Teen girl achieving success in school due to proven ADHD strategies
Managing emotions, Parenting

Screen Time Cripples Teen Girls’ Mental Health: How to Replace Social Media with Belonging

Written by Addy Sonneland

Imagine your teenage daughter scrolling endlessly on her phone late into the night, her face lit by the glow, but her mood darkening with each swipe. She seems more withdrawn, anxious about school or friends, and you’re left wondering if all that time online is taking a toll. If this scenario feels familiar, you’re not alone—many parents in Pasadena notice these shifts as screen time rises. Research increasingly links excessive screen use to mental health struggles in adolescent girls, from heightened depression to disrupted sleep.

In this post, we’ll explore research findings on screen time’s impact, categorize the top 3 negative effects on teenage girls with real examples, overview proven strategies to limit it, and highlight studies on replacing screens with in-person activities for positive change. Drawing from experts like Gabor Maté on trauma and disconnection, this can lead to less worry at home and healthier teens—let’s get started.

Research Findings on Screen Time’s Impact on Adolescent Girls’ Mental Health

Recent studies paint a concerning yet hopeful picture: Excessive screen time correlates with poorer mental health in teens, particularly girls, but awareness opens doors to change. As a parent watching your daughter navigate this digital world, it’s natural to feel a mix of worry and determination—let’s unpack what the data shows.

Key Studies Linking Screen Time to Mental Health Risks

A June 2025 APA study found each hour of screen time boosts depressive symptoms severity in adolescents, like a slow-building storm cloud over their emotional skies. CDC research from July 2025 linked high screen use to worse health outcomes, including mental distress, painting a vivid image of teens trapped in a cycle of scrolling and sadness. A 2025 meta-analysis showed screen time positively associated with depressive, anxiety, and stress symptoms, reminding us how these devices, meant to connect, can sometimes isolate our kids in invisible ways.

Girls’ Heightened Vulnerability in Screen Time Research

Girls appear more vulnerable: A UCSF study noted preteens with more screens face higher depression/anxiety later, especially girls, as if the constant comparisons act like mirrors distorting their self-view. Pew’s 2025 report tied social media to teen mental health woes, with girls reporting more negative impacts, evoking the heartache of seeing your daughter dim her light to match filtered ideals. Maté aligns this with healing emotional wounds through presence, fostering resilience against hypervigilance from rejection fears, offering hope that mindful interventions can turn the tide.

Broader Implications from Screen Time Studies

Overall, while moderate use may aid learning, over 2-3 hours daily—especially social media—heightens risks, per a 2025 BMC study, like a gentle stream turning into a raging river that erodes emotional stability. Girls show stronger links due to social comparison and cyberbullying. Maté warns, “Screens displace vital bonds,” compounding trauma through isolation, but this also highlights the power of real-world connections to rebuild what feels lost.

Top 3 Negative Impacts of Screen Time on Teenage Girls

From the research, three key negative impacts stand out for teenage girls, often more pronounced due to social dynamics. Here’s a breakdown with examples—think of these as warning signs, like storm clouds gathering, signaling it’s time for supportive action:

ImpactDescription & Examples
1. Increased Depression & Suicidal ThoughtsExcessive screens, especially social media, correlate with higher depressive symptoms and suicide risk in girls. A 2025 study found girls using phones 5+ hours/day 71% more likely for suicidal thoughts. Examples: Constant comparisons lead to low self-worth; one X parent shared, “My daughter cries over Instagram ‘perfect lives’—now she’s withdrawn and talks negatively about herself.” Maté links this to disconnection: “Trauma is…disconnection from ourselves,” fueled by virtual validation over real bonds.
2. Heightened Anxiety & StressScreens boost anxiety symptoms, with girls showing stronger associations. A 2025 analysis linked screen time to stress/depression in adolescents. Examples: FOMO from feeds causes restlessness; Reddit parents report, “My teen girl panics over unread messages, leading to sleep loss and school avoidance.” Maté notes addictive use as self-soothing gone awry, worsening emotional regulation.
3. Disrupted Sleep & Emotional ProblemsScreens interfere with sleep, linking to mood issues; a 2025 study showed addictive use triples suicide risk via poor rest. Examples: Late-night scrolling causes fatigue/irritability; X discussions highlight “grumpy mornings from TikTok binges.” Maté emphasizes this as compounding trauma through isolation: “High screen time…increases severity of depressive symptoms.”

These impacts create vicious cycles. Screens displace real interactions, deepening disconnection—Maté warns, “Close relationships are the center of a happy life,” yet screens often sabotage them.

Proven Strategies to Limit Screen Time Effectively in Teens

To counter these effects, parents can adopt research-backed strategies for limiting screen time, focusing on balance and alternatives. These approaches emphasize family involvement and positive replacements, creating a nurturing environment where teens feel supported rather than restricted.

Establish Family Agreements on Screen Limits

Set daily guidelines collaboratively, like 1-2 hours non-educational use, using apps for enforcement. A WHO report shows this aids mental health by reducing exposure. Maté supports: “Mindful limits foster presence.”

Make sure boundaries on screen time are co-created. Limits set by parents and communicated unilaterally to teens can create a power struggle filled with resentments. To avoid conflict, yet still create change, try including your teen in creating the screen time boundary:

  1. Present the problem. Tell your teen about the problem you see with the current arrangement with screens. Present the problem in light of your desire for their happiness and growth. For example, you might say, “I notice that you don’t do your normal hobbies after school much because of screens get in the way, then you get irritable when later you don’t have time to do these things that are really life-giving to you.”
  2. Connect with their goal. Ask your teen about how they feel about screen usage and if they were to make a change, what benefit it might have for them.
  3. Tell them your goal. Align with their goal while also stating what you’d like to change: “I agree and want you to grow in that way too. I feel it’s time we make a change with screen time so we can get there.
  4. Enlist their help. “Before I create a boundary, I thought I could get your ideas about the easiest way we could make a good change. What ideas do you have on how we could do screens differently that would make room for your hobbies and friends?”
  5. Negotiate. It’s ok to not just take their first idea. If it feels too mild or unrealistic, it can be intellectually engaging and respectful of their autonomy to be honest about concerns or questions you have, so they can adjust their idea with you: “Well I’m worried if we just limit screen usage after 9pm, we’re not making a change in the part of the day when it counts the most. How can we adjust it?”
  6. Make it pragmatic. Create a boundary that’s easy to remember and easy to enforce. Simple is better. Make a reminder next week on your calendar to check in about the new boundary and see what adjustments you need to make together.

Create Tech-Free Zones and Times

Designate bedrooms/meals as screen-free to improve sleep and interactions. Studies link this to lower anxiety; BMC research confirms reduced emotional distress. Imagine family dinners becoming warm havens of conversation, where laughter replaces notifications, helping your teen unwind naturally.

Model Healthy Screen Habits

Parents limiting their use sets examples—Pew notes teens mirror adults, aiding regulation. Encourage discussions on media’s “perfection” to combat comparison. Picture evenings where everyone plugs in devices together, modeling balance and opening doors to heartfelt talks about the day’s highs and lows.

Promote Offline Hobbies and Monitoring

Introduce sports/arts; BMC studies show exercise mitigates harms. Monitor content gently to address cyber issues. Envision your daughter trading scrolls for a dance class, her energy channeled into joy, with you cheering from the sidelines—small steps fostering resilience and fun.

Positive Outcomes from Replacing Screen Time with In-Person Activities for Girls

Research shows swapping screens for in-person activities markedly improves mental health, especially for girls, like sunlight breaking through clouds after a storm. A 2020 UBC study found teens (including girls) with more extracurriculars and less screen time had better mental health, reducing depression by promoting belonging. A 2022 UK study linked replacing screens with exercise to lowered emotional distress in teens, with girls showing greater benefits from social bonds, evoking the warmth of real friendships over digital likes.

A PLoS One meta-analysis noted “green time” (outdoor social activities) countered screen harms, improving well-being in adolescents by fostering real connections, as if nurturing a garden where self-esteem blooms. For girls, in-person interactions mitigate comparison anxiety from social media—Maté notes this rebuilds self-connection: “Screens displace vital bonds.” Examples: Group sports reduced loneliness in a BMC study, with girls reporting 50% less depressive symptoms, painting a vivid scene of laughter on the field replacing solitary scrolls.

Guidelines for Implementing Screen Limits and Replacements Step-by-Step

To apply this with care, approach as a team effort, like guiding your daughter through a foggy path toward clearer skies:

  1. Assess Usage: Track screen time family-wide—discuss impacts openly, perhaps over ice cream, to make it feel supportive rather than accusatory.
  2. Set Boundaries: Agree on limits (e.g., no phones at dinner); introduce in-person alternatives like family walks, starting small to build enthusiasm.
  3. Monitor & Adjust: Use apps for enforcement; celebrate successes with group activities like board games, adjusting based on her feedback to ensure it feels collaborative.

Screen time’s toll on girls’ mental health is real, but limits and social replacements offer hope, like planting seeds for a brighter future. At Here Counseling in Pasadena, we help families navigate this through somatic therapy for embodied healing, addressing disconnection with warmth and tools tailored to your teen’s needs.

Ready to support your teen? Contact Here Counseling today—healthier habits await.

FAQ: Screen Time Impact on Adolescent Girls’ Mental Health

What is screen time’s impact on adolescent girls’ mental health?

Excessive screen time correlates with higher depression, anxiety, and sleep issues in girls; studies show social media amplifies comparison and stress.

Negative effects of screen time on teenage girls?

Top effects include increased depression/suicide risk, anxiety/stress, and disrupted sleep/emotional problems; research links 2+ hours daily to worsened symptoms.

How to limit screen time for teens?

Set family agreements on daily limits, create tech-free zones, and model behavior; encourage hobbies to replace screens effectively.

Benefits of replacing screen time with in-person activities?

Replacing screens with social activities reduces depression and boosts well-being; studies show extracurriculars cut emotional distress in teens.

Seek therapy if symptoms like persistent anxiety or withdrawal last over 2 weeks or disrupt daily life; early intervention prevents escalation.

Certified Somatic Therapy in Pasadena
Addy Sonneland, Somatic Therapy

Hi, I’m Addy. I work with teens and families to break cycles of anxiety, conflict, and miscommunication. Helping teens heal from anxiety means working on more than just thoughts—it’s also about teaching their bodies to feel safe and regulated. Using somatic therapy techniques, I guide teens in noticing and shifting what’s happening inside, so they can break free from old patterns and discover their innate strengths. We work together with their families to create new ways of relating and supporting each other, building patterns that serve them for a lifetime of confidence, resilience, and connection.

Learn more about teen therapy with Addy

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Anxiety, Managing emotions, Parenting, Somatic Exercises

Your Teen Overwhelmed by Back-to-School Anxiety? 3 Signs, 3 Parenting Pitfalls, and 3 Ways to Help Your Teen Succeed

Written by Addy Sonneland

Picture your teen pacing the kitchen the night before school starts, clutching their stomach and snapping at small questions, their usual spark dimmed by worry. As summer ends and routines resume in Pasadena, anxiety surges, overwhelming many adolescents with restlessness or tears. Back-to-school transitions stir deep fears in teens, from social pressures to academic demands.

In this post, we’ll explore 3 common symptoms teens show from back-to-school anxiety, explaining each with real examples and internal dynamics via interpersonal neurobiology and adolescent development research. Then, we’ll cover common parent missteps that heighten anxiety and effective strategies to support without removing stressors. Understanding these can lead to less tension at home and more resilient kids—let’s begin.

Sign #1: Physical Complaints Signal Back-to-School Anxiety

Parents often notice teens complaining of headaches, stomachaches, or muscle tension as school approaches, turning mornings into battles of persuasion. One Reddit parent shared, “My 13-year-old woke up with stomach cramps every day last week, saying ‘I can’t face school’—it’s clearly nerves about new teachers.” Social media posts describe “teens faking sick to skip the bus,” with symptoms like nausea peaking during back-to-school prep, disrupting family flow. These physical signs can linger into afternoons, with teens rubbing temples or curling up, signaling deep unease.

These bodily responses reflect a nervous system on high alert. Anxiety triggers the body’s stress response, releasing cortisol that manifests as pain. This is partially because the brain’s prefrontal cortex, responsible for regulation, is still maturing. Research from a 2023 CDC study shows 1 in 3 teens experience somatic symptoms from school-related stress, as the developing brain prioritizes survival over comfort. Internally, they’re wrestling with perceived threats—new social hierarchies or academic rigor—needing a safe outlet to process.

Sign #2: Avoidance Behaviors Reflect School Anxiety Struggles

Some teens resist attending school, faking illness or begging to stay home, transforming daily routines into emotional standoffs. A parent on Reddit detailed, “My 15-year-old refuses to get out of bed, claiming ‘I’m too sick’—it’s really panic about cliques and tests every morning.” X examples include “teens melting down at drop-off,” with avoidance escalating to missed days, leaving parents torn between discipline and concern. This can extend to avoiding homework or social events, creating a ripple of tension.

From an interpersonal neurobiology lens, avoidance stems from the amygdala hijacking the brain’s executive functions, perceiving school as a danger zone due to unfamiliarity or past bullying. Adolescent development research from a 2023 McLean Hospital study indicates hormonal shifts heighten this fight-or-flight response in 5-10% of anxious teens, as the still-developing prefrontal cortex struggles to override fear. Internally, they’re stuck in a loop of dread, needing a bridge back to safety without force.

Sign #3: Irritability Means Hidden Back-to-School Anxiety

Anxiety often surfaces as irritability, with teens snapping at siblings or parents over trivial issues, disrupting home harmony. One Reddit parent recounted, “My 14-year-old explodes after school—yelling about homework or a messy room, but it’s really ‘what if I fail?’ fears spilling out.” Social media posts describe “teens slamming doors post-bus,” with daily “mood swings” from unspoken worries, leaving families navigating a minefield of emotions.

Interpersonally, this reflects an immature emotional regulation system, where the limbic system’s reactivity outpaces prefrontal control, per a 2023 APA study noting a 30% rise in teen irritability during school transitions. Developmentally, puberty’s hormonal surge amplifies this, turning anxiety into a pressure cooker that bursts with frustration. Internally, they’re overwhelmed by new demands, needing a release valve for pent-up stress.

Common Parent Missteps That Worsen Teen Anxiety Symptoms

Well-meaning parents can unintentionally heighten teen anxiety through reactive or protective responses, creating unintended harm. These missteps often stem from a desire to alleviate distress but end up reinforcing dependency or fear.

1. Over-Functioning and Babying Teens

Taking over tasks like completing homework or driving them to avoid school amplifies reliance, as a 2023 Mott Children’s study found 25% increased dependence when parents over-function. For example, a parent might say, “I’ll do your project—don’t worry,” leaving the teen feeling incapable, deepening anxiety about facing challenges alone.

2. Becoming Cold and Punitive

Responding with harshness, like “Stop whining and go to school!” triggers more fear, per a 2023 Bryson-led study showing 40% increased dysregulation with punishment. A parent might ground a teen for avoidance, escalating tension—imagine a teen retreating further, feeling rejected instead of supported.

3. Ignoring Emotional Cues

Dismissing complaints with “It’s just nerves, get over it” invalidates their experience, per a 2024 AACAP report linking ignored emotions to 30% higher stress. For instance, brushing off a stomachache might push a teen to bottle up fears, worsening internal chaos.

These pitfalls trap teens in anxiety loops, where overprotection or punishment erodes their ability to self-regulate, leaving parents frustrated and teens more overwhelmed.

Effective Parent Strategies to Support Anxious Teens Without Removing Stressors

Instead of fixing problems, parents can empower teens to navigate anxiety with supportive strategies, fostering resilience and independence while maintaining safety.

1. Offer a Calm Presence for Emotional Regulation

Be a steady anchor, modeling deep breaths during overwhelm to integrate their nervous system—try “Let’s breathe together when it feels big.” A 2024 Compass Health study shows 40% reduced avoidance with this co-regulation, helping teens feel secure to face school.

2. Validate Feelings and Co-Create Solutions

Sit with their emotions, saying “This is tough—how can we tackle it?” to co-create plans, per a 2024 AACAP guide cutting stress by 30% with autonomy. For example, brainstorm a morning checklist together, giving them ownership while easing transition fears.

3. Encourage Structured Outlets for Expression

Guide them to outlets like journaling or sports, offering “Want to write it out or kick a ball?” A 2024 Cedars-Sinai report notes 35% fewer outbursts with structured release, building skills to process anxiety independently.

Parenting StrategyExampleEffect on ChildReference
Offer a Calm Presence“Let’s take deep breaths when you feel overwhelmed about school.”40% reduced avoidance2024 Compass Health study
Validate Feelings and Co-Create“I see you’re worried—let’s plan your morning together.”30% stress reduction2024 AACAP guide
Encourage Structured Outlets“Want to journal or play soccer to unwind after school?”35% fewer outbursts2024 Cedars-Sinai study
Over-Functioning and Babying“I’ll do your project—don’t worry.”25% increased dependence2023 Mott Children’s study
Becoming Cold and Punitive“Stop whining and go to school!”40% increased dysregulation2023 Bryson-led study
Ignoring Emotional Cues“It’s just nerves, get over it.”30% higher stress2024 AACAP report

Guidelines for Seeking Therapy: When Teen Anxiety Warrants Professional Support

Normal anxiety fades; persistent symptoms need attention. Seek therapy if: Symptoms last over 2 weeks, disrupting school or sleep (e.g., refusal, insomnia); physical complaints persist; or self-harm thoughts emerge, per 2023 AACAP guidelines. Early intervention prevents escalation—Pasadena therapists like Here Counseling offer specialized support.

Supporting Teen Transitions: Therapy Eases Back-to-School Anxiety

These challenges are growth opportunities—understanding fosters empathy. At Here Counseling in Pasadena, we help families through somatic therapy for calm integration.

Ready to support your teen? Contact Here Counseling today—brighter days await.

FAQ: Teen Back-to-School Anxiety Symptoms

What are common anxiety symptoms in teens returning to school?

Common symptoms include physical complaints, avoidance behaviors, and irritability; they arise from anxiety overwhelming the nervous system during transitions.

How does anxiety cause physical symptoms in teens?

Anxiety triggers bodily distress like headaches as the nervous system overreacts; research shows this peaks during school stress, needing calm support to ease.

Why do anxious teens avoid school?

Avoidance stems from anxiety viewing school as a threat; developmental studies link this to fear responses, eased by gradual exposure with empathy.

What causes teen irritability from school anxiety?

Irritability is anxiety’s overflow from stress; adolescent brain changes amplify this, requiring patience and outlets to restore balance.

When to seek therapy for teen back-to-school anxiety?

Seek therapy if symptoms persist 2+ weeks, disrupt daily life, or include self-harm; early help like counseling prevents escalation per AACAP guidelines.

Certified Somatic Therapy in Pasadena
Addy Sonneland, Somatic Therapy

Hi, I’m Addy. I work with teens and families to break cycles of anxiety. Helping teens heal from anxiety means working on more than just thoughts—it’s also about teaching their bodies to feel safe and regulated. Using somatic therapy techniques, I guide teens in noticing and shifting what’s happening inside, so they can break free from old patterns and discover their innate strengths. We work together with their families to create new ways of relating and supporting each other, building patterns that serve them for a lifetime of confidence, resilience, and connection.

Learn more about teen therapy with Addy

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Anxiety, Healthy Relationships, Neurology, Parenting, Podcast

Attachment Styles: How to Heal the Hidden Lens Shaping Your Relationships

Written by Connor McClenahan

Attachment styles profoundly impact the way you view yourself and your world.

Have you ever wondered why you react the way you do in relationships? Whether it’s a romantic partnership, a friendship, or even a professional connection, the way you form and maintain bonds with others is deeply influenced by something you may not even be aware of: your attachment style. Rooted in early childhood experiences, attachment styles act as a lens through which we view and navigate our relationships. This lens can either clarify or distort how we connect with others, often without us realizing it.

In this article, we’ll explore what attachment styles are, why they matter, and how they impact your life as an adult. We’ll also discuss practical ways to move toward a more secure way of relating to others. By understanding your attachment style, you can gain valuable insights into your relational patterns and take steps to build healthier, more fulfilling connections.

What Are Attachment Styles and Why Do They Matter?

Attachment styles are patterns of behavior, emotion, and thinking that we develop in early childhood based on our interactions with primary caregivers—typically our parents. These patterns form a template for how we approach relationships throughout our lives. The concept of attachment was first introduced by British psychologist John Bowlby, who observed that the bonds formed between children and their caregivers have a profound impact on emotional development and relational behavior.

At its core, attachment is about survival. Human beings are wired to seek safety and security through social bonds. Our brains, particularly the prefrontal cortex, evolved to help us form secure tribes or communities where we feel protected and valued. This need for connection doesn’t fade as we grow older; it simply shifts from parents to peers, partners, and colleagues. However, the way we learned to attach as children continues to influence how we seek and maintain these connections as adults.

Understanding your attachment style is crucial because it affects every relationship you have. It shapes how you handle conflict, express emotions, and perceive the availability of support from others. Fortunately, attachment styles are not set in stone. With self-awareness and effort, you can move toward a more secure way of relating to the world.

The Four Main Attachment Styles

Researchers have identified four primary attachment styles: secure, avoidant, anxious, and disorganized. Each style reflects a different way of perceiving and responding to closeness and emotional needs in relationships.

Secure Attachment: The Foundation of Healthy Relationships

People with a secure attachment style feel comfortable with intimacy and independence. They trust that others will be there for them when needed and are confident in their ability to navigate challenges. In childhood, securely attached individuals typically had caregivers who were responsive, attuned, and consistent in meeting their emotional needs. As adults, they tend to form stable, trusting relationships and are skilled at balancing their own needs with those of others.

Avoidant Attachment: The Struggle with Emotional Closeness

Avoidant attachment develops when caregivers are emotionally distant or dismissive of a child’s needs. As a result, individuals with this style learn to suppress their emotions and rely heavily on self-sufficiency. They often view asking for help as a weakness and may feel uncomfortable with too much closeness. In adult relationships, avoidantly attached people can appear independent and self-reliant, but they may struggle to form deep emotional bonds and often feel isolated.

Anxious Attachment: The Fear of Abandonment

Anxious attachment arises when caregivers are inconsistent—sometimes attentive, sometimes unavailable. This unpredictability leads to heightened anxiety about relationships. Anxiously attached individuals often crave closeness but fear that others will abandon them. They may become overly dependent on their partners, constantly seeking reassurance and validation. In adult relationships, this can manifest as clinginess, jealousy, or difficulty trusting that their partner truly cares.

Disorganized Attachment: The Impact of Chaos and Trauma

Disorganized attachment is the most complex and often stems from traumatic or abusive experiences in childhood. Caregivers in these situations may have been a source of fear rather than comfort, leaving the child confused and without a clear strategy for seeking safety. As adults, individuals with disorganized attachment may exhibit a mix of anxious and avoidant behaviors, often feeling overwhelmed by their emotions and struggling to maintain stable relationships.

How Attachment Styles Impact Adult Relationships

Your attachment style doesn’t just stay in childhood—it follows you into adulthood, influencing how you interact with others in profound ways. Here’s how each style typically manifests in adult relationships:

  • Secure Attachment: Securely attached adults are generally confident in their relationships. They communicate openly, handle conflict constructively, and trust their partners. They are also comfortable with vulnerability, which allows them to form deep, meaningful connections.
  • Avoidant Attachment: Adults with avoidant attachment often prioritize independence over intimacy. They may avoid emotional discussions, struggle to express their feelings, and distance themselves when relationships become too close. This can lead to feelings of loneliness or dissatisfaction, even in otherwise healthy relationships.
  • Anxious Attachment: Anxiously attached individuals tend to be hyper-vigilant about their relationships. They may overanalyze their partner’s words and actions, constantly seeking proof of love and commitment. This can create tension, as their need for reassurance may feel overwhelming to their partners.
  • Disorganized Attachment: Those with disorganized attachment often experience intense emotional highs and lows in relationships. They may oscillate between seeking closeness and pushing others away, driven by a deep fear of rejection or harm. This unpredictability can make it difficult to maintain long-term, stable partnerships.

It’s important to note that attachment styles exist on a spectrum. You may recognize elements of more than one style in yourself, and that’s perfectly normal. The goal isn’t to fit neatly into a category but to understand how your attachment history influences your current relationships.

Moving Toward Secure Attachment: Strategies for Growth

The good news is that attachment styles are not fixed. With self-awareness and intentional effort, you can develop a more secure way of relating to others. Here are some strategies to help you on that journey:

1. Cultivate Self-Awareness

The first step toward change is understanding your attachment style and how it affects your relationships. Reflect on your emotional responses, especially in moments of conflict or stress. Ask yourself: Do I tend to withdraw when I’m upset? Do I constantly worry about being abandoned? Recognizing these patterns is key to interrupting them.

2. Practice Emotional Vulnerability

Secure attachment requires the ability to express your emotions openly and honestly. If you’re avoidantly attached, this might mean pushing yourself to share your feelings, even when it feels uncomfortable. If you’re anxiously attached, it might involve learning to sit with uncertainty without seeking immediate reassurance.

3. Seek Support from Trusted Relationships

Healing attachment wounds often happens in the context of safe, supportive relationships. Whether it’s a friend, partner, or therapist, having someone who can listen without judgment allows you to explore your fears and vulnerabilities. Over time, these experiences can help you build a more secure internal template for relationships.

4. Engage in Therapy or Counseling

Therapy can be a powerful tool for addressing attachment-related challenges. A skilled therapist can help you process past experiences, develop healthier relational patterns, and practice new ways of connecting with others. Modalities like attachment-based therapy or emotionally focused therapy (EFT) are particularly effective for this purpose.

5. Be Patient and Compassionate with Yourself

Changing deeply ingrained attachment patterns takes time. It’s normal to experience setbacks along the way, but each step forward is progress. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a close friend. Remember, the goal is not perfection but growth.

The Power of Understanding Your Attachment Style

Attachment styles are a fundamental part of what makes us human, shaping how we connect, love, and navigate the world. By understanding your attachment style, you gain a powerful tool for self-awareness and relational growth. Whether you identify as securely attached or recognize elements of insecurity in your patterns, know that change is possible. With patience, reflection, and support, you can move toward a more secure way of being—one that allows you to form deeper, more fulfilling relationships.

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parenting
Parenting

When Kids Exhaust You, You Deserve the Best Care: How to be Supported, Empowered, and Less Alone as a Parent

Written by Here Counseling

“Parents who feel pushed to the brink deserve more than platitudes. They need tangible support.”

-Dr. Vivek Murthy, U.S. Surgeon General

parenting

The basic activities required of parenting, such as keeping your kids safe and healthy, can feel like a heavy burden. But, add to that feelings of exhaustion, financial strain, relationship friction, and unrealistic expectations, you can find yourself burning out and closing in. When parents are pushed to the edge, there is a tendency to isolate – but actually they should be doing the opposite. Here are some do’s and dont’s for when parenting gets tough.

parenting is exhausting, but you don't have to be alone

The United States Surgeon General, Dr. Vivek H. Murthy, recently announced that he was issuing an advisory to “call attention to the stress and mental health concerns facing parents and caregivers.” In his Op Ed in the New York Times, he cited a recent study by the American Psychological Association, which states that 48% of parents indicate that their stress levels are regularly overwhelming.

Reach out, don’t close up

A great way to relieve yourself of doubt, get an understanding ear, and share concerns is to talk with other parents! All parents, at one time or another, question their parenting skills, instincts, and choices. It’s normal and healthy to wonder if there are other ways to address sticky situations within the family. In Los Angeles, there are a myriad of parent groups with topics as specific as post-partum support circles, foster/adopt process groups, parenting teens groups, grieving fathers groups, or movement healing circles. If you have a concern around parenting, there’s a group out there for it!

Ask for help, don’t be a superhero

Reaching out to friends and family is hard when you know that everyone is stressed. But your support system will not know you need help unless you ask. Simple requests to come over for an hour while you take a shower or to drop off a meal can mean the difference of feeling human again! Seek out specific support services for your needs. For example, Postpartum doulas help mothers in the first twelve months after birth. They can prepare nutritious meals, offer relaxing massage, and talk about whatever is on your mind. As Dr. Murthy wrote, “We must learn to view asking for help and accepting help as acts of strength, not weakness.”

Offer to help, don’t retreat

Another way to feel less isolated is to reach out and offer support to a parent you know. You can text them when you go to the store and ask them if they need anything, or drop by and tell them, “I wanted to say Hi, and check in on you!” It may sound counterintuitive to add something like this to your already full schedule, but the reward of helping another helps you feel connected and less alone. Give to receive!

Seek out therapy – you are not alone

Parenting is hard! It is one of the most important things we do, and yet no one teaches us how to do it except our parents, and sometimes those models are not ones we want to follow. Therapy is a safe place to reflect on the hardships of building and sustaining a family, get personalized support, and receive attuned and supportive care. With a good therapist, you are not alone in you parenting journey. Your mental health is the best place to start being the best parent you can be.

Learn more about therapy with Arianne
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ADHD, Parenting, Testing and Assessment

Planning for Success with ADHD at Home: ADHD Strategies for Children

Written by Connor McClenahan

It is possible to have more fun with your child and experience less frustration, even if your child has ADHD. You may feel like all you do right now is remind or nag your child to brush their teeth, complete homework, get ready in the morning, and not fight with siblings. You have tried the strategies that worked with your other kids or have worked for your friends, but with no success. If your child has traits of ADHD or has been diagnosed with ADHD, this probably sounds very familiar. This blog can help you learn ADHD strategies for children that you can utilize to help your child successfully complete tasks such as school assignments, chores, and self-care.

ADHD Strategies for Children at Home

Many parents of kids with ADHD struggle to get their children to complete tasks at home. Your child may need more support than other children their age to be able to be successful at homework, chores or even maintaining hygiene.

Thankfully, there are a few strategies that will help you and your child navigate the challenges. These strategies can be used by all parents, but are especially important for parents of a child with ADHD. You may have to provide more consistency and structure in your parenting to support the different ways your child’s brain works.

1) Prioritize

When tackling challenges at home, it is important to start small. You have a thousand things you want your child to do and they all are important. Focus on the most important task first. Select 1-3 things and become highly consistent in prioritizing them until they become a habit for your child. Then, you will know it is time to move on to the next thing on your list.

While this can be challenging, it is key for success.

Remember, you will have to ignore some important things as you focus on your goals. However, doing so will be more effective. It will help your child make progress with one task before moving on to the next.

Prioritizing is especially important for children with ADHD, because they already experience difficulty remembering what needs to be done. Fewer things to remember equals more success.

So, what is the one task you want to focus on right now?

2) Create a Plan

Now that you have prioritized, create a plan with your child. If your child has ADHD, then you may need to be more explicit when creating a plan to enhance their ability to remember the plan.

Your plan should include a very clear description of your expectations for your child. It also needs to include description of what you are going to do to help them. Create a plan in collaboration with your child. This will grant the opportunity for them to express what is difficult for them and what they need from you in order to succeed. Keep in mind, you may have to adjust your expectations so that the plan works for both of you.

3) Rewards

Rewards can be far more powerful for changing behavior over time than punishments. However, they can be difficult to implement.

Identify what your child can earn if they complete the task you expect this week. Maybe it is a later bedtime, additional screen time, or the selection of your family dinner or the Friday night movie. Think of things that can be repeated, are doable, and do not break the bank. Create a menu so that your child can choose which reward they want: whatever best incentivizes them from your pre-approved list.

Rewards are effective for all children, but may be more necessary for children with ADHD. They tend to be more bored by routine tasks less likely to feel naturally rewarded by completing a task they need to do. Attaching an external reward can make the task seem feel interesting or worthwhile.

4) Praise

Praise more than you think you need to. This is so important for children with ADHD because they may often feel like a failure. Praise serves as an incentive for them to repeat appropriate behavior. It also helps boost their self-esteem.

Even if something is not perfect, praise them for the little progress you observe every week.

5) Reminders

Get creative with these! Because the ADHD brain works differently, reminders are crucial. Keep in mind, they need to be consistent with your child’s interests or strengths. You can try charts, phone alarms, visual reminders, and scheduling a check in with you, so that you can remind them about the plan and praise any progress. Choose a reminder system that works best for your child based on their age and preferences.

6) Consistency is Key

It takes times to form healthy habits and may be harder for your child with ADHD. If they are forgetful or uninterested, it can take a while to figure out what they need and create a habit.

7) Get Help with ADHD Testing in Los Angeles

Even the best parents need help! These ADHD strategies for children may sound easy. However, they can be challenging for children with ADHD to accomplish consistently. That’s why identifying and developing a strategy that works best for your child’s unique needs is so important. Every child with ADHD has different needs, strengths, and interests. It may be helpful to work with a psychologist to identify the strategies that will work best for your child. ADHD testing can also help clarify how your child’s brain works, as well as identifying their strengths and weakness.

If you are wondering if your child has ADHD and would like more information about therapy or testing, you can set up a free consultation to discuss your assessment and/or therapeutic needs.

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ADHD, Parenting, Testing and Assessment

5 Empowering Options for your Child with ADHD

Written by Connor McClenahan

You received a diagnosis of ADHD for your child. Hopefully that clarifies some of the questions you had!  But where do you go from here?

Whether a diagnosis feels helpful or daunting, it does give you some options. You can now make an informed decision of what will be best for your child. Consider each one and discuss them with your child’s pediatrician or mental health therapist. More than one option may be right for your child.

School Accommodations

Having a diagnosis will give you the ability to advocate for your child’s needs at school. Check out my blog on school strategies for more details on this option.

Medication

Many pediatricians recommend medication to help manage the symptoms of ADHD. Doctors most commonly prescribe psychostimulants, but other options exist. Medication is an effective treatment for many children and often improves focus, peer relations (ex. by reducing aggression), compliance with teacher instructions and work completion.

Weigh the pros and cons of medication and find a medication that works best for your child. Not all children respond to the same medications. Side effects also need to be considered and closely monitored when trying a medication. Some common side effects include insomnia and lack of appetite.

Many parents worry that the use of psychostimulants in children will increase the risk of substance abuse in adolescents. However, the majority of studies have found no increase in risk. Some studies have actually found that prescription of medication for ADHD reduces likelihood of substance abuse in the future. This may be because those who are properly medicated are less likely to self-medicate. Stimulants can be over used, either to get high or in attempts to improve intelligence, and their use may need to be closely monitored. They may not be recommended for adolescents who already struggle with drug abuse.

Medication is very effective for immediate improvement but behavioral treatment and mental health treatment should also be considered for more long term impact. For more information, check out FIU’s Center for Children and Families information sheet.

Supplements

Though generally less effective than medication, some children may still benefit from supplements. Evidence suggests that some children with ADHD have lower levels of Omega-3 fatty acids, which are essential for brain development. For this reason, Omega supplements may help alleviate symptoms. It is unlikely that a supplement will reduce symptoms entirely, but it may be helpful for children with mild ADHD symptoms or for maintaining lower doses of medication for children with moderate or severe ADHD.

Omega-3 supplements are not considered a primary treatment for ADHD, due to lack of efficacy and the need for more research. However, it may be useful as an adjunct treatment.

Neurofeedback

Neurofeedback aims to develop the capacity of the brain to self-regulate at the cortical level. Theoretically, individuals with ADHD have an under-aroused brain with insufficient communication between neurons. Neurofeedback utilizes EEG technology to help train the brain to increase certain brain waves while decreasing waves that are excessively active in ADHD.

There is growing evidence of the effective use of neurofeedback for ADHD. It has not been found to be as widely effective as medication but may be helpful for those who do not respond well to medication or are hoping to maintain lower doses.

Mental Health Therapy

Due to the stress of living with ADHD, children often feel more anxious, depressed or angry. They need to learn how to cope with these feelings and also develop new strategies that work with their brain. Mental health therapy has a very good track record for helping reduce the negative impact of ADHD through behavioral and emotional strategies.

Behavioral interventions help children, their teachers and parents identify strategies that will help compensate for the symptoms of ADHD. This may include regular check-ins, organizational strategies and reward systems. Emotional strategies help children overcome anxiety, anger and sadness.

Mental health therapy does not reduce the prevalence of inattention or hyperactivity, but instead helps kids and parents cope with them more effectively. Therapy provides long-term skills and most research indicates that the combination of mental health therapy and medication as the most effective treatment for ADHD.

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If you are interested in a consultation to see if therapy would be a good fit for your child, give us a call today. If you are not sure if you child has ADHD, contact us to discuss psychological testing.

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Teen girl achieving success in school due to proven ADHD strategies
ADHD, Parenting, Testing and Assessment

20 ADHD Strategies for a Happy, Successful Kid at School

Written by Connor McClenahan

A lack of strategies for ADHD preventing success at school is one of the greatest challenges for kids with ADHD. As a parent, you may feel overwhelmed by how to help your child. You may feel that you do not have the expertise to help your child develop effective coping strategies for ADHD.

Qualifying for School Accommodations

In order to receive additional supports or accommodations at school, your child will need to qualify for a 504 Plan. A 504 Plan is a detailed description of how the school will aim to support your child. It is not part of special education (such as an IEP). Instead, 504 Plans help children with disabilities and health impairments have equal access to school. Remember, ADHD is considered a health impairment.

In order to qualify, the school may provide an assessment or require you to provide a diagnosis from a psychologist or physician. Check with your school to see what the requirements are for receiving a 504 Plan for your child.

Strategies for ADHD in the Classroom

504 Plans document accommodations that your child will receive. Some schools and teachers may be willing to provide these supports without a 504 Plan, such as in private school settings.

Here is a list of research-based accommodations that can prove helpful for children with ADHD:

  1. Reducing the number of homework problems without changing the level of content
  2. Preferential seating near front of classroom to reduce distractions
  3. Testing outside of classroom in a quieter environment
  4. Providing extra time on tests or assignments
  5. Increased positive reinforcements (e.g. rewards) and praise in the classroom
  6. Meeting with a school counselor to work on academic or behavioral goals
  7. Breaking long assignments into smaller parts
  8. Increased check-ins to make sure student understands instructions
  9. Allowing for more breaks
  10. Increased support for organization and communication with parents

There are many more options for accommodations based on your child’s needs and the school’s capacity to provide support. Meeting with the school as well as a mental health professional can help you identify which strategies will best meet your child’s specific needs.

ADHD Strategies for Homework

Whether or not your child has accommodations at school, you are still going to need some strategies at home for helping with homework. Some strategies will be the same as those used at school. If your child has a 504 plan it may include a few things that help with homework, like reduced repetitive tasks for homework or extended deadlines if needed.

Here are some strategies that will help at home whether or not your child has a 504 Plan:

  1. Removing distractions during homework (ex. Devices, TV in the background, etc.)
  2. Set a timer and provide breaks
  3. Have a specific time and place for homework
  4. Schedule agreed-on check-ins to make sure your child is staying on task
  5. Break down assignments into smaller tasks and goals
  6. Create a system for checking in with teacher regularly to increase communication about homework (ex. Assignment record that student completes and teacher signs daily)
  7. Provide rewards for completed homework
  8. Create a visual checklist of things that need to go to school every day
  9. Use an accordion folder and reward having no loose papers in backpack
  10. Discuss plan of what needs to get done and how long it is expected to take daily

Start small and choose a few strategies to implement at a time. After all, you do not want to overwhelm yourself or your child by attempting to tackle all of these strategies at once.

How Therapy Can Help

If you need more support, arrange a consultation with a psychologist who specializes in ADHD. They can help you select and implement personalized strategies. Find a psychologist who is willing to work with you and your child collaboratively to create a plan that will work for both you and your child.

For more information on ADHD assessment as well as strategies for ADHD, you can download my ADHD Field Guide for free. Reach out today to schedule a free consultation call to discuss therapy or an ADHD assessment for your child. 

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Section 504
Homework Help for ADHD
Melissa Winfield, PsyD
Melissa Winfield, PsyD

I help children, teenagers and parents find hope and resilience through the tough times.

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parent and child using adhd assessment results to help alleviate child's adhd symptoms and help them succeed academically
ADHD, Parenting, Testing and Assessment

3 Best Benefits of an ADHD Child Assessment

Written by Connor McClenahan

Your child isn’t getting good grades, even though they are smart. Maybe you spend hours convincing and helping them to  complete to their homework. Or they rush through their work, making many mistakes. Perhaps they forget to turn in their homework. Or teachers are concerned about their ability to focus in class.

If these scholastic struggles sound familiar, then a psychological assessment for ADHD can provide the answers you need.

What Are The Benefits Of An ADHD Assessment?

An ADHD assessment assesses multiple factors that can help you understand your child and learn how they can succeed academically. A comprehensive assessment can provide additional answers. The benefits of a comprehensive ADHD assessment include understanding how your child brain functions, how they learn, and what other emotional challenges, such as anxiety or depression, are contributing.

The process of an ADHD assessment provides three major answers:

What an ADHD Assessment Provides

Diagnosis and Recommendations

Following the ADHD assessment, you will receive a written report that includes a diagnosis (if applicable) and recommendations. Recommendations include strategies for school, parenting, and medical and/or mental health treatment. You may provide this report to your child’s school if the psychologist recommends you advocate for more academic support.

ADHD Medication

Additionally, you may give the report to your child’s pediatrician or psychiatrist if you are interested in medication for your child. If you are not interested in medication, your pediatrician may recommend other supplements, such as melatonin for sleep or an Omega supplement to help with focus. Your pediatrician may address other nutritional imbalances that can impact ADHD symptoms.

Parenting Strategies

The report will also provide parenting strategies. Parenting is never easy. A child with ADHD, however, may require some additional support. This can make parenting more challenging. Additionally, parenting a child with ADHD likely looks different to the parenting your other children or your friend’s children require. Thus, recommended strategies will be tailored to fit your child’s specific situation. This can include transitioning between multiple households, difficulty with sleep, or a busy family schedule.

Empower Yourself And Your Child With An ADHD Assessment

It may feel overwhelming to meet your child’s needs especially with, no doubt, numerous other demands on your time. One of the major benefits of an ADHD assessment is that it provides a road map. It can help reveal what your child needs and how to start providing this. Then, both you and your child can feel confident to take the next steps towards effective change. 

Schedule Your Consultation Today

Schedule a free consultation call to see if an ADHD assessment would benefit your child. For more information on the assessment process and strategies, you can download my ADHD Field Guide.

Melissa Winfield, PsyD
Melissa Winfield, PsyD

I help children, teenagers and parents find hope and resilience through the tough times.

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teen gender conversation with their parent
Parenting

Teenager Gender And Sexuality Exploration: How To Have Constructive Conversations With Your Teen

Written by Kristi Wollbrink

Adolescence is a time filled with change, discovery, and sometimes uncertainty — both for teens and their families. Exploring gender and sexuality is a natural and important part of growing up, but it can also bring feelings of confusion, worry, or even fear for parents and caregivers. If you’ve noticed your teenager expressing themselves differently or questioning who they are, you’re not alone. Many families face similar journeys, and it’s okay to feel unsure about how to support your teen.

We want you to know that creating a space of love, acceptance, and open communication is one of the most powerful things you can do. Our team is here to walk alongside you and your teenager as you navigate this important time, helping foster connection, understanding, and resilience.

Why Do Teens Explore Gender and Sexuality?

Exploration of gender identity and sexuality is a deeply personal and ongoing journey for many adolescents. There is no fixed timeline or “right way” to discover who they truly are. Teens today are influenced by many factors, including social media, friendships, cultural messages, and their own internal feelings.

It’s normal for teenagers to question, experiment, and even change their minds about their identity as they grow. Sometimes, this exploration is fluid — reflecting their unique experience rather than a clear, fixed label. We recognize that this process can feel confusing both for teens and their families, but it is an essential part of self-understanding and growth.

At Here Counseling, we honor this journey and believe that every teen deserves to explore their identity in a supportive, judgment-free environment.

How do I know if My Teenager is Exploring their Gender and Sexuality?

Have you noticed your teenager experimenting with the way they dress? How about trying out how it feels to identify with different pronouns? Are they exploring the way they express their gender on social media? If you have noticed your teenager experimenting with gender expression through aspects of their identity such as fashion, pronouns, and traditionally “gendered” behavior, you may feel uncertain about how to understand and support your child at this time.

You may find yourself wondering how this is impacting your teenager. Are they questioning their gender identity or sexual orientation? Their comments and behaviors may make you feel worried, anxious, or even angry. This can lead you to react in ways that make you and your teenager feel distant from one another. In these moments, you may suddenly find yourself feeling uncertain how to best respond. If your goal is to figure out how to best support your teen, then you are in the right place.

How Will This Article Help Me and My Teenager?

As a parent, it can be difficult to know how to support your teenager. This can be especially true as they explore their gender identity and sexual orientation. It’s important to support and care for their safety, psychological, and physical health while navigating these sensitive topics. This article will provide tips and guidance on how to navigate these important developmental topics, including how to talk to your teen about sexuality and teenage sexuality.

How to Understand and Support Your Teenager to Reduce Tension and Increase Connection

How Do I Support My Teenager As They Experiment with Their Gender and/or Sexuality?

Unsurprisingly, teenagers naturally experiment to discover their personal sense of self and identity. However, as a parent, it can be challenging to know how to respond when this exploration includes gender and sexuality. Most parents hold a variety of thoughts and beliefs about gender identity or sexual orientation. Remember, these attitudes will impact how you feel about and interact with your teenager about sensitive topics. Below, I’ll talk you through how to navigate these beliefs. This is especially important when they contrast with your teenager’s needs for support.

Initially, these topics may feel uncertain or scary. However, the reality is that gender identity and sexual orientation are topics your teenager is thinking about. They’re likely talking about it with their friends, seeing it on social media, and exploring it for themselves. It’s not a foreign topic for them. Therefore, it doesn’t have to be for you either. Instead of experiencing fear, vulnerability, or uncertainty about how to navigate these topics, try the simple steps in this article. They can help you release that tension and bring you closer to your teenager.

Issues of gender and sexuality can feel overwhelming to navigate as a parent. That overwhelm can keep you feeling worried and anxious. Instead, overcoming the tension can be the very thing that brings you closer to your teenager.

Granted, this can feel like a difficult and scary topic to navigate in conversations with your teen. That’s why I created this simple guide. It can help you increase your confidence by understanding the cause of your anxiety. Clarity can help you to move toward creating a space to talk with your teen about gender and sexuality journey.

Three Simple Steps To Support Your Teenager As They Explore Their Gender and/or Sexuality

These three simple steps can help you respond with support as your teen explores gender and/or sexuality:

Step 1: Recognize And Name Your Fear

First, take a few minutes. Identify specifically what causes your fearfulness to address these topics of gender identity and sexual orientation. Recognize the cause of hesitation to ease anxiety and show your teenager care. Identify specific fears if struggling to accept your teenager’s gender or sexual identity. Often fear is related to worries of being a good parent. Naming fear can challenge it and help support your teen. It is natural to feel worried. Acknowledge this as a first step to move towards supporting your teen in the way they need most.

Step 2: Accept That Sexual Exploration Is The Way To Discovery.

Remember, you yourself likely went through some form of exploration and experimentation to understand yourself. These exploratory experiences helped you discover yourself. The same is true for your teenager’s discovery of their gender and sexual identity. After all, gender and sexuality are not exceptions. As in all areas of self discovery, we may need to “try on” and explore various paths and parts of ourselves in order to discover who we truly are. Allow exploration and approach gender and sexuality conversations like any other important topic. Tune into your teenager’s needs. Create a space where they feel safe and heard. Most importantly, show and remind them that you will love them and be there for them no matter what. Click the link below to learn more about how to communicate effectively with your teenager.

Why won’t my teenager talk to me?

Step 3: Do Your Homework on Teenager Sexuality.

It’s ok to not know everything, but don’t excuse yourself from learning. Being honest about what you do not know can help your teenager feel safe. However, ensure that does not become an excuse to stay uninformed. Use resources to gain awareness about gender and sexuality, which will help you connect more deeply with your teenager.
Remember, it can feel refreshing for your teenager to see you as the learner. It will be meaningful for your teen to see you educating yourself about something so important to them. You can begin by exploring expressions of gender and sexuality through this interactive worksheet: GenderBread Person Worksheet

Some Important Gender and Sexuality Terminology

It can also be valuable to increase your awareness about some important terms related to these topics. This includes an awareness of the differences between one’s gender identity and sexual orientation.

TermDefinition
Gender identityWho you feel you are at your core, whether it’s male, female, neither, or both.
Non-binaryGender identity isn’t exclusively male or female, and may experience their gender as both male and female, or they may experience it as neither (agender).
Transgender (sometimes shortened to the term “trans”)Identifying with a gender that is different from the one you were assigned at birth.
Sexual orientationWho you’re attracted to on a physical level.
FluidRefers to a person who experiences changes in their sexual attraction over time and/or depending on the situation.

Where To Turn For Additional Gender and Sexuality Information

These are just a few of the important terms to understand and familiarize yourself with to support your teenager. It can feel overwhelming. You may feel like you’re having to learn a whole new language. However, expertise is not required. Moderate knowledge can go a long way in helping you to connect with your teenager. This guide may prove to be a helpful tool for growing more familiar with some terminology and other helpful information.
https://www.newportacademy.com/resources/empowering-teens/teenage-sexuality/

How to Support Your Teenager During This Exploration

Supporting your teen through their exploration starts with creating a safe, welcoming space where they feel heard and accepted. It’s okay if you don’t have all the answers right now. What matters most is your willingness to listen without judgment and to validate their experiences.

Encourage honest conversations by asking open-ended questions and showing empathy. Avoid pushing your teen to label themselves before they’re ready — allow them to take the time they need to find their own way.

Using the names and pronouns your teen prefers is a simple but powerful way to show respect and support. Let your teenager know that your love is unconditional, regardless of how they identify.

At Here Counseling, we are committed to helping families build bridges of understanding during these times, providing guidance and support every step of the way.

Navigating Challenges Faced by Questioning Teens

Teens questioning their gender or sexuality often face unique challenges, including bullying, social isolation, or identity-related stress. These experiences can take a toll on mental health, increasing risks of anxiety, depression, or feelings of loneliness.

Creating affirming environments at home and school is vital. When teens feel accepted and supported, they build resilience to face adversity. Encouraging open communication, celebrating their courage, and connecting them with supportive communities all contribute to their well-being.

We understand these challenges deeply at Here Counseling and work with families and teens to foster spaces where identity exploration is met with compassion and strength.

Resources and Tools to Help Families

Knowledge is power, and having the right tools can make a meaningful difference for both teens and their families. Educational materials like the GenderBread Person worksheet offer an approachable way to understand gender and sexuality concepts together.

We also recommend trusted organizations such as PFLAG and The Trevor Project, which provide invaluable support, guidance, and community connections for LGBTQ+ youth and their families. Locally, there are affirming counselors and support groups in Los Angeles ready to help you and your teen feel less alone.

Here Counseling is proud to connect families with these resources and guide them toward affirming support tailored to their unique journey.

When and How to Seek Professional Support

Sometimes, despite your best efforts, your teen or family might benefit from additional support. If your teen is experiencing prolonged distress, ongoing family conflict, or struggles with mental health challenges linked to their identity exploration, it’s a good time to consider professional counseling.

LGBTQIA+ affirming therapists provide a safe, confidential space where teens and parents can explore feelings, develop coping strategies, and strengthen communication. Therapy can be a powerful tool for healing, growth, and connection.

At Here Counseling, we specialize in teen and LGBTQIA+ support, offering compassionate care to help your family navigate these complex questions with understanding and hope.

Teenager Gender and Sexuality Exploration: In Summary

Navigating the topics of gender identity and sexual orientation can be difficult for parents. However, it is important to support and understand your teenager as they explore these aspects of themselves. Doing so can help to cultivate a feeling of safety for your teen. It doesn’t have to be overwhelming to take steps forward in creating a safe space for this with your teenager. Remember, taking these three simple steps will help you to overcome the difficulties that may be having you feeling stuck and move you toward a place of deeper connection with your teenager.

By recognizing and naming your fears, accepting that exploration is a normal part of growing up, and creating a safe and open space for conversation, you can be the supportive and loving parent your teenagers needs. Additionally, there may be times when it feels helpful to have the support of a trained therapist to come alongside you and your teenager. If this is something that you feel could be of help in this journey, I would be happy to schedule a consultation to see if therapy might be a helpful resource for you and your teenager. Here Counseling has multiple therapists who specialize in LGBTQIA+ issues and working with LGBTQIA+ individuals.

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FAQ: Teenager Gender and Sexuality Exploration

How to talk to your teen about sexuality?

Start by creating a safe space, naming your fears, and accepting exploration as normal; use open questions like “What are you needing?” to foster connection.

What is teenage sexuality?

Teenage sexuality involves exploring attraction and identity, often through social media, fashion, and pronouns; support it by learning terms and affirming unconditional love.

What is teen sexuality?

Teen sexuality is the natural experimentation with physical attraction and self-expression; approach conversations with curiosity to reduce tension and build trust.

How to talk about sexual orientation?

Acknowledge differences in attraction as fluid or fixed; educate yourself on terms like “fluid” and invite honest dialogue without judgment.

What are orientation teenagers?

Teenagers exploring orientation question who they’re attracted to; guide them by validating feelings and using resources like worksheets for self-discovery.

How it feels to be a teenager?

Being a teenager often involves confusion and excitement in identity exploration; parents can help by recognizing fears and supporting open expression.

What is teenagers sexuality?

Teenagers’ sexuality includes discovering gender and attraction; create safety by learning basics and affirming their journey without pressure.

What is gender?

Gender is one’s core sense of self as male, female, non-binary, or fluid; differentiate it from sexual orientation for constructive talks.

What is teenager sexuality?

Teenager sexuality encompasses attraction changes and identity trials; educate on terms like transgender to connect meaningfully.

How to talk to your teen about sex?

Approach sex talks with honesty about fears and acceptance; use guides to normalize exploration and emphasize safety and consent.

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ADHD, Parenting, Testing and Assessment

Does My Child Have ADHD? How to get answers

Written by Connor McClenahan

The diagnosis of ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) is getting thrown around everywhere these days. It’s so common that some parents have become suspicious of the label while others become concerned that every problem their child has may be related to ADHD. But what actually is ADHD and would it be helpful to get a diagnosis for your child?

What is ADHD?

ADHD is more than just attention problems or hyperactivity. It is a mental health diagnosis that  includes a long list of symptoms that occur when children (and adults) have difficulty with executive functioning. Executive functioning is our brain’s ability to plan ahead, sustain attention, organize, and stop certain behaviors.

When your child is arguing for the one hundredth time about taking a shower and you want to yell at them to just do it, but instead you take a deep breath and speak calmly…that is your brain using executive functioning to monitor your behavior. Getting yourself to focus on work, planning out what you need to do today and finishing the dishes when you don’t want to…that is also your brain using executive functioning.

Attention problems are a sign of ADHD but there is more to it.

What are the Symptoms of ADHD?

Here are some other signs of ADHD:

  • Loosing things frequently
  • Difficulty starting tasks (Ex. Needs frequent reminders to do homework or chores)
  • Difficulty completing tasks or following through with instructions (Ex. Completes homework but forgets to turn it in)
  • Makes frequent mistakes on things that they should know
  • Forgets things that they have to do daily
  • Gets easily distracted
  • Fidgets constantly
  • Has difficulty sitting still in sitting is required
  • Seems to be aways on the go
  • Runs or climbs when it is not appropriate to do so
  • Not able to play quietly
  • Blurts out answers to questions
  • Has difficulty waiting turns
  • Does not play quietly but is always making noise

Likely your child has struggled with one or more of these items, even if they do not have ADHD. And very few children will have all of these symptoms. But if your child has many of these symptoms AND it is impacting school, their ability to make friends or making home life very difficult, then they may need additional support.

When Should I Get Help?

If you are looking at this list and your child meets more than 5 of these regularly or a specific symptom is causing significant concern, then getting an evaluation from your pediatrician or a qualified mental health professional may be helpful. Without a professional evaluation, it is difficult to know for sure if your child meets criteria. This is because there are a few other factors involved. For example, other things can look like ADHD…like past trauma, anxiety, difficulty transitioning between homes or learning difficulties.

Is Getting a Diagnosis Important?

Getting a professional diagnosis may be helpful for you to know how to better support your child and to give you a road map of what to do next. A diagnosis can help you advocate for accommodations at school, discuss treatment with your pediatrician or know how to better structure your child’s time at home.

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