that consent is non-negotiable: “We make sure patients are comfortable with every step.” Depending on what you’re dealing with, the next phase might involve an internal exam to check how those pelvic muscles are functioning. Don’t worry—these are done with care and always with your boundaries in mind.

From there, the team crafts a plan tailored just for you, targeting any weaknesses or tightness in the pelvic floor. “We want them to feel safe in our environment, with our presence, and with the manual therapy,” Dr. Daof explains. That sense of safety isn’t just a bonus—it’s what’s actually required for the muscles and nervous system to elongate and heal.

Pelvic Guarding and Kegel Exercises

Dr. Daof uses a simple yet powerful analogy to illustrate why pelvic floor issues often go beyond a lack of strength: imagine trying to clench your fist tightly for hours on end. Eventually, the muscles tire out, becoming so fatigued that they can no longer contract effectively, even if you want them to. This is similar to what happens with an overly tight or hypertonic pelvic floor. When these muscles are chronically tense—whether from stress, poor posture, or overcompensation—they lose their ability to relax and then contract properly. It’s not a matter of weakness but rather a state of exhaustion or dysfunction.

This is why Kegel exercises, which focus on strengthening through repeated contractions, often fall short or even worsen the problem. For many, the pelvic floor doesn’t need more tension; it needs release, retraining, and balance to restore its natural function. This points to the need to relax, elongate and understand the chronic tension we carry.

Emotional History Impacts Pelvic Floor Muscles

Here’s where it gets interesting: your pelvic health isn’t just about muscles—it’s tied to your emotions, too. Dr. Daof points out that experiences like childhood shame or trauma can show up years later as physical issues. Imagine a kid taught to “hold it in” because of strict rules or embarrassment. Over time, that habit can turn into chronic muscle tension down below.

That’s why pelvic floor therapy often takes a holistic approach, sometimes teaming up with psychotherapists to tackle both the physical and emotional sides of healing. It’s not just about fixing a symptom—it’s about understanding the whole picture to get lasting results.

Create Safety and Healing

If any of this sounds familiar—whether it’s a little leak or a nagging pain—know that you’ve got options. Pelvic floor physical therapy can make a real difference, and there’s no reason to let embarrassment keep you from getting help. Dr. Daof and her team are here to guide you with expertise and compassion.

We believe emotional and physical healing are 2 sides of the same coin. The pain you experience creates an emotional stamp that’s felt by both your internal world of relationships and self, as well as your body’s muscular and nervous system. Whichever side of the tunnel you approach it – whether with a psychotherapist or with a pelvic floor therapist – we know the healing is worth reaching out.

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ADHD, Neurology, Podcast

[VIDEO] Shatter ADHD Myths: How to Use Brain Mapping to Unlock the Science of Attention

Written by herecounseling

Brain Mapping and Neurofeedback at Vital Brain Health

What’s Happening Under the Hood

The brain is more than just the seat of our thoughts—it’s a dynamic organ where hardware (neural structures) and software (thought patterns) interact. At Vital Brain Health, advanced tools like EEG-based brain mapping and neurofeedback allow clinicians to peek into this hardware, revealing how brain waves and regions influence behavior. Brain mapping involves placing a cap with sensors on the scalp to record electrical activity over 20 minutes—10 with eyes open, 10 with eyes closed—creating a “movie” of the brain at rest. This isn’t about static images like an MRI; it’s about function, showing how areas fire and connect in real time. Neurofeedback builds on this by training the brain to adjust those patterns, using visual feedback (like a Netflix show that distorts when waves go off-track) to encourage healthier rhythms.

Why It Matters

Understanding the brain’s wiring offers a new lens on struggles like focus, anxiety, or emotional regulation. Rather than seeing these as personal failings, they can be viewed as biological responses—sometimes to stress, sometimes to inherited tendencies. This approach doesn’t just label issues; it provides a roadmap for change, empowering individuals to work with their brain’s natural plasticity.

The Neurology Behind ADHD-Like Focus Issues

Beyond the Label: What’s Really Going On

ADHD is often diagnosed through behavioral checklists—16 questions about focus or impulsivity—but this surface-level approach misses the deeper story. Neurologically, attention relies on the prefrontal cortex, which handles planning, impulse control, and sequential thinking (e.g., “Do A, then B”). Under stress or trauma, blood flow shifts away from this region to the amygdala and limbic system, prioritizing survival over organization. This can manifest as fast brain waves in the prefrontal cortex slowing down, or the amygdala over-firing, keeping someone in a reactive, high-arousal state. For a child, this might look like outbursts or distraction; for an adult, it’s losing track of tasks. The catch? These symptoms mimic ADHD but may stem from entirely different causes—like a tough life transition or chronic anxiety.

State vs. Trait: How Focus Issues Evolve

A “state” is a temporary reaction—like struggling to focus during a stressful week—while a “trait” is a wired-in tendency, shaped by prolonged experience. When stress persists (think post-COVID isolation or a family crisis), neurons fire together repeatedly, strengthening pathways that favor reactivity over focus. Over time, the prefrontal cortex might become “sluggish,” less efficient at sending inhibitory signals to calm the limbic system, while the amygdala stays on high alert. This isn’t a permanent flaw—it’s an adaptation that can be reframed and retrained.

Reframing the Struggle

Instead of “I can’t focus because I’m broken,” try: “My brain’s in a high-arousal state, reacting to something real.” This shifts blame from character to context. For example, a child labeled ADHD might have a prefrontal cortex overwhelmed by a traumatic move, not a disorder. Recognizing this opens doors to targeted solutions beyond medication—like addressing the root stress or using neurofeedback to boost prefrontal efficiency.

Practical Takeaway

If focus feels off, check your arousal level. Too drowsy or too wired (shaky, restless)? Both tank attention. Try a quick reset: a brisk walk if you’re sluggish, or a minute of slow breathing if you’re amped up. It’s not about forcing focus—it’s about tuning your brain’s engine.

Shared Trauma and Its Impact on the Brain

The Collective Experience

Trauma isn’t always personal—it can ripple through families or communities. Take a city hit by wildfires: homes lost, schools gone, cafes erased. This collective shock disrupts everyone’s sense of safety, sending limbic systems into overdrive. The amygdala ramps up, scanning for threats, while the prefrontal cortex dials back, reducing patience and impulse control. A parent might snap more easily, a child’s tantrums might spike—not because they’re “bad,” but because their brains are syncing to a shared stress signal. Post-COVID lockdowns showed this too: isolation and fear spiked arousal levels, leading to a surge in ADHD-like symptoms and medication shortages.

The Neurological Ripple Effect

In these scenarios, the brain’s wiring reflects the group dynamic. Hypervigilance—seen in fast “lambda waves” at the back of the head—might drive constant scanning, even in safe settings. This isn’t voluntary; it’s the visual cortex over-connecting to the amygdala, creating a feedback loop of alertness. For a family, this might mean everyone’s on edge, amplifying each other’s reactivity. It’s a collective “buzz” that can persist, turning a temporary state into a trait if unchecked.

Reframing the Impact

Rather than “Why are we all falling apart?” consider: “Our brains are carrying a shared load.” This perspective reduces guilt—parents aren’t failing, kids aren’t defiant; they’re adapting to a shaken world. It’s a call to see behavior as a signal, not a sentence.

Practical Takeaway

Break the buzz with a collective pause. A family walk, a silly game, or even a group deep-breath session can lower arousal across the board. It’s not about erasing trauma—it’s about giving everyone’s brain a moment to recalibrate together.

How Relationships Wire Our Brain

The Social Synapse

Our brains are built for connection. The prefrontal cortex doesn’t just manage tasks—it relies on relationships to regulate emotions and behavior. A child’s meltdown often eases with a calm adult nearby because their brain “borrows” that stability, a process tied to mirror neurons—cells that mimic others’ states. But if those systems are offline (e.g., less right-brain activity), bonding can feel elusive, even with effort. A parent might nurture tirelessly, yet the child struggles to connect—not due to lack of love, but a difference in wiring.

From Parent to Child, Spouse to Spouse

This wiring starts early and never stops. A preoccupied parent—say, distracted by a phone—might leave a child’s prefrontal cortex without that external “shushing” signal, letting limbic reactivity run wild. In adults, a stressed partner’s withdrawal can trigger the same loop in their spouse. Over time, these interactions shape traits: a child’s self-regulation might falter without consistent co-regulation, or an adult’s anxiety might spike without a steady anchor. It’s not blame—it’s biology.

Rewiring Through Neurofeedback

Here’s the hope: neurofeedback can shift these patterns. By placing sensors over key regions (like an overactive amygdala), clinicians guide the brain to slow its waves—think 900-1000 reps in a 20-minute session, all while watching a show. Over weeks, this builds a new trait: less reactivity, more calm. It’s like teaching a jittery cat to trust safety, compressing years of change into months.

Reframing Connection

Swap “They’re distant because they don’t care” with “Their brain might need help feeling safe.” This fosters patience and curiosity—maybe it’s not rejection, but a wiring hiccup you can address together.

Practical Takeaway

Boost your brain’s social wiring with daily check-ins—a quick chat with a friend or loved one. If connection feels strained, try co-regulation: sit quietly together, syncing breaths. Small moments can rewire big patterns.

Strategies for Change

  • Understanding Your Baseline
    The Yerkes-Dodson law—a bell curve of arousal vs. performance—shows optimal focus lies in the middle. Too low (drowsy), and you’re foggy; too high (manic), and you’re scattered. Brain mapping reveals your baseline—say, a fast-firing thalamus inherited from a parent, pushing you toward high arousal. Knowing this helps you target the real issue.
  • Breaking the Loop
    For rumination—linked to the anterior cingulate, the brain’s “Chihuahua” that won’t stop chewing—distraction works wonders. When stuck on “Did I mess up?” write it down, then shift to a tactile task (e.g., folding laundry). It’s not avoidance—it’s giving your brain a new toy.
  • Leveraging Neurofeedback
    Available in-office or via at-home sensors, neurofeedback targets specific waves (e.g., slowing fast alpha for anxiety). After 40 sessions over four months, many see 30-50% improvement—focus sharpens, reactivity fades. It’s a game-changer for stubborn traits.
  • Embracing Collective Support
    Share your journey—tell a friend, “I’m working on my focus.” Their encouragement can co-regulate you, amplifying progress. You’re not alone; your brain thrives with others.

Your Brain, Your Potential

Focus issues, shared trauma, and relational wiring aren’t defects—they’re your brain doing its job, shaped by experience. Whether it’s a prefrontal cortex on pause, a community reeling, or a connection needing a boost, you’re not stuck. Tools like brain mapping and neurofeedback, paired with simple reframes, reveal a truth: your brain’s adaptable, and you’ve got the keys. Start small—tune your arousal, lean on others, explore your wiring. You’re not fixing a flaw; you’re unlocking potential. What could change if you saw your brain as a partner, not a problem

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Anxiety, Healthy Relationships, Neurology, Parenting, Podcast

Attachment Styles: How to Heal the Hidden Lens Shaping Your Relationships

Written by Connor McClenahan

Attachment styles profoundly impact the way you view yourself and your world.

Have you ever wondered why you react the way you do in relationships? Whether it’s a romantic partnership, a friendship, or even a professional connection, the way you form and maintain bonds with others is deeply influenced by something you may not even be aware of: your attachment style. Rooted in early childhood experiences, attachment styles act as a lens through which we view and navigate our relationships. This lens can either clarify or distort how we connect with others, often without us realizing it.

In this article, we’ll explore what attachment styles are, why they matter, and how they impact your life as an adult. We’ll also discuss practical ways to move toward a more secure way of relating to others. By understanding your attachment style, you can gain valuable insights into your relational patterns and take steps to build healthier, more fulfilling connections.

What Are Attachment Styles and Why Do They Matter?

Attachment styles are patterns of behavior, emotion, and thinking that we develop in early childhood based on our interactions with primary caregivers—typically our parents. These patterns form a template for how we approach relationships throughout our lives. The concept of attachment was first introduced by British psychologist John Bowlby, who observed that the bonds formed between children and their caregivers have a profound impact on emotional development and relational behavior.

At its core, attachment is about survival. Human beings are wired to seek safety and security through social bonds. Our brains, particularly the prefrontal cortex, evolved to help us form secure tribes or communities where we feel protected and valued. This need for connection doesn’t fade as we grow older; it simply shifts from parents to peers, partners, and colleagues. However, the way we learned to attach as children continues to influence how we seek and maintain these connections as adults.

Understanding your attachment style is crucial because it affects every relationship you have. It shapes how you handle conflict, express emotions, and perceive the availability of support from others. Fortunately, attachment styles are not set in stone. With self-awareness and effort, you can move toward a more secure way of relating to the world.

The Four Main Attachment Styles

Researchers have identified four primary attachment styles: secure, avoidant, anxious, and disorganized. Each style reflects a different way of perceiving and responding to closeness and emotional needs in relationships.

Secure Attachment: The Foundation of Healthy Relationships

People with a secure attachment style feel comfortable with intimacy and independence. They trust that others will be there for them when needed and are confident in their ability to navigate challenges. In childhood, securely attached individuals typically had caregivers who were responsive, attuned, and consistent in meeting their emotional needs. As adults, they tend to form stable, trusting relationships and are skilled at balancing their own needs with those of others.

Avoidant Attachment: The Struggle with Emotional Closeness

Avoidant attachment develops when caregivers are emotionally distant or dismissive of a child’s needs. As a result, individuals with this style learn to suppress their emotions and rely heavily on self-sufficiency. They often view asking for help as a weakness and may feel uncomfortable with too much closeness. In adult relationships, avoidantly attached people can appear independent and self-reliant, but they may struggle to form deep emotional bonds and often feel isolated.

Anxious Attachment: The Fear of Abandonment

Anxious attachment arises when caregivers are inconsistent—sometimes attentive, sometimes unavailable. This unpredictability leads to heightened anxiety about relationships. Anxiously attached individuals often crave closeness but fear that others will abandon them. They may become overly dependent on their partners, constantly seeking reassurance and validation. In adult relationships, this can manifest as clinginess, jealousy, or difficulty trusting that their partner truly cares.

Disorganized Attachment: The Impact of Chaos and Trauma

Disorganized attachment is the most complex and often stems from traumatic or abusive experiences in childhood. Caregivers in these situations may have been a source of fear rather than comfort, leaving the child confused and without a clear strategy for seeking safety. As adults, individuals with disorganized attachment may exhibit a mix of anxious and avoidant behaviors, often feeling overwhelmed by their emotions and struggling to maintain stable relationships.

How Attachment Styles Impact Adult Relationships

Your attachment style doesn’t just stay in childhood—it follows you into adulthood, influencing how you interact with others in profound ways. Here’s how each style typically manifests in adult relationships:

  • Secure Attachment: Securely attached adults are generally confident in their relationships. They communicate openly, handle conflict constructively, and trust their partners. They are also comfortable with vulnerability, which allows them to form deep, meaningful connections.
  • Avoidant Attachment: Adults with avoidant attachment often prioritize independence over intimacy. They may avoid emotional discussions, struggle to express their feelings, and distance themselves when relationships become too close. This can lead to feelings of loneliness or dissatisfaction, even in otherwise healthy relationships.
  • Anxious Attachment: Anxiously attached individuals tend to be hyper-vigilant about their relationships. They may overanalyze their partner’s words and actions, constantly seeking proof of love and commitment. This can create tension, as their need for reassurance may feel overwhelming to their partners.
  • Disorganized Attachment: Those with disorganized attachment often experience intense emotional highs and lows in relationships. They may oscillate between seeking closeness and pushing others away, driven by a deep fear of rejection or harm. This unpredictability can make it difficult to maintain long-term, stable partnerships.

It’s important to note that attachment styles exist on a spectrum. You may recognize elements of more than one style in yourself, and that’s perfectly normal. The goal isn’t to fit neatly into a category but to understand how your attachment history influences your current relationships.

Moving Toward Secure Attachment: Strategies for Growth

The good news is that attachment styles are not fixed. With self-awareness and intentional effort, you can develop a more secure way of relating to others. Here are some strategies to help you on that journey:

1. Cultivate Self-Awareness

The first step toward change is understanding your attachment style and how it affects your relationships. Reflect on your emotional responses, especially in moments of conflict or stress. Ask yourself: Do I tend to withdraw when I’m upset? Do I constantly worry about being abandoned? Recognizing these patterns is key to interrupting them.

2. Practice Emotional Vulnerability

Secure attachment requires the ability to express your emotions openly and honestly. If you’re avoidantly attached, this might mean pushing yourself to share your feelings, even when it feels uncomfortable. If you’re anxiously attached, it might involve learning to sit with uncertainty without seeking immediate reassurance.

3. Seek Support from Trusted Relationships

Healing attachment wounds often happens in the context of safe, supportive relationships. Whether it’s a friend, partner, or therapist, having someone who can listen without judgment allows you to explore your fears and vulnerabilities. Over time, these experiences can help you build a more secure internal template for relationships.

4. Engage in Therapy or Counseling

Therapy can be a powerful tool for addressing attachment-related challenges. A skilled therapist can help you process past experiences, develop healthier relational patterns, and practice new ways of connecting with others. Modalities like attachment-based therapy or emotionally focused therapy (EFT) are particularly effective for this purpose.

5. Be Patient and Compassionate with Yourself

Changing deeply ingrained attachment patterns takes time. It’s normal to experience setbacks along the way, but each step forward is progress. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a close friend. Remember, the goal is not perfection but growth.

The Power of Understanding Your Attachment Style

Attachment styles are a fundamental part of what makes us human, shaping how we connect, love, and navigate the world. By understanding your attachment style, you gain a powerful tool for self-awareness and relational growth. Whether you identify as securely attached or recognize elements of insecurity in your patterns, know that change is possible. With patience, reflection, and support, you can move toward a more secure way of being—one that allows you to form deeper, more fulfilling relationships.

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Managing emotions, Podcast

How to Best Choose a Therapist: 3 Essential Tips to Ensure the Right Fit for Success

Written by herecounseling

Choosing the right therapist can feel overwhelming, especially when you’re already facing personal challenges. However, knowing how to choose a therapist and understanding what to look for in a therapist can simplify the process. Drawing from expert insights by Dr. Connor McClenahan, director of Here Counseling, this guide highlights three essential qualities—availability, authenticity, and helpfulness—to help you find a therapist who’s the perfect fit for your needs. Let’s explore these qualities and practical tips to ensure your therapy journey is supportive and effective.

What to Look for in a Therapist:

Your therapist should be…

1. Available

When figuring out how to choose a therapist, availability is a top priority. You need someone who’s accessible when you need them most. Dr. McClenahan emphasizes this, saying, “You really want to know that when you pick up the phone, somebody is going to respond to you.” A therapist who’s available ensures you’re not left waiting during critical moments.

  • Why it matters: Delays in scheduling or responses can increase feelings of frustration or isolation. A therapist who prioritizes availability shows they value your time and mental well-being.
  • How to spot it: Look for therapists who reply promptly to inquiries and offer appointments within a reasonable timeframe. For instance, Here Counseling aims to respond within a day or two and schedule sessions within a week.

Choosing a therapist who’s available means you’ll feel supported from the start, making it easier to begin your healing process.

2. Real

Another critical aspect of what to look for in a therapist is authenticity. You want someone genuine—someone who connects with you on a human level. Dr. McClenahan notes that clients need “somebody who’s real,” highlighting the importance of a therapist’s ability to empathize and relate.

  • Why it matters: Studies show that the “goodness of fit” between you and your therapist strongly predicts therapy’s success. An authentic therapist builds trust, creating a safe space for you to share openly.
  • How to spot it: Seek therapists who are approachable and transparent. Many, like those at Here Counseling, offer profiles with blog posts or videos to help you gauge their personality before meeting.

An authentic therapist fosters a meaningful connection, which is vital when deciding how to choose a therapist you can rely on.

3. Helpful

When considering what to look for in a therapist, helpfulness is non-negotiable. Therapy isn’t just about talking—it’s about growth. Dr. McClenahan explains that a helpful therapist knows “what it takes to actually heal and grow in a therapy room,” using proven methods to guide you forward.

  • Why it matters: A helpful therapist goes beyond listening; they equip you with tools to tackle challenges like anxiety or relationship struggles. This focus on results makes therapy worthwhile.
  • How to spot it: Look for therapists trained in evidence-based approaches, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) or psychoanalysis. At Here Counseling, therapists tailor these methods to your unique goals.

Choosing a therapist who prioritizes helpfulness ensures your sessions lead to real, lasting progress.

Practical Tips for How to Choose a Therapist

Beyond these core qualities, here are some actionable steps to refine your search for the right therapist:

  • Check credentials: Confirm the therapist is licensed and experienced in areas relevant to your needs, like depression or trauma.
  • Schedule a consultation: Many therapists offer an initial chat to assess fit. Use this to ask questions and test your comfort level.
  • Read reviews: Client feedback or recommendations from friends can reveal a therapist’s strengths and style.

These steps can boost your confidence in finding a therapist who aligns with what to look for in a therapist for your situation.

Why Here Counseling Simplifies Choosing a Therapist

Wondering how to choose a therapist without the guesswork? Here Counseling makes it easier. They provide a care coordinator to match you with a therapist based on your needs, plus detailed therapist profiles with videos and posts to preview their approach. This process reflects their commitment to availability, authenticity, and helpfulness—everything you should look for in a therapist.

Start Looking Today

Deciding how to choose a therapist doesn’t have to be daunting. By focusing on availability, authenticity, and helpfulness, you can find someone who supports your growth. Ready to take the next step? Contact Here Counseling to connect with a therapist who embodies these qualities and start your path to healing.

View Our Therapists
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Anxiety, Podcast

Young Adults Need to Feel Strong: Why “Vibey” Therapists are Unhelpful, and Tips to Find a Good One for Your Young Adult

Written by herecounseling

Navigating mental health as a community college student is no small feat. At Pasadena City College (PCC), where about 24,000 students—fresh-faced high school grads, career switchers, and everyone in between—chase their dreams, the mental health team works overtime to keep up. Dr. Andrea Bailey, Faculty Lead and Clinical Director, compares her job to running a small city’s mental health system, juggling limited resources and a dizzying array of student needs.

But here’s the kicker: therapy alone isn’t enough. This article dives into why trauma thrives without communal support, the traps of “vibey” therapists that can trip up young adults, and how to spot a therapist who’ll actually help you grow.

Trauma’s Roots: Where Community Falls Short

Trauma doesn’t hit like a lightning bolt—it’s more like a slow burn. Dr. Bailey explains that after big events, like wildfires or political chaos, students don’t flood the counseling center right away. They lean on their communities first—friends, family, campus buddies. But when those ties weaken or dissolve, the fallout creeps in months later, driving up demand for therapy. This delay reveals something big: mental health isn’t just about what’s in your head. It’s tied to the people around you.

In today’s world, where stable communities—think tight-knit families or neighborhood crews—are fading, students end up relying on therapists to fill the void. Dr. Bailey’s point is clear: therapy can patch you up, but it’s communal support that keeps you steady. Without it, trauma festers, and young adults, already figuring out who they are, feel the weight even more.

The Trap of “Vibey” Therapists: Why Good Vibes Aren’t Enough

Ever met a therapist who’s all warm fuzzies but no substance? Dr. Bailey calls them “vibey therapists”—the ones who nail the cozy vibe but don’t push you to grow. For young adults, this can be a real stumbling block. Drawing from Abigail Shrier’s Bad Therapy, here are three common pitfalls of this approach and how they mess with students:

  • Fostering Dependence Over Independence
    These therapists might leave you hooked on their affirmations, like you’re a plant that can’t grow without constant watering. Young adults, who are supposed to be learning how to stand on their own, end up needing a session just to face a bad grade or a fight with a roommate.
  • Turning Struggles Into Identities
    Too much focus on feelings without a game plan can glue you to your pain. Dr. Bailey hears students say, “I am my anxiety,” like it’s their whole personality. For young adults shaping their futures, this can lock them into a victim mindset instead of pushing them past it.
  • Prioritizing Comfort Over Challenge
    If therapy feels like a hug fest with no tough questions, it’s not doing its job. Young adults need to stretch their wings—avoiding hard stuff keeps them fragile, not ready for the real world’s curveballs.

These traps don’t just stall you—they can backfire, making resilience harder to build. Shrier’s critique hits home: therapy that’s too soft can turn growing pains into permanent scars, especially for students at a crossroads.

Finding the Right Therapist: Tips That Work

So, how do you dodge the “vibey” trap and find a therapist who’s legit? It’s like picking a workout buddy—you want someone who’ll cheer you on but also call you out when you’re slacking. Dr. Bailey’s got some solid advice. Here are three tips to know if a therapist’s a good fit:

  • They Challenge You (But Not Too Hard)
    A great therapist listens, gets you, then nudges you forward. If you’re just venting every week with no progress, it’s too vibey. Look for someone who sparks action.
  • They’ve Walked the Walk
    Ask if they’ve been in therapy themselves. A therapist who’s faced their own stuff won’t lean on you to feel useful. For young adults, this means less risk of a weird, clingy vibe and more focus on your growth.
  • You Feel Seen, Not Babied
    You should leave a session feeling understood but not pampered. If they’re handing you tools or a fresh angle—not just nodding and smiling—you’ve got a keeper. It’s about moving forward, not wallowing.

These pointers help you zero in on therapy that builds you up, not just props you up.

Therapy Plus Community

Therapy’s a tool, but it shines brightest alongside real community—friends, clubs, a campus crew. At PCC, Dr. Bailey’s team pushes students to plug into campus life, because healing sticks when you’re not alone. For young adults, dodging “vibey” therapists and chasing solid support—both in and out of the counseling room—can turn a rough patch into a launchpad. In a world that’s shaky at best, that’s worth figuring out.

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Managing emotions, Neurology, Podcast

[VIDEO] Motivation 101: How to Rewire Your Brain to Get Things Done

Written by Connor McClenahan

Have you ever found yourself staring at a to-do list, feeling completely overwhelmed and unable to start even the simplest task? Maybe your house is a mess, your inbox is overflowing, or that big project is looming like a dark cloud. You’re not alone. Many of us struggle with motivation, especially when life feels like a high-wire act with no safety net.

But what if I told you that understanding your brain’s natural mechanisms could help you regain your drive and accomplish your goals? In this podcast episode, we dive into the psychology of motivation, why we lose it, and how to get it back—without beating yourself up in the process.

The Overwhelm Trap: Why Motivation Slips Away

Picture this: You’re trying to walk a high wire, 200 feet in the air, with no safety net below. Every step feels like a life-or-death decision, and the fear of falling keeps you frozen in place. This is what happens in your brain when you’re overwhelmed. Your limbic system—the emotional center responsible for sensing safety and danger—gets flooded with too many signals. Deadlines, chores, expectations—they all pile up, screaming “threat!” until you shut down.

This overwhelm often triggers a depressive spiral. You know something needs to get done—a report, the laundry, calling a friend—but instead of acting, you feel a heavy weight settle in. Sadness creeps up, followed by a sense of “I can’t do this.” In that moment, what you really need is comfort, rest, or a helping hand. But too often, what you get instead is your inner critic swooping in: “Why can’t you just get it together? You’re so lazy!”

I’ve been there. I once had a huge presentation due, and instead of starting, I berated myself for procrastinating. The harsher I got, the less I accomplished—until I was a ball of exhaustion and guilt. Sound familiar? That self-critical voice might feel like a tough coach pushing you forward, but it’s actually sinking you deeper into the spiral. The sad, overwhelmed feelings almost always win, leaving you stuck.

How Your Brain Wants to Motivate You

Here’s the good news: Your brain is built to motivate itself—it’s just that overwhelm and self-criticism throw a wrench in the works. Three key areas team up to get you moving:

  1. Limbic System: This is your safety detector. When it’s calm, you feel secure enough to act. When it’s flooded with “danger” signals, you freeze—like you’re stuck on that high wire.
  2. Prefrontal Cortex: Think of this as your inner planner. It breaks big goals into bite-sized steps and keeps you on track, like a coach mapping out a marathon training schedule.
  3. Ventral Striatum: This is your reward center, and it thrives on social connection and meaning. It’s the cheering crowd at the finish line, the pride of sharing your win with someone, or the feeling of becoming the person you admire.

When these parts work together, motivation flows naturally. The problem? Modern life floods the limbic system, drowns out the prefrontal cortex, and leaves the ventral striatum starved for meaningful rewards. But you can flip the script with a few smart strategies.

Three Steps to Reignite Your Drive

Ready to get unstuck? Here’s how to tap into your brain’s natural motivation system:

1. Create Safety First

If your limbic system thinks you’re on a high wire, it’s going to keep you paralyzed. Bring it back to solid ground with these simple tricks:

  • Gratitude: Jot down three things you’re thankful for—it could be coffee, a sunny day, or a kind text.
  • Comfort: Give yourself a hug (seriously, it works!) or call a friend to vent about your day.

These acts dial down the overwhelm, signaling to your brain that it’s safe to move forward.

2. Break It Down—Way Down

Your prefrontal cortex loves a clear plan. Big tasks like “clean the house” or “finish the project” can feel like unclimbable mountains. Instead, shrink them into tiny, doable steps:

  • Instead of “write the report,” start with “open the document.”
  • Instead of “organize the closet,” begin with “pull out one shelf.”

Focus on just the next step. Once you check it off, the momentum builds—and suddenly, that mountain looks more like a hill.

3. Make Rewards Social and Meaningful

Your ventral striatum doesn’t care about another cup of coffee or a Netflix binge. It lights up for rewards that connect you to others or your values:

  • Social: Who can you share your win with? Plan to text a friend, “I did it!” or celebrate with a loved one.
  • Meaningful: Link the task to who you want to be. Maybe finishing that report means you’re responsible like your role model, or helping a teammate aligns with your desire to be kind.

For example, when I finally tackled that presentation, I told myself, “This is me being the reliable person my dad always was.” Plus, I called my best friend to brag when it was done. Those rewards pulled me through.

The Real Motivation Killer: Self-Criticism

Here’s the catch: None of this works if your inner critic is running the show. That voice saying, “You’re not good enough,” or “Why can’t you keep up?” isn’t motivating—it’s paralyzing. Often, it’s a leftover habit from childhood, when you needed help but got sighs or eye rolls instead. Over time, you learned to turn that criticism inward.

Next time it pipes up, pause. Ask yourself, “What would I say to a friend who’s struggling?” Chances are, you’d be gentle: “It’s okay, you’ve got a lot on your plate. Let’s figure this out together.” Offer yourself that same grace. If the self-criticism feels like a brick wall, therapy can help you explore where it came from and set it aside—so you can focus on who you want to become.

You’ve Got This—And You Don’t Have to Do It Alone

Lack of motivation isn’t about laziness or a lack of discipline. It’s your brain crying out for safety, clarity, and purpose amid the chaos. By calming your limbic system, leaning on your prefrontal cortex, and feeding your ventral striatum with rewards that matter, you can break the overwhelm spiral and get moving again.

So, next time you’re staring down that to-do list, try this: Take a deep breath, list three things you’re grateful for, pick one tiny step to start with, and decide who you’ll tell when it’s done. You might be surprised how far it takes you. And if you’re still stuck? Reach out—to a friend, a loved one, or a professional. Motivation isn’t a solo sport, and you don’t have to go it alone.

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