So it’s your first time in therapy. You know that talking about difficult aspects of your life with your therapist is normal, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy! There is a part of you that wants to share and get support from your therapist, but there is also a part of you that fears being judged and worries about having to face deep hurt. Being able to speak freely and safely in therapy is crucial for your healing journey, but it can also be nerve-wracking. Here are a few ways to address challenging topics with your therapist.
Won’t talking about bad things make me feel bad?
You worry that talking about depression, anxiety, trauma will make it worse. But the reverse is true. There are surprising benefits to talking about what’s uncomfortable.
- You can finally live more authentically
- It becomes less scary when you talk about it
- You’ll become more courageous and brave
1. Start with how you feel NOW
You get to be exactly where you are in your own therapeutic journey. If you feel scared about discussing a certain topic, start there. Tell your therapist that you feel uncomfortable or scared talking about a specific issue. This gets you over the hurdle of broaching a difficult subject. You can say, “I want you to know there is something important I need to bring, and I’m feeling scared to talk about it. I might need your support in how to talk about it.” A good therapist will always honor the time you need to address scary stuff and provide support in helping you get there.
2. Communicate what you need
Let your therapist know what would be helpful for you in discussing a tough topic. You can ask for no interruptions, or no immediate responses. You can also ask your therapist to allow silences, or alternately, to encourage you when silences occur. Let your therapist know how they can create a safe space for you to speak without restrictions.
3. Ask anything
You can ask your therapist any questions that arise during session. If you have concerns or confusion about how things work in therapy or in the client/therapist relationship, ask! You may ask your therapist to review confidentiality or to explain something that doesn’t sit right or feels unclear. A good therapist will accept your questions as an opportunity to build trust and mutual respect.
Remember your therapist is a trained professional
Therapists go through years of education and clinical practice to hold their clients’ complex emotions. Just as you must disclose painful things to your doctor to stay healthy, you need to talk with your therapist about unpleasant or embarrassing feelings. Therapists are prepared to discuss all experiences and feelings you have. This is their job. If you still feel uncomfortable talking with your therapist, it’s OK. Go slow and trust that the important things affecting your lie and experience will come up eventually. A good therapist will guide you toward what needs to be discussed.
Disclosing essential information will help you
If you want to get the most out of your therapeutic experience, it is helpful to share the significant issues. For example, it’s important to tell your therapist if you have suicidal thoughts or are in danger of hurting yourself. This will help your therapist get you the immediate resources you need to stabilize and feel safe. It is good to disclose chronic illnesses or diseases, upcoming surgeries, as well as current or past in/outpatient psychiatric treatment. Your therapist can tailor your sessions to complement other treatment and create the continuity of care you deserve.
You’ll feel better
Finally, remember that speaking with your therapist about shameful or uncomfortable issues can be awkward at first. However, processing those feelings with a caring professional will move you into acceptance and ease where you are happier, lighter, and more yourself.
