What happens in a free therapy consultation? It’s a short call, about 15 minutes, before any therapy starts. It isn’t therapy yet. It’s a low-pressure talk about what’s going on, what you want your life to look like, and whether this therapist feels like someone you can open up to. At the end, you decide whether to book a first session.
I’m Connor McClenahan, a licensed psychologist and director of Here Counseling in Pasadena. I want to walk you through how I handle that first call: what a therapist will ask you, what it might feel like, and what to listen for at the end. If you’re ready now, you can book a free 15-minute call.
What does a therapist ask in a free consultation?
A lot of people freeze when a therapist asks, “So what brings you in?” You don’t need a polished answer. Here’s what we’re really asking, and why.
1. What’s been going on?
First we ask about what’s been hard. Questions like: How long has this been going on? How bad does it get? What’s the hardest it’s ever been? What have you already tried, and how did that go? I think of this as the shape of the problem: where it shows up in your life, where it doesn’t, and how long it lasts. That shape tells a therapist whether they have experience with what you’re facing and what the work might involve.
2. What do you want your life to look like?
After talking about the problem for a bit, most people start describing what they wish life could be like. That’s the second half of the call. If therapy helped, how would your life be different? Your answer becomes the starting point for your goals.
3. How would we work together?
Then the therapist explains how they might work with what you’ve described, what a session feels like, and how often you’d meet. This is a good time for your own questions: Do you take my insurance? What is your fee? How often would we meet? How long do you expect the work to take? If it feels like a fit, the call can end with finding a weekly time that works for both of you and scheduling a first session.
| Part of the call | What the therapist asks | What you can listen for |
|---|---|---|
| The problem | How long, how bad, what you’ve tried | Do I feel safe saying this out loud? |
| Your goals | How would life be different if therapy helped? | Does this person get what I want? |
| Next steps | How often, what sessions are like, a time that works | Do I want to keep talking to this person? |
What should you listen for on the call?
The most important thing to notice is how you feel talking with them. Is this a person you can trust and open up to? Do you want to keep talking? Research suggests the relationship with your therapist has a lot to do with how much therapy helps (Flückiger and colleagues, 2018). Research also suggests this holds across many kinds of therapy, so the fit is worth paying attention to. For more on this, see our guide on how to pick a therapist who fits.
For some people, reaching out is the hardest call they’ll make. You’re opening up to a stranger. Most therapists know that, and they want to help you feel comfortable. If you’d rather not call a stranger out of the blue, our therapist matcher suggests therapists to consider.
How do you know it’s time to talk to someone?
- The same worry or feeling keeps coming back for weeks.
- It’s getting in the way of work, sleep, or the people you love.
- What you’ve tried on your own isn’t helping much anymore.
- You notice you’re carrying something you haven’t told anyone.
Not sure what’s on your mind yet? Our list of 100 reflective therapy questions can help you put words to it before the call.
If you’re thinking about hurting yourself or about suicide, call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline) any time, or call 911 in an emergency.
Frequently asked questions
No. The free 15-minute call is a short, low-pressure talk about what’s going on, what you want, and whether the fit feels right. Therapy starts at the first session, if you decide to book one.
Usually what brings you in, how long it’s been going on, how hard it gets, what you’ve tried, and how you’d like life to be different. Then you can ask about insurance, fees, and times.
Notice how you feel talking with them. Ask yourself: Can I trust this person and open up to them? Do I want to keep talking? That sense of fit is worth paying attention to.
No. You don’t need a polished answer. The therapist will usually ask questions to guide the talk, and it’s fine to say you’re not sure where to start.
Start with a free 15-minute call
Reaching out for help is a big step, and it’s OK if it feels scary. We see clients in person at Suite 629 in the Playhouse District in Pasadena, and by video anywhere in California. Book a free 15-minute call, or find a match with our therapist matcher.
