Somatic Exercises Archives

Find Relief from Shame With These 3 Somatic Exercises

Written by juliawilson

When Self-Blame Keeps You In Burnout

It’s the end of the day, and you feel exhausted. The laundry list of things you started with in the morning is still half undone. You’re irritable with friends who want to hang out, even though part of you wants to see them. But mostly, you’re frustrated with yourself, thinking: “How did I get to the end of the day AGAIN with so much left undone? I should have been able to do more…”

The problem here isn’t just stress — it’s the “shoulds.” The repeated “should-ing” is often a sign that shame has taken the wheel. Shame isn’t just a thought in your head. It’s a full-body experience that pulls you into self-criticism, withdrawal, and hypervigilance. But here’s the good news: your body isn’t the enemy. In fact, it holds the doorway to healing.

What Is Shame?

Shame is the emotion that whispers, “I am bad” instead of “I did something bad.” When you feel overwhelmed by your to-do list or worry you’re letting friends down, shame can convince you that it’s not just your choices that are the problem — it’s you.

How Shame is Connected to Burnout

This self-judgment doesn’t just live in your mind — it drains your energy and keeps your body tense, linking shame directly to burnout. Burnout isn’t just about having too much on your plate — it’s also fueled by shame. When you constantly judge yourself for not doing enough, your body and mind stay in a state of tension. That “I should have…” voice doesn’t just create mental stress; it triggers the same physiological collapse that shame causes, keeping you trapped in exhaustion, self-criticism, and disconnection. In other words, burnout and shame are often two sides of the same coin: one drains your energy, the other convinces you that it’s your fault.

Why Shame Shows Up

From an evolutionary perspective, shame originally served to keep us safe and connected. Historically, if we risked being excluded from the group, shame acted as an internal alarm: “Don’t do that — you might get cast out.” Because humans depend on belonging, shame evolved as a way to keep us tethered to relationships.

That’s why shame is so often relational. It’s less about personal failure and more about disconnection. At its core, shame is a bid for reconnection.

How Shame Lives in the Body

When shame gets activated, many of us experience a kind of collapse. Even if shame tells you to “do more,” the underlying experience is one of defeat. Your body might slump forward, your gaze lowers, your voice gets quieter, and you feel smaller. Physiologically, your nervous system is moving into a withdrawal state — a survival response that once protected you, but now keeps you stuck.

Where Does Shame Come From?

Shame can take root in many ways. Sometimes it comes from early relational experiences:

A parent who disciplined harshly or sent the message that you were bad, not just your behavior.
A teacher who shamed you in front of the class.
Peer bullying that left you feeling unworthy or unlikable.

Cultural messages reinforce this wiring. We all absorb ideas about what emotions are “acceptable,” what bodies are “beautiful,” and what level of productivity equals “success.” When we inevitably fall short of these narrow ideals, shame floods in, telling us we’re not enough.

Over time, repeated relational injuries — especially in environments where shame was used as control or where love felt conditional — shape the nervous system. Shame becomes an automatic response to certain triggers, like making a mistake, being vulnerable, or even resting.

3 Common Patterns of Shame

Shame doesn’t just live in our thoughts — it shapes how we show up in daily life. Over time, shame creates patterns that can leave us stuck in cycles of exhaustion, self-doubt, and disconnection. Here are three of the most common ways shame shows up in our bodies, minds, and relationships:

1. Self-Criticism & Overthinking

Replaying mistakes, a harsh inner voice, the feeling that no matter what you do, it’s never enough.

You replay mistakes over and over, trying to figure out what you should have done differently. The inner voice gets harsh and relentless: “Why can’t you just get it right?” Even when you’ve done something well, shame convinces you it wasn’t enough.

2. Avoidance & Disconnection

Pulling away from people or opportunities to avoid judgment, rejection, or failure.

To avoid being judged or rejected, you start pulling back. Maybe you cancel plans, stop sharing openly, or avoid taking risks. On the surface it looks like “just needing space,” but underneath it’s about protecting yourself from potential shame.

3. People-Pleasing & Compliance

Saying yes when you want to say no, suppressing your needs to keep connection (but leaving yourself depleted).

Instead of risking disapproval, you give in. You say yes when you want to say no. You hide your real feelings or silence your needs to maintain connection. While this might prevent immediate conflict, it often leaves you feeling unseen, exhausted, and resentful.

These patterns are painful, but they’re not signs that you’re broken. They’re survival strategies your body learned long ago to protect you from the threat of disconnection. And because they live in the body, the body is also where healing begins.

Three Steps to Healing Through Somatic Awareness

The work of healing shame isn’t about erasing it. Shame is part of being human. Instead, it’s about changing how we respond when shame arises. Since shame shows up not only in our thoughts but also in our posture, breath, and nervous system, the body is one of the most powerful places to begin.

1. Notice the Body’s Signals of Shame.

When shame surfaces, the body often shifts into a collapse state: your shoulders round forward, your gaze drops, your voice gets quieter, or your chest feels tight. Begin by simply noticing these signals without judgment. The act of noticing creates space between you and the shame response.

2. Soften and Create Space in the Body.

This could be as simple as taking a slower, deeper breath, uncrossing your arms, or placing your feet firmly on the ground. Small movements signal safety to the nervous system and interrupt the spiral of collapse.

3. Nurture with Compassionate Touch or Movement.

Offer your body the same care you might give a hurting child or friend. Place a hand over your heart and take a deep breath, stretch in a way that feels kind, or maybe go on a short walk. These small gestures remind your body that it is safe, worthy, and deserving of compassion.

Each time you notice shame and respond with gentleness instead of self-blame, you’re rewiring your nervous system. Over time, your body learns that it no longer needs to collapse into shame — it can move toward connection, safety, and compassion instead.

Move From Shame Toward Compassion

Shame can feel overwhelming. It can keep you stuck in burnout. But it doesn’t have to define you. When you start to recognize shame’s signals and respond with curiosity and kindness, you loosen its grip. Each breath, each shift in posture, each small act of compassion toward your body becomes a way of saying: I am not the enemy. I am worth care.

Healing shame isn’t about getting rid of it altogether. It’s about building a new relationship with yourself — one where your body is not a battleground, but a guide back to connection and peace.

If you find yourself caught in cycles of self-blame and overwhelm, know that you don’t have to walk through it alone. At Here Counseling, we help people untangle these patterns and reconnect with themselves in more compassionate, embodied ways. Reaching out for support can be the first step in learning to live with more ease, gentleness, and freedom.

I’d love to walk with you. You can gain insight into your self-blame. You can build new patterns. And you can find freedom from the overwhelm. Reach out today.

Schedule a Free Consultation for Trauma Therapy in Pasadena

Julia Wilson, MA

I’m a trained integrative trauma therapist practicing in Pasadena, CA. When you’re stuck in cycles of burnout, shame, or overwhelm, I can help you grow through deeper awareness and acceptance. I help individuals and adolescents tune into their bodies, notice shame’s signals, and build self-compassion while reclaiming their inner strength.

Learn more about Trauma Therapy with Julia

Managing emotions, Somatic Exercises

Emotional & Somatic Flashbacks: How Trauma Shows Up in the Body

Written by Addy Sonneland

What Are Emotional & Somatic Flashbacks?

When we talk about flashbacks, many people imagine vivid mental images of traumatic events. Emotional flashbacks are a bit different. Emotional flashbacks happen when the emotions tied to past trauma return (hurt, shame, fear, worthlessness, etc.) without a clear memory or image. Somatic flashbacks (or somatic re-experiencing) are bodily sensations that echo trauma—tightness, nausea, trembling, heart racing, freezing, pain, or other physical sensations that don’t seem to have a present cause. Occasionally, emotional and somatic flashbacks overlap. These experiences are especially common for those who have experienced complex trauma (C-PTSD) and trauma histories, especially when childhood or developmental trauma has occurred. (Charlie Health)

What the Research Shows Us: Body, Memory, and Trauma

Let’s look at what research tell us about how and why somatic/emotional flashbacks happen, how the body is involved, and, most importantly, what it means for healing.

Body Memories & Negative Bodily Experiences

In Clinical Manifestations of Body Memories (2022), researchers explores how negative bodily experiences from the past are stored as “body memories,” and the ways they influence behavior and physical responses even in the absence of conscious recall (PMC), Similar to visual memories, our bodies also can recall the events we have lived through. Likely, these are not conscious thoughts, but rather sensations (tightness in the chest, pain in the abdomen, nausea, trembling) or automatic behaviors like freezing, bracing, or withdrawing.

Body memories can “pull” the nervous system into sympathetic or dorsal vagal states as if the old trauma is still happening. The body reacts to past danger in the present moment, bypassing conscious awareness. That’s why someone might suddenly feel panicked, nauseated, or disconnected without knowing why—because their nervous system is protecting them based on an old template.

2. Neural Sensory Overwhelm, Dysregulation & Sensory Reactivity
Research on PTSD (and PTSD with dissociative symptoms) shows that traumatic experiences change how the nervous system responds to sensory input. Sensory stimuli—even subtle ones—can overwhelm processing regions in the brainstem/midbrain, triggering intense emotional or bodily reactions (Frontiers). Stimuli that otherwise might be neutral like a car honking in the distance or someone dropping their phone can shift the nervous system into dysregulation.

Think of your nervous system like a smoke alarm. A well-tuned alarm only goes off when there’s real smoke. But after trauma, the alarm can become overly sensitive—it blares at burnt toast, not just a house fire. Sensory overwhelm is your body’s alarm system going off too often or too intensely.

3. Interoceptive Awareness & Mental Health
Interoception is the awareness of sensations inside the body. In “The Body Can Balance the Score: Using a Somatic Self-Care…” researchers argue that strengthening interoceptive awareness helps people track and regulate their bodily sensations more effectively, reducing distress in cases of trauma and PTSD (PMC). Interoceptive awareness is your ability to notice and make sense of the signals coming from inside your body. These signals include things like your heartbeat, hunger, thirst, muscle tension, breathing, or the “gut feeling” you get when something feels right or wrong. It’s basically your inner notification center telling you what’s happening inside so you can respond in a healthy way.

4. Effectiveness of Somatic Therapies
Research is showing that somatic therapies—like Somatic Experiencing—can make a real difference for people living with trauma. In fact, randomized controlled trials (the gold standard in research) have found that this approach not only reduces PTSD symptoms but can also ease depression and even chronic physical sensations of pain (Psych Central). What makes this exciting is that it confirms what many people already feel in their own bodies: trauma isn’t just in the mind, it’s in the body too. And when therapy directly works with the body—through gentle awareness, movement, and regulation—it can support healing on multiple levels.

What Emotional Flashbacks Feel Like

Sudden waves of an old emotion (shame, fear, grief) without clear “this is why” trigger
Bodily sensations: tight chest, racing heart, dizziness, shaking or trembling, freezing
Disconnection: feeling unreal, like you’re observing from outside, or stuck in a younger version of self
Time distortion: feeling as if you were back in the moment of trauma, or that it’s still ongoing
Inner critic activation: harsh self-talk, feelings of worthlessness, or believing you’re “bad” without a clear reason.
Shame spirals: wanting to hide, collapse, or withdraw suddenly.
Heightened sensory sensitivity: everyday sounds, light, and touch feel overwhelming or unbearable

Four Somatic Therapy Interventions to Help

Intervention	What It Does / Why It Helps	How to Use It
1. Grounding through the body & orient to the present	This helps shift your nervous system from being in “past/ trauma mode” into the present. Grounding reduces dissociation and helps remind your body that you are safe now.	When you notice flashback symptoms, try things like pressing your feet into the floor, feeling the texture of something nearby, naming 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste. Pair grounding with time-stamping, telling yourself “This is 2025…I am in my home/a safe environment…the abusive situation is over… I am no longer around unsafe people…This is an adult body. I survived…”. (Pasadena Trauma Therapy)
2. Somatic pacing or pendulation	This idea-often used in somatic experiencing or sensorimotor therapy-gives you a way to gently move between a state of high arousal/activation (flashback) and something calmer, so you don’t get overwhelmed. Your body learns it can tolerate distress and return to regulation.	For example: when you feel the flashback coming, notice the sensations, but after a short while shift attention to something calming (soft touch, soothing sounds, safe memory). You might literally rock or sway, do gentle movement, alternate arm/leg movements, or shift your focus to somewhere physically present and safe. Over time you can increase the “distance” or duration you spend in noticing discomfort before returning to calm.
3. Breath work & activating the parasympathetic nervous system	Flashbacks often trigger sympathetic arousal (fight/flight/freeze). Conscious breathing can engage the parasympathetic branch, slowing the heart, relaxing the body, reducing panic.	A few options: 4-7-8 breathing (inhale 4, hold 7, exhale 8), belly/diaphragmatic breathing, exhaling slowly through the mouth with an audible sigh to exhale. Pair breathing with soft affirmations like “I am safe now” or “This is a body memory, I am not in present danger”. Practicing breathwork when calm will help make deep breathing a habit that is accessible to you in an activated state.
4. Movement, sensory input & safe touch	Movement helps the body complete responses that may have been “stuck” during trauma; sensory input (touch, pressure, warmth) helps “re-anchor” the body in the here and now. Movement naturally helps modulate over-activation or numbness.	Movement practices and intentional sensory input like gentle yoga, slowly walking in nature, shaking/tremoring (with guidance or in safe space), tactile self-soothing (holding a soft object, putting hands under cold running water, hugging yourself, weighted blanket) shift the nervous system toward regulation. As you move, practice body scans to notice where tension is, then consciously relax or non-judgmentally observe those muscles. If safe and if accessible, massage or therapeutic touch can ease somatic flashbacks. Remember to stay within tolerable limits—slow movement or decrease sensory input as needed.

Putting it all together: a gentle self-care plan

Here’s a sample flow you might try when a flashback hits, combining the tools above. You can adapt this based on what feels safest / what resonates.

Notice & Name
“I am having a somatic/emotional flashback.” Naming it helps shift the experience from being overwhelming and unnamable to something you can respond to.
Ground Into the Present
Use time-stamping and grounding: touch, look around, feel your feet, describe surroundings. Speak to yourself, reminding yourself you are safe and in the present moment.
Regulate Through Breath
Once slightly grounded, initiate slow, calm breathing. As breath slows, allow the body’s intensity to lessen.
Pendulate / Movement
When safe, allow small movement or gentle shifts. Then return to rest, softness, slowing. As needed, alternate until you feel more anchored.
Soothing Sensation or Safe Touch
Use soft touch, warmth, safe object around you. Let your skin/ body feel “something kind.”

Healing That Lasts: Returning the Traumatized Nervous System to Safety and Regulation

Healing from trauma is a journey, and it doesn’t happen overnight. As much as we all wish there were a quick fix, trauma leaves real changes in how our brains and bodies respond to the world. Recovery is about gently creating new experiences of safety and regulation so that, over time, your nervous system learns it’s okay to stay within a steadier, calmer “window of tolerance.”

Coping tools you use on your own can be very helpful, but research shows that healing often goes deeper when you have the support of a trauma-informed therapist—especially one trained in approaches like Somatic Therapy, EMDR, Somatic Experiencing, Brainspotting, or Polyvagal-based practices.

You’ve probably had moments where you instantly felt calmer just by being around someone steady and kind—or, on the flip side, noticed yourself becoming tense around someone who’s anxious or angry. That’s not just imagination. It’s your nervous system tuning in to someone else’s nervous system. Through things like tone of voice, facial expression, body posture, and even subtle shifts in breathing, our bodies are constantly “reading” cues of safety or danger in others. This happens automatically, beneath conscious thought, through a process called neuroception (a concept from polyvagal theory). This is why somatic trauma therapies are so effective—they actively use the therapist’s calm, attuned presence to help the body re-learn safety and regulation through co-regulation. Each session is a new experience for the your nervous system to encode!

The Reality of Emotional & Somatic Flashbacks

Flashbacks rarely disappear overnight, and the path to healing is rarely a straight line. With consistent practice and support, they may become less frequent or intense over time, but it’s normal for sensations or emotions to still feel overwhelming at moments. Whenever possible, do this work with someone you trust or a trained professional, and remember to be gentle with yourself—frustration, shame, or fear about having flashbacks are normal, but they aren’t helpful. Every time you notice these experiences with awareness and self-compassion, you are taking steps toward healing.

It’s also important to pay attention to your physical health: if new or concerning symptoms appear—like heart racing, dizziness, chest pain, shortness of breath, or fainting—check in with a medical professional, as these could be related to conditions such as arrhythmia, anemia, thyroid issues, low blood pressure, or other health concerns, not just trauma.

Your path forward

Emotional and somatic flashbacks are intense. They can make you feel trapped in the past, disconnected from your body, or overwhelmed by sensations you don’t fully understand. But they are not signs of failure—they are signals. Signals that your nervous system is still carrying unresolved pain. The body is trying to communicate what words sometimes cannot.

The good news: research and many practitioners have shown that with somatic awareness, grounding, supportive movement, breath, and gentle, compassionate self-care, people can learn to ride the waves of flashbacks rather than be swept away by them. Over time, they can lessen—both in frequency and in the intensity of the responses with the help of a trained mental health professional. Your not stuck, your nervous system is crying out for regulation. Healing is right around the corner and your body can learn to be safe again.

Schedule a Free Consultation for Somatic Therapy in Pasadena

Addy Sonneland, Somatic Therapy

Hi, I’m Addy, a trained integrative somatic trauma therapist. If you notice trauma showing up in your body, whether through flashbacks, muscle tension, or overwhelming sensations, this isn’t something have to go through it alone. I help individuals and adolescents recover from trauma, rewire their nervous system, and tap into their innate inner strength.

Learn more about Somatic Therapy with Addy

Anxiety, Managing emotions, Parenting, Somatic Exercises

Your Teen Overwhelmed by Back-to-School Anxiety? 3 Signs, 3 Parenting Pitfalls, and 3 Ways to Help Your Teen Succeed

Written by Addy Sonneland

Picture your teen pacing the kitchen the night before school starts, clutching their stomach and snapping at small questions, their usual spark dimmed by worry. As summer ends and routines resume in Pasadena, anxiety surges, overwhelming many adolescents with restlessness or tears. Back-to-school transitions stir deep fears in teens, from social pressures to academic demands.

In this post, we’ll explore 3 common symptoms teens show from back-to-school anxiety, explaining each with real examples and internal dynamics via interpersonal neurobiology and adolescent development research. Then, we’ll cover common parent missteps that heighten anxiety and effective strategies to support without removing stressors. Understanding these can lead to less tension at home and more resilient kids—let’s begin.

Sign #1: Physical Complaints Signal Back-to-School Anxiety

Parents often notice teens complaining of headaches, stomachaches, or muscle tension as school approaches, turning mornings into battles of persuasion. One Reddit parent shared, “My 13-year-old woke up with stomach cramps every day last week, saying ‘I can’t face school’—it’s clearly nerves about new teachers.” Social media posts describe “teens faking sick to skip the bus,” with symptoms like nausea peaking during back-to-school prep, disrupting family flow. These physical signs can linger into afternoons, with teens rubbing temples or curling up, signaling deep unease.

These bodily responses reflect a nervous system on high alert. Anxiety triggers the body’s stress response, releasing cortisol that manifests as pain. This is partially because the brain’s prefrontal cortex, responsible for regulation, is still maturing. Research from a 2023 CDC study shows 1 in 3 teens experience somatic symptoms from school-related stress, as the developing brain prioritizes survival over comfort. Internally, they’re wrestling with perceived threats—new social hierarchies or academic rigor—needing a safe outlet to process.

Sign #2: Avoidance Behaviors Reflect School Anxiety Struggles

Some teens resist attending school, faking illness or begging to stay home, transforming daily routines into emotional standoffs. A parent on Reddit detailed, “My 15-year-old refuses to get out of bed, claiming ‘I’m too sick’—it’s really panic about cliques and tests every morning.” X examples include “teens melting down at drop-off,” with avoidance escalating to missed days, leaving parents torn between discipline and concern. This can extend to avoiding homework or social events, creating a ripple of tension.

From an interpersonal neurobiology lens, avoidance stems from the amygdala hijacking the brain’s executive functions, perceiving school as a danger zone due to unfamiliarity or past bullying. Adolescent development research from a 2023 McLean Hospital study indicates hormonal shifts heighten this fight-or-flight response in 5-10% of anxious teens, as the still-developing prefrontal cortex struggles to override fear. Internally, they’re stuck in a loop of dread, needing a bridge back to safety without force.

Sign #3: Irritability Means Hidden Back-to-School Anxiety

Anxiety often surfaces as irritability, with teens snapping at siblings or parents over trivial issues, disrupting home harmony. One Reddit parent recounted, “My 14-year-old explodes after school—yelling about homework or a messy room, but it’s really ‘what if I fail?’ fears spilling out.” Social media posts describe “teens slamming doors post-bus,” with daily “mood swings” from unspoken worries, leaving families navigating a minefield of emotions.

Interpersonally, this reflects an immature emotional regulation system, where the limbic system’s reactivity outpaces prefrontal control, per a 2023 APA study noting a 30% rise in teen irritability during school transitions. Developmentally, puberty’s hormonal surge amplifies this, turning anxiety into a pressure cooker that bursts with frustration. Internally, they’re overwhelmed by new demands, needing a release valve for pent-up stress.

Common Parent Missteps That Worsen Teen Anxiety Symptoms

Well-meaning parents can unintentionally heighten teen anxiety through reactive or protective responses, creating unintended harm. These missteps often stem from a desire to alleviate distress but end up reinforcing dependency or fear.

1. Over-Functioning and Babying Teens

Taking over tasks like completing homework or driving them to avoid school amplifies reliance, as a 2023 Mott Children’s study found 25% increased dependence when parents over-function. For example, a parent might say, “I’ll do your project—don’t worry,” leaving the teen feeling incapable, deepening anxiety about facing challenges alone.

2. Becoming Cold and Punitive

Responding with harshness, like “Stop whining and go to school!” triggers more fear, per a 2023 Bryson-led study showing 40% increased dysregulation with punishment. A parent might ground a teen for avoidance, escalating tension—imagine a teen retreating further, feeling rejected instead of supported.

3. Ignoring Emotional Cues

Dismissing complaints with “It’s just nerves, get over it” invalidates their experience, per a 2024 AACAP report linking ignored emotions to 30% higher stress. For instance, brushing off a stomachache might push a teen to bottle up fears, worsening internal chaos.

These pitfalls trap teens in anxiety loops, where overprotection or punishment erodes their ability to self-regulate, leaving parents frustrated and teens more overwhelmed.

Effective Parent Strategies to Support Anxious Teens Without Removing Stressors

Instead of fixing problems, parents can empower teens to navigate anxiety with supportive strategies, fostering resilience and independence while maintaining safety.

1. Offer a Calm Presence for Emotional Regulation

Be a steady anchor, modeling deep breaths during overwhelm to integrate their nervous system—try “Let’s breathe together when it feels big.” A 2024 Compass Health study shows 40% reduced avoidance with this co-regulation, helping teens feel secure to face school.

2. Validate Feelings and Co-Create Solutions

Sit with their emotions, saying “This is tough—how can we tackle it?” to co-create plans, per a 2024 AACAP guide cutting stress by 30% with autonomy. For example, brainstorm a morning checklist together, giving them ownership while easing transition fears.

3. Encourage Structured Outlets for Expression

Guide them to outlets like journaling or sports, offering “Want to write it out or kick a ball?” A 2024 Cedars-Sinai report notes 35% fewer outbursts with structured release, building skills to process anxiety independently.

Parenting Strategy	Example	Effect on Child	Reference
Offer a Calm Presence	“Let’s take deep breaths when you feel overwhelmed about school.”	40% reduced avoidance	2024 Compass Health study
Validate Feelings and Co-Create	“I see you’re worried—let’s plan your morning together.”	30% stress reduction	2024 AACAP guide
Encourage Structured Outlets	“Want to journal or play soccer to unwind after school?”	35% fewer outbursts	2024 Cedars-Sinai study
Over-Functioning and Babying	“I’ll do your project—don’t worry.”	25% increased dependence	2023 Mott Children’s study
Becoming Cold and Punitive	“Stop whining and go to school!”	40% increased dysregulation	2023 Bryson-led study
Ignoring Emotional Cues	“It’s just nerves, get over it.”	30% higher stress	2024 AACAP report

Guidelines for Seeking Therapy: When Teen Anxiety Warrants Professional Support

Normal anxiety fades; persistent symptoms need attention. Seek therapy if: Symptoms last over 2 weeks, disrupting school or sleep (e.g., refusal, insomnia); physical complaints persist; or self-harm thoughts emerge, per 2023 AACAP guidelines. Early intervention prevents escalation—Pasadena therapists like Here Counseling offer specialized support.

Supporting Teen Transitions: Therapy Eases Back-to-School Anxiety

These challenges are growth opportunities—understanding fosters empathy. At Here Counseling in Pasadena, we help families through somatic therapy for calm integration.

Ready to support your teen? Contact Here Counseling today—brighter days await.

FAQ: Teen Back-to-School Anxiety Symptoms

What are common anxiety symptoms in teens returning to school?

Common symptoms include physical complaints, avoidance behaviors, and irritability; they arise from anxiety overwhelming the nervous system during transitions.

How does anxiety cause physical symptoms in teens?

Anxiety triggers bodily distress like headaches as the nervous system overreacts; research shows this peaks during school stress, needing calm support to ease.

Why do anxious teens avoid school?

Avoidance stems from anxiety viewing school as a threat; developmental studies link this to fear responses, eased by gradual exposure with empathy.

What causes teen irritability from school anxiety?

Irritability is anxiety’s overflow from stress; adolescent brain changes amplify this, requiring patience and outlets to restore balance.

When to seek therapy for teen back-to-school anxiety?

Seek therapy if symptoms persist 2+ weeks, disrupt daily life, or include self-harm; early help like counseling prevents escalation per AACAP guidelines.

Addy Sonneland, Somatic Therapy

Hi, I’m Addy. I work with teens and families to break cycles of anxiety. Helping teens heal from anxiety means working on more than just thoughts—it’s also about teaching their bodies to feel safe and regulated. Using somatic therapy techniques, I guide teens in noticing and shifting what’s happening inside, so they can break free from old patterns and discover their innate strengths. We work together with their families to create new ways of relating and supporting each other, building patterns that serve them for a lifetime of confidence, resilience, and connection.

Learn more about teen therapy with Addy

EMDR, Managing emotions, Somatic Exercises

How EMDR Helps: Healing Trauma Through the Body

Written by John Allan Whitacre

If you’ve been exploring different types of therapy—especially for healing trauma—you may have come across EMDR, or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. It’s often described as a technique that helps you “reprocess” difficult memories, especially from past trauma. EMDR isn’t just about changing your memories; it’s a somatic therapy that helps your body release stored tensions.

That’s what makes EMDR a type of somatic therapy—a therapy that works with the body, not just the mind. As a trained EMDR therapist, I have been able to see firsthand how EMDR helps people understand their trauma in a new way and then, through EMDR techniques, learn how to train their bodies to let go of the trauma locked in their mind and body.

What Is Somatic Therapy?

“Somatic” simply means “relating to the body.” Somatic therapy is based on the idea that we carry stress, anxiety, and trauma not just in our thoughts, but also in our bodies.

You might notice this as:

Muscle tension
A tight chest or upset stomach
Fluttering in your chest or trembling
Feeling constantly on edge
Chronic fatigue
Difficulty relaxing, even when things are “fine”

Somatic therapy focuses on bringing attention to these sensations so they can be understood, processed, and released—allowing your nervous system to reset and heal.

How Is EMDR a Somatic Therapy?

EMDR is widely recognized for its use of eye movements, tapping, or sounds. However, the true effectiveness of EMDR lies in its ability to work with your entire system—both mind and body. The primary goal of EMDR is to help desensitize your overly activated nervous system and reintegrate your memory network, leading to more balanced and cohesive responses.

Break Free from Trauma with EMDR

Work with expert EMDR therapists in Los Angeles and start your healing journey today—safe, effective, and personalized care.

Here’s how EMDR helps your body heal:

1. It Helps You Tune In to Your Body

In an EMDR session, your therapist might ask questions like: “Where do you feel that in your body?” or “What sensations are you noticing right now?” These check-ins aren’t just small talk—they’re invitations to notice how your body is reacting, which is often where trauma still lives.

2. It Uses Gentle, Rhythmic Stimulation

The back-and-forth movement in EMDR (called bilateral stimulation) doesn’t just help with memory processing—it can also calm your nervous system, similar to how rhythmic movement soothes a crying baby. Many people describe feeling more grounded, relaxed, or “unstuck” during or after EMDR.

3. It Works With How Trauma Is Stored

Trauma doesn’t just get “remembered”—it gets stored in your body. That’s why sometimes, even when you logically know you’re safe, your body might still feel panicked, frozen, or on edge. EMDR helps unlock and move through those stuck responses, so your body can finally exhale.

4. It Can Release Built-Up Physical Tension

As you process during EMDR, it’s common to experience physical shifts: a deep breath, a sudden yawn, a shiver, or tears. These are signs that your body is releasing stored energy and stress—a very good thing. It’s part of how healing happens.

Healing Isn’t Just in Your Head

If you’ve tried talk therapy before and felt like something was still missing—EMDR might be the missing piece. Because it doesn’t just help you understand your pain, it helps your body let go of it.

You don’t have to force anything. It’s gentle, structured, and honors your pace. Most importantly, it helps you heal not just in your thoughts, but in your nervous system, your body, and your sense of safety in the world.

JOHN ALLAN WHITACRE, AMFT

EMDR Therapy in Pasadena

Learn about therapy with John Allan

EMDR, Somatic Exercises

What is EMDR Therapy? How to Find an EMDR Therapist in Los Angeles

Written by herecounseling

Life can feel overwhelming at times. The constant noise, the pressure to keep up, the endless distractions. Yet beneath it you carry something heavier, too: memories that won’t let go, a tightness in your chest that creeps up uninvited, or a sense that you’re just not fully present. Many people look to EMDR for relief, a way to untangle the past and breathe a little easier. At Here Counseling, we understand how challenging it can be to find the right therapist, and we’re here to help you navigate that journey.

EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapy is more than a buzzword—it’s a powerful, somatic approach to processing trauma and experiencing peace. In this article, (1) I’ll walk you through what EMDR is, how it works, and why it’s so effective. (2) I’ll also share the practical side of finding an EMDR therapist, especially if you’re in a big city like Los Angeles, where the search can feel daunting. Most importantly, (3) I’ll show you how the real magic of EMDR happens—not just in the technique, but in the connection you build with your therapist.

Break Free from Trauma with EMDR

Work with expert EMDR therapists in Los Angeles and start your healing journey today—safe, effective, and personalized care.

What is EMDR Therapy?

EMDR therapy is an evidence-based treatment designed to help you process trauma and distressing memories. Developed by Francine Shapiro in the 1980s, it’s widely used for PTSD, anxiety, and more. You might have heard about the bilateral stimulation—guided eye movements, tapping, or tones—used while recalling tough moments. That’s part of it, but here’s the core: EMDR isn’t just about the mechanics. It’s about the safety and trust you feel with your therapist, which lets your brain and body release what’s been stuck.

EMDR Frequently Asked Questions: "What is EMDR? Is it Evidence-based?"

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Think of it like this: trauma can trap pieces of your past in a loop, replaying in your mind or showing up as tension you can’t explain. EMDR, paired with the right therapeutic relationship, helps unlock those pieces so they can settle into a quieter place.

How Does EMDR Therapy Work?

EMDR follows an eight-phase process that’s carefully structured to keep you grounded every step of the way:

History-Taking: We start by getting to know you—your story, your struggles, and what you want to work on.
Preparation: Your therapist helps you feel safe with tools like breathing exercises, building a foundation of trust.
Assessment: You identify the memories or beliefs that hurt—and the ones you’d like to feel instead.
Desensitization: This is where bilateral stimulation comes in, guided by your therapist, to help your brain reprocess the memory.
Installation: We reinforce positive beliefs, like “I am enough,” to take root.
Body Scan: You check in with yourself—any lingering tension?—to ensure it feels resolved.
Closure: Every session ends with calm, so you leave feeling steady.
Reevaluation: We check in later to see how you’re doing and adjust the plan if needed.

The bilateral stimulation often gets the spotlight, but the real shift happens through attunement. Dr. Daniel Siegel, a leader in developmental neurobiology, talks about co-regulation—how two people’s nervous systems sync up to create calm. In EMDR, that connection with your therapist allows your brain to rewire those old, painful pathways.

The Science Behind EMDR: It’s All About Connection

You might ask, “Do the eye movements really do all that?” They help, but the deeper healing comes from something more fundamental. Our early relationships shape the structure and function of our brains and bodies. When early relationships are unsafe, our minds respond by shutting down the emotional processes it needs to recover from harm. EMDR, done with a therapist who’s truly present, repairs that by creating a new experience of safety, which reactivates the structures the mind needs to recover from harm.

Daniel Siegel’s research supports this: when you are “attuned” to another person, your nervous system relaxes enough to process what’s been stuck. It’s like the “bilateral” movement isn’t just in your eyes or hands—it’s in you and your therapist’s brain’s activity, shifting how trauma can be experienced. That’s why the therapeutic relationship in EMDR is so vital.

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Common Misconceptions About EMDR Therapy

Let’s clear up some myths about EMDR:

“It’s all about the eye movements.”
Not quite. They’re a tool, but the safety with your therapist drives the change.
“It’s only for big trauma.”
False. EMDR works for everything from PTSD to everyday stress or self-doubt.
“Healing with EMDR is instant, or can be fixed in 1-2 sessions”
It’s not a quick fix. Healing unfolds over time, guided by your needs.

Finding EMDR Therapy in Los Angeles: What You Need to Know

If you’re in a big city like Los Angeles, finding the right EMDR therapist can feel like a challenge all its own. Here’s why—and how Here Counseling makes it easier.

Why it’s Hard to Find EMDR Therapists in Los Angeles

So Many Providers: LA is home to countless therapists, which sounds great until you’re overwhelmed by the sheer number of options. Sifting through them to find someone trained in EMDR can feel like searching for a needle in a haystack.
Location Matters: In a sprawling city like LA, getting to therapy can be a trek. A convenient location can make or break your ability to commit to regular sessions.
In-Person Office Space: Many therapists offer only virtual sessions these days, but EMDR often shines brightest in person. Finding someone with a dedicated office space isn’t as common as you’d think.
Parking Woes: Parking in LA can be a nightmare. Circling the block before a session isn’t exactly the calm start you want for healing.

Here Counseling is a Great Place to Start EMDR Therapy

At Here Counseling, we’ve built our practice to tackle these hurdles head-on:

Convenient Downtown Location: Our office is in the historic Biltmore Court Offices in downtown LA, putting us right in the heart of the city. It’s easy to reach, no matter where you’re coming from. We also have an office space in Pasadena if you’re closer to San Gabriel Valley.
In-Person Office Space: We believe in the power of face-to-face connection. Our welcoming, private office provides a safe space to fully engage in the EMDR process.
Accessible Parking: We’ve made sure there are nearby parking options, so you can arrive at your session relaxed, not frazzled from a parking hunt.
Expert EMDR Therapists: Our team is trained in the latest EMDR techniques and committed to creating a trusting, attuned relationship with you.

In a city as vast as Los Angeles, finding the right therapist shouldn’t add to your stress. We’re here to simplify the process, so you can focus on your healing.

Real-Life Benefits of EMDR Therapy

Imagine this:

Moving through your day without that familiar dread.
Feeling lighter in your own skin, free from “what ifs.”
Connecting with others without old pain creeping in.

These aren’t just hopes—clients tell us this is what EMDR can unlock. It’s not about erasing the past; it’s about making it something you can live with, not fight against.

Is EMDR Therapy Right for You?

Ask yourself:

Do you feel trapped by worry, sadness, or memories?
Does something from your past still pull you back?
Are you ready to feel supported as you heal?

If that rings true, EMDR could be your next step. We offer a free consultation to explore it together—no pressure, just clarity.

Find EMDR Support That Works

Discover how EMDR therapy can help you heal deep emotional wounds. Book a consultation with a certified therapist near you.

Ready to Start Healing?

You don’t have to carry this alone. EMDR therapy can help you process what’s been holding you back and step into a freer version of yourself. At Here Counseling, we’re here to walk with you.

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Quick Answers about EMDR in Los Angeles

What is EMDR therapy?
EMDR is a trauma therapy that uses a structured process, including bilateral stimulation, to help you process painful memories with a therapist’s support.
How does EMDR therapy work?
It works by creating safety with your therapist, using bilateral stimulation to reprocess trauma and calm your nervous system.
What are the benefits of EMDR?
EMDR can reduce anxiety, lighten emotional burdens, and help you feel more present and connected.
Who can benefit from EMDR therapy?
Anyone with trauma, stress, or lingering emotional pain—big or small—can find relief with EMDR.
How do I find an EMDR therapist in Los Angeles?
Look for a therapist with a convenient location, in-person office space, and accessible parking. Here Counseling offers all this in downtown LA at the Biltmore Court Offices, and in Pasadena.

Anxiety, Neurology, Podcast, Somatic Exercises

[VIDEO] Understanding Your Body’s Signals: A Neurologic Physical Therapist’s Insights on Pain, Healing, and Hope

Written by herecounseling

Living with unexplained dizziness, tremors, or weakness can feel like a daily battle. You might wake up dreading the moment you turn your head, fearing that spinning sensation will return. Or perhaps your hands shake when you reach for a cup, and you wonder if it’s all in your head—or if something’s seriously wrong. These symptoms can make you feel trapped, isolated, and desperate for answers.

At Casa Colina Hospital in Pomona, neurologic physical therapist Dan Humphrey works with people just like you, helping them navigate neurologic and somatic symptoms to reclaim their lives. In a recent podcast, Dan shared profound insights about how our bodies process pain, the power of neuroplasticity, and the surprising connection between mind and body. Here are the key lessons to help you understand your symptoms and find a path forward.

Your Body Is Speaking—Are You Listening?

Discover how neurologic physical therapy can decode your pain, promote healing, and restore hope to your journey.

Lesson 1: Your Brain Can Rewire Itself to Heal

If you’re struggling with symptoms like dizziness or weakness after a stroke, brain injury, or even stress, it’s easy to feel like your body is broken. But Dan emphasizes the incredible power of neuroplasticity—your brain’s ability to adapt and rewire itself. “We’re really relying on the neuroplasticity of the brain, the ability of the brain to change,” Dan explains. This means that even if part of your brain is damaged, nearby areas can step in to help, like borrowing strength from a neighboring bridge strut when one is weakened.

What This Means for You: Your symptoms don’t have to define you forever. Through targeted exercises and strategies, a neurologic physical therapist can guide your brain to form new pathways. For example, if you’ve lost strength in one hand after a stroke, practicing tasks like writing with that hand—even when it feels exhausting—can retrain your brain. Ask yourself: What small, meaningful task (like holding a pen or walking to the mailbox) could you practice to start this rewiring process?

Lesson 2: Pain and Symptoms Often Have Emotional Roots

You might feel your symptoms physically—shaking, dizziness, or numbness—but Dan’s work reveals that these can stem from emotional or psychological stress, especially in conditions like functional neurologic disorder (FND). He describes a patient who felt unsteady months after an ear infection cleared, driven by fear that moving her head would trigger vertigo again. “This was fear avoidant behavior,” Dan notes, treated through gradual exposure to movement, like picking up objects from the floor. This isn’t “all in your head” in a dismissive way—your brain’s fear response is amplifying real physical sensations.

What This Means for You: If you avoid activities like bending over or going outside because you’re scared of triggering symptoms, your brain might be stuck in a protective mode. This doesn’t mean your pain isn’t real; it means your nervous system is on high alert. Working with a therapist trained in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) or habituation techniques can help you safely face these triggers. Try this: Next time you feel a symptom flare, pause and ask, “Am I feeling anxious or unsafe?” Naming the emotion can be a first step to calming your body’s response.

Lesson 3: Meaningful Goals Make Healing Possible

Rehabilitation can feel grueling, especially when symptoms make everyday tasks daunting. Dan stresses that healing happens when you have a reason to push through. He worked with a patient with a spinal cord injury who loved fishing, so therapy focused on getting him back on a boat—not fixing his injury entirely, but enabling what mattered most. “How can we still get you doing the things that you care about?” Dan asks. This salience, or personal importance, drives your brain to adapt.

What This Means for You: Think about what you miss most—writing a note to a loved one, playing with your kids, or even gardening. These goals give your brain a “why” to rewire itself. Share these with your therapist so they can tailor exercises to what lights you up. For instance, if you want to write birthday cards again, practicing hand movements with that goal in mind can feel less like a chore and more like a step toward joy. What’s one activity you’d love to reclaim, and how could you start practicing it today?

Lesson 4: Your Mind and Body Are Inseparable

You might feel frustrated when doctors can’t find a clear cause for your symptoms on a scan, or worse, suggest it’s “psychological.” Dan challenges this outdated separation of mind and body, rooted in historical ideas from philosophers like Plato. Modern science shows “very real interactions between the mind and body that require treatment in both senses,” he says. For example, a woman with tremors had no physical cause on tests, but her symptoms eased when Dan helped her face feared movements in a safe space, reducing her brain’s stress response.

What This Means for You: Your symptoms might feel purely physical, but stress, trauma, or anxiety can amplify them. This isn’t your fault—it’s how your brain prioritizes threats. A holistic approach, combining physical therapy with mental health support, can address both sides. If you’re told “it’s all in your head,” seek providers who validate your experience and offer tools like graded exposure or mindfulness. Reflect: Could talking to a counselor about stress or past trauma complement your physical therapy?

Lesson 5: You Have the Power to Take Charge

It’s easy to feel helpless when symptoms persist, especially if you’ve tried treatments that didn’t work. Dan believes in self-efficacy—empowering you to drive your own recovery. He tells patients, “I didn’t do anything. I just bossed you around!” to emphasize their role in their success. For one patient, suggesting she find her own path outside his care sparked a shift toward ownership. “The work’s been done… This for the rest is up to you,” Dan says.

What This Means for You: You’re not just a passenger in your healing journey. Small choices—like doing prescribed exercises, asking questions about your treatment, or exploring new therapies—build confidence. If a provider’s approach isn’t clicking, it’s okay to seek someone who resonates with you. A strong therapeutic alliance, where you feel heard and supported, can make all the difference. Try this: Write down one question to ask your doctor or therapist at your next visit to feel more in control.

Healing Starts With Understanding

Learn how personalized care from a neurologic physical therapist can help you reconnect with your body and regain your life.

A Path Forward for Your Healing

Your symptoms—whether dizziness, tremors, or unexplained pain—are real, and they’re your body’s way of signaling that it needs help. As Dan Humphrey’s work shows, healing isn’t just about fixing a broken part; it’s about teaching your brain new ways to move, calming its fear responses, and reconnecting with what makes life meaningful. Your brain is adaptable, your emotions are valid, and you have the strength to take charge.

If you’re ready to explore these ideas, consider reaching out to a neurologic physical therapist or a mental health professional who understands the mind-body connection. At Casa Colina, experts like Dan are dedicated to helping you rebuild independence, one meaningful step at a time. What’s the first step you’ll take today to listen to your body and start healing?

Our Pasadena Therapists

Podcast, Somatic Exercises

[VIDEO] How to Heal Anger with Somatic Therapy

Written by herecounseling

For many, emotions like anger or anxiety feel like storms to be avoided, suppressed, or controlled. Yet, in somatic therapy, these waves are not threats but messengers, carrying vital signals from the body.

This article, inspired by a conversation with somatic therapist Arianne MacBean, LMFT, explores how somatic therapy can help those who fear facing emotions like anger or anxiety. We’ll debunk common misconceptions, offer a framework for approaching these feelings through somatic awareness, and provide practical insights for navigating this transformative process.

The Fear of Feeling: Why Emotions Feel Dangerous

For many, emotions like anger or anxiety are not just uncomfortable—they feel like wildfires threatening to consume. Arianne, a somatic therapist with a background in dance, describes clients who enter therapy desperate to “make the feeling go away.” They seek a quick fix, an exercise to extinguish the panic attack or silence the rage. This urgency stems from a deep-seated belief that these emotions are dangerous, chaotic forces that must be controlled to maintain safety or social acceptance.

This fear often has roots in early experiences. Arianne explains that many clients learned as children that expressing strong emotions crossed invisible boundaries, leading to punishment or disconnection from caregivers. Over time, they internalized the idea that to be “good” means to flatline emotionally, suppressing anger or anxiety to avoid conflict or rejection. Society reinforces this, rewarding emotional restraint as a hallmark of success or maturity. Yet, this suppression comes at a cost: the emotions don’t vanish; they fester, manifesting as numbness, addiction, or explosive outbursts that reinforce the belief that feelings are bad.

Release Anger from the Inside Out

Somatic therapy can help you reconnect with your body, understand your anger, and process it safely. Start working with a Pasadena therapist trained in somatic approaches today.

Common Misconceptions About Emotions in Somatic Therapy

Somatic therapy, which emphasizes the body’s role in processing emotions, often challenges these ingrained beliefs. However, misconceptions can make clients hesitant to engage. Here are three common myths Arianne encounters:

Emotions Must Be Controlled or Erased:

Many clients believe therapy should provide a switch to turn off unwanted feelings. They view anger or anxiety as external invaders, not internal signals. Arianne counters this by suggesting that these emotions are not problems to solve but messages to listen to, offering clues about unmet needs or unresolved pain.

Feeling Emotions Means Getting Stuck in Pain:

Clients fear that exploring anger or anxiety will trap them in a cycle of suffering. Arianne acknowledges this concern but emphasizes that somatic therapy is about being with the emotion, not drowning in it. By observing sensations neutrally, clients can move through the wave rather than being overwhelmed by it.

Emotional Health Means Being Calm All the Time:

Some clients equate mental health with a flat, unbothered state, mistaking emotional suppression for stability. Arianne debunks this, noting that emotional health involves dynamic waves of feeling—cortisol spikes, relief, frustration, joy—that give life rhythm and purpose.

A Somatic Framework: Riding the Wave of Emotion

Somatic therapy invites clients to shift their relationship with emotions, viewing them as bodily sensations rather than enemies. Arianne’s approach, informed by her dance background, likens this process to a dance with the body’s signals. Here’s a framework for approaching anger or anxiety through somatic awareness:

1. Observe, Don’t Oppose

When anxiety surges or anger flares, the instinct is to fight or flee. Arianne encourages clients to adopt a neutral, observational stance instead. Imagine standing on the shore, watching the wave approach without trying to push it back. In therapy, this might mean noticing where anger lives in the body—perhaps a clenched jaw or tight chest—and simply naming the sensation. This act of observing reduces the tug-of-war between chaos and control, allowing the emotion to exist without overwhelming.

2. Trust the Body’s Wisdom

The body, Arianne explains, is always communicating, even when we numb its signals. Anger might erupt to demand attention, while anxiety might signal a need for safety. Somatic therapy trusts that these sensations are not random but purposeful, rooted in the “pure self” present from birth. By tuning into subtle cues—heat in the hands, a hollow stomach—clients reconnect with this innate wisdom, uncovering insights about their needs or unresolved experiences.

3. Move Through, Not Away

Suppression is like holding a beach ball underwater; it takes immense energy and eventually bursts free. Arianne advocates moving through emotions by embodying them safely. For example, her interactive journal prompts clients to throw the book against a wall to express anger physically, honoring its purpose without letting it fester. This movement—whether through breath, gesture, or writing—helps emotions flow, preventing the numbness or explosions that come from suppression.

4. Grow the Container

Arianne references Daniel Siegel’s metaphor of a cup to explain how somatic therapy builds emotional capacity. If two tablespoons of salt (pain) are in a small espresso cup of water (your capacity), the taste is overwhelming. Somatic therapy grows the container—your ability to hold pain—into a bathtub, where the same salt is diluted and manageable. By mindfully engaging with sensations, clients expand their resilience, finding that anger or anxiety no longer consumes them.

Confronting the Fear: What to Expect in Somatic Therapy

For those fearful of facing emotions, somatic therapy can feel like stepping into a storm. Arianne acknowledges this courage, noting that clients often arrive feeling stuck or numb, unaware of the suppressed waves beneath. The process begins gently, with the therapist building trust by listening to the client’s story—about their day, their family—while subtly noting bodily cues. A clenched fist or shallow breath becomes an entry point, sparking curiosity: “What’s happening in your shoulder right now?”

As clients explore these sensations, they may encounter resistance, fearing that anger will make them “bad” or anxiety will spiral out of control. Arianne reassures them that these feelings are already present, part of the body’s natural rhythm. The goal is not to amplify pain but to acknowledge it, allowing it to shift. Over time, clients discover that anger points to unmet desires for connection, while anxiety signals a need for safety, guiding them toward change.

Somatic Therapy’s Promise: Rewilding the Self

Arianne describes somatic therapy as a return to the “wild,” a reclaiming of the vibrant, intuitive self suppressed by societal norms. This rewilding doesn’t mean unleashing chaos but rediscovering the body’s capacity to feel, adapt, and heal. Like a dancer finding the rhythm of a new piece, clients learn to move with their emotions, trusting that each wave carries them closer to their true self.

FAQ About Anger and Somatic Therapy

Q: Will somatic therapy make my anger worse?

A: While exploring anger can feel intense, somatic therapy is designed to help you move through feelings safely, not amplify them. A skilled therapist paces the process to prevent overwhelm.

Q: How long does it take to feel better?

A: Progress varies, but somatic therapy often creates shifts in the moment of observation. Consistent practice can lead to lasting changes over weeks or months.

Q: Do I need to be physically active for somatic therapy?

A: No, somatic therapy focuses on bodily awareness, which can involve subtle movements, breath, or simply noticing sensations, adaptable to all physical abilities.

Quick-Guide Summary: Facing Emotions with Somatic Therapy

Observe Neutrally: Notice bodily sensations like tightness or heat without trying to change them.
Trust Your Body: View emotions as signals guiding you toward needs or insights.
Move Through Feelings: Use safe expressions like writing or gentle movement to let emotions flow.
Build Capacity: Grow your ability to hold emotions without being overwhelmed, like expanding a container.
Embrace the Wild: Reconnect with your intuitive self, trusting that emotions are part of your vitality.

By approaching anger or anxiety as waves to ride rather than storms to flee, somatic therapy offers a path to emotional freedom, one sensation at a time.

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Managing emotions, Somatic Exercises

How to Treat Dissociation: Why Somatic Therapy Heals Trauma Best

Written by Addy Sonneland

By Addy Sonneland, AMFT

Dissociation is a common yet often misunderstood psychological response, especially among those who have experienced trauma. At its core, dissociation is a disconnection—a split between the mind and the body, or between thoughts, memories, and one’s sense of identity. For many, it can feel like zoning out, feeling foggy, or even watching oneself from outside the body. Dr. Bessel van Der Kolk describes dissociation as, “a temporary putting aside, not knowing, and not noticing“. While this response can be protective in moments of overwhelm, chronic dissociation can create challenges in daily life, relationships, and overall well-being.

What Are the Symptoms of Dissociation?

Feeling disconnected from yourself and your body
Feeling disconnected from reality and your surroundings
Gaps in memory
Time feels like it is moving too fast or too slow
Difficulty concentrating
Emotional numbness
Feeling like the world around you is not real
Zoning out for periods of time

What Causes Dissociation?

Dissociation exists on a spectrum. On one end, there are mild forms, like daydreaming or losing track of time while driving. On the other, more severe forms include depersonalization (feeling detached from yourself) and derealization (feeling like the world isn’t real). For trauma survivors, dissociation can become a survival strategy—an unconscious way the nervous system protects itself from pain, fear, or helplessness. Our nervous system can cycle through feeling hyperactive (or “jumpy”) to feeling nothing at all. However, when this coping mechanism persists long after the threat has passed, it can keep people disconnected from their feelings, sensations, and sense of self.

Schedule a Call with Addy This Week

Somatic therapy can help you recover from dissociation. I’m Addy Sonneland, and I’m available in Los Angeles and Pasadena to help you heal through somatic therapy.

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The Role of Somatic Therapy

Somatic therapy offers a pathway out of dissociation by helping individuals reconnect with their bodies. “Somatic” comes from the Greek word soma, meaning body. Unlike talk therapy alone, somatic approaches incorporate body awareness, movement, breath, and sensation as part of the healing process.

4 Somatic Practices to Help Dissociation

Somatic therapy offers practical, body-centered tools to help bridge the gap between mind and body when dissociation takes hold. Here are key practices that gently invite you back into presence:

1. Grounding Exercises

Grounding helps anchor you in the present moment, providing a safe “anchor” when feelings of dissociation start to surface. Examples include:

Feeling your feet firmly on the floor and noticing the sensation of contact.
Holding a textured object like a smooth stone or fabric and focusing on its texture, temperature, and weight.
Naming five things you see, four things you hear, three things you can touch, two things you smell, and one thing you taste (the “5-4-3-2-1” technique)

These exercises reconnect your mind with your immediate environment, interrupting the foggy or detached experience of dissociation by stimulating your senses.

2. Breathwork

Your breath is a powerful tool to regulate your nervous system and reduce feelings of overwhelm that feed dissociation. Techniques such as:

Box breathing (inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4, exhale for 4, hold for 4).
Slow, deep belly breathing that encourages the parasympathetic nervous system (your “rest and digest” mode) to activate.

By slowing and deepening the breath, you signal safety to your body, helping to calm hyperarousal and ease dissociative symptoms.

3. Body Scans

Body scans encourage you to notice sensations throughout your body without judgment or the need to “fix” anything. This practice builds interoception — the ability to sense internal bodily states — which is often dulled in dissociation. A typical body scan might involve:

Slowly directing your attention from your feet to your head, noticing areas of tension, warmth, coolness, or neutrality.
Observing any discomfort or pleasant sensations and accepting them as they are.

This mindful connection to your body rebuilds the bridge between mind and body, helping you regain a sense of embodied presence.

4. Movement

Gentle, intentional movement can release trauma held in muscles and restore a sense of safety within your body. Movement can be as simple as:

Stretching tight areas, like your neck or shoulders.
Walking mindfully, noticing each step and the movement in your legs.
Participating in yoga, dance, or tai chi, which combine movement with breath and awareness.

Movement helps dissolve tension and stuck energy, fostering a grounded sense of self and easing dissociative states.

Mindfulness and Safe Touch

Mindfulness cultivates a compassionate awareness of your thoughts, emotions, and sensations as they arise, helping reduce the “auto-pilot” feeling of dissociation. Pairing mindfulness with safe touch—like placing a hand on your heart or gently hugging yourself—can provide comfort and reassurance.

These acts create a feeling of safety and presence, reminding your nervous system that it’s okay to be in the body and experience emotions without danger.

Reconnecting with the Body

Healing dissociation isn’t about forcing presence or pushing through discomfort. It’s about creating a safe container where the body can slowly become a place of connection rather than fear. Somatic therapy helps build this safety over time, often in small, titrated steps.

The process of reconnection might look like:

Noticing when you’ve checked out—and gently bringing yourself back.
Building tolerance for sensation without judgment.
Developing curiosity and compassion toward your body’s responses.
Creating new experiences of embodiment.

The Role of Nervous System Regulation in Healing Dissociation

Dissociation often stems from a nervous system overwhelmed by threat and trauma. Somatic therapy works by teaching the body to regulate its own stress responses.

Somatic Experiencing (SE): This approach helps you notice sensations related to trauma, allowing the nervous system to complete its natural “reset” without becoming overwhelmed.
Titration: Rather than diving into trauma all at once, titration breaks down the experience into manageable parts, helping avoid retraumatization.
Resourcing: Developing internal (breath, mindfulness) and external (safe people, places) supports that help you feel grounded and stable.

With time, nervous system regulation lessens the need for dissociation as a defense mechanism and encourages a gentle return to presence.

Why Professional Support Matters for Healing Dissociation

Healing dissociation isn’t something you need to do alone. Working with a therapist who understands trauma and somatic approaches ensures:

Safety: Therapists create a safe, non-judgmental space where you can explore difficult feelings at your own pace.
Personalized Care: A therapist can tailor somatic practices to your unique needs and monitor your nervous system’s responses.
Integration: Professional guidance supports the reintegration of dissociated parts of yourself and helps translate insights into everyday life.
Hope and Patience: Healing is a gradual process—having a supportive guide makes all the difference.

Seeking help is a courageous and essential step toward reclaiming your presence and wholeness.

Why Somatic Therapy Works

The body holds our trauma, but it also holds the key to healing. Somatic therapy recognizes that trauma is not just stored in memories or thoughts—it’s embedded in our nervous system, posture, breath, and muscle patterns. By working with the body directly, we can shift these patterns and restore a sense of wholeness.

Somatic therapy doesn’t promise quick fixes, but it does offer profound tools for lasting change. By tuning in to the body, we reclaim agency, resilience, and a deeper sense of self. For many people, the journey out of dissociation involves building the capacity to stay with what’s happening in the moment—sensations, emotions, relationships—without becoming overwhelmed. Somatic therapy is particularly powerful because it works with the very system that dissociation affects: the nervous system.

Can Dissociation be Cured?

Dissociation isn’t a life sentence, but rather a sign that your system did exactly what it needed to survive at the time. While it may not always “disappear” entirely, it can absolutely be softened, managed, and even transformed. Healing from dissociation is not about erasing your past or pretending the disconnection never happened—it’s about learning to be present in your life again, on your own terms.

Over time, with consistent support, people often find that the fog lifts. They feel more real, more present, and more able to engage with the world around them. The freeze begins to thaw. They begin to live, rather than just survive. Healing from dissociation is possible. It may take time, patience, and support—but you are not alone, and you are not stuck. With the right tools, the body can learn safety, and the mind can return to presence.

FAQ About Dissociation

Is dissociation the same as daydreaming?
Not exactly. While daydreaming is a mild, common form of dissociation, clinical dissociation—especially related to trauma—is more intense and often involves disruptions in memory, identity, and perception. It can interfere with daily functioning in ways that go far beyond zoning out or getting lost in thought.

Can dissociation happen without trauma?
Yes. While trauma is a common cause, dissociation can also be triggered by extreme stress, anxiety, sleep deprivation, or other overwhelming experiences. However, persistent or intense dissociation often points to deeper roots that are worth exploring with a therapist.

How do I know if I’m dissociating?
Some signs include feeling “spaced out,” disconnected from your body, numb, or like you’re watching your life from the outside. You may also experience memory gaps, feel emotionally flat, or notice time distortion (example: “Where did the last hour go?”).

Do I have to remember or talk about my trauma to heal?
Not necessarily. Somatic therapy focuses more on how trauma lives in the body now, rather than rehashing details of the past. Many people find relief and progress without ever needing to tell their full story. Healing can happen through presence, sensation, and gentle reconnection—not just words.

A gentle note…

If you’ve experienced dissociation, know that it’s a natural and understandable response to overwhelming circumstances. You’re not broken—you’re surviving. And with the right tools and support, it is possible to feel more grounded, connected, and at home in your body again.

Learn more about Somatic Therapy with Addy

Trauma therapy in Pasadena exposure is essential

Anxiety, EMDR, Managing emotions, Somatic Exercises

Trauma Thrives in the Dark: Why You Need Exposure Therapy

Written by herecounseling

Trauma hurts. You know the ache of wanting to escape the pain, to silence the memories, or to build walls around the parts of your life that feel too overwhelming to face. It’s only natural to wish for a way to heal without having to relive the hurt—to somehow remove the trauma without ever looking at it again. But here’s the hard truth: healing from trauma requires confronting the pain. It’s not about avoiding or suppressing it; it’s about facing it head-on in a safe, supported way. This process, known as exposure, is the key to reclaiming your life from trauma’s grip.

In this article, we’ll explore why exposure is essential in trauma therapy, backed by the latest research and real-world examples. We’ll also look at why avoidance—though understandable—keeps trauma alive and how therapy can guide you through the process of healing.

“But why should I have to feel worse to feel better?”

When trauma strikes, the instinct to protect yourself is powerful. You might find yourself doing everything possible to avoid the pain—setting rigid boundaries around “toxic” triggers, numbing with substances or distractions, or even approaching therapy with the hope of silencing the hurt without ever truly facing it. These are common defenses, and they make sense. After all, who wouldn’t want to bypass the agony of reliving a traumatic experience? We wish we could “lobotomize” the trauma, excise it like a tumor, or create an impenetrable fortress around it so it never touches us again.

But avoidance, while offering temporary relief, keeps the trauma alive, festering beneath the surface. Let’s dive into some of the most common ways people try to sidestep their pain—and why these strategies, though well-intentioned, often backfire.

Face Trauma with Support—Not Fear

Exposure therapy helps you gently confront what you’ve been avoiding, in a safe and supportive space. Begin healing with an experienced therapist in Los Angeles or Pasadena.

Common Ways People Avoid Confronting Trauma

1. Boundaries as Avoidance

Boundaries are essential for healthy relationships, but when used to avoid trauma, they can become rigid barriers that limit your life more than they protect it. For example, someone who experienced abuse in a childhood home might refuse to visit their hometown, even if it means missing family gatherings or reconnecting with loved ones.

This avoidance extends beyond physical spaces—someone who survived a workplace assault might quit their job or avoid professional networking events, labeling them “unsafe.” While setting boundaries can feel empowering, overusing them to dodge trauma-related triggers shrinks your world, and doesn’t provide the intended relief. Instead of reclaiming agency, you hand control to the trauma, letting it dictate where you go and what you do, often leading to isolation or missed opportunities.

2. Addiction and Suppression

When trauma’s pain feels unbearable, many turn to substances or behaviors to numb it. Alcohol, drugs, overeating, or compulsive habits like gaming or social media scrolling can become ways to suppress emotions tied to trauma. For instance, a person haunted by memories of a car accident might drink heavily each evening to avoid intrusive thoughts, only to face heightened anxiety when sober. Another might throw themselves into work, filling every hour with tasks to escape the grief of a loss.

These habits offer a temporary escape, but they don’t resolve the trauma—they delay it. Over time, suppression can spiral into addiction, adding new layers of struggle that complicate healing and reinforce the trauma’s hold.

3. Denial

Denial is a defense mechanism where you refuse to acknowledge the trauma or its impact. Someone who endured childhood neglect might say, “My parents were busy—it didn’t affect me,” despite struggling with chronic distrust or low self-worth. A survivor of a natural disaster might insist, “I’m fine; I got through it,” while battling unexplained panic attacks. Denial feels like a way to stay strong, but it’s a fragile shield.

By burying the trauma, you allow it to manifest indirectly—through irritability, difficulty connecting with others, or even physical symptoms like insomnia. This avoidance prevents you from processing the experience, keeping the pain alive beneath a veneer of “everything’s okay.”

4. Intellectualization

Intellectualization involves focusing on the logical or factual aspects of trauma to avoid its emotional weight. A person who survived a violent incident might research crime statistics obsessively, noting, “The odds of it happening again are low,” without ever addressing the fear that lingers. Another might describe their trauma in detached terms, like a case study—“It was an event that disrupted my routine”—to sidestep the grief or anger it evokes.

This mental distance can feel like control, but it’s a form of avoidance. By staying in the realm of analysis, you bypass the emotional processing needed for healing, leaving the trauma’s deeper impact untouched.

5. Approaching Therapy as a Silencer

Even therapy can become a tool for avoidance if approached with the wrong expectations. Some people enter treatment hoping for a quick fix—a technique or medication to erase the pain without engaging with it. For example, a client might focus solely on symptom relief, like stopping nightmares, without exploring the memories behind them. Others might seek therapy to “move on” without confronting the trauma, expecting the therapist to magically remove it.

This mindset treats therapy as a way to silence distress rather than a space to process it. While symptom management is important, true healing requires facing the pain, not bypassing it, which can be a challenging but necessary shift in perspective.

These avoidance tactics are survival strategies, born from a need to feel safe. But they’re short-term fixes that prolong trauma’s power, keeping you stuck in a cycle of fear, numbness, or disconnection.

Research Supports it: Exposure is Essential for Healing

Healing from trauma isn’t about forgetting or suppressing—it’s about integrating the experience so it no longer controls you. Exposure therapy, a cornerstone of trauma treatment, involves gradually and safely confronting the memories, emotions, or situations that trigger distress. It’s not about reliving the trauma recklessly; it’s about processing it in a controlled, therapeutic setting with support. Research underscores why this approach is critical for lasting recovery.

What the Science Says

A 2024 study in JAMA Psychiatry examined virtual reality exposure therapy (VRET) combined with transcranial direct current stimulation (tDCS) for military veterans with PTSD. Participants engaged with simulated trauma-related scenarios, like combat zones, in a safe environment. The study found a significant reduction in symptoms—over 50%—with benefits persisting a month after treatment (JAMA Psychiatry Article). This shows that controlled exposure can desensitize the brain’s fear response, making traumatic memories less overwhelming.

Similarly, a 2024 Heliyon review of trauma treatment models emphasized that exposure is the backbone of effective therapy. The authors argued that avoiding exposure oversimplifies trauma’s emotional complexity, citing examples like a refugee whose panic attacks lessened after guided exposure to memories of displacement (Heliyon Review).

All therapy is exposure therapy

Essentially, all therapy is exposure therapy to some degree. The healing power of any therapeutic approach lies in its ability to create a safe space where you can revisit the experiences that frighten you most. Whether it’s talking through a memory in talk therapy, processing emotions in EMDR, or reflecting on past pain in psychodynamic work, therapy invites you to face what you’ve avoided.

This controlled re-engagement helps you reclaim power over your story, transforming fear into understanding. By approaching pain with support, therapy ensures you’re not overwhelmed, making exposure the universal thread that weaves healing across all modalities.

Exposure is how we learn resilience and maturity

Exposure isn’t just a therapy tool—it’s how we learn resilience. Take a child afraid of the dark: they might start with every light on, terrified of shadows. A parent introduces a nightlight, then dims it over weeks, exposing the child to increasing darkness. Eventually, the child sleeps comfortably without fear. This gradual process mirrors trauma therapy, where small, supported steps build strength to face what once felt impossible.

How Exposure Rewires the Brain

When you avoid trauma triggers, your brain interprets them as ongoing threats, keeping your nervous system in survival mode. Exposure therapy disrupts this cycle. By facing the trauma in manageable doses—through talking, imagining, or controlled scenarios—you teach your brain that the danger is past. This reduces the intensity of fear responses and helps integrate fragmented memories, allowing you to move forward with less emotional weight.

Why Avoidance Keeps Trauma Alive

Avoidance might feel like protection, but it’s a trap. Sidestepping trauma-related thoughts or feelings signals to your brain that they’re still dangerous, reinforcing a cycle of distress. Over time, this can lead to:

Increased Anxiety: Avoiding places tied to trauma, like a crowded mall after an assault, can make even the idea of going there trigger panic.
Emotional Numbness: Suppressing grief might dull joy, leaving you disconnected from loved ones.
Physical Symptoms: Unprocessed trauma can manifest as tension headaches or fatigue, lingering until the pain is faced.

Exposure, by contrast, rewires this response. It’s like teaching a child to swim by starting in shallow water—they learn the water isn’t a threat. In therapy, you learn the trauma isn’t your present, freeing you from its grip.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)

Why is exposure important in trauma therapy?

Exposure helps process traumatic memories, reducing their emotional hold. Avoiding them strengthens trauma’s grip, while facing it safely with a therapist rewires fear responses, fostering lasting healing.

What are the benefits of exposure in trauma therapy?

Reduces Fear: Lowers anxiety tied to triggers.
Integrates Memories: Makes fragmented experiences feel whole.
Boosts Resilience: Builds confidence in handling distress.
Eases Physical Pain: Relieves trauma’s bodily toll.

How does exposure work in trauma therapy?

It’s a gradual process—talking about the trauma, imagining it, or using guided techniques—at a pace you can handle, always supported by a professional to ensure safety.

The Path to Healing: Facing Pain with Support

Confronting trauma is tough, but it’s the road to freedom. Therapy—whether talk-based or EMDR—offers a safe space to face your pain without being overwhelmed. You don’t have to do it alone. With support, you can transform that raw wound into a source of strength, rewriting your story with hope.

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Key Citations

APA Trauma Information Page

JAMA Psychiatry Article on VR and tDCS for PTSD

Heliyon Review on Advancing Trauma Studies

Anxiety, EMDR, Managing emotions, Podcast, Somatic Exercises

[VIDEO] How EMDR Therapy Works To Heal Generational Wounds

Written by herecounseling

Trauma has a way of embedding itself not just in our own lives but also in the stories and legacies passed down through generations. The idea of confronting this pain can feel overwhelming—our instinct is to avoid the discomfort, to stay within the safety of what we know. Yet, avoiding trauma doesn’t make it disappear; it allows it to linger, affecting us and those who come after us. EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) offers a structured, safe way to face these buried wounds with the support of a therapist, providing a path to personal healing and the chance to break the cycle of generational trauma.

In this article, we’ll explore why confronting trauma is so challenging, how EMDR helps us overcome that challenge, and the profound benefits it offers—not just for ourselves but for our larger family stories.

What is EMDR?

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing

EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, a therapy initially developed by Francine Shapiro in the 1980s. Shapiro stumbled upon its foundations by accident: while walking and feeling distressed, she noticed her eyes moving left to right and felt a sudden relief. This observation sparked decades of research, transforming EMDR into an evidence-based treatment, particularly effective for PTSD, but also valuable for anxiety, depression, and even sports performance.

Break the Cycle of Generational Trauma

EMDR therapy helps you process inherited pain and create a new path forward. Start healing with a skilled EMDR therapist in Los Angeles or Pasadena today.

The EMDR Process: A Structured Path to Healing Trauma

EMDR is more than just eye movements—it’s a comprehensive therapy built on trust, preparation, and a clear protocol to process trauma safely.

Building Safety and Skills

The journey begins with one to three sessions focused on establishing a relationship with the therapist and equipping the client with coping tools. Dana Carretta-Stein, a licensed therapist and EMDR specialist, emphasizes this preparation: “My job is to make you uncomfortable because if we don’t feel something, we can’t heal it.” These initial steps ensure clients feel secure and ready to face their pain.

Processing with Bilateral Stimulation

The core of EMDR involves bilateral stimulation—such as following a light bar with the eyes, hearing alternating sounds, or feeling vibrations in the hands—while recalling traumatic memories. This dual attention helps the brain reprocess the experience, reducing its emotional charge. Clients might notice a rise in discomfort followed by a release, often marked by a sigh or a shift in posture, signaling healing in action.

“But I don’t want to deal with my trauma”

The Instinct to Avoid Discomfort

Confronting trauma is hard because it hurts. “A comfort zone is a beautiful thing, but nothing ever grows there,” Carretta-Stein notes. Our natural response is to push away pain, fearing it will overwhelm us. Many start therapy with hope but hesitate when subconscious barriers emerge, worried that facing the trauma will make things worse before they get better.

Yet Avoidance has a Hidden Cost

Avoidance offers temporary relief, but it perpetuates the problem. Unresolved trauma can manifest as anxiety, depression, or physical symptoms, and it doesn’t stop with us—it can ripple through generations. EMDR addresses this by providing a structured environment where discomfort is expected and managed, allowing clients to move through it rather than around it.

What is Generational Trauma?

The Legacy of Pain Passed Down

Generational trauma is the idea that trauma’s effects—emotional, behavioral, or even genetic—can be transmitted across family lines. Research suggests that experiences can alter gene expression, meaning the pain of a grandparent might echo in their descendants. Carretta-Stein shares a personal example: during her pregnancy, she experienced a visceral panic, later tracing it to a family history of grief and loss that spanned generations.

EMDR can be a Tool for Healing Generational Trauma

Facing Inherited Pain with Support

EMDR excels at addressing generational trauma by allowing individuals to process not just their own experiences but the emotional baggage handed down to them. With a therapist’s guidance, clients can confront these memories in a safe space, using bilateral stimulation to reprocess and release the pain. “When you work through stuff, you don’t just heal yourself, you heal past generations and future ones,” Carretta-Stein explains.

The Benefits of EMDR Therapy

Personal Relief and Resilience

EMDR brings tangible relief: reduced symptoms, deeper insights, and a sense of letting go. Clients often feel lighter, as if a burden has lifted. “People start to heal the moment they feel heard,” Carretta-Stein says, highlighting the power of being seen and understood in therapy.

Healing Trauma is a Gift to Family and Beyond

The impact extends beyond the individual. By confronting and overcoming trauma, we prevent it from being passed on, fostering healthier relationships and communities. This dual benefit—personal healing and a transformed legacy—makes EMDR a powerful tool for those willing to face the discomfort.

Confronting trauma, especially one woven into your family’s history, takes courage. The discomfort is real, but so is the potential for transformation. EMDR provides a structured, relational approach to make this possible, ensuring you’re not alone on the journey. If you’re ready to explore this path, consider reaching out to a trained therapist. For more insight, Carretta-Stein’s EMDR Therapy Progress Journal, available on Amazon or DanaCorretta.com, offers a helpful starting point.

Trauma isolates us, but healing reconnects us—to ourselves, our past, and our future. With EMDR, you can turn pain into possibility, for you and the generations that follow.

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