pandemic mental health
Anxiety, Managing emotions

Taking care of your mental health during this ongoing pandemic

Written by Rose So

In 2020, Covid was new. We thought we might be home for just a couple of weeks. Those two weeks turned into a couple of months, which turned into 2021. And now, we’re in 2022, and the pandemic is still ongoing. What about pandemic mental health?

Taking care of mental health fell on the back burner for many of us. We needed to survive, and that took up the energy that we would typically use for self-care. 2 years later, we’re starting to feel the effects of that.

Do things feel directionless or purposeless? Maybe it’s burnout you’re feeling or perhaps a lack of motivation. Or is it increased anxiety? Sadness? Depression?

It has been hard to take care of your emotional and mental well-being. It feels especially hard if you’re still working from home. But not taking care of these parts of yourself is not sustainable. You can’t keep waiting for the pandemic to end before starting to take care of yourself. Ignoring your mental and emotional health will have long-lasting negative effects. It’s important to manage your pandemic mental health.

So where can you start?

1. Separate your workspace from your “rest of life” space.

  1. Even if it’s just a corner of your room or a section of your dining table, intentionally use that space as your work zone and nothing else. It’s vital to designate proper spaces for work and life while you’re still working from home. Organizing your space in this way can help reduce the stress of feeling like your office has taken over your home.

2. Pause and mindfully take note of how you are feeling.

  1. You know you feel “off” or “not yourself,” but what does that mean? Are you feeling down? Are you feeling stressed constantly? Are you feeling apathetic? Tune in with yourself and acknowledge your feelings.

3. Identify one enjoyable activity that you can begin engaging with regularly.

  1. What brought you joy or gave you a sense of purpose pre-pandemic? Is there just one thing that you can begin reengaging with as a way to reinspire, reinvigorate, recharge yourself? Whether monthly, weekly, or even daily, start with just one thing you can begin to reconnect with – maybe something lost during the pandemic.

It can feel impossible to know where to start as you consider taking care of your mental health, whether for the first time or the hundredth time. Start with small, manageable steps and slowly build upon those intentional habits – whether it’s separating your work life from your home life, pausing to acknowledge how you’re feeling, or reengaging with things you once loved. Begin taking care of yourself during this time when things continue to remain in flux and unpredictable.

Rose So, MA
Rose So, MA

I help adolescents and young adults overcome life transitions and learn to thrive.

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imposter syndrome
Anxiety, Managing emotions

Feel like you’re never enough? Here’s 5 ways to combat imposter syndrome

Written by herecounseling

Are you good enough? 

Have you ever felt like no matter how hard you’ve worked, someone will discover that you’re a phony? You don’t really know what you’re doing, but somehow you’ve convinced everyone that you deserve to be in the room. You don’t feel like you belong and, eventually, someone will realize that you don’t.

For someone who really appreciates authenticity and prides herself on her integrity, it was difficult to come to terms with my fear of getting discovered as a “fraud” or a “phony.” For every area of life that I was qualified in, there were recurring feelings of inadequacy, which ultimately lead to anxiety, self-doubt, and frustration. There was a period of my life where I couldn’t be confident in my hard work, experience, and skill, but rather only felt shame and fear with all of my accomplishments. 

I found myself striving to prove to myself and others that I was competent and capable. I was frustrated when I felt like I didn’t do enough in the roles I played in my life. But the string of thoughts convincing me that I wasn’t enough were never  true. The lies I believed about myself crippled me from being fully myself in every aspect in my life. It wasn’t that I acted like someone I wasn’t, but rather, I held myself back from being who I fully was. 

What is imposter syndrome? 

In 1978, Dr. Pauline Clance and Dr. Suzanne Imes defined the imposter phenomenon as an individual’s belief that they aren’t really intelligent, but are “convinced that they have fooled anyone who thinks otherwise.” According to Clance and Imes, who studied a sample of 150 successful women, the reported clinical symptoms of imposter syndrome were “generalized anxiety, lack of self-confidence, depression, and frustration related to inability to meet self-imposed standards of achievement.” 

Clance and Imes discovered that this belief was mainly attributed to early family roles and societal gender stereotyping. They explained that when a woman in their study experienced success, she would often filter that through either “societal expectations” or her own “internalized self-evaluations.” In other words, the women in the study’s sample needed to find explanations for their accomplishments rather than their own intelligence, which includes managing to fool others. This study took place in 1978, but it’s still just as, if not more, prominent today and needs to be talked about.

Stop feeling like an imposter in your own life. 

I realized that the first step to defeating my imposter syndrome was to name it and the main weapon I recently came into possession of is this ability to be vulnerable about it so that we as a society can acknowledge that imposter syndrome is a real thing and there is no need for shame. Valerie Young, Ed.D., an internationally-recognized expert on imposter syndrome gave a Ted Talk with  steps to overcome imposter syndrome:

  • Break the silence. Shame keeps a lot of people from “fessing up” about their fraudulent feelings. Knowing there’s a name for these feelings and that you are not alone can be tremendously freeing. 
  • Separate feelings from fact. There are times you’ll feel stupid. It happens to everyone from time to time. Realize that just because you may feel incapable, doesn’t mean you are.
  • Recognize when you should feel fraudulent. If you’re one of the first or the few women or a minority in your field or work place, it’s only natural you’d sometimes feel like you don’t totally fit in. Instead of taking your self-doubt as a sign of your ineptness, recognize that it might be a normal response to being an outsider. 
  • Develop a new script. Your script is that automatic mental tape that starts playing in situations that trigger your Impostor feelings. When you start a new job or project instead of thinking for example, “Wait till they find out I have no idea what I’m doing,” try thinking, “Everyone who starts something new feels off-base in the beginning. I may not know all the answers but I’m smart enough to find them out.” 
  • Fake it ‘til you make it. Now and then we all have to fly by the seat of our pants. Instead of considering “winging it” as proof of your ineptness, learn to do what many high achievers do and view it as a skill. The point of the worn out phrase, fake it til you make it, still stands: Don’t wait until you feel confident to start putting yourself out there. Courage comes from taking risks. Change your behavior first and allow your confidence to build. 

Let me help you. 

You deserve to be in the spaces that you take up, and whether you are accepted by everybody, you have the power and ability to stay true to your authentic self. Let me help you acknowledge your strengths and identify any lies that you or others have been telling yourself. You are enough. 

Victoria Ing, ACSW
Victoria Ing, ACSW

I empower young adults to live authentically as they journey towards wholeness.

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group of friends
Anxiety, Healthy Relationships, Managing emotions

Difficulty Trusting Others? Here’s how you can feel safe again

Written by Here Counseling

Once, exhausted after a long day, I let my body droop from the edge of my couch to lay next to my dog on the floor. Hoping I could live the comfortable life that my dog does without a worry in the world, I stared into my dog’s innocent eyes and sought comfort – the comfort of her gentle, furry touch, her warmth and a beating heart, her loyal love, and encouragement to get up another day to take care of her. In our silent exchange of emotions, as I lay quietly wiping my tears, I was in disbelief. Though my feelings may have been precipitated by my rough day and already heightened emotions, they were indisputable: I was finally feeling what it feels like to trust another being.

Trust is a funny thing. Trust may build quickly or slowly, but it often catches me off guard with its presence. And when trust is broken, the feeling of betrayal has so many facets and phases – anger, sadness, feeling lost, unsafe and unloved. 

Is it even possible to figure out what it means to trust?

Is it possible to manage my emotions after betrayal, and by learning to cope, make the whole painful process worthwhile?

How did I, on this random night, experience a whole new level of trust with my dog I adopted a year ago of all living creatures on this earth, including the ones that gave birth to me and raised me?

Trust is learned in our earliest relationships, but no parent in this world is perfect. 

I would go as far as to say that to be a responsible parent, you must not be 100% attentive to your child’s needs all the time. Children need to be encouraged to do things on their own without the help of their parents. Children need to learn to be self-sufficient and to self-soothe at times because parents can’t realistically be there for the child to save them every time they desire assistance. 

Some parents, however, with or without faults of their own, are busier, less affectionate physically or verbally, or have their own mental health issues ranging from depression to maladaptive communication skills to intergenerational trauma that may get in the way of being present and caring for their child. And unfortunately, some parents even pass away unexpectedly early and leave their children behind too soon.

So how are we supposed to trust, when even our own parents neglect, betray, or abandon us?

What should I do with this need to trust, to be comforted, to be held?

Learning to hold oneself, balancing to stay afloat, protecting ourselves from the pain of betrayal, resisting the urge to just collapse onto any stranger that provides the slightest glimpse of comfort, feels so exhausting at times. When am I going to fall?

No matter how independent and strong we want to be, we can’t avoid the act of trusting others at some point in our lives. 

And, as hard as it is to say, we have to deal with the pain that may or may not follow. The Chinese character “ren (人)” which means “person” or “people” is made of two human stick figures that are leaning on one another for support. Humans are social creatures, and we cannot survive alone. We must trust others with our feelings, hearts, and even lives. So how do we encourage ourselves to trust well in this seemingly hopeless world?

Even when we have trauma around trust, a part of us, like a seed in the ground, is waiting to trust someone.

You don’t have to tell your body to try to trust, but you can listen to the ways it’s trying to trust. It might look like sharing something small, inviting another’s interest, or expressing frustration. Like a person who will put a few pounds of weight on a bridge to see if it is safe to walk across, we do things to ensure ourselves in order to trust. We hope that the few pounds of weight on the bridge will give us the courage to walk across. Leaning on someone, letting go of our fears, taking a step not knowing if we will fall – trusting is hard work. Realistically, the best that we can do when it comes to trusting is to take that step forward while acknowledging the potential consequences of it. This sounds scary, I know. The word, consequences, does not do justice to describe the potential agony we might be putting ourselves through.

But, I’ve come to find that the following things are within our control and can make this situation less hopeless. 
  • We can try our best to discern whom to trust and how much to trust at what pace. 
  • We can learn to regulate our emotions before, during, and after we choose to trust no matter what the outcome is. 
  • We can learn to appreciate the worth in our choices to trust, and value our bravery in choosing to live fully. 
  • We can learn to comfort ourselves when things don’t go as we had hoped. 
  • We can also learn to ask for help to be comforted from those around us. 
  • Most importantly, we can respect and love the choices we make, and be okay with falling, even if it hurts. 

In the end, the goal is to survive the sometimes painful consequences of life events. We can’t give up on trusting others because we’ve been hurt before or because no one has taught us how to. We can’t give up because we depend on one another for survival. All we can do is to take care of ourselves as best as we can so that we can get up again even if someone intentionally has pulled the rug out from under our feet. We will learn to trust by first trusting ourselves that we will catch ourselves when we fall, even if that means, on some nights, I’m ugly-crying on the floor with my dog. 

Seohyun Joo, MA
Seohyun Joo, MA

I help people learn to resolve their anxiety and express their needs.

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Anxiety

Why we worry and how to make it stop

Written by Jeff Creely

For so many of us worry is a way of life. We worry about money. We worry about what people think. We worry about our health. We even worry about our past. And so often these worries attack us without warning. How often have you been going about your day, feeling fine, but suddenly find yourself obsessing over something completely random…like the wording of an email you wrote two hours ago?

  • “Why didn’t he respond yet?
  • Did I say something stupid?
  • Did I make a mistake?
  • Did I offend him?
  • What if I get fired?”


Your heart races. You feel that pit in the center of your chest. Then you spend a half hour reading and re-reading your message. 

But even when everything turns out fine, It’s still unfair, because you just lived half a day with this terror gnawing at the back of your mind. 

But the strange truth is you’re built for this fear. Your worry is a survival instinct honed over millions of years. 

You’re made to be afraid. 

10,000 years ago that fear was vitally important. Back then, a threat meant life or death. It was evolutionarily adaptive if every time you heard the grasses rustling you assumed it was a lion. 

You’d better be prepared because it only had to be a lion once for you to get eaten. 


Those people who were prepared for the lion, those who assumed the worst, they lived. And now their fear lives on in you. 

But this process that was so helpful to our ancestors; looking for threats, assuming danger, preparing for the worst at all times…it drags you down.

The threats we face are no longer life or death.

There are no lions waiting to pounce in our email. In our world this instinct distracts us from what’s important by focusing our attention on the unlikely negative. It paralyzes us from taking action because we severely overestimate the chance that bad things will happen. 

Your fear no longer serves you. 

But there is hope.

Your instinct isn’t all powerful. 

You can talk back to your fear. 

There are lots of ways to do this. And sometimes it takes a while to figure out what’s most effective. But right now, I’ll tell you the three questions I’ve found most powerful in helping people talk back to their fear. 

When you find yourself with that pit in your chest, your thoughts racing, your heart pounding…

Stop. Be gentle, ask yourself,

“What is it you’re afraid of right now?”

Then ask yourself this,

“What is the most likely to occur?” 

Don’t lie. Don’t try to be positive. Just answer honestly. Because the truth is always less scary than what we are afraid of. 

“What is most likely to occur?“

Hold onto that in the face of your fear. Hand it back to your fear when it comes up again. The truth is the most powerful weapon we have.

But if the fear persists. Ask this,

“What is the worst that could happen? Will I be ok?” 

Again, answer honestly. If you do, if you really dig down for what is true, I imagine you’ll find that whatever you fear, the absolute worst, the thing unlikely to occur, it is survivable. 

You have felt this way before. You have survived before.

You are a survivor. 

And whatever the thing you fear, it is smaller than what you can do in the face of its challenge. 

Recognize your instinct to fear. Remember your fear no longer serves you. Remind yourself of what is likely to occur. Remind yourself that you can survive the worst. 

Arm yourself with the truth. There are no lions here. 

If this video helped you in some way and you want more help talking back to your fear, I look forward to talking with you. 

Jeff Creely, PhD
Jeff Creely, PhD

I help people who struggle with anxiety and sexuality issues gain peace and freedom in their lives.

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Anxiety, COVID, Managing emotions, Neurology

Setting a Centering Affirmation: How 1 Minute in the Morning Can Set You up for Success All Day.

Written by Here Counseling

Stress is everywhere these days. 

  • You’re trying to stay afloat economically. 
  • You’re concerned for the safety of your loved ones. 
  • Some days just seem doomed from the start no matter the effort. 

This toll on your body and mind diminishes your sense of hope and peace, until you find yourself grasping to the idea that the best you can hope for is to find rest some day in the future, because it sure doesn’t seem reachable today.

What’s happening in your brain and body?

Thankfully, this is a pattern you can break. Our brains are wired to fall into the same paths each day. If those paths gravitate towards stressful or depressive thoughts, then those are the directions our minds want to keep taking. 

Imagine sledding in the snow. The first few times you take a path down a hill, it’s a little slow, a little difficult. But the more you take the same path, the snow gets worn down, solid, and lightning fast. This is what’s happening in your brain every time stress or depression try to have their way. This then has greater implications for your health.

  • Muscle tension.
  • Gastrointestinal issues.
  • Fatigue.
  • Insomnia.
  • Weight gain.
  • Extreme weight loss.

None of these things contribute to an experience of peace in your life. 

What can you do about it?

Stress and depression are usually accompanied by a small nagging voice that threatens your identity or safety. This lie about yourself can be identified with a negative “I am” statement. 

  • I’m unloved. 
  • I’m a failure. 
  • I’m not safe.

You get the point.

So FIRST I want you to take just a moment to quiet your mind, and ask your stress what negative message it’s trying to communicate to you today about yourself. 

NEXT, ask yourself what positive message you’d rather believe about yourself instead. What centering affirmation do you need to set to feel empowered for the rest of the day? These affirmations are meant to answer the negative message from above. Here are some examples.

  • I am loved.
  • I’m important. 
  • I do the best I can.

Choose the positive voice that speaks to that part of you that needs hope today. 

LASTLY, and this is key, remind yourself why this centering affirmation is true. When you say “I’m loved”, whose face comes to mind? When you say “I’m a success,” allow your mind to venture to the times you made something happen, instead of dwelling on the times you didn’t. When you tell yourself “I matter,” picture the reason you matter.

Why should you set a centering affirmation each morning?

These three steps: 1) asking what negative message stress or depression are trying to share, 2) asking what centering affirmation combats that negative message, and 3) reminding yourself why your centering affirmation is true, will take you about a minute once you get used to the practice. 

Returning to the sledding metaphor, your mind will continue to prefer its old paths for a while. As you practice this new preferred path, the path that leads to peace, what you’ll experience at first is a lot like dragging a sled down the stubborn fresh snow. The more days you choose the better path, the more solid it will become, the faster your brain will naturally make more positive connections. And before you know it, that old path won’t be so well-worn, and your brain will prefer to operate out of your centering affirmation.

Now that you’ve set your centering affirmation, you’ll want to come back to it occasionally throughout your day when the normal stresses of life show up, as they always do. Just a simple deep breath will do, inhale the centering affirmation, exhale the stress, and move on with your day. 

Taking the next step

Sometimes, you’ll find stress seems beyond what you can manage. Maybe you poured your heart out to a trusted companion and you still feel awful. Or maybe the negative thoughts seem too numerous to count. If you need to discuss therapy as a potential option for you, contact us for a free consultation to discuss your best options. We’re more than happy to help you get set up with the right person. I help with anxiety, healing from trauma, and connectedness in relationships. And together with my colleagues we can help you make sense of any number of other concerns. 

Be free to live again.

Now go and walk in your centering affirmation for the rest of the day. Let this be the voice that sets the background music of your life. And send a clear message to your stress and depression that they don’t get to call the shots anymore. 

Setting a Centering Affirmation Worksheet

Want these questions in an easy to use free downloadable worksheet? This worksheet will help you take steps forward in dealing with anxiety. You’ll also get access to all our worksheets in Here Counseling’s Resource Library!

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Gavin Cross, AMFT
Gavin Cross, AMFT

I help people make sense of their past to find hope for their future.

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Anxiety, Managing emotions, Neurology

Spending too much time on social media? Instead of a detox, try this

Written by Rose So

Sometimes your phone can feel needy. It demands your attention and pulls you away from time you wish you could enjoy. You find yourself constantly opening your apps, scrolling mindlessly through your feeds. It might be hard to notice how much time has passed!

You wish you could have a different relationship with social media.

Why social media captures our attention

Everyone around you is always on Instagram, Snapchat, TikTok, Facebook etc. and constantly posting about their lives. It’s how you stay in the know. Watching people’s stories and looking at their posts keeps you feeling like you’re in the loop.

Social media hijacks our entire outer shell of our brains, called the cortex. The main purpose of our cortex is to pay attention to our place in social networks to stay safe. Social media piggy backs on our survival instinct to stay connected and aware of our social situation.

It has been estimated that seven in ten Americans use social media as a way to connect with others, stay informed with news content, and entertain themselves. A recent study found that social media users spend an average of 2 hours and 24 minutes per day on an average of 8 social media and messaging apps. 

It makes sense – we’re really looking for safety in a social group.

What’s the problem with using social media?

Even though social media gives you a glimpse into the lives of your friends, family, and even strangers, it’s not a real, meaningful way of connecting with those individuals.

You often are not actually connecting with those individuals and engaging in thoughtful conversation that creates the basis of deep friendships. Instead, the mindless scrolling through social media, that so many of us are familiar with, can contribute to feelings of insecurity or loneliness.

It doesn’t have enough “bandwidth” to help us ever feel secure and connected.

So what can be done?

Tip #1: Take time off social media. Like a vacation! Delete your apps, or deactivate your apps. Do something that will help you separate yourself from the apps and minimize your chance of sneaking peaks in moments of weakness. 

Tip #2: Be specific. Set a day and time you will be away from social media. Give yourself a time frame for how long you will be off your apps for. This could be 1 day, 1 week, even a month or longer! But choose a time frame and hold yourself to that time frame.

Tip #3: Fill that empty time with something social. Our minds are used to spending time scrolling through social media. So simply abstaining from the apps may swing us back into dependence later on.

Identify something socially meaningful that you can engage in to fill up some of that empty time. Picnics at a park have been a great way to connect with others during this time! When you feel the urge to check social media, call a friend instead and feed your brain’s desire to connect and feel safe.

Or perhaps you’re needing some solitude. Identify what is recharging for you and spend time doing that activity. For some, that may be hiking. For others, that may be reading a book. Identify 1-2 things you’ve missed doing, whether its with others or in solitude, and replace the time you’d be on social media with those activities.

You can start creating a healthy relationship with social media today

While changing your relationship with social media might initially be difficult, it can also give you the space you need to reflect on how social media is affecting you, to understand just how unfulfilled you might be with it, and to identify other healthy, recharging activities you can engage in. These meaningful activities may allow you to actually engage and connect with others, rather than simply see their lives through the lens of social media.

So if social media is impacting you in negative ways, start today. Recharge yourself, recenter yourself, and reconnect to others.

Setting Social Media Boundaries Worksheet

Want these questions in an easy to use free downloadable worksheet? This worksheet will help you take steps forward in dealing with anxiety. You’ll also get access to all our worksheets in Here Counseling’s Resource Library!

Download Free Worksheet
Rose So, MA
Rose So, MA

I help adolescents and young adults overcome life transitions and learn to thrive, especially during this time of increased fear, boredom, and lack of motivation.

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Anxiety, EMDR, Managing emotions

EMDR Tapping at Home: How to Do Self-Administered EMDR Tapping for Stress Relief and Relationships

Written by Here Counseling

Feeling overwhelmed by your emotions or the people in your life? EMDR tapping is a simple technique you can do at home to calm your nervous system and feel more emotionally grounded. Whether it’s a parent with different views, a frustrating coworker, or a partner’s quirky habits, EMDR tapping can help you create new connections in your brain for greater emotional peace.

It’s easy to get stressed out by the people around us. That’s where EMDR tapping comes in—a simple technique you can do at home to reduce stress and manage negative emotions. EMDR tapping, also known as self-administered EMDR or tapping EMDR, can be done easily at home to manage triggers from relationships. Whether it’s a parent with different views, a frustrating coworker, or a partner’s quirky habits, EMDR tapping helps you create new connections in your brain for better emotional peace.

  • You have a parent with a different political or religious perspective than you.
  • Your coworker consistently finds ways to push your buttons.
  • Your partner can’t seem to understand how to squeeze the toothpaste correctly.

Whatever it is, you’re a living, breathing unique individual in a world full of living, breathing unique individuals, and all of that interaction is hard. That’s where EMDR tapping comes in: a way to create new connections in your brain to help you navigate emotions well.

See Our Therapists

What is EMDR Tapping? Understanding Bilateral Stimulation and Tapping EMDR Techniques

The negative experiences in your past create a code in your brain, coaxing you to feel stressed, depressed, or angry in response to certain triggers. EMDR tapping is a therapeutic process that helps you re-access these memories to change the code, helping you discover the peace you long for. This is achieved through stimulating the left and right sides of the brain rhythmically, something you can do with simple actions like tapping your knees in an alternating pattern.

EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) mimics REM sleep’s left-right eye movements through tapping, helping reprocess memories. Studies show it reduces PTSD symptoms effectively.

Memories are likely stored in the brain during left-right eye movements that occur while we sleep, and EMDR appears to mimic this process in order to heal the effects of negative memories, whether we are conscious of those memories or not.

Remember that situation that was stressing you out? You can practice the bilateral stimulation from EMDR at home to turn down the negative volume of this trigger in your life.

Benefits of EMDR Tapping at Home for Trauma and Relationships

EMDR tapping at home offers several advantages for managing everyday stress and deeper emotional issues:

  • Reduces anxiety quickly by reprocessing negative triggers.
  • Builds positive neural pathways for healthier responses to relationships.
  • Provides a self-empowering tool for mild trauma symptoms without needing immediate professional help.
  • Improves emotional regulation, helping you stay calm during conflicts.
  • Supports overall mental well-being, similar to how full EMDR therapy aids in trauma recovery.

How to Do EMDR Tapping at Home: Step-by-Step Guide for Self-Tapping

Step 1: Imagine your distress.

Who’s that person you want to get along with better? What’s the emotion you feel when you bring their face to mind? Try to really feel it. Make their face vivid in your mind until the pain becomes present. Now take a distress measurement, where 0 is no distress and 10 is the most distress you can possibly imagine. Write this down.

Step 2: Find your mental safe place.

Close your eyes and wander. Perhaps you’re walking along the ocean. Maybe you’ve found a hidden temple in the forest. As we distract your fight, flight, or freeze response with this safe place, choose a positive intention that combats the negative emotion in the previous step. Perhaps it’s “I’m worth it,” “I’m a hard worker,” or “I am loved.”

Step 3: Tap your knees.

Begin tapping your knees, alternating between left and right. Keep this slow, about 1 tap per second, keeping in mind both your safe place and your positive intention. Stay in this moment, relaxing if you can, for the next 5 minutes. Now take a deep breath, take another distress score from 0-10, and stand in power knowing you’ve taken a small step towards bettering the relationships in your life.

For EMDR self tapping, try the butterfly hug if knee tapping feels awkward—cross your arms and alternate taps on your shoulders.

Person demonstrating EMDR tapping points on knees

EMDR Tapping Points: Where and How to Tap for Effective Results

EMDR tapping points focus on bilateral alternation rather than specific meridians, unlike EFT. Common EMDR bilateral spots include knees or thighs for easy access, the butterfly hug (crossing arms and tapping shoulders), or hand taps on alternating sides. Tap at 1 per second for calming or faster for processing. Unlike EFT, which taps on acupoints like the forehead or under the eye, EMDR tapping points are chosen for their ability to create rhythmic stimulation across the body’s sides.

[Image: Illustration of EMDR tapping points including butterfly hug with alt text “Step-by-step guide to EMDR tapping points at home”]

Quick Guide to EMDR Tapping at Home:

  • Tap your knees alternately for 5 minutes while focusing on your safe place and intention, then re-rate your distress.
  • Identify a stressful situation or person and rate your distress (0-10).
  • Visualize a safe, calming place and choose a positive intention (e.g., “I am loved”).

EMDR Therapy vs. At-Home Tapping: When to Seek Professional Help

Perhaps you wonder if you should take the next step into therapy. Are you stuck in the same thought patterns and nothing seems to help? Maybe you’ve spoken with a friend and don’t feel much better. Maybe you took a day to pamper yourself but find you’re still depressed. Or maybe you feel engulfed by the same relational patterns that seem to get you nowhere.

While EMDR tapping at home is great for mild stress, full EMDR therapy with a professional is recommended for deep trauma. It could be time to look into EMDR therapy. I help people make sense of their past to find hope for their future. Click on my information below for more information. For more on certified EMDR practices, visit emdria.org.

EMDR Therapy makes a difference where it matters most

You long for peace in your relationships. You hope to be less fazed when your parent doesn’t understand. You want to focus on yourself and your efficiency when your coworker says something ridiculous. Remember these three steps. Take them with you on your bathroom break. Use them in bed to help you sleep after a difficult argument. See how empowering changing the code of your brain can be.

When NOT to Use EMDR Tapping Alone 

While self-administered EMDR tapping can be helpful, there are times when it’s best avoided without the support of a professional:

  • You’re dealing with intense trauma or PTSD
  • You experience flashbacks or panic attacks
  • You feel emotionally “numb” or dissociated
  • Your emotional response becomes too intense to handle

In these cases, self-administered tapping could stir up unresolved pain without a way to fully process it. This is when the support of a licensed EMDR therapist is essential.

Recover from past trauma through EMDR Therapy

In therapy we partner together to help you achieve your goals. We start by identifying the core issue you’d like to work on. Then we approach the issue using EMDR techniques, helping to resolve the traumatic experience. I’m confident that the issue you’re facing can be overcome. Take the first step by clicking below and learning more about our therapists who practice EMDR:

See our EMDR Therapists
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FAQ: Common Questions About EMDR Tapping

What is EMDR tapping?

EMDR tapping is a technique using bilateral stimulation to reprocess negative memories and reduce stress, mimicking REM sleep processes.

How to do EMDR tapping points?

Focus on alternating taps on knees, shoulders (via butterfly hug), or hands. Tap rhythmically at about 1 per second while holding a safe place in mind.

Can I do EMDR at home safely?

Yes, for mild issues like daily stress, but for severe trauma, consult a professional to avoid re-traumatization.

What’s the difference between tapping EMDR and EFT?

EFT involves tapping on specific meridian acupoints with affirmations, while EMDR uses bilateral taps to stimulate brain sides for memory reprocessing.

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Anxiety, COVID, Managing emotions

Therapy from Home: Practicing Serenity During Quarantine Chaos

Written by Here Counseling

When faced with what we cannot control, we can often feel stressed, aimless, and defeated. Sometimes we then try numbing ourselves with things like junk food, Netflix, or alcohol. A single chocolate bar won’t hurt, but relying on these to cope can end up leading to bigger problems long term in terms of dependency issues or not reaching our goals.

In these times of difficulty, I’ve found myself turning to an old saying: seeking to have the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Some of my material is adapted from Marsha Linehan’s work on Dialectical Behavior Therapy. You can find more of her material on her website.

If you can solve it, solve it

When we feel defeated, we need some wins. So ask yourself – what are some small things I can change today to make my world a little better?

We can also do a lot to help in terms of our physical health – and being physically unwell can make us more vulnerable to intense emotion. Try:

• Balancing your eating, and limiting binge snacking
• Setting up a sleep routine
• Limiting or avoiding substance use
• Take any medications prescribed to you
• Go on a walk or exercise at home
• Reach out to a friend who you can confide in, or a friend who makes you laugh

It can be easy to get stuck

Sometimes when people face tough problems, they feel upset, but they don’t do anything to help themselves feel better, or they act impulsively and hurt themselves or others. This is also going to keep you stuck in even more pain and suffering than you were in before, and keep you from moving forward.

Give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change

If we can’t make things better, and we don’t want to make things worse, we are left with accepting reality as it is. Sometimes we mix up acceptance and complacency, or giving up.

Acceptance does not mean:
• That you like it
• That you deserve it
• That you don’t try to change what you can

Acceptance means we open our hands and our hearts to whatever the day may bring: the good, the bad, and the ugly. We allow the world to be as it is, instead of numbing ourselves so we don’t see it.

Don’t do this alone

Now is the time to come together with loved ones. Reach out to a trusted friend, check in on your family members, and get in contact with a therapist, especially if you’re finding yourself using impulsive actions or numbing to get through quarantine. We’re all in this together – reach out today.

Ashley Holcomb, PsyD
Ashley Holcomb, PsyD

I help individuals and couples overcome the patterns that keep them from experiencing closeness in relationships.

LEARN ABOUT ASHLEY
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Anxiety, COVID

Therapy from Home: Managing a Panic Attack

Written by Connor McClenahan

Panic attacks can be scary. People experiencing panic attacks can often mistake it for a heart attack: pain or tightness in your chest, shortness of breath, and racing thoughts.

In this video, I’ll walk you step-by-step through a panic attack.

  1. Set a timer. Panic attacks often last between 15-60 minutes.
  2. Practice box breathing. I’ll walk you through how to breathe when you’re having a panic attack.
  3. Practice mindful sensory exercises. I’ll take you through sensory exercises which help put you back “in your body” and regulate anxiety.
  4. Reflect and learn from your experience. I’ll walk you through how to learn from the panic attack so you are less likely to have a panic attack in the future

Help during social distancing and quarantine

This video is part of a series – Therapy from Home – a resource we hope you use to help you get access to mental health during the quarantine. In this time of isolation and fear, we want to make sure you can get the help you need, even without scheduling an appointment. Please check back in to our COVID-19 resource page for more videos like this to help you address emotional and relational difficulties from your home.

Connor McClenahan, PsyD
Connor McClenahan, PsyD

I help lawyers and other professionals overcome difficult emotions and experience meaning and purpose in their lives.

Learn more about Connor
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Anxiety, COVID

Dealing with Anxiety in the Age of the Coronavirus

Written by Here Counseling

With the coronavirus on everyone’s minds, social media pages, and news channels, it’s a scary world out there.

“Should I buy more toilet paper?”

“Is this runny nose a symptom?”

“What if my kids’ school closes?”

“How will I pay my bills if I can’t work or run out of sick days?”

Many of us are feeling anxious and unclear about what the coronavirus may mean for our health, our loved ones, and our finances.  Some are taking to stocking up on paper goods, while others post silly memes to mock them in an attempt to bring some balance.  Plenty are avoiding the news all-together.

Though having anxiety about the coronavirus does not necessarily mean having an anxiety disorder, we can use some of the same lessons we learn from managing anxiety to manage our corona-stress.

Neither panic nor avoidance will make your stress go away.

When we avoid something stressful, it never really goes away, it simply gets pushed down.  Then, when we are most tired, irritable, or even hungry, it pops back up as anger, panic, stomach pain, sleep problems, etc.  Panic and avoidance are actually two sides of the same coin.

Your anxiety is there for a reason

Your body and brain were made to help you avoid bad things happening!  If you see a wild bear coming toward you, and your brain and body do not become afraid or anxious, you don’t run away in time!  Anxiety is meant to help you see possible threats in order to do something about them.

So what should I do about it?

As difficult as it may be, we all have to stay aware of what is going on in our communities.  That doesn’t mean reading every story about it online or following how they handle it in Italy – this means knowing what is happening in your community now, and any CDC recommendations or governmental regulations for your area.  Get educated about how the virus works, from reputable specialists.  Start with the CDC Website and start one article at a time, making sure to take breaks in between if you start to feel overwhelmed.  It can be tempting when we start to read every article and go down every rabbit hole, but try to limit yourself to just what you need to know to be safe.

Ok, I’m educated and prepared – what now?

It is in times when we do not know the outcome, and in which the things we care about feel at risk, that we must turn toward our values and our loved ones.  Pick one of these things you can do today:

  • Spend time with your family
  • Call an elderly family member
  • Play a game with your kids
  • Pray, meditate, or engage in another spiritual
    practice, if that is comfortable for you
  • Be a little kinder to your neighbor
  • Do the things that make you feel like your best
    self

If you find that your stress is overwhelming you, reach out for support to a loved one or consider talking to a therapist.  We’re all in this together – let this be a time where we lean into what matters.

Ashley Holcomb, PsyD
Ashley Holcomb, PsyD

I help individuals and couples overcome the patterns that keep them from experiencing closeness in relationships.

LEARN ABOUT ASHLEY
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