Managing emotions

Will I ever get over this grief? How to integrate loss to create hope

Written by Here Counseling

“Almost all therapeutic work is grief work,” I remember one of my psychology professors saying. This stood out to me as ringing true. We feel grief in many dimensions of our life, in loss, of course, but also in change, even in renewal. We can feel grief when we enter a new phase of our lives, longing for times when things seemed simpler or easier. We can also grieve for a past self and wish to feel like them again. You may have not allowed yourself to fully grieve the complex parts of yourself. Sometimes we want to simply “get over” our grief. Ultimately you will find that processing your grief is possible in therapy.

When we feel sad, we can numb ourselves or turn away from the uncomfortable feelings to cope with the internal pain. We grew up with messages like, “Nobody likes a sad sack.” or, “Don’t be a party pooper.” or, “Put on some lipstick and you’ll feel better.” We are taught that “wallowing in pain” is what weak people do. The irony is that, in fact, wallowing in pain is what strong people do.

Getting over Grief vs Moving Through Grief

Getting over grief

Dr. Gabor Mate said, “All of western medicine is built on getting rid of pain, which is not the same thing as healing. Healing is actually the capacity to hold pain.” We spend so much energy keeping “bad” feelings away that we unintentionally equate any emotional discomfort as not being “good.” When dealing with grief, the opposite is true. We need to pour the energy we use keeping pain at bay into surrendering to it in order to move through it.

Processing grief

So, how do we feel grief without completely succumbing to it? Firstly, we do not focus on “getting better,” or “returning to normal.” As hard as it may be, we take each step of the process as it comes, trying to hold the despairing feelings with compassion while maintaining a core sense of self as you focus on healing. And how do we do that? We reach out, to friends, family, and perhaps most importantly, to a therapist.

Healing the Grieving Hole in Your Heart

An important thing to remember about grief, is that it is not a permanent condition. Grief can visit us throughout our lives, but it does not have to move in and stay forever. The key to dealing with grief visitations is feeling them. Sometimes, when you experience deep grief, it can seem like there’s a hole in your heart. Rather than crawl into that hole and feel the grief, you can fill the hole with guilt. This is another way we avoid the discomfort of processing grief; we defend against it by blaming ourselves. That’s how hard truly dealing with grief is – we would rather feel shame than grief! The truth is, we need to learn how to be in close relationship with grief.

You Don’t Have to be Alone with Your Grief

Two people grieving

Another truth about grief is that we cannot go through it alone. Processing grief is not the time to isolate, but rather the time to thoughtfully engage with those that you can trust, be vulnerable with, and be honest about the pain you are experiencing. Maintaining key relationships with caring people is vital to productive processing. Therapy is the best place to safely navigate deep pain with an experienced clinician holding the full range of your feelings with empathy and unconditional positive regard.

If you want to process your grief in therapy, please reach out. I help people integrate grief and experience greater hope.

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EMDR, Managing emotions

Is EMDR the Right Somatic Therapy for You? How to tell which therapy is best

Written by Here Counseling

“I don’t feel right in my own skin.” That sensation, of not feeling comfortable in your body, is a signal that simply talking about difficult memories, experiences, and emotions may not be enough to fully process and heal from your discomfort. The dis-ease you feel may need to be treated with therapeutic techniques that don’t rely solely on the thinking self, but on the feeling and sensing self as well: that is somatic psychotherapy.

Somatic approaches to healing were originally developed to treat trauma and post-traumatic stress disorder. Now, somatic therapies have been found to be helpful for relief of all kinds of stressors. Often, people automatically equate somatic therapy with eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR), but there are many other types. Which somatic therapy is right for you?

EMDR – Benefits

When people look for somatic therapy, they often get directed to Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR). EMDR asks you to identify the sources of trauma in your life. As you recall the sources, a therapist guides you to follow certain eye movements (such as following a pen moving side to side in front of you) to retrain the brain on a neurological level to lessen the impact of that trauma memory. This modality has been proven helpful for many people who can identify the life events that caused them to feel distressed and slowly diminish their negative impact on the body and psyche.

EMDR – Limitations

EMDR may not be the best modality to treat conditions that are biological, genetic, or generational. EMDR is not recommended for people who have dissociative disorders, complex trauma, or those who cannot identify the events from their past that bring them emotional or physical discomfort.

You may not fall under any of the above categories, and still found that EMDR did not help you ease pain around past trauma. That may be because you do not get triggered during session when those memories are brought up. EMDR works when the client becomes activated or upset when a certain traumatic memory is brought up, but if you do not get activated, the treatment cannot be effective.

Alternative Somatic Therapies to EMDR

  • Somatic Experiencing (SE): Like EMDR, SE asks clients to return to traumatic memories while a therapist guides them to slowly tolerate body sensations and emotional distress. This modality is based on the nervous system’s flight/flight/freeze response to potential harm. SE helps clients gently release stored energy from incomplete nervous system re-set.
  • Brainspotting: Like EMDR, Brainspotting was developed to treat trauma and identifies spots in a person’s visual field. This modality involves asking the client to discuss difficult feelings while noticing when they blink, twitch, wobble or roll their eyes. These micro movements act as a map for where the client should mindfully hold a particular eye position to help process trauma.
  • Body-Mind Centering integrates movement, touch, voice, and mind. Like Alexander technique, it works to re-pattern the fundamental natural developments of the body. This modality works well for those who are comfortable with free movement and are interested in the application of anatomical and physiological approaches to healing and wellness.
  • Hakomi Method is based on the idea that the body is a core resource for self-understanding. Almost all Hakomi sessions takes place in a state of mindfulness, where the client holds an inward focus on the present moment. This modality also incorporates aspects of depth psychology, which allows unconscious material that the client might not be aware of to surface and be integrated.
  • Sensorimotor Psychotherapy was developed to remedy the disconnect between mind and body during the healing process. Unlike EMDR and SE, this modality does not need the client to return to the traumatic memory itself, but rather simply the time leading up to the trauma, and then talk about any feelings they experience. The therapist will ask you to locate feelings in the body and encourage the completion of movement that were unfulfilled to create closure.
  • Laban Movement Analysis (also known as Bartenieff Fundamentals) is based on the idea that certain non-verbal postures and body movements are connected to specific emotions and that you can impact your emotional state by adjusting your body shape. Therapists “track” client movement during session, offering insight into how the movement may be connected to emotion.

All the above somatic therapy modalities have their own training and certification process. If one of them feels like a good fit, you can find a specific practitioner near you.

Woman receiving EMDR somatic therapy

Somatic Therapy Tailored for YOU.

If you are still not sure if you want to focus on just one treatment style, you can see a therapist, like me, who holds a Certification in Somatic Psychotherapies and Practices and can dip into many different modalities as needed. I highly recommend this path for those with more than one concern or diagnosis, people who suffer from both physical and emotional pain, for those who are unsure about where their emotional or physical pain comes from, and for those who want to augment regular talk therapy with specific somatic interventions tailored to fit their needs.

You may have come to therapy, not because your mind told you to, but because your body did. When the body speaks, listen.

I would love to talk with you more about providing the somatic therapy best for you.

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Anxiety

The ABC’s of Panic Attacks: How to Empower Yourself

Written by Here Counseling

By Arianne MacBean

Many clients come to therapy because they experience panic. Panic, or intense anxiety, can show up in the most random places and moments. You’re sitting there, doing your thing, and then suddenly you feel dizzy, your heart races, you feel nauseous, and a sense of doom overtakes you. This is panic, and it can feel overwhelming. However, there are three steps you can take to understand, manage, and re-ground yourself if you find yourself in the throes of an episode.

Panic attacks are a way your body deals with fear.

Before we get to the ABC’s of how to deal with panic, it’s important to understand that panic is a way your body deals with fear, and it is a natural survival mechanism. In a way, panic is your body trying to help you. You’ve probably heard of the flight, flight, freeze responses that all animals have when they are faced with something that threatens them. These innate responses say that when the animal is frightened, they should either engage aggressively, run away, or hide. Fight, flight, and freeze are tools that keep animals alive.

You can ease out of panic attacks.

When a human animal experiences panic, it’s the same thing. Panic in a human is saying, “You’re scared, and you need to do something about it.” But why do we experience panic when we’re just sitting on the couch? Because life is complicated for human animals, and we have many kinds of micro and macro threats that we experience over a lifetime. Those threats become recorded into the body and, especially if we do not process them, they can show up unannounced to remind us that we do indeed need to deal with them. In this way, panic is a reminder that we have some fear that needs to be processed. This is why so many clients come to therapy – to deal with these unconscious fears. So, when you’re not in the therapy office processing emotions in a safe space with a caring advocate, how can you soothe yourself out of panic?

The ABC’s of Panic Attacks: 3 ways to recover

A. Acknowledge.

It’s vital that when you begin to experience panic that you acknowledge what is going on and that the panic is not YOU, but a feeling you have. Acknowledging panic can look like saying to yourself, “You’re feeling panic. Panic is just your body telling you to pay attention.” You can remind yourself that panic is an energy in your body that will pass soon. Our instinct when we feel panic is to distract ourselves from the discomfort and focus on something else, but like most emotions, being with the feeling will help you move through it more productively than ignoring it. Dealing with, and acknowledging panic, is the one of the best cures for it.

B. Breathe.

Focusing on your breath really is the trick to calming panic. A simple slow inhale through the nose and a long, controlled exhale through the mouth is always a great technique. If you watch any great baseball slugger at bat, you will see them use this method to calm themselves under pressure. If you want to try something a little more structured, you can inhale for a count of three, and exhale for a count of five. Lengthening the exhale will activate your parasympathetic nervous system, which controls how the body relaxes.

C. Center.

Centering is a way to re-orient yourself back to the here and now. A great way to center is to look around and notice three things in the environment around you. When your eyes fall on, let’s say, a bookshelf, really look at it. Notice the spines of the books, the colors of covers, the sheen of the wooden shelf. Then, let your eyes wander to another thing in your field of vision. Focus on it, see the details, textures, as if you’re looking at it for the first time. This will help bring you to the safety of the moment. It will help you see that you are not under attack.

As much as panic can feel engulfing, it is not entirely out of your control. Understand that panic is your body’s way of letting you know you have feelings of fear that need to be addressed. Acknowledge that panic is an energy force moving through you. Breath to anchor yourself and calm the panicky energy. Center yourself by gently engaging with the environment around you. These ABC’s are steps you can take to befriend panic as a signal to slow down, check in with yourself, and be in the process of healing.

LEARN MORE ABOUT ARIANNE



Further Resources for Understanding Panic:
https://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/Resources/Looking-After-Yourself/Panic

https://washingtoncenterforcognitivetherapy.com/problems-treated/panic-disorder/panic-disorder-organizations/

https://www.psychologytools.com/self-help/panic-attacks-and-panic-disorder/

https://www.healthline.com/health/anxiety/best-anxiety-books#A-quick-look-at-the-13-best-books-about-anxiety

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Anxiety, Managing emotions

What is somatic psychotherapy? How body awareness restores your mind

Written by Here Counseling

Somatic psychotherapy is the umbrella term for methods of therapy that are rooted in the body where trauma, stress, and memory are housed. Somatic psychotherapies are based on the theory that the body holds emotion and experience. When hard-to-handle feelings and traumas are not processed, they can manifest as anxiety, panic, depression, chronic pain or illness, relational issues, self-esteem problems, grief, or post-traumatic stress disorder. Somatic methods aid in draining the power of these feelings through attunement with the body – its positions, gestures, energies, and sensations. 

Somatic Psychotherapy Modalities

There are many somatic psychotherapeutic modalities. You may have heard of some of them such as, Somatic Experiencing, Sensorimotor Psychotherapy, Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR), Hakomi Method, Brainspotting, and plain old Mindfulness. Ultimately, the kind of somatic work that happens in the therapy room depends on the client and the therapist and can involve a wide variety of techniques, including breath work, visualizations, sensory awareness, posture tracking, guided imagery, gesture, and movement. 

Somatic Psychotherapy Exercises

Sometimes, somatic exercises are very straight forward, such as simply sending compassionate breath toward a particular part of the body that is experiencing activation. Other times, exercises are created on the spot to aid a client’s specific needs in the moment. For example, a client who struggles with low self-esteem feels they are unable to accept compliments. They might say, “Positivity just flows right through me – in one ear and out the other.” In this case, we might mindfully “build” a space in the body to hold compliments, positive feedback, and love. Then, when they hear a compliment, they can visualize the affirmation dropping into and being held compassionately in the space they created for it in their body.

Somatic psychotherapy is a way to help people feel safe in their bodies while exploring thoughts, feelings, and memories. Painful experiences live in us on a cellular level, but we can heal by restoring the body to live with vitality, ease, and joy.

Questions about Somatic Psychotherapy

  • One question I often get is, “Does somatic psychotherapy include talk therapy?” The answer is YES! Although somatic practices are body-based, talking through feelings and sensations is an essential component of the therapeutic work.
  • Another question I get is, “Do I have to dance?” And the answer is NO, not unless you want to. Like most productive therapy, somatic work is client-centered and client-lead. Together with your therapist, you decide when and how to integrate the body into the healing process.

If you choose to work with me, you can expect:

  • I will naturally return to the body in the here and now as a way to ground and understand authentic self.
  • I utilize body scanning techniques to gain awareness of where pain or emotion is located in the body.
  • I track and bring awareness to repetitive gestures or postures that align with certain memories or feelings to aid in self-knowledge.
  • I share tools for calming, centering, and releasing emotions in productive ways.
  • I gently guide clients through painful experiences while noting the accompanying physical sensations and addressing them in the moment.
  • I emphasize the body as a base to locate natural resources, strengths, and self-empowerment.

If you have interest in somatic psychotherapy and healing your body, I would love to talk with you.

Learn about Somatic Psychotherapy with Arianne

Further reading on somatic psychotherapy:

The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma (Hardcover) by Bessel van der Kolk 

Hakomi Mindfulness-Centered Somatic Psychotherapy: A Comprehensive Guide to Theory and Practice (Paperback) by Halko Weiss 

Somatic Psychology: Body, Mind and Meaning (Paperback) by Linda Hartley 

Awakened Heart, Embodied Mind: A Modern Yoga Philosophy Infused with Somatic Psychology & Neuroscience (Kindle Edition) by Julian Walker

Here Counseling

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Parents who have undergone their Pre-Adoption Psychological Evaluation with their adopted child: a happy family.
Testing and Assessment

Unlock the Power of the Pre-Adoption Psychological Evaluation

Written by Here Counseling

Transitioning into parenthood through adoption is a journey filled with anticipation, love, and the promise of new beginnings. Yet, as you embark on this life-altering adventure, there are essential steps to consider. One of these steps is the Pre-Adoption Psychological Evaluation. In my previous blog, I detailed exactly what this process is and how to navigate it. You can read that by clicking here. Adoption agencies require a psych eval as part of the adoption process to help ensure a good placement of child and parent(s) (which you can read more about by clicking here). Today, let’s delve into the invaluable insights this evaluation can offer you, as you prepare to embrace parenthood through adoption.

The Significance of the Pre-Adoption Psychological Evaluation

As mentioned, in my previous blog, I provided a comprehensive explanation of what a Pre-Adoption Psychological Evaluation entails. Furthermore, I highlighted how it serves as a vital tool for prospective parents. It offers them a deeper understanding of themselves, their parenting styles, and their readiness for adoption. If you haven’t had a chance to read that blog, I encourage you to do so, as it lays the foundation for the discussion here. Now, let’s shift our focus to the significance of the Pre-Adoption Psychological Evaluation beyond its procedural aspects. Here, we explore why this evaluation is more than just a checklist item—it’s a transformative experience that can enrich your adoption journey in numerous ways.

1. Self-Discovery and Reflection

The evaluation process encourages introspection. It prompts you to reflect on your motivations, values, and experiences, allowing you to gain a deeper understanding of your own identity and how it aligns with your parenting aspirations.

2. Navigating Challenges

Parenthood, whether through adoption or biological means, comes with its share of challenges. The Pre-Adoption Psychological Evaluation equips you with insights into your coping strategies, emotional resilience, and stress management techniques, ensuring you are better prepared to handle the demands of parenting.

3. Building Secure Attachments

Understanding your attachment style and history is pivotal in forming strong bonds with your future child. This knowledge enables you to create a secure and loving environment for them from day one. Understanding your attachment style and history is crucial for building strong bonds with your future adopted child. Your attachment style, whether secure or otherwise, shapes how you approach relationships and parenting. A secure attachment style can foster a safe and emotionally connected environment, while recognizing less secure styles empowers you to address potential challenges. By delving into your attachment history, you gain insights into your tendencies and can proactively create a loving, secure, and emotionally nurturing atmosphere for your adopted child, ensuring they feel valued and cherished from day one in their new family.

4. Setting Realistic Expectations

It’s common for individuals to have expectations about parenthood and adoption. The evaluation helps you align these expectations with the realities of the adoption process, fostering a more informed and adaptive mindset.

5. Strengthening Support Networks

A strong support system is crucial on your adoption journey. The evaluation process encourages you to assess your existing support network and explore ways to enhance it, ensuring you have the backing you need.

6. Personal Growth

Embracing the evaluation as an opportunity for personal growth can be immensely rewarding. It’s not about judgment but about growth, self-awareness, and empowerment.

7. Informed Decision-Making

Post-evaluation, you’ll have a clear picture of your strengths and areas for development. Armed with this knowledge, you can make informed decisions about your adoption journey, from choosing the right agency to preparing for your child’s arrival.

Utilize the Power of the Pre-Adoption Psychological Evaluation

Remember, the Pre-Adoption Psychological Evaluation is not a standalone event. Rather, it is an integral part of your preparation for parenthood. By recognizing the importance of self-discovery, personal growth, and readiness, you can navigate the adoption journey with greater confidence and insight.

In my role as a clinical psychologist with extensive experience in Pre-Adoption Psychological Assessments, I am here to support you on this transformative path. The evaluation process is a collaborative and nurturing experience, designed to empower you to become the best possible parent for your future child.

Book your Pre-Adoption Psychological Evaluation Today

Let’s begin this adventure together, where every step is a meaningful one toward becoming the loving and nurturing parent you aspire to be. Your journey to parenthood through adoption continues, and I am here to walk beside you every step of the way.

Ready to embark on this incredible journey? Click below to book your Pre-Adoption Psychological Evaluation with us today.

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Managing emotions

Constantly worrying? How to soothe rumination using somatic psychotherapy

Written by Here Counseling

Have you ever been driving somewhere, and a memory from the past suddenly overwhelms you and you forget where you are going? Have you ever woken up in the middle of the night and began to worry about all the things you need to do, until the thoughts take over and you cannot fall back to sleep? Or have you ever had a perfectly normal day, when all of a sudden, a negative thought creeps into your head and snowballs into a sadness that you can’t shake off? This is rumination, persistent negative thoughts that hijack our minds, interfering with normal activity.

Many clients turn to therapy because they cannot get out of their heads or worry too much. Rumination is common, normal, and most of the time, temporary. In some severe cases, it can become continuous and negatively impact daily functions. More common temporary rumination is the mind’s way of letting us know we are anxious, and we can do something to help soothe ourselves out of this state.

Do thoughts have you, or do you have thoughts?

The way I like to describe rumination is that it feels like thoughts have you, rather than you having thoughts. It’s as though your thoughts are dragging you away from your centered self. Thoughts are in control, not you. Here are a few techniques that can get you back to feeling that you are in control of where you mind goes.

1. Move your body to reduce worry

A great way to unlock ourselves from rumination is to move our awareness into our body. If you find yourself ruminating in bed while trying to fall asleep, hug your knees tightly to your chest and then alternate that position with a long, big, full-bodied stretch. You will find that you naturally inhale deeply on the stretch and exhale slowly when you crunch you knees to your chest. Do this a few times. You might even want to exhale with aahhh, shhhhhh, or hhmmm sound, which stimulates the vagus nerve system, helping to promote inner balance and relaxation. 

If you’re driving, shoulder rolls can help bring your focus to your body and you can keep both hands on the wheel! Try inhaling as you roll the shoulder forward and up, and exhaling as you roll them back and down. Try to trace the widest circle your shoulders can make. Again, you can add a sound on the exhale – and the best thing about doing this when you’re driving alone is that no one can hear you. So, make the sounds as loud and weird as you want. A sense of playfulness can also help ease our way out of obsessive thinking.

2. Touch your body to reduce worry.

If you find yourself ruminating, you can give yourself a gentle face massage, or lightly tap the tips of your fingers on your face, head, neck, chest, and shoulders. This body stimulation will aid in notifying your brain that you are safe and not in harms way. It will signal to your brain that it’s OK to relax. You can also alternating tapping your right and then left thigh, which activates your right and left brain, aiding in re-orienting and unhooking from repetitive thinking.

3. Focus on your breath to reduce worry

A tried-and-true method that has helped many of my clients fall back to sleep or bring them swiftly out of a rumination episode is a ten-count visualization. This works best with eyes closed or soft inward focus, so do not do this on the road! Tune into your natural breathing rhythm. When you’re ready, visualize the number one in your mind’s eye as you exhale. Conjure the number so that you see it in front of you, almost like the number appears in your mind floating. Do this for each number all the way to ten, and then begin again with number one. This is the key – always return to one after you reach ten. Some nights, it might take three rounds before you fall sleep and others, ten or twenty. Keep at it! If you find your mind returning to intrusive thoughts let them glide by and return to your ten count visualization.

If you can’t close your eyes, but you need a breathing technique to re-center yourself after you have moved or touched your body out of rumination, a simple box breathe can help. Visualize your inhale moving up the left side of a square, extend or hold the inhale as you visualize tracing the top line of the square, exhale as you visualize tracing down the right line of the square, and extend or hold the exhale as you visualize tracing the bottom line, completing the square.

Freedom to be.

Repetitive thoughts do not have to drag us away from ourselves. They are signals that we need some reassurance, re-calibrating, and re-centering. Activating the body is a powerful way to exit the hamster wheel of obsessive thinking and anchor ourselves in the life force of breath, and just be.

-Arianne MacBean

Somatic therapy in Pasadena with Arianne MacBean, AMFT
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Childhood ADHD screener. Pre-Adoption Evaluation for parents trying to adopt child as psychologist helps individual or couple with adoption process
Testing and Assessment

Pre-Adoption Psychological Evaluations: Everything You Need to Know

Written by Here Counseling

The journey towards adoption can be a roller-coaster of emotions, hopes, and uncertainties. If you are a prospective adoptive parent, you may feel wholly overwhelmed by the process. This can be frustrating and confusing. You may find yourself wondering why the worthy goal to provide a loving and stable home for a child in need is so challenging. Perhaps you are thinking that a Pre-Adoption Psychological Evaluation is just one more box to tick in a series of required steps towards your goal. Additionally, you may be wondering why it is even necessary.

I am here to simplify this process. Psychologists play a crucial role in the adoption process. We offer support and conduct Pre-Adoption Psychological Evaluations to ensure the best possible match for both child and family. My goal is to make this part of the process comfortable, streamlined, and straightforward for you. Firstly, let me explain what we will be doing and why Pre-Adoption Psychological Evaluations have become a mandatory step in the adoption process.

To learn more about our pre-adoption psychological evaluation services in California, click here. You can also book a call with us at the button at the bottom of the page.

Understanding Pre-Adoption Psychological Evaluations

A pre-adoption psychological evaluation is a comprehensive assessment conducted by a psychologist to determine the psychological readiness of prospective adoptive parents. This evaluation aims to provide insights into the individual’s emotional well-being, parenting abilities, and capacity to meet the needs of an adopted child. Here are some key aspects of the evaluation:

1. Psychosocial History

Firstly, I will conduct a clinical interview to assess your psychosocial history. This includes an exploration of your own family of origin and your mental health history, including any previous diagnoses or treatments. By understanding your mental health journey, I can assess its impact on your current well-being and coping strategies. That’s because this helps me identify potential challenges and develop strategies to support you in providing a loving and stable environment for your future child.

2. Parenting Attitudes and Skills

Secondly, I will ask you about your parenting attitudes, beliefs, and strategies. My aim here is to learn more about your ability to provide a nurturing and supportive environment. We will explore elements such as your parenting approach, discipline methods, and communication style. This part of the assessment helps ensure that your parenting style aligns with the needs of the child you adopt.

3. Relationships and Support Systems

Thirdly, I will evaluate your current support systems, including your relationships with family, friends, and community, which contribute to a strong support network. I recognize the importance of a robust support system in the adoption journey. By assessing the quality of your relationships and the availability of social support, I can gauge the resources you currently have in place and recommend additional resources, if relevant, to help you navigate the joys and challenges of adoptive parenting.

Common Questions about Pre-Adoption Psychological Evaluations

1. I’ve already done so much. Why is a psychological evaluation necessary for adoption?

A pre-adoption psychological evaluation is necessary to ensure the well-being and compatibility of the prospective parents and the child, promoting a successful adoption outcome and long-term family stability. By assessing various psychological factors, I can identify any potential challenges or areas of strength, which allows me to provide targeted support and guidance throughout the adoption process.

2. I have faced mental health challenges in the past. Sometimes I still do. Will this affect my chances of adopting?

Firstly, having a history of mental health challenges does not automatically disqualify someone from adopting. Psychologists focus on assessing your current emotional well-being and coping strategies. I understand that individuals grow and evolve over time. Thus, your present state matters most in determining your readiness to provide a loving and stable home. I work collaboratively with you to address any concerns and to provide resources and strategies to support your emotional well-being throughout the adoption journey.

3. What can I do to prepare for a pre-adoption psychological evaluation?

Prior to the evaluation, it is helpful to reflect on your motivations for adoption, review your parenting strategies, and be open and honest about your experiences and challenges. Initially, consider what you envision for your future family. Next, think about any concerns or questions you may have. Remember, the evaluation is designed to support you in the adoption process, so approach it with an open mind and a willingness to share your thoughts and feelings. Understandably, it can be uncomfortable to talk about such personal topics. That’s why I create a warm, empathetic, and comfortable space for your evaluation, be it virtual or in-person.

Choosing the Right Psychologist for Your Pre-Adoption Psychological Evaluation

It is important to consider what you are looking for from your assessment. I pride myself in offering competitive prices to lower the financial stressor. I also offer both virtual and in-person assessments. Therefore, as long as you are a resident of California, you don’t have to physically be in Los Angeles. If you’re interested in virtual assessment, check in with your adoption agent. Specifically, ask if the country you are adopting from (e.g. India) requires you to be at least partially assessed in-person. If you would like to learn more about Pre-Adoption Psychological Evaluations, peruse common Q&A’s answered by Raising Everlasting Hope by clicking here.

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Person utilizing EMDR to address trauma
EMDR, Managing emotions

Is EMDR the best way to treat trauma? Proven therapy options to help you recover

Written by Here Counseling

Emotional trauma can be a daily struggle. It can be upsetting to have feelings like fear, panic, anger, or sadness pop-up uninvited. Maybe you have wondered about how to get help, but have felt overwhelmed at the options. Which therapist is going to help me? Is there a “right” kind of therapy that will make my daily life better? And what is EMDR?

I understand how hard it can be to settle on the right kind of therapy for you. In this blog, I’m going to help you make sense of a few of the most common approaches to treating emotional trauma, including EMDR, Somatic Experiencing, CBT, and DBT.

Is there a “go-to” way to treat trauma?

In short, no. Trauma affects people in very different ways. It can be caused by a single highly traumatic event or by repeated experiences to what therapists refer to as “little ‘t’ traumas.” Regardless of the form it takes, trauma can cause long-lasting psychological distress that affects every aspect of one’s life.

Let’s talk options, EMDR and otherwise

The most common form of therapy for trauma is talk therapy. Talk therapy can utilize numerous modalities, from psychodynamic to CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy). Both integrate evidence-based practices. They have been tried and tested and demonstrated effectiveness across various populations and symptoms. EMDR is a new method that many people find highly effective to alleviate their symptoms of trauma. However, it is just one of many therapeutic techniques that can help you more effectively cope with and overcome your trauma. Depending on your needs and preferences, you may select for a therapist who specializes in one/multiple of the following forms of treatment.

1. Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

In recent years, EMDR was developed. It quickly became a popular form of treatment for trauma. EMDR was developed in the late-1980s by psychologist Francine Shapiro to treat PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). EMDR targets trauma’s underlying emotional and cognitive processes. Therapists who practice EMDR believe that traumatic experiences can become “stuck” in the brain. Memories of trauma can thus cause negative beliefs and emotions that affect one’s ability to cope. EMDR can help reprocess these experiences and help develop more adaptive beliefs and coping mechanisms.

In summary, EMDR involves bilateral stimulation. This may be achieved through eye movements, tapping, or auditory cues. While focusing on these cues, the client focuses on a traumatic memory. This bilateral stimulation is believed to aid the client as they reprocess their traumatic memory, thereby facilitating the client to process the memory in a new manner. In my next blog, I’ll interview a therapist who integrates EMDR into treatment for trauma to further explore the goals, practice, and effectiveness of EMDR therapy.

2. Somatic Experiencing (SE)

Of the other treatment methods included in this blog, Somatic Experiencing (SE) has the most in common with EMDR. If you have ever heard of “tapping,” you are already familiar with SE! SE focuses on the physical sensations associated with trauma. It is based on the belief that traumatic experiences can become “trapped” in the body. SE theorizes that by releasing these physical sensations, you can release the trauma and heal. In SE, the therapist will help you become more aware of the physical sensations associated with trauma. This may include tightness in the chest, tension in the muscles, or a racing heart. You will then learn to tune into these sensations and to develop strategies for releasing them. SE often involves gentle physical touch, such as tapping or holding, to help the person release the physical tension that is associated with the trauma. The therapist might also guide you through movements or exercises to help release the trauma from your body.

3. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) focuses on the triad relationship between thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. It is often used to treat anxiety and depression, but can also be effective in treating trauma. CBT will teach you how to identify negative thought patterns associated with your trauma. Then you will learn to challenge them, and then replace them with more realistic, positive, and adaptive ones. This can help you develop coping strategies and improve your overall well-being.

4. Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)

Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) was originally developed to treat borderline personality disorder. However, it has been found to be effective in treating other mental health disorders as well, including trauma. DBT focuses on helping you learn to regulate your emotions and develop more effective coping strategies. In DBT, your therapist will teach you how to identify the triggers that lead to emotional dysregulation. You will then learn and practice skills to help you manage your emotions. These skills may include mindfulness, distress tolerance, and interpersonal effectiveness.

So how do I determine which method is right for me?

Actually, you don’t need to choose just one! EMDR is not a standalone treatment for trauma. That means that it is often used in combination with other therapies. EMDR’s goal is to reduce traumatic memories’ intensity and associated negative beliefs. Thus, EMDR can make it easier for you to engage in other forms of therapy. Overall, there are many different therapeutic approaches to treating trauma, and no one approach is right for everyone. The best approach will depend on your individual needs, preferences, and experiences.

What are my next steps?

Whether you choose EMDR, CBT, DBT, SE, or another approach to treating trauma, the most important thing is to take that first step and seek help. If you are struggling with trauma or a trauma-related disorder, it’s important to seek help from a qualified mental health professional who can help you find the right treatment approach for you. As a psychologist, I appreciate when potential clients ask me about my qualifications to help them achieve their treatment goals! I hope this empowers you to ask the therapist you are considering working with about their level of experience and expertise in treating trauma in general and/or in a specific form of treatment.

Trauma can have a profound impact on a person’s life, but it doesn’t have to control it. With the help of a qualified mental health professional, you can develop the skills and strategies you need to heal from the effects of trauma and live a happier, more fulfilling life.

Don’t let trauma hold you back any longer – book an appointment with a psychologist today and start your journey towards healing and recovery. Your mental health and well-being are worth investing in, and there is no better time than now to take that first step towards a brighter future.

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ADHD, Testing and Assessment

ADHD Testing in Los Angeles: How to Choose the Right Psychologist and Get Accommodations You Need

Written by Here Counseling

ADHD Testing in Los Angeles: Finding the Right Psychologist

When it comes to ADHD testing in Los Angeles, it is essential to find the right psychologist who specializes in ADHD. However, finding this “ideal provider” can feel impossible. This can be a strenuous, challenging, and lengthy process. You may have already looked through dozens of psychologists’ profiles and feel like the process is never ending. You may be unsure of what to look for, feel overwhelmed, and be ready to give up. 

It is completely understandable if you feel this way. You are not alone. In fact, many of the patients who call me to book a testing session began the process of seeking an assessment provider weeks or even months ago, but found that they didn’t know where to look or what to ask for. The method to demystifying and streamlining this process is to know three key questions to ask each provider you speak with. When you get the right answers (which will be identified below), then you’ll be able to rest easy knowing that you’ve booked your assessment with the right provider. I’ll walk you through the questions you ought to ask, as well as clarifying the process by explaining how I approach testing for ADHD.

What Questions should I Ask?

There are a few key questions to ask any psychologist you are consulting with to consider booking for an assessment. These questions are based on a few key concept. First and foremost, it is most important to find a psychologist who has experience evaluating and treating ADHD. So is finding someone you feel you have strong rapport with who offers the methodology of testing you need. For instance, I specialize in ADHD testing and therapy and offer ADHD testing in Los Angeles in-person as well as anywhere across California virtually. The psychologist you work with should be able to explain their methods to you in a relatable, understandable manner so you feel confident about getting the testing you need.


Most psychologists offer a free, 15-minute consultation phone call. This gives you the opportunity to ask any questions you may have about the ADHD testing process. Here are some helpful questions you may with to ask to ensure you are working with the right psychologist.

Question #1: What is this Psychologist’s experience in ADHD Assessment; is ADHD their Area of Expertise?

You have a right to receive treatment from a provider who is well trained and highly experienced in ADHD. It can feel awkward to ask, but these sort of questions are so normal for us to hear as psychologists! Just as you likely wouldn’t want to fly on a pilot’s first flight with the airline, you don’t want to select a psychologist who is brand new to testing. Remember, assessment is a highly intricate skill that takes years of training (and a doctorate!) to gain experience in, let alone expertise. There are also countless diagnoses psychologists can be trained to assess for, so you want to make sure that the provider you select is specifically trained and experienced in ADHD.

Additionally, in case you build strong rapport with your psychologist and wish to obtain therapy for ADHD from them post-assessment, you’ll likely wish to ask about their methodology for providing therapy for patients with ADHD. Thus, consider some of the following questions when you consult with a provider:

  1. What is their experience assessing for ADHD?
  2. What is included in your report? Recommendations in a variety of contexts?
  3. Do they use evidence-based assessment tools and treatment methods?
  4. If your results show you do indeed have ADHD, what are the next steps they provide?
    • Do they help match you with a psychiatrist if you are interested in medication?
    • Do they offer therapy so you can continue working together? If so, what is their experience working with clients with ADHD? What is their typical treatment model?

Question #2: In-person versus Virtual ADHD Testing: Which is Right for me?

In-person and virtual ADHD testing are both effective options for identifying and treating ADHD. While some individuals may prefer the traditional in-person approach, virtual testing has become increasingly popular due to its convenience, accessibility, and flexibility. Virtual testing allows individuals to receive the same quality of care from the comfort of their own homes. Additionally, it helps avoid the hassle of transportation and scheduling conflicts.

Benefits and Drawbacks of Virtual ADHD Testing in Los Angeles

Virtual ADHD testing offers a variety of benefits. This includes the ability to meet with a qualified provider from anywhere, reduced wait times, no commute, and increased privacy. It is important to work with a provider who is highly experienced in conducting ADHD assessments virtually to ensure accurate results.

If you are seeking ADHD testing because you feel you would benefit from accommodations, check with your employer or school to ensure that virtual testing qualifies you. While I have never had a client’s assessment not qualify them for all necessary accommodations, it is no problem to administer some or all of the assessment in-person.

Question #3: What Accommodations do I Need and can this Psychologist Provide them if I am Diagnosed?

As a psychologist who specializes in therapy and testing for ADHD, I understand the challenges that individuals with ADHD face in various aspects of their lives. The good news is that there are accommodations available to help individuals with ADHD achieve success in numerous contexts, including work, school, and standardized testing. If you meet the diagnostic criteria for ADHD, you will qualify for numerous of these accommodations.

Brief Assessments do not qualify you for accommodations

When it comes to standardized testing, accommodations may include extra time, breaks, separate testing rooms, and the use of a calculator or other assistive technology. Notably, to qualify for testing accommodations, individuals with ADHD must provide documentation from a psychologist that confirms their diagnosis. This documentation must demonstrate the extensive nature of the assessment they underwent to ascertain that they meet diagnostic criteria. Thus, brief assessments do not qualify.

In the workplace, individuals with ADHD may benefit from numerous specific accommodations. This can include flexible work hours, the ability to take frequent breaks, and the use of noise-canceling headphones to minimize distractions. Employers may also allow for written instructions, provide regular feedback, and use visual aids to help individuals with ADHD stay on task.

In schools, accommodations may include extra time for tests, preferential seating, and access to assistive technology such as laptops or tablets. Students with ADHD may also benefit from receiving notes and outlines to help them stay organized and focused, as well as the option to take tests in a distraction-free environment.

Question #4: What about Cheaper Options Mass-Advertised Online, like Cerebral for ADHD Testing in Los Angeles?

I am adding this fourth question because, while it is not one you need to ask providers you consult with, it is a question I hear a lot and feel could be beneficial to cover here. Cheaper online options that offer “ADHD testing with therapists” such as Cerebral often do not qualify you for these accommodations. They may qualify you for non-stimulant medications, such as anti-depressants, but not for ADHD stimulants such as Adderall. Many such sites do not offer optional follow-up therapeutic appointments either.

Such online options do not qualify you for accommodations

Most organizations, including workplaces, schools, and standardized testing, do not accept assessments from these sites due to how brief/non-thorough the assessments can be, their lack of empirical evidence (e.g.: using screeners that have not been proven to be valid and reliable in empirical trials) and, at times, under-qualified assessors. Remember to ask the psychologist you are considering booking an assessment with about their qualifications, training, experience, and which accommodations your assessment results will qualify you for if they reveal that you meed diagnostic criteria for ADHD.

We offer ADHD testing that qualifies you for accommodations

Learn About ADHD Testing
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ADHD, Testing and Assessment

Diagnosed with ADHD? How to Make the Most of the Results of Your ADHD Testing

Written by Here Counseling

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is a common neurodevelopmental disorder that is often diagnosed in childhood. However, it can persist into adulthood and may not be recognized until later in life. If you are looking for ADHD testing in Los Angeles or have recently received a diagnosis of ADHD as an adult, you may feel unsure of where to turn next. While it’s natural to feel overwhelmed or confused, it’s also important to remember that there is help and support available.

How to Cope with Being Diagnosed with ADHD as an Adult

Seek Support

It’s important to have a supportive network of friends and loved ones at this time. They can provide emotional support and help you navigate the challenges of a new diagnosis. Consider joining a support group or connecting with others who have received a diagnosis of ADHD later in life. Your psychologist can help you find the right group therapy for you.

Learn about ADHD

Knowledge is power, and it can be helpful to learn as much as you can about ADHD and how it affects your life. This can help you understand your symptoms and develop strategies for managing them.

There is A LOT of misinformation on the internet and social media about ADHD. Click here to read my last blog to learn more about common ADHD myths debunked. This includes erroneous symptoms that mask other diagnosis, which are incorrectly attributed to ADHD. Make sure you use reliable and verified sources. Working with a psychologist with extensive experience and expertise in ADHD will help you ensure you are getting the best care from a qualified professional.

Ask your psychologist about their experience working with people with ADHD. What is their training? What is their experience administering ADHD assessments? If you are seeking diagnostic clarity about other diagnoses too, ask them how they consider other such diagnoses. What is their experience assessing for the other diagnoses you are considering (such as learning disorders, Autism Spectrum Disorder, Anxiety, Depression, Bipolar Disorder, etc.)? What do they incorporate into therapy for ADHD?

Seek Treatment: Therapy for ADHD & ADHD Testing in Los Angeles

Therapy for ADHD

Therapy can be effective in managing symptoms and improving daily functioning. This may include medication, therapy, or a combination of both. It’s important to work with a qualified mental health professional to determine the best treatment approach for you. As I explored in a previous blog (https://herecounseling.com/adhd-comorbid-diagnoses-may-be-affecting-your-focus/) , ADHD commonly goes hand-in-hand with other diagnoses. Thus, ask the psychologist you intend to seek ADHD testing or therapy how they integrate treatment of BOTH (or multiple) diagnoses into your tailored therapy. 

ADHD Testing in Los Angeles

Are you are interested in ADHD testing in Los Angeles (in-person or virtual) or therapy for ADHD? If so, you can request a complimentary consult with me today to discuss your options and learn about what the ADHD testing process looks like.

To learn more about the cutting-edge science psychologists are researching to discover new forms of treatment for ADHD, check out the amazing work UCLA’s Semel Institute is producing to help aid adults with ADHD: click here.

Practice Self-Compassion

It’s natural to feel frustrated or overwhelmed after receiving a diagnosis of ADHD later in life. It’s important to practice self-compassion and remind yourself that you are not alone and that there is help available.

Set Realistic Goals

Having ADHD can impact your ability to meet certain goals, and it’s important to be realistic about what you can accomplish. It can be helpful to work with a therapist or coach to develop strategies for setting and achieving goals that are realistic and achievable.

      Next Steps: Therapy for ADHD & ADHD Testing in Los Angeles

      Receiving a diagnosis of ADHD later in life can be a challenging and emotional experience, but it’s important to remember that you are not alone and that there is help available. By seeking support, learning about ADHD, seeking treatment (ADHD testing and/or therapy), practicing self-compassion, and setting realistic goals, you can learn to manage your symptoms and live a fulfilling life. So, take the next step towards ADHD testing and/or therapy to learn how to successfully cope with, manage, and alleviate your symptoms. Click this link to schedule a free 15-minute consultation with me today.

      Dr. Shannon Thomas

      I help adults and couples learn to thrive emotionally, vocationally, and relationally. I offer therapy for ADHD, anxiety, and relationship issues.

      Learn more about Shannon
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